A ragtag group of orphans escaped from the evil orphanage and went off to the woods to find Grandma, the grandmother of the main character, who, before she went missing, gave the main character clues to where she was hiding. After almost a year of searching, the group, having suffered many hardships and a few deaths, came across the final clue, which led to a dilapidated, moss ridden shack, and inside that shack was the rotting corpse of Grandma. The few orphans left, already a bit crazy, refused to face reality and continued on with their search, going more and more insane along the way. After a couple of years, there was only one remaining orphan, who had succumbed to insanity so much that he could not anymore distinguish reality from dreams and mixed up the events. As he turned to the skulls of his friends, which he had kept with him, he chewed on the last corpse and uttered the line. The book! It's glowing!
To the waking world I say,"Aha!"
Eye'm the cutest!Having accidentally correctly said the words of the Incantation, our intrepid female supporting character spouts this line when a supposedly ordinary book they were reading begins to glow with a mystical aura shortly after saying one of its lines. The book itself is revealed to be a powerful spellbook of an ancient evil wizard and the Incantation was the last act needed to revive him. "One step closer and I'm ripping out all of your nose hair."
"Allah may guide their bullets, but Jesus helps those who aim down the sights."
Stick of the FallenThe Lancer utters this line, proving that he's not himself as he hates nose hair. I was out purchasing a puppy.
"Oh great! Let's pile up all the useless cats and hope a tree falls on them!"
Welcome to Purgatory!The main character, a noble paladin, travels to a strange village in the middle of a foreign jungle to get in contact with somebody important. Heading straight to his destination, he finds that the man he is searching for is not home, but a friendly lady nearby notices that he's new to the village and offers to show him around. Not knowing a thing about the place, the paladin accepts, and has a wonderful time. Amazed at how civilized and peaceful this foreign village is, the paladin returns to the home of the man he sought out, and hears his excuse for not being home earlier...while pointing to a bag of take-out from the local diner. They entered the vestibule and sat themselves down before the wide hearth, where, I remember, a particularly good fire of logs was burning.
The building in question is owned by a person who holds trees and wood sacred - burning wood is sacrilege, and the hearth had, not long before, been used only as a niche for ornaments. Morning broke.
edited 4th Jan '13 3:57:46 PM by ArsThaumaturgis
The characters live in a world of perpetual night, and it is prophesied that the "day" dawn finally breaks, the apocalypse will begin. My father never came here...
Wenn man nicht die Fresse halten kann, einfach mal Ahnung haben.
Your argument is invalidAfter trying to track his missing father coes down, he utters one line as he relizes he's been duped by his arch nemesis... Happy Birthday!
Scary Suprise Party away! Isn't it obvious? I'll give you a hint: "The lord is the land"...
I'm as normal as anyone can be. Which is to say, not bothering myself with an impossible standard.
Scary little buggerIt turns out that the Evil Monarch is also a Fisher King. So trying to kill him will destroy everything. All these years... all those times I saved your life... everything we've been through... it never meant a damn thing at all did it?
edited 5th Jan '13 4:55:58 PM by HandsomeRob
No, I'm not a Zombie, they piss me off.
Welcome to Purgatory!The greatest regret of the invincible Captain Tropetastic, local superhero, is that he once had to let his best friend Marcus's wife die in order to protect his secret identity. To elaborate, while his alter ego Troy Tastik was acting as the best man at Marcus's wedding, his arch-enemy Lord Wikkus had hijacked an airplane carrying a shipment of rare and valuable materials. Things went wrong for Wikkus, and by contrived coincidence, the plane crashed right into the chapel the wedding was being held at. Troy was among the various people trapped under the rubble, but if he revealed himself then and there, Wikkus would know his secret (as well as knowing a bunch of people Troy cares enough about to be a part of a wedding with). The only reason his secret was saved was because Marcus managed to save him, and while this wasn't the first time that the friend had bailed out his alter ego, many lives were lost without the help of Captain Tropetastic, including Marcus's bride. While Captain Tropetastic always wanted to reveal the truth to Marcus, this incident made him reconsider; he had to sacrifice a few people to be able to protect the rest of the world, and he doubted that Marcus would ever be able to forgive Troy... The line in the previous post is a Wham because it is uttered by Marcus, whom showed no signs that he had discovered Troy's secret until that moment. "History ain't gonna forget about that for a long time!"
