Don't tell her again. Simples.
Don't tell her again, because she isn't attracted to you. Try and move on; look for other girls and try to get in other relationships, and maybe even stop seeing this woman as much. Thinking so much about this one woman isn't doing you any favors; there are lots of girls out there just like her who would be happy to have you. She may be a wonderful person in her own right, but (and I know you might not want to hear this) she isn't special.
edited 17th Sep '11 5:45:30 PM by tropetown
Well, I do know that I'm not going to tell her.
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
I get what you're sayintg. You're right. I've told myself that, but I just can't shake it. I think my depression has a part in this suddenly overwhelming feeling. Before, I could handle it. Now I just feel like it's drivng me mad.
edited 17th Sep '11 5:56:12 PM by punkreader
I know what you mean here; again, the best advice I can give you is go find as many other women and relationships as you can. Chances are after that, while you might still care about her, she won't be the only thing on your mind.
Proud Canadian
Tell her.
If you don't like a single Frank Ocean song, you have no soul.
House Lewis: Sanity is Relative
That would only end badly, and would have serious, serious consequences for the friendship. Take it from someone who has been on both sides of the "One of us just wants to be friends, the other is in love" scenario. At the same time, to some extent. In the case where I was in love, our brief fling ended and we had a really complicated couple of years but have ended up as the best of friends.
In the other, I can only hope that's where it's ending up because one of my other close friends is in the same position as punkreader - badly depressed, in love with me, but we're both in long term relationships with other people and ultimately missed our chance with each other. (I asked her out more than once, the time wasn't right and she chose another guy over me. I think she's regretted that since). Incidentally, we also went a year without seeing each other, despite being in the same city. Didn't help anything much.
I know it's not what you want to hear, but tropetown's advice is sound here.
edited 17th Sep '11 7:07:21 PM by CaissasDeathAngel
My name is Addy. Please call me that instead of my username.
Proud Canadian
I've done it and it worked.
Granted twas through text.
edited 17th Sep '11 7:16:06 PM by Erock
If you don't like a single Frank Ocean song, you have no soul.
If it ended well, that was because the other person was attracted to you. Telling someone who isn't interested in you that you're in love with them is just going to make things awkward.
Proud Canadian
No, we just didn't talk for awhile. We're better friends after then before.
If you don't like a single Frank Ocean song, you have no soul.
Are you still into her, or have you gotten over it to some degree?
Proud Canadian
The latter. A lot earlier then I expected.
If you don't like a single Frank Ocean song, you have no soul.
Lead.
Oh, someone in a similar situation to me, like, really, really similar. Okay, here's how I resolved it, I went ahead and let it go because I realized a lot of what I appreciated about that one girl was, well, she'd lose those qualities if I started dating her.
I know that sounds unusual, but sometimes you've got to step back and realize whether or not you're in love with that person or just in love with the good qualities in her. See, part of what makes a relationship work is that you accept both the good sides and bad sides of her, the latter of which you really don't see unless you spend enough time with her, more than just if you were simply friends with her.
Now, that isn't to say you should shirk her, but you can still appreciate her and be loyal to and such, but it never hurts to stop for a moment and figure out what exactly you love about her.
The emotions of others can seem like such well guarded mysteries, people 8egin to 8elieve that's how their own emotions should 8e treated.
Pro-Freedom Fanatic
The best way to forget a particular person is to screw Anything That Moves for a while, until you get over it. A string of casual shags usually helps people get over their crushes and obsessions.
You exist because we allow it and you will end because we demand it.
Night Clerk of the Apacalypse.
They can also lead to new problems. Humping everything you can is not exactly the best solution for most folks. I can see it working for some folks though.
Try hanging out with some new people. Try finding something to keep you a bit busy.
A bit of patience and time can also help immensly.
Who watches the watchmen?
Oh, well, good for you then. It's not advice I would give in most cases, but if it worked for you, great.
Lead.
