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super gore fest melee combat:

I'm sorry to make two topics so fast, but I always wanted other people's opinion on this. its from nano wrimo last year.

For some reason there is an unspoken rule in my universe that if you happen to come into arm's reach, you have to get into melee combat. It's from a slightly older version of my current work that was going to be a stand alone in the middle of a big time gap between two chapters.

Lastly, the context might help. The team needed to target a vehicle group for an A10 to napalm it. It worked, but Jason's best bud Logan was shot and dying. So with no immediate transport Jason has to go inside the inferno to get a working jeep so they can rescue him in time. He then has flash backs to his home city burning as everything in there burns, and goes nuts. They are somewhere in Florida (took the war to earth after pushing the bad guys off mars).

If you have gory combat to, please share them. We should all analyze gory combat together (in general). It is a fascinating subject.

the passage:

Jason continued on with the carnage, taking it to another level. He quickly decapitated one man and killed another with a lethal strike to the chest with one swipe, pulled a pistol off one of their belts, and shot the only one not trying to run. With three left, he intentionally cut off oneís legs clean, and drove the blade straight through his back, piercing his heart. The next man he cut his hand clear off when he tried to shoot in one elegant stroke diagonally upwards, also mutilating his face with a huge gash. He reached his severed stump to his face, expecting his hand to be there to cover his face. Another strong strike downwards cut at his shoulder, but even this didnít kill him. It only made the screaming worse. Where before he was minutes before merely leaving huge slashes in his Ďvictimsí, he was now slicing them into pieces. Small chunks of flesh and blood flew, and sprinkled the air in a red mist, now that the immediate heat was gone out of the area, if at all relatively. Jason pulled out his machete, pulling it towards him, making the cut more painful than deeper. The man fell on his knees, and cursed in another language. He was about to die, but it was not enough until he laid dead. Jason brought it up again, and plummeting it down into the same shoulder. It went deeper, now breaking right through the collar bone, and into his ribs, crushing his lung and heart.

Jason saw as the dying manís mutilated and slashed face looked up at him. His left eye was completely destroyed, and his nose literally ripped open. His cheek had a long cut that almost went completely through. As the life faded from his left eye, Jason sharply pulled his blade out of him, and downwards, cutting in a curve, completely severing part of his torso and attached arm from the rest of his body.

Lovely, isn't it?

Anyone have any thoughts, and any of your own gory combat to share?

edited 25th Oct '11 11:45:24 PM by jasonwill2

as of the 2nd of Nov. has 6 weeks for a broken collar bone to heal and types 1 handed and slowly
 2 d Roy, Tue, 25th Oct '11 11:51:08 PM Relationship Status: Hounds of love are hunting
Lovely indeed. Only problem is that gun rounds are too powerful (unless you are using an anti-tank/air/material rifle, you probably can't shoot limbs off, then again, I'm not a gun expert) and the blades are too sharp (I mean, come on now, you know that you can't just hack limbs off like that). Is he superpowered or the blade special or both?

edited 25th Oct '11 11:53:02 PM by dRoy

[up]

the machete was a normal one. He is not magical, hes normal.

he just went into a homicidal rage and saw "only red" as it says at one point before the quote. that could be fire or blood or a metaphor, i forget which. probably all three.

but no, I just used rule of cool and went over the top for drama as the reader saw their hero give into his urges of revenge. considering that his home city burned to the ground and the fire he's in is creating flashbacks and the pressure to find a jeep in time to save his best friend really made him crack.

and a shotgun at close range can blast off limbs in real life, depending on ammo, gauge, and other things.

Do you have any scenes? i suspect you'd be the most likely out of everyone else. not that its a bad thing, on the contrary i would like to see it if so.

edit: the "slicing into pieces was not literal, he caused multiple lacerations on the guy with the missing hand at that part. He essentially made him suffer more before his body could catch up with all the damage, thats how he lived so long until mostly cut in half, and even then it took a few conscious seconds before his heart gave, as it and his head was still intact. But ya, I see what you mean with the cutting off of the legs earlier

edited 26th Oct '11 12:00:33 AM by jasonwill2

as of the 2nd of Nov. has 6 weeks for a broken collar bone to heal and types 1 handed and slowly
 4 d Roy, Wed, 26th Oct '11 12:08:27 AM Relationship Status: Hounds of love are hunting
Do you have any scenes? i suspect you'd be the most likely out of everyone else

What makes you think that?

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