Crowning moments in your writing:

Total posts: [69]
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Gay bacon strips
[up] That is a good idea. We can do it. In fact, I'll edit my first post for this.

@nrjxll, Please stop twisting my intentions. I never meant for this to be about, "herp derp I write the best," or anything like that.
27 dRoy5th Sep 2011 05:04:44 AM from The Happy Place , Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Perpetually clueless
[up] You can't blame him; this would have turned to that direction soon enough.
Mother of god...You turned one of the hardest and best Champions into an absolute joke. - Zelenal
28 Night5th Sep 2011 05:10:38 AM from Jaburo , Relationship Status: Drift compatible
The future of warfare in UC.
Sure we can blame him. It hadn't gone there yet, his comment was premature.

However in general I think it's more or less futile to try and judge these in your own works.

Nous restons ici.
29 nrjxll5th Sep 2011 02:10:39 PM , Relationship Status: Not war
I would argue that it went down that way from the moment someone first posted what they considered a crowning moment from their work. Ego-stroking doesn't have to involve saying "herp derp I can write the best" to be ego-stroking.

The thread is now going down a more constructive path, so there's not much point in going back and forth over this. I just wanted to get my position across first.
30 ConnorBible5th Sep 2011 04:42:41 PM from Port Royal, SC
Southern Style Scribe
In my WIP Redesigning Eva, I had this idea that the psychological wear and tear would reach a boiling point for poor Eva. The result is unpleasant and depressing, to say the least.
31 KyleJacobs5th Sep 2011 09:25:21 PM from DC - Southern efficiency, Northern charm , Relationship Status: One True Dodecahedron
I'll edit mine for context.
32 NickTheSwing6th Sep 2011 10:05:48 PM from Ya really wanna know? , Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
33 BearyScary11th Sep 2011 08:05:23 PM , Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
I can't think of any. Even if I did, I refuse to give myself the satisfaction.
34 Lunacorva15th Feb 2012 07:17:44 PM , Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Are you allowed to include upcoming scenes that you haven't written yet?
Rainbows hurt.
[up] Go for it.
(屮≖益≖)屮 彡 ┻━┻ F*ck yo' table; Go read my book! —>
36 Lunacorva15th Feb 2012 10:28:31 PM , Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Okay, how do you get that text box effect?

EDIT: Wait, dont worry, I worked it out

edited 16th Feb '12 2:15:36 AM by Lunacorva

37 Lunacorva16th Feb 2012 02:33:05 AM , Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Okay well this is a Crowning Moment of Funny I have planned for my Harry Potter fan fic: Harry Potter and the Mrymex Gate.

Context: the first encounter between Sabyn (Male OC) and Voldemort

Note: Sabyn is pronounced Sa-bihn ("Bihn" rhymes with "line")

"You know," Sabyn sneered "I almost feel sorry for you. Because the fact is that you'll never be able to beat me."

Voldemort's nostrils flared as his face briefly contorted with fury. Then the look was gone, replaced with a patronising smile.

"Bold words Mudblood. Very bold, very foolish words. Do you truly believe that you stand even the slightest chance against a sorceror as powerful as I?"

Sabyn replied with a cocky grin

"Oh you're tough I'll grant you that, but you'll never be able to kill me."

Voldemort chuckled

"Reeeeaaaally? Well please, enlighten me. What is it that gives you such delusions of grandeur?"

Sabyn smiled mysteriously.

"You can not kill me. For I... AM A TOMATO!!!!!

Silence fell.


edited 16th Feb '12 2:38:31 AM by Lunacorva

In the spirit of pay-it-forward, a brief critique of the above!

Really random, was my first impression. I mean, this Sabyn fellow clearly has at least a mouth, so he can sneer, grin, etc... I'm wondering in what sense he actually is a tomato. The non-sequitur kind of reminds of Yugioh The Abridged Series for some reason.

And now, my own submission.

This is more a "crowning moment of confusion" than anything. I thought it worth submitting because it's by far the most difficult text I've ever written. I estimate it took about six hours of repetitive trial-and-error to write this approximately 400-word portion, just because everything had to be lined up so precisely.

Context: It's from a Pokemon fanfic entitled "Ash's Return", but there's not really much about Pokemon in this excerpt. The left column represents Misty and the right column represents Brock. Misty gets stuck in a reverse-time-stream due to some teleportation shenanigans.

edited 16th Feb '12 4:28:12 AM by Rvb39

[up][up]Overly literal interpretation of Tomato Surprise?
40 Lunacorva16th Feb 2012 04:35:07 AM , Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Misunderstanding here, Sabyn is NOT actually a tomato, he just SAID he was in order to break the dark lords brain, hence Voldemort's dumbfounded expression.
41 chihuahua016th Feb 2012 04:42:25 AM from Standoff, USA , Relationship Status: I LOVE THIS DOCTOR!
Writer's Welcome Wagon
You made me laugh with that line. [lol]

It reminds me of " a banana!"