Yeah, I don't think random sexings would do much for many people, replacing what you feel was love with something as shallow as that tends to cause problems. It's better to confront this sort of stuff directly instead of trying to replace it, otherwise you might grow dependent on habits that aren't exactly beneficial.
The emotions of others can seem like such well guarded mysteries, people 8egin to 8elieve that's how their own emotions should 8e treated.
I changed accounts.
Unfortunately, Savage, some of us have standards and like to actually know someone before doing things of a romantic/sexual nature. 
Actually, sleeping with a lot of attractive women can do wonders for you in that regard. It would be one thing if the two of you had a relationship, but since this is a girl you haven't even kissed, let alone slept with, this would actually help you quite a bit. Just make sure you aren't actually going for Anything That Moves; you want to keep your self-respect, after all.
edited 17th Sep '11 9:06:32 PM by tropetown
But of course. Why didn't I think of that.
edited 18th Sep '11 7:20:32 AM by AnEditor
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.
"Savage, some of us have standards and like to actually know someone before doing things of a romantic/sexual nature."
Quit being condescending. If your goal is strictly sex, not getting to know someone before sealing the deal is really not a reflection of how high or low one's standards are.
And better than thy stroke; why swellest thou then?
@OP: Just let her go.
The Mod with the Migraine
@ OP: Find the piece of your heart most wrapped up in her. Then cut it out. Highly painful, but also successful.
That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw
Dear OP,
Yes, the thread is already cold, but I'll throw in my 2 cents nevertheless:
Attraction to another person is always selfish, necessarily. It's not that selfish of you to wish for someone you love to reciprocate your feelings. There's no reason why you should feel guilty.
You are valuing yourself too low if all your considerations are dominated by the fear of "destroying the friendship".
Sometimes a friendship will not survive a crisis. The reason is frequently that it's not such a good friendship, and the crisis (whatever it is) just exposes the fact that the friendship has already expired. On the other hand, there is hardly a long-term friendship that never goes through a crisis (or several crises).
You mentioned that you suffer from depression. Speaking from experience, I think that rarely ever will someone come out of a depression without going through major social conflicts with his/her social environment. In other words, I assume if everything in your environment and network of friendships would be okay, you would not be, or never have become, depressive.
If a friendship can only exist so as long as you deny an important part of yourself — and your feelings are such an important part — then it's not a good friendship. Rather, it's a destructive and essentially parasitic friendship. And if that is the case, it does not deserve the thought, consideration and emotional investment you are obviously putting in that friendship.
So I don't know whether you should 'tell her' or not, but you should take yourself and your feelings serious. The way you describe the situation, 'she' is not all that great a friend. A true friend likes you without the unspoken condition that you do and leave only what she/he wants you to do or not do. If you have a "best friend" whom you can't show your true colors and talk your mind over, then what kind of "best friend" is that?*
So I'd see three options for you: a) Talk to her and risk the end of friendship, b) put less emphasis on this friendship (most of all, stop thinking of it as a "best friendship"), and instead look out for people that take you for what and who you are. Or c) do both.
edited 28th Sep '11 1:49:48 AM by LordGro
Let's just say and leave it at that.
Is that cake frosting?
Just wait it out. It will pass.
But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.
Cleaning out my room today, I found a small thank-you card from my best friend, dated three years ago. And reading it over made me realize that I've had a crush on her for three years, in December.
I don't think it's a crush anymore.
I did tell her how I felt (not...in the best way), and she said very gently that she's not interested in me that way. She is exclusively into other women, though. At first I took it hard, but quickly realized how much the friendship meant and still means to me. I still basically devoted myself to her since, and she knows. I want her to be happy, and I'm not jealous of anyone she's with, but every time I think about her...I get this feeling of, for lack of a more precise term, love. Complete and utter affection and loyalty.
Going through severe depression, and in a different state, I haven't seen her in over a year, although we talk constantly. I miss her more than I ever have, and the feelings ... are definitely there. I want to tell her how I feel (again) so badly, but I know it wouldn't end well, and it would be selfish of me to expect her to reciprocate...
What do I do...?