BBC: Who's ruder: Brits or Germans?

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So, who's ruder in your opinion, and which country would you prefer to live in?

To be honest, both approaches are situational. On one hand, if there's a genuine problem with someones behaviour, its probably best to be blunt about it. On the other, there is such a thing as "breaking it gently."

Like the article said, though, it's neither. One kind of behaviour is rude in Germany, the other is rude in Britain. Good and bad manners are relative.

Funny how you don't even think about these things, though. Like understatement - it's not lying, it's just how you say it.

I personally consider "false concern" to be utterly disgusting. I also find "not being clear about what you say" to be utterly disgusting if the situation needs precision.
In Norway we do not smalltalk that much, we attempt to, and we do it, but we suck at it. So it is a middleground apparently.

Depends if they are invading your personal space.

^^ To be honest, I find that kind of reaction to simple politeness fairly offensive. It seems very mean-spirited. And it's not even false concern, not really.

Precision is sometimes called for, but if somebody can't recognise understatement, sarcasm or similar rhetorical devices, I don't think that's necessarily the speaker's fault.

edited 27th May '11 10:22:34 AM by BobbyG

Also ordering your spouse to do something? Da hell?

Germany seems cooler. Feeding my prejudice that Germany is cooler than England.

Now, that's interesting. Would you say that was the norm where you were? Because it's always been my impression that good manners in the American South are more similar to what we'd call good manners in Britain than in Germany.

That's the point, isn't it? You don't order someone to do something; you say "Would you please...?" but you still mean the same thing.

I'm unclear on most of the politeness rules. I'm fairly polite, but I'm very blunt. hence why I thought I'd like Germany better.

I was talking about this article with my German friend who is in Germany.
She mentions that there are some empty phrases used in German.

Overall it is important not to assume every culture's idea of politeness is the same and at the same time not act so negatively due to culturally myopic impoliteness.

What? No french?

@yej. No. I mean it way I say it. I use please when I am submitting. I ask for favors if I need something. I accept no's because I am asking. To give me an ORDER implies your better and that I inherently owe a debt to you.

Actually, that is a good point - how do you know if a German person is saying "I'd very much like you to do this, but you don't have to, I'm just asking you this as an equal" as opposed to "Do it now, bitch"? If both are phrased as "Do this", how are you supposed to tell the difference?

Maybe they relay on body speak.... I forgot what its called, but its body something.

Of course I image the phone did to german what chat relay did to english.

Interesting article. I suspect this kind of cultural misunderstanding is behind some of the negative stereotypes of Germans in English-speaking culture - humourless, ordering people around and so on - although Those Wacky Nazis had a lot to do with creating the cliches as well.

It is true that the British historically have had a bit of an obsession with politeness and the understatement and meaningless small talk have a lot to do with fear of offending people. However, there are English-speaking countries that go in for bluntness more as well, notably the US and Australia - actually, as far as the British are concerned being blunt is the Hat for Australia. Well, that and cricket.

edited 27th May '11 11:22:54 AM by captainbrass2

Sex in the City but with less sex and more gin.

Wrong thread?

Body language is a term in English.

Thats it, thank you! It is a term in english, I assume your implying thats its not a thing in Germany If not just move on, but its a human thing. We broadcast are intentions when we are speaking and it takes up a large portion of non verbal communication.

Bobby G: Polite != False concern.
"Are you allright?" after something really shitty happened, is fair enough. It is basically the more polite version of "So do you hurt?", but whenever somebody is in a unpolite situation and starts throwing in false concern(Example: Politicans), I get utterly disgusted.
The most disgusting person I have met so far in my life was a counciler at a school. What tikked me off so badly was that she did not even care at all, and yet she was keeping a entire "I do care"-facade up. She was working and talking like anybody else would be when they are going to work or or when shopping something in a repetive way. And she put up that facade to hide it.
The contrast utterly disgusted me.

I thought you weren't a native english speaker and were translating something directly but were getting the wrong phrase, hence "in english".

No I am native speaker, I just happen to be stupid. Sorry for the confusion.

My neighbors are German, and I think that they're both laid-back and honest people. Not so much "polite" as "outgoing."