A Game of Gods: Taskforce Sifuri

-Da Orks look at their blinking sensor, then at the trophy, then at the sensor, then back to the trophy, and are about to take this magnificent example of flash, worth a dozen ork's mouths in teef, when what is unmistakeably the opening challenge of a shouting contest. They hurry off the the source of the sound, as any contest holds the promise of a good scrap, which beats shiny loot anytime.-

'Urry, ya grots, we'ze gonna miss it!

-On finding their companions in misfortune, the orks are somewhat confused. The only member capable of bellowing out orders as good as any Warboss is nowhere to be seen.-

'Ere, 'oo wuz dat doin' da shoutin'?

Urza looked over at Sheik. Due to the warrior's natural tendency to go unnoticed when they wished, he had not until now recognized her among the crowd. He was pleased that someone else had recognized the importance of subtlety in this challenge and could only hope that the other members of the team were as reasonable. But it wouldn't do to let them think they could simply make requests of him. So he waited, dragging out the tension for a long moment while he appeared to consider the decision. Finally, he nodded reluctantly.

"I agree to your terms, save that of choosing only one representative. I propose that anyone who is capable should enter on both sides. I certainly intend to do so. That is my offer. Yes or no?"

Ratheln rubbed his beard. A martial arts tournament? He was out of luck. He was old, and had no proficiency with martial arts at all; deprived of his staff and spells, he was helpless in combat. It seemed that he could not help his team get the ship piece. Unless... An idea began to form in the mage's head.
He then noticed Crocker saying something about hunting faeries. Was that man mad? Hunting the faerie was a serious business, for they possessed formidable magic powers. Walking up to the crazy man, he leaned on his staff and stared at himץ

"Of course, he has to— uh, a penny!"

Crocker crouched again, barely dodging Jack's punch, and not even noticing it. He grinned as he looked at what he thought was a penny, but the grin turned into an angry frown as he noticed it was just a nail:

"Aw, darn! It's just another nail. Mother loves these, you k— does anyone smell something burning?"

He then looked now, and noticed his pants were on fire. He raised his finger, smiling:

"Allow me to be the first to say AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

He suddenly screamed, waving his hands around, and began to roll all over the ground. At one point he began to run into walls in the hope that the fire would be extinguished.

Kribnefka was headed over, Shantotto in tow, doing an excellent job of impersonating rage. He pointed to Crocker and looked at Jack.

"Young man, if that is your lunatic, I'd like to ask you either keep him on a leash or have him caged. He was terrifying my daughter."

Kane was watching Crocker now, mostly ignoring everyone else, though for a change, the large man's face wasn't twisted with rage or annoyance. He in fact seemed quite amused by watching the strange man in flames, chuckling heartily as the weirdo went flinging himself about.

"This place is still eerie, but I think I like it."

Jack could easily identify BS when he heard it, and knew that Kribnefka was faking the emotion, but decided to roll with just to have an excuse to finally put the hurt on Crocker. "Don't worry good sir, leave everything to me!" Jack said proudly, his voice sounding cheesy. The Chaser then grabbed Crocker by the back of his shirt, knelt down on one knee, plopped the fairy hunter over his leg and, using his mechanical right hand, started spanking Crocker to put out the flames.

"Bad. BAD. Boy!" Jack said, punctuating each word with a spank. He made sure he did not hit too hard to avoid sending him flying and/or killing him, and despite not feeling comfortable spanking another man, finally being able to lay a hit on Crocker more than made up for it.

Atrocitus, in the meanwhile, decided to ignore the shenanigans and head straight for the sign-up sheet, writing down his name

Meanwhile, Leanbow signed the following to the list:

Axl winced as Liberty Prime, subtle as always, decided to loudly announce his intentions. Sliding toward the Communist hunting robot disguised as a girl, he whispered, " Dude, shut up. "

He spoke so quietly that only Libery Prime could hear - even if the other group (who he had a sneaking suspicion was Team Magic) already knew who he was, it was best to keep up his cover just in case. Nevertheless, he was feeling pumped for the tournament, at least if things were going the way he thought they were going. He didn't let the simple matter that he preferred to use obscene amounts of lasers to solve conflicts get in the way of that.

He could imagine it now: him stepping into an arena containing hundreds, no, thousands of adoring fans, graciously bowing while they poured admiration on to him. In the other corner would be some no-name wimp who's butt he'd proceed to whoop seven ways to sunday. And the crowd would go wild! And he'd get an awesome title too, like Master "Red Lotus" Axl or something. It was all he could do not to zip into a tent and sign up immediately while Urza spoke to Sheik.

