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AnthonyMercer Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: I-It's not like I like you, or anything!
#1: Aug 15th 2011 at 2:12:18 PM

If a character is going to discover they aren't straight, what ages could this realistically happen at? Also, would the age generally be different depending on whether the character is gay or bi?

Educomix: "Good. I'll make toast."
chihuahua0 Since: Jul, 2010
#2: Aug 15th 2011 at 2:17:10 PM

I think that a person can realize their orientation the moment their sexuality awakens. That means they can see they're in or out of the closet from age 11. Of course, they can deny it, or nuture can affect them, to the point that they don't realize their orientation until later.

Haldo Indecisive pumpkin from Never never land Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Coming soon to theaters
Indecisive pumpkin
#3: Aug 15th 2011 at 2:53:39 PM

It usually happens at either one of these points:

1. They know it since they're 5, but can't place a word on it 'till they're 11 or so

2. They suddenly find out around puberty (so, 10-13)

And bisexuals can stay in denial about it for longer than gays can, generally speaking.

‽‽‽‽ ^These are interrobangs. Love them. Learn them. Use them.
JHM Apparition in the Woods from Niemandswasser Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Hounds of love are hunting
lee4hmz 486-powered rotating frosted cherry Pop-Tart from A shipwreck in the tidal Potomac (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: Chocolate!
486-powered rotating frosted cherry Pop-Tart
#5: Aug 15th 2011 at 2:55:57 PM

In my case, I got crushes mostly on boys until I hit puberty, then I really liked girls and was kind of closeted about guys. Now it's more like "Yeah, I've been with a guy before and I liked it, but I prefer women".

online since 1993 | huge retrocomputing and TV nerd | lee4hmz.info (under construction) | heapershangout.com
AXavierB Since: Jan, 2001
#6: Aug 15th 2011 at 4:22:15 PM

I had homosexual inclinations since early childhood, but I didn't really pay them any mind until around 11 or 12, at which point I was in denial about it until 14.

MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#7: Aug 15th 2011 at 5:29:22 PM

Not big on orientation, but I had a fetish awakening.

I always knew I felt guilty for liking something a little too much. It wasn't until 14-15 did I realize "oh, I have a fetish."

Read my stories!
Haldo Indecisive pumpkin from Never never land Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Coming soon to theaters
Indecisive pumpkin
#8: Aug 15th 2011 at 6:09:50 PM

I had crushes on girls going way back, but I didn't realize those funny feelings were crushes 'till puberty.

‽‽‽‽ ^These are interrobangs. Love them. Learn them. Use them.
Night The future of warfare in UC. from Jaburo Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
The future of warfare in UC.
#9: Aug 15th 2011 at 7:59:40 PM

Whatever age you damn well feel like past 11, realistically. The human capacity for denial is not to be underestimated.

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FreezairForALimitedTime Responsible adult from Planet Claire Since: Jan, 2001
Responsible adult
#10: Aug 15th 2011 at 8:12:33 PM

Much like AHR, I had a fetish awakening. I knew when I was a kid I liked [REDACTED] and enjoyed [REDACTING] things like stuffed animals in mock [REDACTED] things; it wasn't until I was older I realized "Oh hey, I think they call that [CENSORED]!" Which was around fourteen, IIRC.

"Proto-Indo-European makes the damnedest words related. It's great. It's the Kevin Bacon of etymology." ~Madrugada
joeyjojo Happy New Year! from South Sydney: go the bunnies! Since: Jan, 2001
Happy New Year!
#11: Aug 16th 2011 at 3:28:53 AM

this is a pretty controversial area of psychology actually, teen years are a probably the closest thing to a 'safe bet'. it's obviously is going to vary a lot depening on the person.

I've have always wanted to see a coming out story about a middle aged women being disowned her by her teenage daughter for being a lesbian.

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AnthonyMercer Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: I-It's not like I like you, or anything!
#12: Aug 16th 2011 at 3:29:05 PM

Thanks for all the replies! I've pretty much decided on the ages of the characters now, but feel free to throw in more suggestions!

Educomix: "Good. I'll make toast."
Vyctorian ◥▶◀◤ from Domhain Sceal Since: Mar, 2011
◥▶◀◤
#13: Aug 17th 2011 at 9:10:19 PM

My first bi-sexual desires came around age 12, but due to religious up bringing I remained in denial about them until I was almost 17.

It is not uncommon for the coming out to happen in college and for a person to be in denial all of high-school though.

On topic for my character my gay romance protagonist didn't even realize he was bi-sexual-gay until he meet his future boyfriend before that he was a chaste straight (virgin). He was 21 at discovery.

and the Anti-Hero in my current Novel is Asexual and he has known this since pretty much his whole life, as he never had the desire to form romantic or sexual relationships with anyone even during his hormonal teenage years.

[up][up] Damn it don't give me ideas. tongue

edited 17th Aug '11 9:16:06 PM by Vyctorian

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jasonwill2 True art is Angsty from West Virginia Since: Mar, 2011
#14: Aug 17th 2011 at 9:35:53 PM

huh. i thought more people would of not found out until their 20's or 30's because of socitical pressures, now that in many parts being gay or bisexual is ok now, that some ppl might of been willing to admit it

as of the 2nd of Nov. has 6 weeks for a broken collar bone to heal and types 1 handed and slowly
MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#15: Aug 18th 2011 at 8:18:13 AM

At the same time, College tends to make a lot of straight people claim they are, in fact, bisexual.

Read my stories!
nrjxll Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Not war
#16: Aug 18th 2011 at 10:45:35 PM

At the same time, College tends to make a lot of straight people claim they are, in fact, bisexual.

Um... what?

MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#17: Aug 19th 2011 at 6:21:39 AM

It's a fad thing. People who are straight claim they are not straight, but bi, when they are not.

Here we go.

edited 19th Aug '11 6:22:14 AM by MrAHR

Read my stories!
Peter34 Since: Sep, 2012
#18: Aug 23rd 2011 at 10:19:09 AM

I think it is well worth contemplating the reasons why Lesbian-Until-Graduation exists. If one is able to.

Likewise, (try to) contemplate why the male version of that is so extremely rarer than the female one.

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