42 Lunacorva16th Feb 2012 04:54:30 AM , Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Personally, It's not so much the line itself that I like so much as Voldemort's reaction
43 DrFurball17th Feb 2012 02:04:11 PM from The House of the Rising Sun , Relationship Status: Tongue-tied
Two-bit blockhead
I'll admit, I thought the first three panels of my Christmas Carol parody was a pretty funny gag.
44 NickTheSwing17th Feb 2012 10:08:41 PM from Ya really wanna know? , Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
Swing, not Slide
  • Matthew is basically outmatched by an Ice Magic user who first froze whole police cars down to their occupants just to get a thrill on killing "stupid, weak defenders." The Ice Guy is one of my creepiest antagonists to date, doing everything from chewing on Matthew's ear while telling him, "I will kill your loved ones, your friends, your pets, your property, I will kill you...until you're just a horror story recording my actions", all the way to near fatally freezing one of Matthew's few normal friends just for the heck of it and then freezing Matthew immediately after giving him a hope spot of rescuing his friend and thus ensuring the guy dies. Big Mistake. While in ice, Matthew learns the Aura Rave spell that melts all the ice and then One-Hit Kill's said Ice Magic User.

  • Earlier, there is Matthew fighting three magic users who have had considerably more training than him, or so we think.

  • Matthew easily defeating Sangou and Kasuga, who had given him trouble. "I'll give you guys to a count of three to leave. One..." They charge him, and he blocks every single attack thrown at him, and only attacks when he counts to three, utterly defeating both Sangou and Kasuga. Keep in mind, a few days ago, Matthew had trouble against them.

  • Shuuji is no slouch either. Medraut learned the hard way just because someone starts out as goofy, incompetent Black Comedy comic relief, does not mean he'll stay that way.

  • Sorata, at low power, defeating a big, ugly as sin demon with a Gurren Lagann style drill punch.

  • Sorata, again, dealing with a misogynist villain who really could not have picked a worse target.

  • Nebiros, the Big Bad, gets a minor one when he is confronted by the biggest guy in prison, and he asks, unafraid of the possibilities, "You want out?" Guy responds, "No, I like being fucking imprisoned, what're you gonna do about it, ya loon?" Nebiros snaps his fingers, blasting a giant hole through the prison. "That. And more. Oh, so much more. Tell every person here they can serve me and kill the old order, or remain, prisoners of a dying system!" He proceeds to march out of the prison in grand fashion with an army.

edited 17th Feb '12 10:10:34 PM by NickTheSwing

45 CJCroen13933rd Mar 2012 10:30:39 PM from The Western Interior Seaway , Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
I am One with the Wind and Sky
My favorite moment from my unpublished graphic novel Sins Vs Virtues would be Envy's Heel–Face Turn during the final battle (you may see some Teen Titans influence in here):

[Hex tries to keep fighting only to be blocked by Kindness, trying and failing adorably to look threatening]

Hex: Ha! You? Heheh...this will be cake! [prepares to snap fingers]

Kindness: Oh I'm not planning on fighting you. [bows respectfully] Thank you, though.

Hex: Huh?

Kindness: I just decided to seek help from a friend. Come on out Norbert.

[Envy steps out of the shadows, grinning evilly at Hex]

Hex: ENVY!? Y-you're with her!? YOU TRAITOR!

Kindness: I have to go find my boyfriend now! See ya big bro! [high fives Envy and leaves Hex staring at Envy in shock]

Envy: [shrugs] Nothing personal. [unceremoniously shoots Hex in the head] I lied. It's very personal. [hears gunfire in the background, smirks and runs off to join Diligence as she fires at Pride's mooks]

Diligence: What are you doing here?

Envy: Wrath's dead and the other sins treat me like crap. There's really nothing keeping me on their side anymore.

Greed: [to Pride, sitting on his throne] Hey, Pride. It seems Envy has finally decided to show up.


Envy: [shoots him, just barely missing him] I am fighting the enemy.

I'm also partial to this:

Diligence: [after shooting a mook in the head] Am I crazy or is this getting easier?

Sue Perbia: You brats are not going to win agains-[gets hit by Temperance and Patience]

Diligence: See what I mean?

[Sue is sent flying into a giant water container. She looks up at the others, snarling in sheer fury, only for three gunshots to fire off panel. She looks up to see the water container gain several steadily growing cracks. The cracks get wider and water pours on top of her, washing her away; cuts to Envy, smirking as he points his gun at the water container]

Envy: [sarcastically] Oops. Did I do that?

edited 3rd Mar '12 10:46:08 PM by CJCroen1393

46 LastHussar4th Mar 2012 03:24:45 AM from the place is here.
The time is now,
I understand the whole 'who is the author to say what is a CM, debate, but my friend who I use as a sounding board told me this was a C Mo Heartwarming/Cute (she didn't use those words, not being a troper).

List of Characters here, but briefly Lucy has blindfolded Gabriel as they drove back from their first weekend away, where they finally did what they didn't do 25 years ago, and driven him to a surprise meeting.

I take it we’re here? Is this the surprise?”

“Six, actually. Don’t move, I’ll help you get out, and don’t even think of trying to peek!” She leant over and kissed him gently. “Promise?”

“For you? Of course!”

