Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

I am no longer allowed to get my character drunk while in the same area as a giant stuffed bear, upon pain of death.

What if they're ugly?

Leave me a loophole.

Your momma's so dumb she thinks oral sex means talking dirty.

• Having the Redshirts state their full names and place of birth before a mission does not increase their survivability.
  • However, having them chant their personal details over and over in excruciating detail might work, provided that the GM is feeling merciful enough.

• Blunt force trauma is not an English tradition.
  • Neither is improvised weaponry.
    • Murdering the French and taking their stuff is no longer an English tradition.

• Sarcasm doesn't do slashing damage.
  • Sarcasm cannot do HP damage.
    • Even if my character is British.

• Portals are not for making anything someone else's problem.

• I cannot use explosive rounds in my sword.

• An infestation of tentacle monsters in a halfling village is not 'Japanese TV in a nutshell'.

• Kissing a halfling does not get you put on a list, nor does it prevent you from going near schools and parks.

edited 16th Sep '15 11:05:17 AM by TheManFromOutside

Question not my madness, lest ye join me in it.

Even halfling children?

No more adapting Mormon children's songs and calling them hymns. "Pelor wants me for a Sunbeam" is not an appropriate worship song.

Got a degree in Emotional trauma via fictional characters aka creative writing. hosting S'mores party in Hell for fellow (evil) writers

• Necromancy cannot be used to cure a dead leg.

• Cheesing a monster does not involve dairy products.
  • Or rennet.

• Unicorn horn needs to be powdered and potioned before it can be used to heal injuries. I can't just bite into it like it's a carrot.

• I am not allowed to target unicorns and/or pegasi just to make the bronies cringe.
  • Nor am I allowed to make a cape out of the feathers.
    • Super-gluing a severed unicorn horn to a character's forehead in their sleep doesn't turn them into one.

• A half-celestial Aaismar doesn't make sense.

• Dumping water into a town's grain barn is an alignment check.

• I am not the reigning deity in any tunnel, room, cavern or pit.

• I cannot summon periodic elementals. End of.
  • No one can summon periodic elementals.

• If I am asked to eat a kitten in order to prove my evilness I cannot bolt it and ask for seconds.

• I am not allowed to use rabbits, puppies or halflings as necromantic batteries.

edited 8th Oct '15 12:38:43 PM by TheManFromOutside

Question not my madness, lest ye join me in it.

Redcloak would disagree with your GM on the elemental summoning.

• even if we could summon periodic elements, summoning mercury to kill an aluminum golem isnt a good technique in a closed space or poorly ventilated room, unless you are immune to whatever damage mercury causes.
• a character who can generate lightning cant just channel it into their sword to increase cutting power like a high frequency blade, unless the sword is designed in a way to work like that, which would be very expensive.
• I cannot use the mark of truth to inflict pain on someone who says "antidisestablishmentarianism".
• there is no circumstance for anyone in the campaign to say "antidisestablishmentarianism".

Remember what we used to say? JACKPOT!

Just because you worship Hades, doesn't mean your level 1 cantor can just talk to dead.

• Especially if he isn't worshiping out of want, but requirement.

Tying a god into your backstory does in fact make you MC material. Telling the other players to act as background singers/dancers is still not allowed.

• Even if you get the dwarven barbarian drunk enough to do it.

AO 3 profile: goodygoody19

To be fair, Aasimars don't make sense to begin with. Every humanoid with a bit of celestial blood in them has the exact same racial traits? Including being Medium? No halfling or gnome ever got lucky with an angel? Racism, says I.

Celestial blood makes them taller.

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw

Well, ever notice how there are no half-dwarf half orcs or half-gnome half-elves ? It's always humans. Humans are the sluts of D&D.

edited 8th Oct '15 7:57:42 PM by Aetol

Worldbuilding is fun, writing is a chore

@rika: Well, if we are talking about Pathfinder instead of D&D...

There is book that has different heritages from different types of celestials and there is Bastards of Golarion that does include rules if you want to make non human aasimars and tieflings little different xP

Anyway, yeah, I find it amusing that you can have tiefling with fiendish blood trait xP Its kinda redundant

edited 8th Oct '15 9:28:37 PM by SpookyMask

No longer allowed to use or create "canned sorcerer."

• No longer allowed to can anything.

Not me, but a friend.

“Not a promise, not an oath, or a malediction or a curse. Inevitable." - Taylor Hebert

It strips away what makes us unique, says I! Can an aasimar dwarf use stonecunning? Can an aasimar elf trance? Can an aasimar halfling enter Bag End without ducking! I say thee nay!

If I ever make a D&D-esque world, humans will have precisely that reputation for precisely that reason. It's all nasty stereotyping, though. Dwarves can hook up with orcs and gnomes with elves all they want, they just aren't gonna prove it by popping any kids.

And there's this 3rd-party 3.0 sourcebook I found called Bastards & Bloodline that actually had a lot of that shit. Half-orgres and halfling-goblin crosses and suchlike.

My gripe about them goes back to 3.5, before we had your precious "variant racial traits" and your "archetypes" and your "magic creation rules that don't leave you trailing in levels for the rest of your career."

Eh, D&D has lot of weird things that make no sense at all, but are now grandfathered in xD

There's a (I assume) 3rd party D&D 3.5 book about sexual issues. It includes pregnancy durations and fertility rates for most known races and cross-race fertility rates. Humans stand out by being able to reproduce with a large number of other races (while many crosses are outright impossible). Dragons are the other exception, due to their ability to polymorph (and they also have complete control over their own fertility, and possibly their partners').

edited 9th Oct '15 6:34:13 AM by Khudzlin

Dragons don't have the same reputation as humans because everyone's a bit too nervous to make fun of them for it.

But everyone also pretty sure that's why they always ask for virgin sacrifices.

"Canada Day is over, and now begins the endless dark of the Canada Night."

I don't think so. They can polymorph to get some action. Virgin sacrifices is because virgins taste better.

And virgins are surprisingly high in vitamins B,C, and E. As well as low in carbs.

The existence of the World Serpent does not justify me wanting to build a Norse Scion with a Svartalf build Jaeger named "Runic Thunder"

edited 9th Oct '15 1:52:46 PM by 3of4

"You can reply to this Message!"

I cannot summon Kryptonite Elementals in the DC Setting.

Or Outside the DC setting, it doesn't exist there.

The allotrope of the carbon elemental must be specified on creation.

No creating diamond elementals without material components.

What about fullerne elementals?

Shhhh, my GM isn't very chemistry savy. He's letting pencil lead elementals go for right now.