Kim Jong-Il Is Dead

Isn't Kim Jong-un around 27? That's awfully young, not sure if I have high hopes for his regime.

^ He's somewhere between 25 and 30. We aren't really sure.

Also, South Korean stocks are plummeting.◊

Meh, who knows? King tut was what, 12?

This is why I hate stock brokers...

edited 18th Dec '11 8:13:09 PM by Joesolo

I'm baaaaaaack

...why would South Korean stocks be plummeting? That doesn't make much sense.

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!

...this does not bode well.

edited 18th Dec '11 8:13:30 PM by Raikage

North Korea dosn't have stocks. They can't even feed their people.

Idea! Everyone buy South Korean stocks in the next few days. Chances are there gonna go back up. Worst case scenario it might take a few decades, but they will.

edited 18th Dec '11 8:15:29 PM by Joesolo

I'm baaaaaaack

...So, are the stockbrokers of the opinion that North will soon be at war with South?

Proud member of the IAA What's the point of being grown up if you can't act childish?

So how likely does Korean War: Part 2 seem at this point?

^ Immensely unlikely. They aren't stupid.

^^ Possible instability on the Korean peninsula is just seen as bad by investors. The heart of the Eastern Asian economy is within artillery range of the North.

While war is unlikely, people are moving around investments "just in case".

edited 18th Dec '11 8:16:30 PM by Pentadragon

Stockbroker: OMG something happened! That means people will be uncertain as to what will happen next! Market uncertainty is bad! Let me sell so I'm not invested too heavily in this time of self-created uncertainty! *sells all the stocks*

Pretty much. Stockbrokers get nervous because no one likes seeing their investments shelled by artillery.

The Homefront scenario is about as likely as landlocked Switzerland developing amphibious capability and taking over the US by landing at Washington DC. The NorKor military looks impressive on paper only until you realize a) their equipment dates back to the 1960s, b) their soldiers are under-nourished due to lack of food, and c) the South Koreans have both a numerical and a qualitative advantage and could hold the line all by themselves if push came to shove.

Charlie Stross's cheerful, optimistic predictions for 2017, part one of three.

http://kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com/

ALL CREATURE WILL DIE AND ALL THE THINGS WILL BE BROKEN. THAT'S THE LAW OF SAMURAI.

"Paranoid Stockbrocker" sounds like an Advice Animals spinoff worth making, doesn't it?

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!

Now I feel kinda stupid for thinking the two Korean armies were virtually equal.

I don't see much chance of open war occurring but I'd wager that every single south korean spy is sowing dissent in the people and pushing for fifteen different people to try to take the dictatorship from Jong's son. A power struggle isn't out of the cards and perhaps all out civil war will occur before the year's out.

Is using "Julian Assange is a Hillary butt plug" an acceptable signature quote?

I tweeted the news on my Twitter (@chihuahuazero), along with the Last Dictator Standing video.

Let's hope this doesn't end with war. If anything, let's hope this means that North Korea will recover.

Oh, don't get the wrong idea. A reawakening of the Korean War would end with Seoul being wiped off the face of the planet and the Korean peninsula getting utterly devastated. That's more or less due to sheer numbers though.

North Korea cannot win a war against anyone, but they would unleash hell on earth before dying.

edited 18th Dec '11 8:27:57 PM by Pentadragon

Also, something I think should be mentioned here:

Lee Myung-bak got one heck of a birthday present for his 70th.

Dammit, all these dictators keep dying before I can start my new TV game show, Dictator Cage Fighting!

But this certainly will be interesting to see what happens on the Korean peninsula now.

If there were any way to confirm or deny the results, I'd take that wager. First, getting an intelligence officer into a country as paranoid as North Korea is extremely difficult. Second, that agent would be occupied with sending information south, which is much smarter, much more valuable, and much, much less risky than sowing propaganda. And lastly, South Korea doesn't want the North to break down in a civil war. The last thing you want is for a nuclear-armed country to implode into instability, especially if you're the one who has to deal with the fallout.

edited 18th Dec '11 8:31:14 PM by SabresEdge

Charlie Stross's cheerful, optimistic predictions for 2017, part one of three.

North Korean State Television is now announcing that Kim Jong Un will take over immediately as leader of the People's Democratic Republic of Korea.

I wouldn't be surprised if some quiet words were being passed to SK from the PRC "suggesting" they not agitate things in NK for the immediate future, as well. Not only because NK is a buffer state for the PRC, but if things do go to shit there the Chinese are faced with the potential for a whole shitload of refugees they can't (and more importantly don't want to) really support.

All your safe space are belong to Trump

Not surprised.

I'd just like to point out that the younger Chinese leaders see North Korea as nothing more than a huge weight on their shoulders and a detriment to the public reputation of their state. Make of that what you will.

edited 18th Dec '11 8:46:53 PM by FuschlatzOReilly

It's a little more complicated than that. The most accurate metaphor I've heard is that of a yappy, annoying little dog: they'd dearly like to get rid of it, but it annoys their rivals (read: the US) more than it annoys them, and it's not worth the bite on the heel to give the little bastard a kick (read: refugee crisis).

edited 18th Dec '11 8:46:51 PM by SabresEdge

Charlie Stross's cheerful, optimistic predictions for 2017, part one of three.