Crowning moments in your writing:
edited 16th Feb '12 2:15:36 AM by Lunacorva
edited 16th Feb '12 2:38:31 AM by Lunacorva
edited 16th Feb '12 4:28:12 AM by Rvb39
- Matthew is basically outmatched by an Ice Magic user who first froze whole police cars down to their occupants just to get a thrill on killing "stupid, weak defenders." The Ice Guy is one of my creepiest antagonists to date, doing everything from chewing on Matthew's ear while telling him, "I will kill your loved ones, your friends, your pets, your property, I will kill you...until you're just a horror story recording my actions", all the way to near fatally freezing one of Matthew's few normal friends just for the heck of it and then freezing Matthew immediately after giving him a hope spot of rescuing his friend and thus ensuring the guy dies. Big Mistake. While in ice, Matthew learns the Aura Rave spell that melts all the ice and then One-Hit Kill's said Ice Magic User.
- Earlier, there is Matthew fighting three magic users who have had considerably more training than him, or so we think.
- Matthew easily defeating Sangou and Kasuga, who had given him trouble. "I'll give you guys to a count of three to leave. One..." They charge him, and he blocks every single attack thrown at him, and only attacks when he counts to three, utterly defeating both Sangou and Kasuga. Keep in mind, a few days ago, Matthew had trouble against them.
- Shuuji is no slouch either. Medraut learned the hard way just because someone starts out as goofy, incompetent Black Comedy comic relief, does not mean he'll stay that way.
- Sorata, at low power, defeating a big, ugly as sin demon with a Gurren Lagann style drill punch.
- Sorata, again, dealing with a misogynist villain who really could not have picked a worse target.
- Nebiros, the Big Bad, gets a minor one when he is confronted by the biggest guy in prison, and he asks, unafraid of the possibilities, "You want out?" Guy responds, "No, I like being fucking imprisoned, what're you gonna do about it, ya loon?" Nebiros snaps his fingers, blasting a giant hole through the prison. "That. And more. Oh, so much more. Tell every person here they can serve me and kill the old order, or remain, prisoners of a dying system!" He proceeds to march out of the prison in grand fashion with an army.
edited 17th Feb '12 10:10:34 PM by NickTheSwing
edited 3rd Mar '12 10:46:08 PM by CJCroen1393
edited 4th Mar '12 3:38:57 AM by LastHussar
- The premise is a big, silly gimmick. It completely overshadows any bit of artistic effort you might have put into the characters or setting. That kind of thing can work fine with tongue firmly in cheek, mind you, but it's a problem when you're trying for something more serious.
- When everything's a punchline, nothing is a punchline. It's okay to have a character drop off a cheeky one-liner every once in a while, but when every line is some character trying very hard to say something concise, cool and clever there's little room left for emotion or personality.
- Kindness is held as a POW by the Sins, who proceed to put her through rigorous Cold-Blooded Torture.
- Puck, one of Humility's friends, becomes a Double Agent after Pride tells him that he could help him obtain Chastity's love and is torn as to what side he's truly loyal to.
- The Sins (with the exceptions of Envy and Greed) suffer gruesome Karmic Deaths (yeah, spoiler, but it's probably not going to be published anytime soon, so...), etc, etc. I won't make it full-on True Art Is Angsty though.
edited 4th Mar '12 12:57:51 PM by CJCroen1393