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General Writer's Block thread:

 1176 De Marquis, Wed, 15th May '13 6:29:53 PM from Hell, USA Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
Who Am I?
There is, but it's all secondary to the main conflict, which is the MC's effort to redeem himself for a huge mistake he made as an apprentice. His antagonist is, literally, himself

edited 15th May '13 6:30:01 PM by DeMarquis

“Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.”
 1177 Romulus, Wed, 15th May '13 9:21:10 PM from The Edge of Somewhere, PA Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
Amateur Person
[up]

Interesting. I vaguely remember that from when I watched the Syfy version.

Thanks for the encouragement!

 1178 JHM, Thu, 16th May '13 10:31:30 PM from Neither Here Nor There Relationship Status: I know
Thunder, Perfect Mind
@Marq FJA: I apologise for confusing Outer and Inner Mongolia. The terminology there has always puzzled me somewhat.

As for the Yi and Nax(h)i not having enough clout to secede, you did as what I thought would happen if the country dissolved into "numerous splinter states." I do not think it wholly unlikely that under such extreme circumstances some unified group of ethnic minorities in the south might get the idea to secede, even if they are ultimately unsuccessful. Consider how the central government has treated such groups in the past; further consider what would inevitably happen in the West and how that would influence affairs in the East.
 1179 Morwen Edhelwen, Fri, 17th May '13 6:41:05 AM from Sydney, Australia
Tolkien freak
I have an important character who's a king in exile (think Thorin but more of a vengeful schemer) and raising the (apparently human) hero, the protagonist Sigurd for his own purpose of "kill his evil dragon brother and reclaim and restore the devastated kingdom under the mountain, " which is called Nidavellir, a sort of Khazad-Dum/Erebor. The problem is that the basis of this piece is the Volsunga Saga, (it's a sort of Icelandic-Saga-meets-The Hobbit) and I have no idea how to integrate the rebuilding of Nidavellir with the more familiar elements of Sigurd meeting Brynhild on Mount Hindfell and awakening her, then falling in love with Gudrun (and in process, discovering secrets about his family).

edited 17th May '13 6:42:31 AM by MorwenEdhelwen

The road goes ever on. -Tolkien
 1180 Marq FJA, Fri, 17th May '13 2:08:41 PM from Saudi Arabia Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
O' Allah, save Egypt
As for the Yi and Nax(h)i not having enough clout to secede, you did as what I thought would happen if the country dissolved into "numerous splinter states." I do not think it wholly unlikely that under such extreme circumstances some unified group of ethnic minorities in the south might get the idea to secede, even if they are ultimately unsuccessful. Consider how the central government has treated such groups in the past; further consider what would inevitably happen in the West and how that would influence affairs in the East.
It's not a matter of clout, it's a matter of not having a big enough manpower pool to be able to hold anything bigger than a very tiny microstate in terms or territory (and that's assuming that they're not spread over great distances such that they can't form more than small warbands), and even then they'd be begging for a curbstomp by their much more numerous neighbours.
Ash-shaʻb yurīd isqāṭ ḥukm al-ʻaskar
 1181 Sharur, Mon, 20th May '13 9:20:08 PM from Dor-lomin
[up][up]Morwen: Well, for starters, might I suggest not feeling too constrained by either half of your source materials, and change whatever you have to tell the story that you want to tell. But if you really want to hammer home elements from both the Hobbit and the Volsunga saga, here are some ideas, although please note that my recollection of Nordic and Germanic myth is a bit hazy:

-Instead of Erebor being the huge "lonely mountain", change it to being an entire mountain range. That way, on the way to slaying the dragon-brother, Sigurd can cross Hindfell and meet Brynhild.

-Brynhild could alternatively be a kind of living Arkenstone. Also, she be the selector of the legitimate "King Under the Mountain Range", and the exiled king(or descendent thereof) marries Sigurd off the Gudrun to try to prevent Brynhild from choosing him.

I hope this helps.
"Calad Lacho! Drego Morn!"
 1182 Karjam P, Mon, 17th Jun '13 12:04:25 PM from South Africa Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
The imaginative Christian Asperger
I need help continuing writing a chapter of a fic for a friend:

Shane is writing a story that serves as a prequel to his mod (Shane's Cave Story {although he's planning on renaming that to Dragon Riders Episode 2} ), with help from his friends. The first two chapters are here.

I've been given the task of doing Chapter 3. Of course, Shane's waiting very patiently while my various procrastinations, school works, fears of actually doing it and writer's blocks slowed down my writing.

