icon by implodingoracle
Tails! Don't you know smoking's bad for you, little buddy?
But it's cool, everyone's doing it. Even Grounder!
...You need serious help if you're listening to Grounder. (to Freedom Fighters) You guys take care of the PSA while I jet Tails to a hospital.
Did someone call my name?
Next PSA is on drinking
edited 17th Apr '11 12:55:22 PM by Enzeru
Ahem... Apparently I was forced to give a PSA about drinking. But, I find complaining about things I've never tried isn't very productive. However, I guess I can say the following.
-ahem- That is all... I heard the next PSA will be about Texting and Driving.
edited 17th Apr '11 1:32:17 PM by Tatsumar
Deer
Ich bin nicht schuld! 's ist Gottes Plan!
Dead Men Tell No Tales.
And you want to keep telling tales, now don't you? So don't try telling tales, especially not tales of Sex And Outrage, to your friends over your snazzy little phone while being a Speedfreak on your Iron Horse, or you'll be a Damage Case sooner than you think. You may think I'm just a boring Talking Head, but We Are The Road Crew, so Keep Us On The Road. (Even if you aren't torn Limb From Limb in a crash, a Lawman who is a Sharpshooter and thinks The Chase Is Better Than The Catch may well get you Bang To Rights, and Shoot You In The Back if you tell him to Go To Hell). Catch you next week for a PSA about Jailbait.
Yes, the capitalised words are all Motörhead song titles, even the last one.
edited 17th Apr '11 1:49:46 PM by MidnightRambler
Mache dich, mein Herze, rein...
watching down on us
I got no topic so I did it on your avatar.
Hwæt! See you || that horned thing!
That vile creature || that leers at me
Out from dark-shroud || peering from shadow.
Friends, I beg, || "Do not approach!"
Value your being || and guard your life.
Next topic is on unmanliness.
edited 17th Apr '11 2:36:06 PM by annebeeche
Banned entirely for telling FE that he was being rude and not contributing to the discussion. I shall watch down from the goon heavens.
When I typed this, I only had the last line of the poem to go by. So I chose, self-worth.
 | Hello. The Enrichment Center would like to remind Aperture Science test subjects to volunteer for the new mandatory lecture series "Aperture Science and Your Self-Esteem". This new, largley safe, lecture series will detail everything that you can do to forget how awful a person you are and make you blissfully ignorant of every one of your scarring personality flaws. Such as, cowardice, lust, anger, pride, the erroneous belief in the superiority of pie over cake, cowardice, pride, 80s hair cuts, tone-up shoes, gluttony, and low-selfesteem. Once no longer aware of these flaws you will be able to wonder why nobody likes you in complete ignorance and can begin to feel smugly superior to everyone. Yes, nobody likes you. Nobody. No, not even them. Good day. |
The next Aperture Science-Brand Lecture Series will be on drugs.
edited 17th Apr '11 2:51:55 PM by Braincogs
Kvltvre Vvltvre
Yeah. I did drugs once. I did a ton of them, in fact. And you know what happened to me? I died. I'm only back through sheer chance, and I'm not even sure it worked. So kids? Have fun with your lives, but don't do drugs. Drugs are bad, mkay? They make you dead.
So yeah, next one is on unmanliness, as per ![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
edited 17th Apr '11 2:37:25 PM by BoundByTheMoon
There are snakes in the grass, so we'd better go hunting!
"Of course, Satsuki-sama."
Um... Uh...
-Masha looks around, not sure what she's supposed to be doing exactly-
Uh... Oh! Some of my mushrooms, right? They can make you see all sorts of weird stuff, so don't eat them!
-She looks offscreen-
Did I do it right?
-Pause, somebody offscreen says "good enough, now do the one on unmaniliness"-
Wha? I... uh... d-don't be unmanly?
I dont know what to do!
-Voice offscreen says "Forget it"-
Oh, okay! The next PSA is on... avoiding sexual predators? What's that?
edited 17th Apr '11 2:43:17 PM by AnnoR
"Oh, dear. The toad, the monkey, and the dog have all screwed up."
watching down on us
Young men of Geatland || let noone ever
Take from you || what is sole' yours.
Man or woman, || young or old,
Lest you may not || ne'er grow a beard,
And the scolding scops || call you "ergi"
And cut your balls || though you did naught.
The next topic is on practicing safe sex.
edited 17th Apr '11 2:47:16 PM by annebeeche
Banned entirely for telling FE that he was being rude and not contributing to the discussion. I shall watch down from the goon heavens.
Earth-Pig Born
Hi there, my name is Cerebus..you may know me from works like Cerebus The Aardvark..but Cerebus is here to talk about something serious.
Safe sex. You see, Cerebus slept with a Boraelian hooker once without wearing a rubber..and now he has a rash.
So, when you think Sex..think safety.
