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Total posts: [11]
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Attempt at Uncanny Valley:

 1 Nick The Swing, Fri, 7th Oct '11 11:30:31 PM from Ya really wanna know? Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
BFS Enthusiast
How did I do? Just for information, Nebiros is one of those villains where you aren't sure if you are supposed to be laughing or if he is supposed to be terrifying you.

This is one of my big attempts at Uncanny Valley, so I was looking to see what the common reaction to him was.
Shadowed Philosopher
I would have to see an image to really get an idea. Really I don't think Uncanny Valley is best suited for text media; you might as well just write something as truly horrifying rather than try to exploit a brain-hack that is of vastly decreased utility in text.
Shinigan (Naruto fanfic)
 3 Nick The Swing, Sat, 8th Oct '11 12:22:47 AM from Ya really wanna know? Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
BFS Enthusiast
One of my friends is preparing a pic of Nebiros, based on that image description. I saw the lineart.

Given the book will be more like a Light Novel with a bunch of pictures and sketches attached, this will make forming images easier.
 4 USAF713, Sat, 8th Oct '11 12:28:09 AM from the United States
I changed accounts.
You can do Uncanny Valley in print media, but you can't really make it scary. You simply have to go for otherness.

I mean, not that I don't try my damnest to do it, too, but it's just not going to happen. It's near-on impossible to write a scary novel...
I am now known as Flyboy.
 5 Oh So Into Cats, Sat, 8th Oct '11 7:33:00 AM from The Sand Wastes Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
I was under the impression that Uncanny Valley had to be somewhat subtle — like, a smaller thing is "off, " but it makes a big impact.

Instead, the character described here just sounds like your run-of-the-mill humanoid monster.

edited 8th Oct '11 7:33:28 AM by OhSoIntoCats

"Beware of the wolves. They were raised by wolves."

Eidolonomics: ~60.4k/100,000 words
 6 Merlo, Sat, 8th Oct '11 10:17:06 AM from the masochist chamber
*hrrrrrk*
So is this supposed to be prose, or just notes for your character?

I would probably be unsettled by him in Real Life, but as a character I don't feel much.

It was alright until here.
He quotes internet memes and uses phrases from online, as if he cannot distinguish what's in reality from what's on a computer. He uses them completely wrong.
It's simultaneously hilarious and painfully unfunny.

edited 8th Oct '11 10:19:33 AM by Merlo

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am...
 7 Night, Sat, 8th Oct '11 12:54:53 PM from PSNS Intrepid Relationship Status: Drift compatible
Who you are does not matter.
With Merlo on the memes. (And Oh So Into Cats on the general nature of Uncanny Valley; it's subtle. Once someone's actively, purposefully behaving in a homicidal fashion it's no longer subtle.)

You cannot directly apply Uncanny Valley to the reader in text; you have to have other characters for it to affect and to react to it.

edited 8th Oct '11 12:56:03 PM by Night

"Let us look less to the sky to see what might fall; rather, let us look to each other...and rise."
 8 jasonwill 2, Sat, 8th Oct '11 5:07:29 PM from West Virginia
when i first read H.G. Well's War of the Worlds the way he described the Martians put them somewhere in the uncanny valley for me, so I say it can be done, but it's harder to make is scary as opposed to creepy/weird.

He also did it to me with The Island of Doctor Monroe with some of the animal/men when they wre being reverted back to animals.

Then again the former sucked SO much I never read any of his books again. It was like the Time Machine was his master piece, but after the anti-climax that pissed me off on War of the Worlds, The Island of Doctor Monroe put the nail in the coffin for me.

Sorry that was veering off topic

edited 8th Oct '11 5:08:09 PM by jasonwill2

as of the 2nd of Nov. has 6 weeks for a broken collar bone to heal and types 1 handed and slowly
 9 Nick The Swing, Sat, 8th Oct '11 7:06:40 PM from Ya really wanna know? Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
BFS Enthusiast
Its just character notes, and I have some random character quotes. I have made his first appearance in the book after some editing.

@ Merlo: The point of the memes thing is to be hilarious at a first glance, but then it turns a bit unnerving. As in, he themes his serial killings after his favorites. Is there a better way to show that he's a Psychopathic Manchild?

And, while I did forget to put it in there, Nebiros does not consider killing people "homicidal intention" or "murder". He thinks he's just playing with toys, and if a toy breaks, well, best find another.

edited 8th Oct '11 7:07:14 PM by NickTheSwing

 10 Merlo, Sat, 8th Oct '11 7:19:16 PM from the masochist chamber
*hrrrrrk*
The point of the memes thing is to be hilarious at a first glance, but then it turns a bit unnerving. As in, he themes his serial killings after his favorites. Is there a better way to show that he's a Psychopathic Manchild?

Well, it's hilarious in a narm, "I can't believe I'm reading this, it looks so unprofessional" way.

If you're going for manchild... I prefer subtle things over literally making him a walking baby. Probably things like not understanding certain concepts, or lacking adult behaviors/mindsets. Stuff like, a rational adult would probably understand that not everything centers around them, would have realistic expectations for events and other people, are not likely to adhere to certain mindsets, have a certain degree of pragmatism, etc.

edited 8th Oct '11 7:22:38 PM by Merlo

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am...
 11 Nick The Swing, Sat, 8th Oct '11 8:29:14 PM from Ya really wanna know? Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
BFS Enthusiast
Okay, then I will remove the meme part, and put in a behavior that:

1) He thinks the world revolves around himself. To him, He's The Hero, those government suits are walking exp for him. Replacing internet words is video game terminology.

2) When a plan does not work out the way he thought it would, he essentially throws a hissy fit or says someone is mean for not doing as he thought they would do.

3) He Averts pragmatic evil, as in, trying to be genre savvy when he sees his Dragon's son is expressing romantic interest in a girl working with the heroes, he kills the kid messily. He also uses You Have Failed Me way too much, often whining and complaining when he has to do the actual Serial Killer thing himself.
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Total posts: 11
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