Pony Fanfiction Thread

So after a month or more of struggling to do so much as put one word in front of another, the plug has come loose and I felt rather flooded with ideas. I need to sort them out and decide where to go next, and not all are pony, but I did write this on the wave!

Scene is that Flim has arrived in town without Flam, and with a cartload of musical instruments. After trying, and failing, to hock them for a while, he decides to take a book out of Twilight's newly minted library on how to better appeal to ponies. As you might imagine from the end, there, it would flow into a shipping story.

edited 21st Sep '16 3:49:32 AM by kegisak

I approve because Music Man.

@MMM: I can't seem to comment (maybe you're not looking for comments, in which case I apologize), but some of Rarity's wording seems a bit too casual, e.g. I can't hear her ever saying "gonna".

Oh dear. I'll have to fix that right away.

That joke at the end made me laugh loudly, then, it made me reread the last few paragraphs a second time.

I did a follow-up thing to the last thing I posted.

Later in the story when Twilight realizes Flim is camping in a back-alley, she offers to let him stay in the castle, and set him up with a room. He finds the book there

I'm gonna be honest, I... think I might want to write that story.

But I dunno. My last story was a shipping story, and I dunno if I want to do another one. At least not a long-term one, and I know that would wind up taking at least a few months. I kinda wanted to write an adventure story next.

Oroboro hasn't been around here in a while, but I see he's halfway through a Sunset Shimmer Humane cast shipping series he mentioned ages ago... let's see if we can stuff the feature box with something good for a change.

edited 22nd Sep '16 9:28:36 PM by YamiVizziniX

I'm actually always here, always watching. o_o

Yet another longer draft. World building causes massive tangents. Who'dathunkit?

Crossover fanfic idea: Discord becomes Louise's familiar.

On the Harmony Theory front, I found a more relevant trope to the Solar King's plan and have added it to the TV Trope page for the fanfic and deleted the old. I get away with it because I added the old one in the first place.

BEHOLD! After a long while, here is Part 2 to my story, The Mane Six Do Their The Golden Girls Impression The Evening Before Next Mother's Day.

For those curious, here is Part 1. Part 2 is more than twice as long, I don't fucking know how that happened. There will be a Part 3, and I expect that to wrap it all up in less than... a lot less than Part 2.

Tags:
[Slice-Of-Life]: They just sit there and talk. All they do is sit there and TALK. That's all they ever do.
[Comedy]: My primary drive, first-and-foremost perhaps.
[Romance]: I avoid shipping, but all sorts of possible ships are hinted at as Bea Arthur And Gang The Mane 6 discuss their romantic inclinations.
[Sex]: And their sexual inclinations.
[Drama]: Maybe? I mean, emotions are laid bare, so that's a thing.
[Alternate Universe]: I dunno. Definitely in the next part, but in this it's just SO MUCH head fanon.

edited 25th Sep '16 2:52:50 PM by God_of_Awesome

Huh. I've read one series where Fluttershy ended up (kind of disturbingly) treating Twilight as a sort of mother figure (her real one was a Complete Monster- literally, got approved by the cleanup thread and written up) so it's interesting to see the reverse here, even as a gag.

So I managed to have a burst of activity this weekend, and wrote a couple of 'test' segments. The 'test' was mostly to see how the tone of the stories flowed, how comfortable and consistent I felt about the characters I was working with, and how easily I could work and determine what should happen next.

The stories I worked on are!

Blueblood of El'Bia: This one turned out fairly well. Blueblood's character has leveled out a bit since the end of the last story, which helps the idea that time has passed. Writing Morning Light has given me some interesting ideas for his character and how his relationship with Blueblood develops. I think if I have any issues with this one it's that a few elements move a bit too fast. Luna arriving within only a few pages really kicks the plot in the rear, and I think I'd like some time to pace an explore Blueblood's surroundings a bit more. Introducing Chainlink so fast is also a mistake, I think. I'd likely move her towards the end of the chapter, and maybe have the conversation about her between Blueblood and Morning Light.

And

A Place For Us: This one turned out fairly well, though I think I'm running afoul of the gap between my mind and the page. That is to say, I need to take the time to describe things more clearly. Ditzy/Derpy's outfit and prayer in particular, I'm unsure came out as... religious-feeling as I'd hoped. Still, overall I think it turned out well, and I'd likely use that scene, or a variant of it, as a prologue/Framing Device for the proper story.