I'm currently stuck at the point after the drows attempted a literal backstab at my characters.

Current draft is here. (grammar would be cleaned up in the final version. tongue).

I'm planning to have them use their respective newly discovered powers to defend themselves while a Karjamian (a race of lookalikes) comes in to rescue them to take them to the magical school as well as provide a Info Dump on how they came to be (They're Draconian Inhumans who was given to a foster father by the Purple Karjam {a VERY powerful - yet benevolent - being who visits other dimensions and whose default form just happens to look like a Karjamian's} in order to be looked after till they go to school, since their parents were killed and the prophecies of the Darii galaxy foretold their importance).

To clarify: I'm stuck on how to transaction between the "literal backstab" attempt and how they used their powers to defend themselves.

edited 17th Jun '13 12:40:59 PM by KarjamP

[up][up]Karjam P: I'm no expert but I can provide a suggestion assuming I understand your question.

Kind of a silly question, but just how new are these powers? Did they just get them yesterday or some very recent time constraint? That's a factor in how they use these powers. If someone can turn invisible, maybe they get so scared that their power activates and they seemingly poof into thin air.

Next, my question would be to think of what power each person has. Think of which power is most likely to suddenly activate at the drop of the hat in a time of distress.

For example, let's assume one of your characters has the power to manipulate electricity. After the back stabbing, you could have that character involuntarily fire off a jolt of electricity from the shock of the attack and manage to paralyze their opponent.

In summary: some powers can easily go off from the heat of the moment. You can then use that person's impulsive reaction and display of power to have other people jump in to the fray. Alternatively, if you want drama: add a dramatic pause where everyone's kind of stunned and no one really knows what to do. Then, when the enemy tries to attack again, someone's power goes off and everyone can jump in from there. Hope this helps.


While I'm here. I'd like to ask for some help myself if that's okay. Can anyone help me out determining if this is an abuse of "The Assimilator?" I have a character (one of the protagonists, not a villain) whose power is based on Shapeshifting and Power Assimilation, but certain items have to be acquired from the respective victim (blood and mana)before the power works. Additionally, assimilating someone gives this character no experience with the victim's powers. She will have to practice using the power herself in order to actually wield it properly. Furthermore, any assimilated power she uses has its strength cut in half when she doesn't transform into the person she's copying (some powers may not even work unless she's in that specific form). As a fourth limitation, she can't assimilate endlessly. Should she assimilate too many people, her body will undergo an overload of energy and kill her from the inside.

Basically, my question is if that's a decent amount of drawbacks (seeing as that power can be utterly ridiculous in an anime with magic and fighting) for what the power can do. If possible, I'd like to especially avoid sue territory since that power is the backbone of the character's entire backstory.

edited 17th Jun '13 6:28:28 PM by AlastorVessalius

Because writing is fun
Seeking for Light
[up] In answer to your own question, that sounds reasonable to me.

 1185 Karjam P, Tue, 18th Jun '13 12:10:55 AM from South Africa Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
The imaginative Christian Asperger
I've already decided that the girl has water-based powers and the guy electricity-based ones. They've started to manifest themselves right before the literal backstabbing attempt.

I've linked the draft of the chapter so far for a reason. tongue

Besides, my question is how to transition the scene from the literal backstabbing attempt to the point where they have to use their newly discovered powers to defend themselves, not how to get the scene of them using their powers to work.

If I wasn't clear enough, I'm sorry.

edited 18th Jun '13 6:37:52 AM by KarjamP

Is this metaphor too flowery? (Fishing is an important part of life in the speaker's culture, but I don't want to overdo things.)

“Somewhere in your government, ” he said, “you have a traitor feeding secrets through the border. The accords between Wind and Fire are being broken. Would you like to learn why?”

“Politics is all traitors. I've no interest in picking rotten fish out of last week's basket.”

Alastor, that's a nice pile of limitations. She'll have to work hard to not bugger anything up [tup]

edited 22nd Jun '13 4:50:50 PM by LongLiveHumour

Sanity is quieter, but madness is more interesting.

My tumblr
 1187 Ars Thaumaturgis, Sat, 22nd Jun '13 7:50:33 PM Relationship Status: I've been dreaming of True Love's Kiss
Regarding the metaphor, I'd say that it depends on whether he usually speaks that way, and whether it's shown to be common in his culture. If so to both, then it looks fine to me, if perhaps a bit long, just as we speak of shooting fish in a barrel, or not trusting someone as far as you can throw them.

