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Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG:

 1026 darnpenguin, Wed, 13th Jun '12 5:47:51 AM from one friend to another
Yakka Foob Mog
  • My dwarven barber surgeon is not allowed to open a stall at the fair selling haircuts and appendectomies.
  • Nor is he allowed to name the party unless he can come up with something better than "the J. Geils Band."
Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
 1027 32 Footsteps, Wed, 13th Jun '12 8:01:21 AM from Just north of Arkham Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
The 11th Grover
@1023 Oooh, I like that one too. Damn, there's a ton of uses for the magically inclined who has access to 38 trained gophers.

For that matter, gophers do gnaw on trees. It's like an army of miniature beavers at your command, ready for all sorts of fun magical enhancement.

@1024 This is why I have a personal rule: never reveal your plans to the GM until it's too late for them to stop it.

@1025 Of course not. A true bard has that as an Extraordinary ability, not a spell. My current 3.5e character is a freaking floutist, and he can basically pull groupies out of thin air. Damn shame Cure Disease isn't on a bard's spell list.
Reminder: Offscreen Villainy does not count towards Complete Monster.
 1028 Lizard Bite, Sat, 30th Jun '12 11:35:10 AM from Two Galaxies Over
Werewolf: The Apocalypse:

  • Create Element cannot be used for any of the following:
    • Summoning a tiny stormcloud to hover over someone's head
    • Staining mud all over a snobby party member's formal wear
    • Creating salt in an enemy's open wound
    • Summoning warm water around a sleeping party member's hand
    • Causing someone's lungs to over expand with air
    • Lighting the antagonist's cigarette for him as part of a long and elaborate plan to kill him via lung cancer
  • Open Seal cannot be used on skin, mouths, tendons, ligaments, ribcages, or any other body parts.
  • Taking Albino as my Metis deformity does not mean that I am Ghost.
  • My Metis also cannot use his sterility as part of a pick-up line when hitting on female werewolves
  • My Silver Fang's dementation cannot be that he is convinced he is one of the Forsaken.

edited 30th Jun '12 11:37:57 AM by LizardBite

 1029 Talden, Sat, 30th Jun '12 2:44:57 PM from my chair.
Second from the left.
[up] I won't lie, those made me laugh out loud.
A liveblog? In my sig'? That's more likely than you think.
 1030 Doryna, Sun, 1st Jul '12 4:01:06 PM from North Carolina Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
Smells of Alcohol, Tacos, & Shame
[up][up] Are you sure you've never roleplayed with any of my groups? Sounds like stuff we would try and do to annoy the ST. Nicely done.

 1031 Evi I Paladin, Sun, 1st Jul '12 10:15:54 PM from Burlington, ON Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
Some Guy Or Something
Never use the words 'red' or 'terrible' to describe anything around my current group; it will derail into a bitchfest about how red and terrible the gravity is for approximately 4 minutes and 32 seconds.

edited 1st Jul '12 10:16:06 PM by EviIPaladin

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" -Enlong

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" -Enlong again.
 1032 darnpenguin, Mon, 2nd Jul '12 11:52:10 AM from one friend to another
Yakka Foob Mog
Lizard: Don't forget: Once you've got everyone calling you a Malkovian, you must immediately start insisting that you're a Ventrue and you have no idea what they're talking about.
Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
 1033 Blue Ninja 0, Fri, 6th Jul '12 7:34:42 PM from The Middle of Nowhere Relationship Status: She's holding a very large knife
Slowly dying on the inside
The halfling is a master of stealth and shadows, not "unable to find his ass with both hands".

The correct spell name is Detonation, not Durka Jyhad.