edited 5th Jan '13 5:55:33 PM by EndarkCuli
The time is now,The insane villain is towering over the battered and bloody hero, his plans to control the internet, and thus the way the world thinks, are about to come to fruition. Before he delivers the killing blow he screams "History will be what I tell it to be!" He raises his weapon, but before he can deliver the coup de grace, his mad laughter changes to a choke, then blood starts pouring out of his mouth. The camera pulls back to reveal the heros side kick, an otherwise mild academic in tweed, and believed to have been killed 5 minutes before, has rammed the villain's flagpole through the villain's back, and into his lung. He then delivers the line as a Bond one liner. edit just realised - I think I can use this...
Next up You're too late. I'm already dead.
edited 5th Jan '13 6:35:55 PM by LastHussar
Do the job in front of you.
Your argument is invalidOur heroes are following the trail of the Uber Magician, the only person supposedly capable of ridding the land of the Generic Evil Faction. They have been following his clues, which also detailing his fleeing from the Generic Evil Faction and his worsening health. The last paper they found opened with this line.... Sing me a lullaby, just one more time, sis.
edited 5th Jan '13 7:16:45 PM by MetaSkipper
In Fantasyland a magical phenomenon occurred, one which morphed people into monsters. One such girl turned into a siren whose song could kill, even herself. The girl was then captured by the town guard in an effort to rid the town of monsters. After a month or so, the girl received a letter from her brother; "I'm going to save you, " it said. Clutching on to that hope, the girl endured the hardships of her life in prison. Sometime later, it happened. The girl's brother stormed the fortress the girl was being held in. Even in the depths of the dungeon the girl could hear her brother hack and slash his way through the guard. She was going to be free. "Sis, " croaked a familiar voice. The girl's eyes lit up and rushed to the door of her cell... ... and then that's when he utters the line above, as the brother limped to his sister's cell, heavily battered and wounded. He did not expect to survive the day. I'm just me.
Your argument is invalidOur hero has been training for the Generic Tournament of Displaying Fighting Skills. There is a legend about the Awesome Talented Guy of Excellet Descent. Or hero works his way to the end of the tournament, where he fights the long standing Master, who only comes down from his training in the mountain to oversee the Tournament to pick a pupil, preferables the Guy of Excellent Descent. Our hero, meanwhile, has been coming to terms with who he as. As he fights a losing battle against the Master, the Master asks "Do you believe yourself to be the Guy?" "No...." Shoryuken, indeed.
The hero was taught a skill that is sure to defeat the villain; shoryuken. There are only two people who know the existence of the technique; the deceased creator and the hero's mentor. Hero practices and masters the technique in secret. And then the villains speaks the line as he charges and tries to finish him off with the skill. They say, history is written by the victor. Such naivety....no, it is the other way around.
edited 12th Jan '13 9:24:49 AM by dRoy
"Allah may guide their bullets, but Jesus helps those who aim down the sights."
