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Dark Humour: Making Light Of Other's Problems, Or Healthy Cold Shower?

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GoodGuyGreg Silence Is Golden from Berlin Since: Jun, 2011
Silence Is Golden
#1: Aug 11th 2011 at 4:24:55 PM

Throughout one's life, there's a high chance of meeting misfortunes and problems. Not jut "First World Problems", but actual genuine horrible stuff. Massed killings. Rapes. Genocides. Diseases and medical conditions.

Some people let that admittedly bad stuff get to them. I think they shouldn't. What does that bring them? Solace? Healing? Wallowing and misery and self-pity isn't always a choice. It can be a matter of character or upbringing. One may react differently to different kinds of problems, sometimes with a logic that is not understandable at first glance (but "there is always a logic": at least that's one of my mottoes). But my point isn't "those who don't throw the pain away are knowingly and deliberately seeking the sick warmth of the role of the martyr". It's "one should try, not to ignore the pain, but to give it its place, take things into perspective".

There are many ways to do that. Some religions go the "vale of tears" route: whatever happens to you in this life is irrelevant, it's only a brief dream compred to the eternal afterlife, and your strength is being put to the test, you must prove yourelf worthy, and not fall. Monotheisms, Buddhism... Other religions and philosopies are fatalistic/naturalistic: "that's just the way things are, so stop worrying and love the X". I'm from those called "cynical bastards", I crack jokes. For some reason, this "making light of (others') problems" is more offensive than the others, which to me seem to amount to the same.

Not only that, but I hope for a future where people have outgrown this sort of suffering, and are able to overcome much more painful tests than us, much more easily, and thus to enjoy life at the fullest. And i think humour, in its destructive essence, is key in this project. This hurts the sensitivities of some. That such sensitivities remain, that a mere joke can hurt, even by accident... is the whole reason I endorse this project. The project of a mentally weathered and toughened humanity, one that, when life gives it lemons, burns life's house down. With lemons.

The Quiet One. No OTT. No unfunny. No squick. No crusades. Harmless and clean.
pagad Sneering Imperialist from perfidious Albion Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Sneering Imperialist
#2: Aug 11th 2011 at 4:26:29 PM

I've always believed that a bad thing is much diminished if you are able to laugh at it.

With cannon shot and gun blast smash the alien. With laser beam and searing plasma scatter the alien to the stars.
thatguythere47 Since: Jul, 2010
#3: Aug 11th 2011 at 4:37:35 PM

When my step-dad died we joked about it for months, felt better then crying at least.

Is using "Julian Assange is a Hillary butt plug" an acceptable signature quote?
Sivartis Captionless One from Lubberland, or the Isle of Lazye Since: Apr, 2009
Captionless One
#4: Aug 11th 2011 at 5:06:59 PM

This is pretty much the reason why Mel Brooks puts Hitler in so many of his movies.

♭What.
LoniJay from Australia Since: Dec, 2009 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
#5: Aug 11th 2011 at 5:09:27 PM

I suppose it really depends on whether or not you're joking about your own pain or a pain that you are deeply involved with, or the pain of strangers.

Laughing at your own problems is one thing - if it helps you deal with life, go for it, that's your choice. But other people might prefer dealing with their pain in a different way, so jumping in and making jokes about their problems seems very rude to me.

Be not afraid...
GoodGuyGreg Silence Is Golden from Berlin Since: Jun, 2011
Silence Is Golden
#6: Aug 11th 2011 at 5:13:03 PM

Point taken. However, back when ED still existed, I felt so... cathartic, everytine I read about the social groups I belong to there, as well as those of my enemies. Once you got used to it, in a Seen It All way, you become virtually undisturbable.

The Quiet One. No OTT. No unfunny. No squick. No crusades. Harmless and clean.
Barkey Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#7: Aug 11th 2011 at 7:24:16 PM

I was talking to a friend who wants to join the Army about this last night..

When I went on my first deployment, people explained that there's two varieties of people, people who take everything really seriously, and people who use humor to make light of horrible things they are exposed to. The general consensus was that the people who take everything seriously all the time are the people who get really bad PTSD, the people who crack and eventually break from the stress, and end up with lifelong problems. The people with humor? They just press on.

In my experiences, this has been true. If you don't turn that little release valve for stress every now and again(and humor is just one way to do that) then you will eventually no longer be able to cope. If your release is napping, sex, humor, whatever, just make sure that you're turning that valve when you need to and you'll be fine.

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