She climbed out of the car, closing the door. Suddenly Gabriel felt even more vulnerable, more alone. She seemed to be taking a hell of a time. Then there was the ‘click’ of his door opening. He felt for the seatbelt release, and he swung his legs out the car. As he lent forward, Gabriel felt a hand on his head.

“Careful, dear.” Lucy whispered, as she helped guide him to a standing position, standing close to his left side. She took his left hand. “Take a step forward, it’s clear.”

He heard the car door close, and then felt a presence on his right. Someone kissed him on the cheek, and someone different kissed him on the left cheek, then a third kiss, again on the right. There was a pause, and then a pair of small hands went past his ears, and held the back of his neck, their owner kissing his nose. He reached forward, and took the weight of the child onto his hip and right arm from whoever was holding her, and kissed back. “Hello Lottie!” he beamed.

Lottie giggled. “How did you know it was me, Unky?”

“Because you always give the best kisses.” He put his mouth next to Lottie’s ear. “Which one was mummy?” He whispered conspiratorially.

“The third one. Auntie Charlie was the second,” Lottie whispered a little too loudly to be private.

“Ooo, Charlotte Gibson, you little tell-tale,” laughed Charlie’s voice.

“Was Betty the first one then?” he stage whispered, loud enough for the others to catch his voice.

“Yes. She’s been excited all day, knowing you were coming.”

“Charlotte!” That was Betty, no doubt mortified at having her teen-coolness questioned.

“I didn’t know I was coming! I didn’t bring any presents. Sorry”

“Don’t worry Unky. Mummy told me what was happening. You’ve brought a new girlfriend instead.” Lottie’s happy whispers still not as private as she thought they were, even though two people had scolded her. He laughed, and felt Lucy’s hand squeeze his in embarrassment.

“Do you like her?”

“She’s very pretty. Do you love her?” He heard laughter at the impertinent question delivered in such a serious whisper.

“More than she can ever know. I think she’s too pretty for me.” Again Lucy’s hand tightened in his, and this time he squeezed back.

Lottie leaned back and took the blindfold off, so she could look into his eyes. Her eight year old face was serious. “I think she likes what’s on the inside, Unky.”

edited 4th Mar '12 3:38:57 AM by LastHussar

Do the job in front of you.
47 MrAHR4th Mar 2012 11:16:35 AM from ಠ_ಠ , Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
I never crowned any characters :D
Diagonalizing The Matrix
Well, then, I take it that for this thread to have any sort of positive purpose we need to step up and be critical of what people consider the best part of their writing. Hurray, not awkward at all...


Okay, two points off the top of my head.

  1. The premise is a big, silly gimmick. It completely overshadows any bit of artistic effort you might have put into the characters or setting. That kind of thing can work fine with tongue firmly in cheek, mind you, but it's a problem when you're trying for something more serious.
  2. When everything's a punchline, nothing is a punchline. It's okay to have a character drop off a cheeky one-liner every once in a while, but when every line is some character trying very hard to say something concise, cool and clever there's little room left for emotion or personality.

Pretentious quote || In-joke from fandom you've never heard of || Shameless self-promotion || Something weird you'll habituate to
49 CJCroen13934th Mar 2012 12:36:49 PM from The Western Interior Seaway , Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
I am One with the Wind and Sky

If that's directed at me;

1. It's still a work in progress. I haven't started as a professional writer yet, and I'm still a long way from that. I have like five works that I'm thinking up and it's hard to keep track of just one. Additionally, the "silly gimmick" thing sounds a lot like an assumption because I never said anything about the actual plot. To be fair though, it's supposed to start out rather humorous, but it's supposed to get darker too, for example;
  • Kindness is held as a POW by the Sins, who proceed to put her through rigorous Cold-Blooded Torture.
  • Puck, one of Humility's friends, becomes a Double Agent after Pride tells him that he could help him obtain Chastity's love and is torn as to what side he's truly loyal to.
  • The Sins (with the exceptions of Envy and Greed) suffer gruesome Karmic Deaths (yeah, spoiler, but it's probably not going to be published anytime soon, so...), etc, etc. I won't make it full-on True Art Is Angsty though.

2. You don't have to worry about this one. It's mostly just those lines of dialogue and possibly some others. Remember, these are just snippets, I'm not trying to make every line that comes out of my characters' mouths sound like cheesy one-liners (heck, I'd sooner jump head-first into a tar pit before I did that...That didn't sound hypocritical, did it?). Additionally, not all of those lines were one-liners (mostly just "I am fighting the enemy", "see what I mean" and "oops, did I do that?", really). For example, the "It's very personal" line is supposed to be taken seriously, with Envy having a "You don't know how long I've been wanting to do that to you" expression on his face and tone in his voice and everything.

edited 4th Mar '12 12:57:51 PM by CJCroen1393

50 Collen4th Mar 2012 01:27:24 PM from it is a mystery
the cutest lizard
My main worry is that it has too much Black and White Morality, from what I've seen in those excerpts and from the description on the work's page.
Gave them our reactions, our explosions, all that was ours
For graphs of passion and charts of stars...

Total posts: 69
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