 1188 Karjam P, Sun, 23rd Jun '13 9:12:19 AM from South Africa Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
The imaginative Christian Asperger
And can someone please answer my question as well?

 1189 Septimus Heap, Sun, 23rd Jun '13 9:14:41 AM from Zurich, Switzerland Relationship Status: Mu
A Wizard boy
You'll need to give some details. What, exactly, happens during that scene?

Cheers, Ars.
Sanity is quieter, but madness is more interesting.

My tumblr
 1191 Karjam P, Mon, 24th Jun '13 2:50:20 AM from South Africa Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
The imaginative Christian Asperger
As I said, I've given the draft for a reason, since I didn't feel like giving the entire summery of what I've already wrote.

here's the draft again.

Basically, after they've discovered their powers in a kinda bizzare way (Jane tripped, and a puddle formed where she tripped (wish a splash. tongue), so they get the towels, only for Joe to accidently shock Jane while they both clean the mess.

After that, they found their foster father lying dead on the floor. They then saw the shadow, and the drows (unnamed at this point) tried to literally backstab the two, before they narrowly dodged the attack.

The problem is I don't know what to do next to transition from that to the point where they deliberately use their powers to defend themselves, and a Karjamian came to fetch them.

 1192 Septimus Heap, Mon, 24th Jun '13 2:54:51 AM from Zurich, Switzerland Relationship Status: Mu
A Wizard boy
Slip out over suddenly appearing water, Watering eyes, An electric shock when the others try to grab the electric-powered one are my ideas there.

 1193 De Marquis, Mon, 24th Jun '13 6:34:56 AM from Hell, USA Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
Who Am I?
Hm, electricity and water make a good combination.
“Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.”
 1194 Karjam P, Mon, 24th Jun '13 9:33:17 AM from South Africa Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
The imaginative Christian Asperger
I know.

To get an idea for what I mean, right after the literal "backstab", I had visioned them getting chased by the drows, until they're cornered and they get an idea to try to use their powers deliberately.

I don't know how to make that work, which is why I'm stumped.

Sorry for not making it clear. -.-'

 1195 Ars Thaumaturgis, Mon, 24th Jun '13 2:00:43 PM Relationship Status: I've been dreaming of True Love's Kiss
Hmm... But what, precisely, is the difficulty with that? I presume that they escape or avoid the assassination attempt, after which their attackers might simply give chase in order to complete their mission. The protagonists flee, but eventually choose their next turn poorly and find themselves at a dead end.

Finally cornered, they see their attackers advancing; desperation builds, until one of them remembers their new-found powers. They attempt to use them — to whatever end you envision.

 1196 De Marquis, Mon, 24th Jun '13 3:32:27 PM from Hell, USA Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
Who Am I?
Why wouldnt the drow step into that pool of water that unseasonably sits between them and their prey... zzzzzt.
“Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.”
 1197 Karjam P, Mon, 24th Jun '13 7:41:19 PM from South Africa Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
The imaginative Christian Asperger
Jane sprays the water on the drows and creates the puddle, and Joe electrocutes the puddle.

I was having trouble on how to make it work on what I had in mind, like how they are cornered and how they get to use their powers to defend themselves.

Since Shane and his friend also wants to help me, well, I'll consider both of your suggestions and theirs when if you're willing to give a suggestion.

edited 24th Jun '13 7:43:22 PM by KarjamP

 1198 Karjam P, Fri, 28th Jun '13 1:08:39 PM from South Africa Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
The imaginative Christian Asperger
If you don't want to (or can't) help me with how to get to the next step of the story that would lead to the characters using their newfound powers to survive the encounter with the drows, then okay, I don't blame you.

Can you please comment on the draft so far, please?

Here's the draft again, if you're too lazy to scroll up to my previous posts where I posted the link to it. tongue

 1199 Oh So Into Cats, Fri, 28th Jun '13 4:52:30 PM from The Sand Wastes Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature

edited 29th Jun '13 4:23:54 PM by ohsointocats

"Beware of the wolves. They were raised by wolves."

Eidolonomics: ~60.4k/100,000 words
 1200 drunkscriblerian, Fri, 12th Jul '13 10:00:52 PM from Castle Geekhaven Relationship Status: In season
Street Writing Man
Well I went and did it. My book is now live and buy-able. The Kindle version is available, a dead-tree edition will be likewise as soon as the proof shows up and I approve it (Proof should be in my hands Monday).

So far the response has been positive; people are praising it and they are finding specific things to praise, which is an even better sign. Now comes the long hard struggle to break myself out of the pack and get noticed.
If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed.

~Cora M. Strayer~
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