[up] What about a Malkovian who thinks he's a Venture?
Once the avalanche has started, it is too late for the pebbles to cast their vote. - Ambassador Kosh
 1034 Master Inferno, Fri, 6th Jul '12 9:48:19 PM from Ideal City Relationship Status: Cast away
All Pop, No Culture
  • "Public urination" is not a feat and I cannot take ranks in it, no matter how Chaotic Neutral I am.
    • Cannot get role-playing XP for making my character urinate in public, no matter how in-character it is.
      • Unless it has a useful purpose like putting out a fire or something.
I'm in the apocalypse business.
 1035 Kyle Jacobs, Fri, 6th Jul '12 9:50:34 PM from Connecticut/D.C.
Nice Guy
If you really, REALLY want it that badly, you do have one option...
Read Remus! Has nothing to do with wolves.
 1036 Evi I Paladin, Sat, 7th Jul '12 6:37:06 AM from Burlington, ON Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
Some Guy Or Something
  • I am not allowed to give up on my own set pieces with extreme ease.
    • Especially if giving up on them would result in the 6-man level 3 party confronting 4 level 9 bosses and a dozen mooks.
      • Especially especially if a single one of those level 9 bosses can one-hit kill the party's tankiest member*.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" -Enlong

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" -Enlong again.
 1037 Slendid Suit, Tue, 10th Jul '12 6:50:03 AM from North of the South and South of the North
Has Spiffy Shoes
  1. Setting a school on fire to distract a bunch of cultists is no longer a viable strategy.
  2. For the sake of the DM's sanity, I may no longer leap off four-mile-high cliffs, regardless of how valuable the magic sword I dropped is.
  3. The Life Drain effect that Divine Magic has in Dark Sun is not and offensive weapon and will only end in tears.
  4. Being a member of a country's secret police does not give my Halfling the right to shout "Go team Gestapo!" before undertaking any task.
  5. In Vampire: No, Dominate does not work on incoming rockets. It still wouldn't even if they were guided.
  6. a Furthermore, even with Resilience I cannot "take the sucker head-on".

edited 10th Jul '12 6:51:54 AM by SlendidSuit

"Hey, you could tweet people's sigs!" "...but why would you want to?"
 1038 Hourai Rabbit, Tue, 17th Jul '12 12:50:28 PM from Mordor, otherwise known as El Paso
Do pushups.
Some weird and wonderful stuff from my gaming group. Since we play mainly Star Wars Tabletop, most of the rules are from there.

  • 1. Cannot name any character after a drinking establishment.
  • 2. I am banned from attempting to use Mind Trick for humanitarian reasons.
  • 3. I am required to complete a basic firearm safety course before using Force Slam.
  • 4. I am forbidden from using Force Slam even if I take a basic firearm safety course.
  • 5. I am no longer to be entrusted with the controls to any prison cell blocks.
  • 6. Even if the rules allow it, I can't charge in a serpentine fashion.
  • 7. If a session causes every player and the GM to develop headaches, I did something wrong.
  • 8. What happens in Trandoshan prison stays in Trandoshan prison.
  • 9. I am required to write down every name I hear during gameplay.
  • 10. I have not had enough of their disingenuous assertions.
  • 11. The Mandalorian pirate captain's name is "Dura Jekt", not "Captain Jack".
  • 12. My Jedi cannot deflect blaster bolts with the power of my imagination.
  • 13. Any idea that causes the GM to cradle his head in his hands for more than 2 minutes is automatically vetoed.
  • 14. The South will not rise again under my Ventrue's guiding hand.
  • 15. Despite my insistence to the contrary, alcohol is in fact illegal during the Prohibition era.
  • 16. The only time I am allowed to suggest playing a reformed Black Spiral Dancer is in jest.
  • 17. There is no such knightly order as the Venerable Order of the Blue Falcon.

edited 17th Jul '12 12:58:19 PM by HouraiRabbit

Wise Papa Smurf, corrupted by his own power. CAN NO LEADER GO UNTAINTED?!
 1039 Azreal 341, Wed, 18th Jul '12 6:32:39 AM from Wandering Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Munchkin in training
  • I will stop building easily exploitable weaknesses into my inventions in case they are turned against me.
  • If I insist, then I should TELL my friends about those weaknesses!
  • I will lable the big red buttons.
  • I will NOT leave signs saying "Danger, do not touch".
YAAAAAAAAAAY RANDOM BEATINGS, GHOSTS, AND DEATH -Python of fire. Also Dwarf Fortress in a nutshell
 1040 Evi I Paladin, Wed, 18th Jul '12 6:37:09 AM from Burlington, ON Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
Some Guy Or Something
[up]But... But... You warned them!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" -Enlong