Thunder, Perfect MindMany years ago, a corrupt kingdom was nearly overthrown by a fanatically violent and incredibly charismatic rebel leader, who managed to foster a great rapport with the common folk of the empire with his populist rhetoric and eerie intensity. Naturally, the rebellion was quashed without mercy, and subsequently all but forgotten about. Years pass, and with the coming of a new, wiser ruler comes an era of prosperity. Great strides have been made in the reduction of poverty, and peace seems the order of the day. Yet one member of the emperor's inner circle remains uneasy: An ancient monk who, when a young priest, had been asked to see the once-mighty madman before his execution, in the hopes that he would show contrition. Instead, the rebel spoke only these words, a strange smile on his face as he did so: "They say, 'History is written by the victor.' Such naivety... no, it is the other way around." The monk wanders through a distant border town in an impenetrable disguise, sent by the emperor to travel his lands and report back to him the success or failure of his reforms. The emperor knows that the monk is an honest man, a man who has seen much in his long life and gained much wisdom. He values his word. As the monk passes a narrow side street, a young man emerges as if from the empty air. He has a strange, distant look on his face, a little smile tugging at his lips. The monk bids him good day. The strangers' gazes meet. "They say, 'History is written by the victor...'" On the western wind, there came soft rains, and the faint smell of jasmine.
Our heroes stand on an open moor, at some middle stage of their quest. To the west loom the myriad great barrows of the kingdom in which they stand, a kingdom whose members hold an ancient and evil grudge against the lines from which our heroes descend; the kingdom has been established to bury its dead surrounded by copious amounts of jasmine, a flower the scent of which is believed to ward off evil spirits. Strange, in the country from which the heroes hail, jasmine is the flower used to call back the dead from their rest on the Day of Spirits, when families welcome the spirits of the dead back for a single evening. The sun is setting, the evening rapidly cooling. But there's little to fear: everyone knows that an evil spirit cannot walk in dry air- On the western wind, there came soft rains, and the faint smell of jasmine. The dream woke.
Big Bad in what became known as "The dream wake". Use the 12lb mallet. 24lbs will break it!
Welcome to Purgatory!In an alternate universe, the United States of America have become an evil dictatorship. This is mostly thanks to a powerful mystic artifact that was uncovered during the War of 1812, after the original White House was burned down and they were preparing to build a new one. With this increase in power, the war to separate from Britain and Canada turned into an attempt to conquer all of North America, but not even mystical power can instantly win a war. The protagonists of this setting are members of the British Allied Territories Squadron, or BATS, fighting against the American Empire from what remains of Canada. The major climax in the story is when the BATS successfully sneak their way into American territory, break into the White House 2.0, and are prepared to deactivate their mystical artifact. However, right before they are about to permanently deactivate the thing by whacking it with a hammer or two, the nicest and most observant member of the group reminds them that too much force would probably make the artifact explode and kill everyone on the continent. The problem is, he referred to the weight of the hammers with 'pounds'...when the metric system, used in Britain and Canada but not the American Empire, uses kilograms. I've worked day and night to uncover this ancient weapon...just so I could see the look on your face when I choose to scrap this stupid thing.
edited 2nd Feb '13 7:21:50 PM by EndarkCuli
Reason You Suck Speech, flipping open his vest to reveal a bomb strapped to his chest. What Happened to the Mouse?
edited 30th Sep '13 10:26:39 PM by IuraCivium
Jesus Christ is Lord.
Razzin-Frazzin RobotThe long-forgotten mouse has suddenly become important. Now where could that reggae music be coming from?
Who you are does not matter.The Haunting of Bob Marley. It's not compatible with our orbital brain-lasers.
edited 30th Sep '13 11:27:40 PM by Night
"Let us look less to the sky to see what might fall; rather, let us look to each other...and rise."
The main character has spent nearly the entirety of the story looking for the one man who knows what is up with his dreams... His dreams of reggae music. "Is it you?"
Organized Canine Bureau Special AgentTwo brothers, who didn't know each other as they were separated as children, met again as adults after they received word of their existence. "Sir, can a soldier find love on the battlefield?"
"Exit muna si Polgas. Ang kailangan dito ay si Dobermaxx!"
Nanako The NarcfaceA soldier reveals his sexual orientation in a time when homosexuality was frowned upon. "I am the last hope..."
"An MMORPG without a logout button? That's a bold decision, man!"
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