Sky held his morpher, now secured, while he kept an eye on Urza.

Hopefully he wouldn't need to morph into the SPD Blue Ranger.

Who knows if I have to fight or not?

Crocker simply screamed everytime Jack slapped him, holding his magic tracker on his head:

"GAH! I'm sorry mother, I didn't mean to look! GAH! I just couldn't sleep! GAH! I swear I'll never watch Saturday Night Live agaaaaaaaaaaain!"

Yuuno just watched. He didn't see the point in signing up; he wasn't a fighter after all.

Jack momentarily stopped with the spanking. "Now, you promise not to talk about fairies or go into a frenzy about fairies in public places, boy?" Jack asked Crocker, taking full advantage of the teacher's mental state.

Crocker was now sucking on his own thumb:

"Can I still use my magic tracker to track the fairy in disguise, mommy?"

"Yes you can," Jack said, "but no plucking hair, skin, or tissues samples from random people, and no more wild accusations when your tracker goes off, understood boy?"

edited 16th Apr '12 2:48:55 PM by UdtheImp

"I do, mommy, I do!"

He then resumed sucking his thumb and looking at his magic tracker.

From behind Team Magic, without knowing it was Team Magic, Sec shook his head and walked away. He had been attracted back due to Liberty Prime's voice.

"That's a good boy," Jack said. The Chaser then let go Crocker, now no longer on fire, and stood up, letting the teacher fall to the ground. Jack walked over Crocker and proceeded to the sign up sheet, writing his name down. He paused a bit on the topic of profession.

He thought for a moment........and then decided.

Jack wrote down......"government agent."

Kane walked up to the sign-up sheets, staring down at them for a moment, tilting his head, then picked up a pen. He stared at it for a second, then, with a look of apparent confusion, wrote down his name... Kane.

Then, as his occupation, he seemed to hesitate even longer, looking baffled, before, apparently out of nowhere, signing Knight.

He stared at that entry for a bit, then shook his head, apparently having even confused himself with that, and turned away, returning to watching Crocker.

Sam, who had been watching the preceeding events with confusion and a small amount of amusement, brightened up at the prospect of a fighting contest. "Where do I sign up for the contest?"

BUT-

Prime paused, and with some reluctance he lowered his voice module's volume considerably before speaking to Axl again.

BUT WE MUST ENGAGE THE COMMUNIST AGGRESSORS!

edited 16th Apr '12 9:14:25 PM by Vox

Ratheln pointed at the tents.
"I assume that the sign-up is there, good sir," he said.
He turned back to Crocker, and glared at him. The man's lack of self-control was appalling. And to think that that man hunted the faerie.
"Excuse me," he said, crouching by the teacher.

The teacher stared at Ratheln for a few minutes. He stared at him, he glared back, he stared at him, he glared back. After a few seconds, the teacher shrugged and continued to walk around the area, looking at his tracker:

"In a normal situation, that person over there would be very suspicious. But this is not normal, so, I'm totally OK with it!"

Sam thanked the man and head off in the direction of the tent. Arriving at the tent, he headed over to the sign up sheet and simply wrote 'Sam 034'.

Axl had been about to respond when an idea struck him. Adopting an exaggerated wise tone, the reploid said, " Well, here's the plan: I think those Communists are planning to sign up for the tournament, y'see? Why don't you sign up as well and beat them at their own game, demoralising them and leaving them shattered? You can think of it like... "

Axl's gaze wavered from the tents as he tried to recall what little historical information he could remember. " Like the Space Race! Yeah! However, you may want to be sneaky about using any of your powers, just in case the referees don't like it. After all, it'd be hard to defeat them if you were in jail, right? And anyway, that wouldn't be - "

C'mon, c'mon! Think!

" - the American way, would it? "

Bingo!

" Don't forget to maintain your disguise - you're on a top secret mission, and your ability to keep your cover might determine the fate of your nation! " continued Axl, capping off his haphazardly concocted explanation. " I'll show you how to sign up. "

With that, Axl darted into one of the tents. Making sure that Liberty Prime had followed, the disguised reploid was about to put pen to paper when he realised that he didn't have a fake name ready. He decided to go with a name nobody would know - that way, even if he became world famous the other group would be off the scent. With intense concentration, he wrote:

He decided that if anyone asked him about his profession, he could make it up on the fly. Returning his attention to Liberty Prime, he said, " Now come up with a good false identity - that means using another name entirely, okay? Preferably without 'Liberty' or 'Prime' in it. "

Axl stepped back to let the robot enter his own name, hovering over his shoulder to make sure the result was acceptable.