I'm writing a fan fic for Halo and I want your advice. I'm trying to make it feel real, as if the actual writers had done it. I want it to feel like Halo when people read it, maybe with a slight more emphasis on the ships and crew rather than the ground army itself.
So, how's this so far:
24 Years after the events of Halo 3
Dr. Dale Morrison was busy at his computer, writing in a secret file for an experiment he wished to perform. His brown hair was messy from hours at the computer, and his slim physique was getting even slimmer since he was basically living on coffee. Sure, he was just a low level scientist, but he knew that he could be on top if he could accomplish his experiment. Until then, he’d just have to continue doing his job, analyzing signals.
He began writing in his notepad when he suddenly received a call on the intercom.
“Dr. Morrison, report at the bridge immediately .”,said the voice.
Now what? If he has another useless data file for me to encrypt…
He got up and headed for the elevator. Before long, he had arrived at his destination. Before him stood Captain Paul Jackson, Dr. Julia Baker, Sgt. Michael Forge, and ODST Lt. Leonardo Moretti.
“Ah, Dr. Morrison. Glad you made it.”, said Captain Jackson.
“What’s the special occasion?”, asked Dale.
“That’s what we’re all gathered for. You won’t believe what our sensors just picked up. I think we all remember the end of the war against the Covenant. During that war, it is believed that SPARTAN John-117 was killed firing the incomplete Halo ring that wiped out the Flood. However, our sensor just picked up this message:”.
The Captain pointed a remote towards a screen on the wall and clicked a button.
“This is AI Cortanna. We’re alive, but we were cut off by the portal as it closed . If anyone gets this, please follow these coordinates:”
A large set of code appeared on the screen.
Dale’s eyes widened.
I know this.
“Ladies and gentlemen, today we get to find out whether Spartans really are just missing action. The Shining Sword is the most prepared for this sort of mission, so we’ve been ordered to check it out. The Elites have volunteered to help out this time and will meet up with us. Morrison, I heard you’re good at this code thing so I’ll leave this to you. Morreti, go get your squad prepared for drop.
Michael, get a squad ready and in a pelican. Everybody else, prepare the ship. Get to work.”, said the Captain.
Dale took another look at the code once again. He swiftly proceeded to the Captain.
“Sir, I know this code. At the beginning of the war there was a ship called The Spirit of Fire at the Battle of Harvest. It was declared missing in action, and we never found out what the ship had discovered. We tried contacting it several times but only got static. Sir, these aren’t the coordinates to the Master Chief’s location. They’re the tracking signal to The Spirit of Fire. Cortanna edited them some so we could get an accurate lock. She’s trying to lead us to where we can get what we need to find them.”
“And where would that be?” asked the Captain.
Dale pulled up a star map on a computer and pointed at a cluster of stars.
“Right there.”
“Alright, everyone prepare to enter slipstream. We’re heading for the Spirit of Fire.”
The Captain turned to Dale. “I hope you’re right.”
Sgt. Michael Forge looked down at his assault rifle, sitting on a bench. He pulled a picture of his brother out and looked at it. His brother had been on that ship that never returned. If they were going there now, he might see him again. One can only hope.
That's what I have so far. Some things were meant to be in italics to indicate thought, so sorry if there's any confusion.
What do you think? Am I on the right track? I want to tie off the loose ends and expand the series, so I'm tieing in all the characters I can without retcons.
I'm writing a fan fic for Halo and I want your advice. I'm trying to make it feel real, as if the actual writers had done it. I want it to feel like Halo when people read it, maybe with a slight more emphasis on the ships and crew rather than the ground army itself.
So, how's this so far:
24 Years after the events of Halo 3
Dr. Dale Morrison was busy at his computer, writing in a secret file for an experiment he wished to perform. His brown hair was messy from hours at the computer, and his slim physique was getting even slimmer since he was basically living on coffee. Sure, he was just a low level scientist, but he knew that he could be on top if he could accomplish his experiment. Until then, he’d just have to continue doing his job, analyzing signals. He began writing in his notepad when he suddenly received a call on the intercom. “Dr. Morrison, report at the bridge immediately .”,said the voice.
Now what? If he has another useless data file for me to encrypt…
He got up and headed for the elevator. Before long, he had arrived at his destination. Before him stood Captain Paul Jackson, Dr. Julia Baker, Sgt. Michael Forge, and ODST Lt. Leonardo Moretti.
“Ah, Dr. Morrison. Glad you made it.”, said Captain Jackson.
“What’s the special occasion?”, asked Dale.
“That’s what we’re all gathered for. You won’t believe what our sensors just picked up. I think we all remember the end of the war against the Covenant. During that war, it is believed that SPARTAN John-117 was killed firing the incomplete Halo ring that wiped out the Flood. However, our sensor just picked up this message:”.
The Captain pointed a remote towards a screen on the wall and clicked a button.
“This is AI Cortanna. We’re alive, but we were cut off by the portal as it closed . If anyone gets this, please follow these coordinates:”
A large set of code appeared on the screen.
Dale’s eyes widened.
I know this.
“Ladies and gentlemen, today we get to find out whether Spartans really are just missing action. The Shining Sword is the most prepared for this sort of mission, so we’ve been ordered to check it out. The Elites have volunteered to help out this time and will meet up with us. Morrison, I heard you’re good at this code thing so I’ll leave this to you. Morreti, go get your squad prepared for drop. Michael, get a squad ready and in a pelican. Everybody else, prepare the ship. Get to work.”, said the Captain.
Dale took another look at the code once again. He swiftly proceeded to the Captain.
“Sir, I know this code. At the beginning of the war there was a ship called The Spirit of Fire at the Battle of Harvest. It was declared missing in action, and we never found out what the ship had discovered. We tried contacting it several times but only got static. Sir, these aren’t the coordinates to the Master Chief’s location. They’re the tracking signal to The Spirit of Fire. Cortanna edited them some so we could get an accurate lock. She’s trying to lead us to where we can get what we need to find them.”
“And where would that be?” asked the Captain.
Dale pulled up a star map on a computer and pointed at a cluster of stars.
“Right there.”
“Alright, everyone prepare to enter slipstream. We’re heading for the Spirit of Fire.”
The Captain turned to Dale. “I hope you’re right.”
Sgt. Michael Forge looked down at his assault rifle, sitting on a bench. He pulled a picture of his brother out and looked at it. His brother had been on that ship that never returned. If they were going there now, he might see him again. One can only hope.
That's what I have so far. Some things were meant to be in italics to indicate thought, so sorry if there's any confusion.
What do you think? Am I on the right track? I want to tie off the loose ends and expand the series, so I'm tieing in all the characters I can without retcons.
edited 24th Apr '11 1:45:30 PM by TheProffesor