Hi, I'm writing a Harry Potter fan fic at the moment, and I'm looking for someone to beta read my story, what I'm looking for in a beta reader, is someone who can point out plot holes, help me immerse the readers, and make sure my intended Crowning Moments, Tearjerkers Nightmare Fuel ect has the maximum amount of Emotional Torque
and doesn't end up being Narm
Also, I intend for this fic to be a World Of Bad Ass, so making sure my characters come across as genuine Bad Asses and not Mary Sues is Important
I've included a small bio of the story below
- Title: Harry Potter and the Mrymex Gate
- Genre: action, horror, drama, comedy and romance ( which I'll be the first to admit, is not my forte, but it's been my experience that the best way to torture a character, is to torture their loved ones, and I want the relationship to be properly developed to ensure maximum impact.)
- Time Frame: set during the events of book six
- Estimated Length: at least 12 chapters
- Main Characters: Harry, Sabyn and Exile (both OC's), Ginny, Reyn (OC and major antagonist) Mrymex (OC, Cosmic Horror, Eldritch Abomination and PRIMARY antagonist)
- Relevant Ships: predominantly Harry/Ginny with some Ron/Hermione
- Rating: MA 15+ for high level infrequent violence, high level infrequent coarse language, graphic torture, disturbing scenes and character death.
- Summary: Set during book six, Harry Potter and the Mrymex Gate centers around two teenagers from another world who find themselves unwittingly transported into the Harry Potter universe where their own style of magic (Menggarada spellcasting) is unable to function because the Corxanella from which they draw energy from doesn't exist in this new world. Soon after this discovery, they are contacted by an old woman named Minerva Mc Gonnagal who claims to be a teacher at a school of magic, and informs them that their names are on the school's list of potential students. The two boys realise that the list (which is enchanted to detect any magically gifted child in britain over the age of ten and add them to itself) must have detected their magical signature once they entered that world. Although suspicious and distrustful they are also practical enough to realise they have nowhere else to go and thus except the old ladies offer to attend hogwarts and learn this new style of magic. Upon arrival however, they are horrified to discover that their old nemesis from Darkor (the name of their home planet and the title of an original story of mine from which my OC's originated) a sociopathic child genius named Reyn, has followed them into this new world. With both sides deprived of their original power however, the situation is a stalemate. But Reyn isn't called a child prodigy for nothing, and it's only a matter of time before he regains his original level of mastery. Sabyn and Exiles only hope is to become skilled enough in combat magic to be able to kill him before that happens, but they are held back by the schools INSISTENCE in waiting untill fourth year to teach the students any useful combat spells. To overcome this, Sabyn recruits the help of Harry Potter (who has gained a reputation for being an awesome DADA teacher due to the success of the DA) to teach him combat magic, in return for Sabyn teaching Harry unarmed melee combat. But although Harry agrees, he has problems of his own, he is being plagued with increasingly more horrifying visions and it is impossible to tell if these are real or a product of madness. Because the OC's arrival in Harry's world has damaged the space time continuam creating a tear in the fabric of reality within the pocket dimension between the two vanishing cabinets, and lurking on the other side of this hole is a greater daemon, an indescribable horror that is a sentient embodiment of suffering. The daemon's attention has been drawn to Hogwarts and it begins to spread its influence though out the school, raping minds and distorting reality in horrible ways. But thats not the worst part, because the daemon itself is only an avatar of a much more powerful entity known only as "Mrymex", an Eldritch Abomination with the power of God that exists outside the very CONCEPT of existence. And Mrymex seems to have taken a special interest in a certain lightning scarred wizard.
edited 11th Oct '11 5:07:10 AM by Lunacorva