Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG:

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1051 Rationalinsanity19th Jul 2012 08:24:39 PM from Nova Scotia, Canada , Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Earth Over All
No longer allowed to create a montage of my Inquisitor's list of criminal offenses (the fact that he is above the law notwithstanding).
  • Doubly so if its set to "I Fought the Law" by the Bobby Fuller Four.

edited 19th Jul '12 9:17:56 PM by Rationalinsanity

1052 EviIPaladin19th Jul 2012 09:06:32 PM from Burlington, ON , Relationship Status: Noddin' my head like yeah
Some Guy Or Something
  • Putting a door in front of the Cathar soldier with a vibro-ax named Muphassa the Smashiest will not slow him down.
    • In fact, putting two doors won't help much either.
  • When in doubt, make an NPC an undercover cop.
  • "Plot Advancement" is not a trainable skill.
    • Even if it was, I, the GM, would have penalties to it.
  • "Do you want to get Lucky?" is not an appropriate pick-up line, even if your name is Lucky.
    • Nor is "Do you feel Lucky? Do you want to?"
  • Hobos do not give experience.
    • Nor do they drop loot.
  • Faking your own death to help a friend learn more about a racist supremacy group (as well as some stripper's pants) does not give experience.
  • Do not let the players continuously roll dice; it will only end in tears.
  • Throwing explosives down into a room with a dying innocent woman is not an acceptable option.
    • No, not even if they are stun grenades.

edited 19th Jul '12 9:06:52 PM by EviIPaladin

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" -Enlong

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" -Enlong again.
1053 HouraiRabbit19th Jul 2012 11:33:57 PM from Fort Sandbox, El Paso , Relationship Status: Hooked on a feeling
Isn't it amazing, now I have princess wings!
*Faking your own death to help a friend learn more about a racist supremacy group (as well as some stripper's pants) does not give experience.

Why not?

Also:

  • Ghouling an elephant will never be allowed. Ever.

edited 19th Jul '12 11:46:13 PM by HouraiRabbit

Wise Papa Smurf, corrupted by his own power. CAN NO LEADER GO UNTAINTED?!
Definitely not a weirdo
Looting a corpse to gain gear and valuable treasure is to be expected. Looting a corpse solely for the purpose of setting up a future bad joke is frowned upon.

edited 20th Jul '12 12:04:15 AM by CompletelyNormalGuy

1055 Pentigan20th Jul 2012 12:17:57 AM from Summerland , Relationship Status:
Fwomph
[up] I fail to see the bad joke, is there something specific about the corpse that needs to be mentioned?
1056 EviIPaladin20th Jul 2012 12:56:05 AM from Burlington, ON , Relationship Status: Noddin' my head like yeah
Some Guy Or Something
[up][up][up]Because he then proceeded to try and convince a stripper he was a very horny and powerful zombie that required a lapdance. He rolled a one.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" -Enlong

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" -Enlong again.
Definitely not a weirdo
[up][up]There isn't enough to go on. I just looted items that had no use to me except for as props to set up a later bad joke. I didn't mention the joke because it was bad.
1058 LizardBite20th Jul 2012 07:45:44 PM from Two Galaxies Over
Not actually applied to me, but a list I'm putting together for one of my players, for future reference:

  • Skulls are not handpuppets
    • Nor are they hats.
  • The kalashtar skull cannot be used to attempt the summoning of Cthulhu
  • The guy who rescued you from an island and then paid you deserves gratitude, not the threat of disembowelment.
  • Threatening every NPC you come across is not a good way to get what you want or need.
    • ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE THE WORST INTIMIDATE BONUS IN THE PARTY
1059 Azreal34121st Jul 2012 07:22:37 AM from Wandering , Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Munchkin in training
[up]"Skulls are not handpuppets, nor are they hats."