Of course, there's also the Flimlight story segments from above, which are pretty much the same concept. Them I like, though I'm still iffy about doing more shipping next.

Ah well. I'll likely be a few months before I do pony again anyways(Trying to build a writing portfolio at the moment). Does anyone have any thoughts on them?

edited 26th Sep '16 4:12:22 AM by kegisak

Huh, just found out Savage Skies finally finished completely. One of many epics I really ought to get back to one of these days, when I can just binge enough to get a grip or get past whatever hangups I have on them.

#1 I liked how you described the fencing hall.

I really like the place name Ys. Can I use it in something mostly non-pony related?

Is meadowlark invisible?

I thought I'd evade a work with Blueblood in it, but the last paragraph made me change my mind.

#2 It was alright. Interesting faith. Possibly too much detail in the tea ceremony.

Ys is actually the name of a Mythical French City, which was built below sea level, off the coast of Brittony. Hence the name—the Aloan city of Ys is a City of Canals set several miles off the tip of the Eastern Peninsula for military purposes(This is why it's mentioned that building space in Ys is sparse—it's barely possible for Ys to expand, except for by proxy via the city of Aloe's Grace that surrounds the delta at the end of the River Aloe).

It's worth noting that that snippet is a sequel to an earlier story which contains a lot of worldbuilding for the country of Aloa. The point of that being: By all means! Since it's not my name originally, heh.

Meadowlark isn't invisible, as well, though functionally he may as well be. He's very, very good at sneaking. He's there mostly as an in-joke for my longer-term readers, as he was originally in his own story. He's a Bat Pony, so he likes to stay hidden because he makes ponies uncomfortable. But, it also serves as a hint about Morning Light being very good at sneaking himself. Morning Light hails from a Zohannonite (Think Persia meets pre-colonial America WITH GRIFFONS) Tribe based on the Gurkha. That's alluded to when Blueblood asks about his Knives—said knives are Kukri, which Morning Light has been using since he was a foal.

As for the second story, I can see where you're coming from with the ceremony. The religion actually impacts the story very heavily—the villain, Salem, is part of a cult of that faith that believes the presence of two holy elements—The Soil and The Seed—means that things must be kept separate, and therefore mixed-tribe ponies are abominations—so I wanted to emphasize the strength of Ditzy's faith in spite of that. Plus it's the anniversary of the day that Salem's genocide began and she's mourning her brother, so it's a very important moment for her.

Oh, I was assuming it was her lover, and dinky's father.

Nah. If I ever do write the story, there'll be the implication that Dinky's father was more of a... casual/rebellion fling. In fact, Ditzy wouldn't even realize she was pregnant until a ways into the story. Probably she'd realize it about a quarter of the way through, but wouldn't mention it to anyone until three quarters. Don't really have time to bring it up when you're on the run from a genocidal lunatic and your surrogate little sister is semi-traumatized from having to drown someone and you're about to ask permission to move through the territory of an infamously xenophobic and dangerous tribe of griffons.

So, one of the concepts whirling around in my head for my next story is the Celestial Sisters hosting a summit in Canterlot, inviting every national leader, or their representative, and every immortal being laying about to come join and discuss things of import. This is, of course, the story where I actually get to do all my world building and it will involve a bunch of people just standing around talking.

One of the concepts I wanted to really tackle was that the Princesses, and Blueblood, do a lot of acting. Blueblood, for example, pep talks himself into meeting some of the visiting dignitaries to "make some enemies", so somepony else can swoop in and "put him in his place". He goes on that he carefully picks who he'll approach, feeling out who might take great enough satisfaction in watching him knocked down as to take any ill-feelings he generated and completely reverse it towards the pony that stepped in.

Another bit in my head is that Celestia mentions to Twilight she specifically did not invite a few people, knowing full well they'd come precisely because they weren't. However, to feed their egos, she and Luna have to act like they didn't want them here and all insulted that they came anyway.

Ever hear the phrase; "Your money or your life"? Well, turns out that the people who say that, be it bandits or highwaymen, can be quite professional about it. As Cadance finds out while out on a stroll.

Tfw you find a story that sounds like it's a parody crossover with the black humor of something like Friendship is Witchcraft... and then see it's listed as horror instead of comedy.

It's an Attack On Titan crossover. Reminds me of my thoughts on making "Attack on Horse".

Update time.

So I was doing some research into famous Ziggurats last night, as some planning for Blueblood of El'Bia(Which I'm considering renaming to The Chains we Wear but that's not set in stone by any means). During that, I came upon an interesting idea.