The next Public Service Announcement will be about masturbation.
edited 17th Apr '11 2:54:41 PM by Kentok
You can get what you want and still not be very happy.
Jamais vu
Go on. Masturbate. Don't worry. I won't break into your house and steal everything while you're busy. Really.
Next topic is gang violence.
UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOI
watching down on us
Listen, young boys! || And young girls, too!
Where over the sea || do your fathers sail,
Where do you think, || to Asgard, you believe?
They fly in their fleets, || maddened marches,
to houses and hamlets, || brandishing brands
in bright byrnie || to — men and women —
only to kill. || Are you proud, children?
The next topic is on homosexuality.
edited 17th Apr '11 3:10:59 PM by annebeeche
Banned entirely for telling FE that he was being rude and not contributing to the discussion. I shall watch down from the goon heavens.
Kvltvre Vvltvre
Go ahead.
Next topic is religious tolerance.
There are snakes in the grass, so we'd better go hunting!
"Of course, Satsuki-sama."
Religious tolerance? B-but... there's more then one religion? Well, I don't really care... so... uh... what should I say?
-Offscreen Voice: Just go with that.-
Okay!
-Masha looks forward again-
It doesn't matter what religion you are, I don't really care! It's all okay!
Umm... the next PSA is on drunk driving!
edited 17th Apr '11 3:09:34 PM by AnnoR
"Oh, dear. The toad, the monkey, and the dog have all screwed up."
Earth-Pig Born
Drunk driving? Well, what's the big deal with that? Cerebus does it constantly.
The next topic will be suicide.
edited 17th Apr '11 3:12:01 PM by Kentok
You can get what you want and still not be very happy.
watching down on us
Sons and daughters || of Scyld Scefing,
Turn your blades || away from your breasts!
Throw yourselves not || on your friends' pyres.
Deal not deaths || numberless and needless,
Does Woden reward || he who turns
Away from hardship? || There is still hope!
Raise the point || and not the pommel,
to the real enemy, || he that is outside you!
The next topic is on breast cancer.
edited 17th Apr '11 3:20:10 PM by annebeeche
Banned entirely for telling FE that he was being rude and not contributing to the discussion. I shall watch down from the goon heavens.
 | beep boop, beep-bee. boob. whir-fweep. boop-fwoop-wee. beep-poob. | |
The next PSA is on keeping your legs waxed.
edited 17th Apr '11 3:48:35 PM by Braincogs
Women, take it from me, men don't like to look at your legs, and start thinking of the Ape Man. Seriously, wax those legs.
Next one is on Gun Safety.
edited 17th Apr '11 3:46:24 PM by GearLeader
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXkI1sTDoEg
 | Cave Johnson here! | |
FACT: the number-one cause of gun-related injury is unsafe bullets. So we at Aperture have devised a whole new bullet to protect you and your family. It's the new Aperture Science-brand password-locked bullet. Check this out: they're voice activated, just set a password that a burglar would say, like "Stop! I'll give myself up!" and watch these babies head straight for them! And if you ever say your password, just quickly say the stop-code before the bullet hits.
Cave Johnson, we're done here!
Our next product will be a PSA on preventing Sun-related damage.
edited 17th Apr '11 4:03:35 PM by Braincogs
watching down on us
Okay, do I even need to put this into verse for you guys? Don't work out in the sun all day.
And don't go way south, either. Supposedly it's brighter down there. If you start hearing about a "Iesu", you've gone too far.
The next topic is a special message about discrimination against those who are different from you!
edited 17th Apr '11 3:53:15 PM by annebeeche
Banned entirely for telling FE that he was being rude and not contributing to the discussion. I shall watch down from the goon heavens.
edited 26th Jun '12 3:09:20 PM by MsieurLapin
(they/them)
-projected directly into everyone's mind at high volume-
HALLELUJAH HALLELUJAH HALLELUJAH HALLELUJAH HALLELUJAH THE LORD OMNIPOTENT REIGNETH FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER HALLELUJAH HALLELUJAH HALLELUJAH!
The next topic is mental health.
edited 17th Apr '11 8:16:12 PM by Enthryn
Earth-Pig Born
Cerebus has heard that Mental Health will drive you mad..so, don't try to get mental health, kids.
The next topic will be about Respecting your Elders.
You can get what you want and still not be very happy.
Respect those older and wiser than yourself, lest they smite you with divine fury!
The next topic will be about recycling.
"If we're going to win the war against the Axis, we need all the scrap metal, used paper and cooking fat you kids can round up to be turned into new bullets, planes, tanks and other weapons for our brave boys overseas! Remember, reduce, reuse, recycle, and we'll all stay free! Tune in next week for another thrilling Mask of Justice adventure!"
The next topic will be breast cancer awareness.
The rule is that your avatar gives a PSA on the subject the above troper gives you.
I'll give one to start:
Smoking
I want flies in on a dragons!