Yes they are! They're skullcaps!
Right at that moment, somewhere off in whatever non-space the denizens of canceled game lines live, a Technocrat fist-bumped an Etherite.
1060 Kayeka23rd Jul 2012 02:24:47 PM from Amsterdam , Relationship Status: Brony
World's biggest wannabe
  • I am banned from creating a character with a combination of the following traits:
    • A deva bard
    • With a focus on knowledge skills in addition to strong persuasive abilities.
    • wearing a leather jacket, a bow tie, a multi-coloured scarf, a long brown coat and/or a fez.
    • with a custom magic item that produces whatever documentation the viewer might require to cooperate.
    • having no real name, going by titles such as 'the academic', 'the physician', 'the PHD' or any variation thereof.
People say I have a problem with authority. I say that authority has a problem with me.
1061 Exelixi23rd Jul 2012 03:48:31 PM from Alchemist's workshop , Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Lesbarian
[up]Unless it's Genius.
Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
1062 Muramasan1323rd Jul 2012 03:55:55 PM , Relationship Status: Not war
[up] That is always implied.
Smile for me!
Cheeky son of a....
...I'm doing it.
:smug:
1064 Nomic30th Jul 2012 10:48:55 AM from beyond the Void
Exitus Acta Probat
  • Burning the body and pissing on the ashes is not a part of elven funeral rites
  • Your wizard did not drop out of wizard school and doesn't have to repeatedly state that he totally is a real wizard with actual spells and stuff. He probably should occasionally cast a spell, tho.
  • The cleric does not worship the DM.
    • He also doesn't worship "the god of bashing in the enemies skulls when they're down".
  • Female dwarfs may have beards, but they do not, infact, have twice as many beards as male ones.
  • When the village leader told us that we can keep any loot we find if we save the village from the goblin raiders, that doesn't mean we can raid the village ourselves.
  • Being found in a locked chets in a dungeon does not automatically make an item magical. You can stop trying to stab things with that rusty dagger.
  • Inspiring speeches don't work on skeletons (they can't hear since they have no ears).
    • Don't ask how they can see with no eyes, then.
  • After encountering skeletons guarding the ancient hero's tomb, taking precautions when encountering dead bodies is probably wise. Desecrating the remains of the said hero and setting the tomb on fire is overkill, tho.

edited 31st Jul '12 2:25:38 PM by Nomic

1065 MasterInferno30th Jul 2012 11:14:27 AM from Ideal City , Relationship Status: With my statistically significant other
All Pop, No Culture
Female dwarfs may have beards, but they do not, infact, have twice as many beards as male ones.

I'll admit it, my mind went to the gutter, went directly to the gutter, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
You mean you took this post seriously?
1066 Exelixi30th Jul 2012 11:30:53 AM from Alchemist's workshop , Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Lesbarian
  • Even though the feat and class combination is right there, man, not allowed to base any character off Spider Jerusalem.
    • Or Hunter S. Thompson.
    • Or Theodore Roosevelt "in SPARTAN armour."

  • Not all Elves have Russian accents.

  • Not allowed to make the GM vomit, cry, give the Thousand-Yard Stare, or any combination thereof ever again.
Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
1067 imojee30th Jul 2012 02:51:09 PM from The Desert , Relationship Status: In bed with a green-skinned space babe
Be evil
I am no longer allowed to weld our VIP's* (armored)arms and legs together, no matter how much mischief they've been up to.

It managed to prevent their players from doing anything else until the finale of the session, which is still a success in my book.

edited 30th Jul '12 2:51:28 PM by imojee

Through the eyes I have known you.
Cheeky son of a....
They don't, Exe? EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE.

Well, at least we know ONE does, right?
:smug:
1069 Nomic31st Jul 2012 02:27:27 PM from beyond the Void
Exitus Acta Probat
The one in my last game had an Italian accent. Well, more like an impersonation of Pavi Largo. Didn't helpt that he was clearly chaotic evil (despite the character sheet claiming neutral).
1070 ROTHY2nd Aug 2012 09:12:03 PM from America , Relationship Status: Brony
Pici Generati
No longer allowed to botch a roll and attempt to re-roll under the claim that it was an epileptic fit.
Super High School Level Tropers get bored too, you know.
1071 Tehpillowstar3rd Aug 2012 07:11:14 PM from the remains of the Galactic Federation fleet , Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
Giant alien spiders are no joke.
I am not allowed to forget to add clothes for my character.

I am not allowed to blow up the DM's character.

I am not allowed to set aflame a smoke cover made of flour while the DM's character is still in the floury-room.

I am not allowed to roll 3 natural sixes for explosion damage for a bomb in a pit full of corpses while the DM's character is in there, fighting a zombie.

Hilariously, this all happened within the same campaign. Except the third one didn't happen. And the DM's character didn't die. Yet.

edited 3rd Aug '12 7:12:07 PM by Tehpillowstar

"Life is eternal; and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight." -R. W. Raymond
1072 LizardBite3rd Aug 2012 07:58:19 PM from Two Galaxies Over
Something I had to ban a player from doing in the Eberron campaign I'm running:

  • No speculating about the benefits of owning a Changeling slave
    • Especially if your speculating out loud
      • Especially if you're speculating out loud in front of the Lawful Good NPC who's hiring you to track down a Changeling.
My bard does not have "moves like Jagger"
1074 darnpenguin6th Aug 2012 12:13:50 PM from one friend to another
Yakka Foob Mog
^I hate pop music, and yet that song just has a way of lodging itself in one's soul. Hm, come to think of it, that sounds like a particularly nasty bard spe- -SHOT-
Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
1075 CountDorku6th Aug 2012 12:36:25 PM from the Fire Nation colonies , Relationship Status: I made a point to burn all of the photographs
You're sort of everything I ever wanted
I MUST EXPLAIN THIS THING TO YOU
IT IS A THING THAT I MUST DO

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