"What Can I Do To Help?" response kicking into overdrive

Having been through some tough situations myself, about which I'd rather not go into detail, and being somewhat idealistic, I want to help people if/when I can. Recently, though, my automatic response of reaching out to help has kicked into overdrive. I do want to help, but I'm getting into situations that are way over my head, in terms of what I can actually do that would be effective. Once I've said I'm going to help, though, I don't rescind that. Ever. Which is a bit of a problem in terms of the impact it has on me.

If this helps at all for understanding my general philosophy, my Myers Briggs profile was "INFP," when I was tested, which is mostly accurate. This profile was quite accurate as well.

Other than shutting myself off from the world completely, or something like that, what can I do to make sure I don't get into situations trying to help others that are going to be emotional vampires on me? Has or does anyone else had/have this problem?

edited 22nd Apr '11 12:31:41 PM by punkreader

Cool, I score INFP too. If you feel it's a problem, go ahead and do something about it. Maybe see a therapist if you're really having trouble. But I don't think you can help others too much.

I don't have this problem myself, but I am partially austic.
However, one think you can do, is to aquire proper empathy, normal people seem to lack that.

It's a sort of empathy overdrive. I went through it as well for a while, and I still have it, I just don't aim it in that direction. Namely because I feel completely overwhelmed by the real scale of the issues that it freezes me.

For me it's a form of anxiety. But when I see a chance to help someone I know, yeah I get the same thing. Too much actually. It's not healthy at all.

Maybe you could set a quota. Help one person at a time, or spend a preset amount of time each week at it. You need to spend some time helping yourself or you won't be any good to others.

I read one theory that this problem is due to a poor sense of where, emotionally, you end and another person begins, though I'm not sure about the validity of that because the source was another forum. In reality, you are responsible for your feelings and no one else's, but when you have this overdrive issue, it's very easy to feel responsible for the upkeep of someone else's emotions as if they are your own. That's how I have experienced it, anyway.

And shutting yourself off from others doesn't solve the problem; I know because I did that and am pursuing other solutions because that one backfires quite hard.

edited 24th Apr '11 4:18:26 AM by SPACETRAVEL