How to write a serious sex scene before a human and a rabbit?:

Total posts: [19]
Making Da Funt1mes Fun
The backstory: I'm writing a story about an ordinary teenaged boy, who finds out the incredibly hot and sexy girl who saved his life two years earlier has been kidnapped by an evil magician, and is currently cursed.

She is tortured every day, and is forced to wear nothing except leather underwear, and so she tries to escape. She manages to escape, and meets up with the teenager again, and they have sex and start dating.

Then she is kidnapped again, and turned into a rabbit as a punishment. The boy manages to save her, but she is still a rabbit, and to show her that he doesn't mind what she looks like, he still thinks she's hot, they have sex.

I really don't know how to write this, I'm trying to make it really sad and touching, that no matter what, he still likes her, but it's coming across really stupid and narmy.

How do I write this?

PS-I'm a virgin, so I'm not good at writing sex either.
"Like a lover in the sunset, the sky falls down." -A line from my current novel.
2 KillerClowns19th May 2011 08:11:42 AM from the Midwest , Relationship Status: Healthy, deeply-felt respect for this here Shotgun
Not as singularly broad-minded as a turnip

OK, lad. My advice? Do the — and I use the term loosely — Sexy Discretion Shot thing and be done with it. You will squick out a good chunk of your audience, for obvious reasons, so don't push your luck by showing the deed. Honestly, my advice is to make sure the deed is only hinted at if you read between the lines. Otherwise, your work will be remembered as that thing with the guy and the rabbit, and absolutely nothing else about it will be remembered.
he still thinks she's hot

What. Love doesn't work that way. (Supposing you're going for love, you don't say so anywhere, except that "he still likes her".)

There are other ways to show that you love someone other than having sex with them, you know. Not to mention, it's still most probably physically impossible. She has the size of a normal rabbit, right?

Anyway, I don't know any way you can have it being taken seriously at all. I'd say it's almost impossible. And I say almost because it's theoritically not.

Can't he just "adopt" her, take care of her, talk to her and stuff to show his feelings?
4 SantosLHalper19th May 2011 08:15:48 AM from The Canterlot of the North
A Gentlecolt and a Bard
"They may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR INALIENABLE RIGHTS TO LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS!"
OP, assuming that this is not a troll, please scrap this idea immediately. Nothing good can possibly come from it.

edited 19th May '11 8:25:54 AM by EnglishIvy

6 animemetalhead19th May 2011 08:24:37 AM from Ashwood Landing, ME
Runs on Awesomeness
How? Don't. Ever.
No one believes me when I say angels can turn their panties into guns.
7 Madrugada19th May 2011 08:24:38 AM , Relationship Status: In season
Don't. Just — please don't. You are not going to manage to make it sad and touching.
...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.
8 MajorTom19th May 2011 08:26:13 AM , Relationship Status: Barbecuing
Eye'm the cutest!
Um...I see potential for Mind Screw and maybe Rule of Funny but serious drama I don't see that happening.
"Allah may guide their bullets, but Jesus helps those who aim down the sights."
vigilantly taxonomish
I lol'd.

What Madrugada said. Not going to work, not under any circumstances.
(Damn, I was hoping for more Whats in a row.)

Still, Nick, don't let the above guys discourage you. At the very least, you're guarunteed to get a good audience reaction out of this. There's no such thing as bad publicity.
I have a principal of never claiming an idea is impossible to write, but this one sounds extremely difficult.

First bit of advice would be to see if you can replace this with a non-sexual affectionate scene, such as him cuddling her and talking to her. That would probably come across with a lot less Squick.

If you must have a sex scene between them, might be best to skip over it as much as possible.

If you're going to show the scene, I don't know what to advise, other than to make sure you research rabbit physiology so you don't end up writing something physically impossible or extremely painful for the rabbit.
If I'm asking for advice on a story idea, don't tell me it can't be done.
12 KSPAM19th May 2011 08:31:34 AM from PARTY ROCK , Relationship Status: Giving love a bad name
Nick, don't listen to him. There is. It's called "bad publicity"

Seriously bro. Don't do it. You Can (Not) Succeed.

edited 19th May '11 8:31:55 AM by KSPAM

I've got new mythological machinery, and very handsome supernatural scenery.

Goodfae: a mafia web serial
[up]I know about The Pokemon Story, although I'm not interested in Pokemon fics. Many people have read it just because of it's "bad publicity". It has a trope page. I'm sure there are people who would pay a small fee to read it, just because of it's infamy.

You can totally make money out of this, Nick. TRUST YOUR INSTICTS!

(While I'm not being serious, this isn't in Sarcasm Mode either.)

edited 19th May '11 8:38:17 AM by Dealan

Pro-Freedom Fanatic
Don't. People will put with many a Big Lipped Alligator Moment. But these kinda stuff? Never Live It Down, dude.

But You Screw One Goat! applies. The entire story will be remembered as: "That kid who screwed the rabbit."
You exist because we allow it and you will end because we demand it.
...Y'know, given that this was his very first post, the edit history on his profile page says it was created today, and that at the end of his post he notes that he's a virgin, I feel confident that he's trolling us.

16 Edmania19th May 2011 08:49:25 AM from under a pile of erasers
o hai
Though with that said, I don't see why others find it difficult to take seriously if BDSM and such can.
If people learned from their mistakes, there wouldn't be this thing called bad habits.
Making Da Funt1mes Fun
So none of you guys think it'll work either?

Well then he could just kiss her or something instead. Would that be better?

Also, I don't get how me being a virgin or knew to this site makes me a virgin? sad
"Like a lover in the sunset, the sky falls down." -A line from my current novel.
18 Edmania19th May 2011 08:56:34 AM from under a pile of erasers
o hai
I don't get how me being a virgin or knew to this site makes me a virgin?

k totally a troll Uh, well...
If people learned from their mistakes, there wouldn't be this thing called bad habits.
19 Madrugada19th May 2011 09:10:14 AM , Relationship Status: In season
<Mod Hat ON>

You've got your answer, Nick.

Locking the thread.

<Mod Hat OFF>
...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.
The system doesn't know you right now, so no post button for you.
You need to Get Known to get one of those.

Total posts: 19