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" -Enlong again.
 1041 Azreal 341, Wed, 18th Jul '12 11:24:44 AM from Wandering Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Munchkin in training
I know but they'll push it anyway, I just know it.evil grin
YAAAAAAAAAAY RANDOM BEATINGS, GHOSTS, AND DEATH -Python of fire. Also Dwarf Fortress in a nutshell
 1042 darnpenguin, Thu, 19th Jul '12 10:18:17 AM from one friend to another
Yakka Foob Mog
  • Even if I'm at 1 vitae, not allowed to diablerize myself.
  • Not allowed to dump all my experience points into blood potency just to make a bloodline with an amusing weakness.
    • Nor can my mage dump all his experience into gnosis just to get bigger paradox rolls.
  • Allocating all my character's dots to resistance stats just because I "don't want to be a min-maxer" is also frowned upon.
  • My vampire cannot keep his enemies at bay just by making his haven in a steel mill.
    • Nor will referencing "six aggravated damage a turn" cause them to go into rotshreck.
  • The Circle of the Crone does not drink "exclusively from potheads."
  • I will not make my Malleus Maleficarum an avid golfer just for the sake of making a Dogma reference.
Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
 1043 Exelixi, Thu, 19th Jul '12 11:35:54 AM from Alchemist's workshop Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Lesbarian
  • Not allowed to sing Fear of the Dark constantly during a horror adventure, no matter how sexy the GM or other players think my voice is.
  • My Bard's instrument is not the electric cello.
    • On second thought, yes it is.
  • Just because I speak Irish does not mean my character does.
    • Not all Elves speak in Goidellic languages.
  • Not allowed to speak exclusively in Eluveitie lyrics.
    • Not allowed to speak exclusively in Blind Guardian lyrics.
    • Not allowed to speak exclusively in lyrics of songs Van Canto has covered.
  • The verbal component for Inspire Courage is not "WHO'S READY TO MELT SOME FACES?"

edited 19th Jul '12 11:36:38 AM by Exelixi

Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
 1044 Kyle Jacobs, Thu, 19th Jul '12 1:26:47 PM from Connecticut/D.C.
Nice Guy
You. Are playing a bard. In a horror game.

Pass the Popcorn, this ought to be good.

edited 19th Jul '12 1:27:02 PM by KyleJacobs

Read Remus! Has nothing to do with wolves.
 1045 Exelixi, Thu, 19th Jul '12 2:21:57 PM from Alchemist's workshop Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Lesbarian
[up]In my defence, the game seems to alternate between horror-tinged adventure (recovering a magic sword that reanimates the dead and brings the black plague) to straight-up horror (trying to survive a werewolf preying upon the town we're staying in while the place is in a panic and closing off all lines of trade).

It seemed like a good idea at the time. Now? Even better idea.
Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
 1046 Exelixi, Thu, 19th Jul '12 7:24:12 PM from Alchemist's workshop Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Lesbarian
  • Not allowed to play Yakety Sax while running from a half-tonne slab of muscle and hate.
  • Not allowed to figure out that the werewolf being the duke's daughter is the plot twist two sessions ahead of time.
  • No matter how high I roll, I cannot seduce, frighten, or ride the werewolf while it's transformed.
  • No taming the werewolf.
  • The innkeeper did not "get what he had coming" just because the party had to share a room.
  • When playing a female character, not allowed to drop my voice two octaves.
Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
Cheeky son of a....
....is this the Legend game? What's HAPPENED since I left?
:smug:
 1048 Exelixi, Thu, 19th Jul '12 7:43:14 PM from Alchemist's workshop Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Lesbarian
[up]Nah. Keep in mind I play three games a week. (Technically I play two a week and one three times every two weeks.)
Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
Cheeky son of a....
Sorry, werewolf talk threw me off.
:smug:
 1050 Exelixi, Thu, 19th Jul '12 7:59:35 PM from Alchemist's workshop Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Lesbarian
Ah, gotcha.

Though I do have exactly four for our game:

  • Even though my character is a lightning Elementalist, the storm that erupted when he cried over his best friend's death was a complete coincidence.
  • Not allowed to switch origin story mid-sentence just because a word sounds cooler in Irish.
  • Werewolves are not contagious, and as such I may not just stand there and let them chew on me so that I can become one.
  • "Wrong place, wrong time, motherfucker" is not an appropriate sentence for Intimidate.
Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
Total posts: 1,894
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