Since Canterlot is named for Camelot, a mythical city, and I've already named the capitol of Aloa Ys, a mythical city, I thought it would be interesting to name each of the nations' capitols after famous mythological or Lost Cities.

For example, I've renamed the El'Bian capitol from the original, terribly creative 'Ziggurat' to 'Zerzura', a legendary oasis that was alleged to exist somewhere west of the Nile. Like it's namesake, the El'Bian city of Zerzura is pure white, and astonishingly verdant. The Earth Pony populace have used their magic to modify the soil and general climate of each Tier of the city, allowing them to grow virtually every plant imaginable. As a result, from a distance one can see a mountain of jungles upon forests upon prairies, all layering their way up to the Palace of Amos.

In Trottingham, the capitol of Cokaigne is a lavish image of plenty, a fine tribute to their Patron Goddess, who is the deity of All things Held Precious, filled with mansions and parks and a troubling undertone of 'distract-ourselves-with-shiny-things-to-ignore-the-rampant-crime-everywhere-else.

In Mitaan, the capitol rests at the top of Kunlun Mountain, surrounding the roots of, it is believed, the Great Holy Tree from which all other plants grew.

And so on, and so forth.

The trouble is, it turns out that there's kind of not that many truly Legendary cities. At least, ones that are appropriate and not kind of... obvious. Nowhere is getting named Atlantis, for example. So far, the nations that are missing capitols are:

Ashantimare: The homeland of the Zebras, ruled over by the Goddess of Growth and Motion. One possibility is Houssa, however that was alleged to exist in Niger, which is further than I'd like from the historical Ashanti kingdom on which Ashantimare is partly based. I also can't really find much information about what it was supposed to be like, so I can't tell if it would be a thematic fit.

Zohannon: A nation kind of like pre-colonial North America mashed up with ancient Persia. Shared by Griffons and Ponies, the nation is made up of several City States(Ponies) and Cliffs(Griffons). Their 'capitol' is little more than a parliament where representatives of each meet. It's hosted within Great Basin Griffon territory, but is legally it's own entity. I may go with Petra for this, but ideally I'd like something actually legendary.

Eastern Islands: Given that Eastern Islanders don't consider themselves a single nation so much as a conglomeration of smaller nations, they don't really have a capitol in real sense. However, each of the nations feels a deep connection to the Central Island, although the island, and especially the Caldera at its center, is considered sacred territory and you do not go there. They believe that God is sleeping in the Caldera, and that he must be rested for when he's needed once more. I may name the island Hawiki, after the alleged home island of the Polynesian people.

Fancee: The Capitol of Fancee lies at the very center of the nation—which was once the nexus of four different nations, each of which was at war with the other three. Their god, Jacquese, lead a campaign to conquer the four nations and force them into a single entity, and is currently on century five of his attempts to actually unify their identity and ensure the whole thing won't dissolve the second he turns his back. I have virtually no ideas for this one, but the nation's culture is based partially on France, partially on the former Yugoslavian Union, and partially on a Military Dictatorship.

Furheim: A nation based on a combination of Germany and the Nordics, Furheim is famous for three things: It's liquor, it's winters, and, as a natural extension of the two, it's philosophers. They're also the homeland of Uncle Tanenbaum, the Father Christmas-like figure who features in the celebration of Hearthwarming for the Land of Six Bridges (Furheim, Fancee and Trottingham). No real ideas for this one, but Thule is a possibility. I could also potentially go with Cokaigne here, and replace it with Dinas Affaraon for Trottingham.

Finally, Acmippo: A mountainous kingdom inhabited exclusively by Pegasi, which stretches between the Frozen North of Equestria and Furheim. They're militaristic, unfriendly, and deeply, aggressively, astonishingly territorial. Their military is strong enough that they've never been to war, because nopony has ever wanted to try, and there's an unsettling rumor that their apparent military force is actually a reserve army, and that the bulk of their force is actively engaged on another front. They're based primarily on ancient Greek aesthetics, with a fairly unique culture based around a core concept of accepting that morality and priorities are a matter of perspective, and that you should respect the perspective of others while continuing to pursue your goals ruthlessly regardless. The "Apologize but keep on punching" principle.

Does anyone have nay knowledge of mythological cities that would be appropriate for the rough regions/cultures of the nation there? Or really, just any knowledge of mythical cities in general.