- I am banned of making a cleric under the Chaos domain.
- I am not allowed to use bluff to bypass will resistance checks.
- If my reference guide for a character involves consulting 1d4 chan I am required to go back and try again
World's biggest wannabe
I am not allowed to roll for bluff on the DM.
People say I have a problem with authority. I say that authority has a problem with me.
978 BlueNinja02nd May 2012 05:05:07 AM from An Overcrowded Island
, Relationship Status: Charming Titania with a donkey face
Under Construction
I am not allowed to set ice elementals on fire. Especially if they continue to burn.
I am not allowed to use cold damage to set people on fire.*
We sit in a darkened room smoking cigars and drinking pretentious wines from snifters while guffawing about the ignorance of the masses.
WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT
I am not allowed to give the guy who says "it's not your character, it's how you play them" a character with 1 class level and 19 levels of templates.
...and that's terrible.
I will not use multiple crafting feats to take Wealth by Level and snap it in two.
Alternately, if players decide to stop showing up, I will not take their gold and magical loot.
I will not create a character who can use diplomacy to talk his way out of every encounter.
Yakka Foob Mog
@Steve: Remember, dwarves have thirteen livers and their beards are essential for converting argon gas into vitamin C.
(I may have helped overhaul that page into what it is today, by the way)
Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
982 Envyus3rd May 2012 12:11:12 PM from Behind you
, Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Dark Hero
No sqashing the Clerics summoned bug because it depressed him for half an hour.
Munchkin in training
If I've been cursed by an ancient artifact so that I'm unable to wield weapons until the curse is removed, sufficiently gelled spiky hair is not a substitute for a flail. It doesn't matter how long my hair is or if only the end is gelled and spiked.
Right at that moment, somewhere off in whatever non-space the denizens of canceled game lines live, a Technocrat fist-bumped an Etherite.
984 EviIPaladin4th May 2012 07:19:58 AM from Burlington, ON
, Relationship Status: Noddin' my head like yeah
Some Guy Or Something
![[up]](http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
"I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth, etc., etc."
"I have a Duck Dynasty OC" -Taco
985 EviIPaladin10th May 2012 09:27:27 PM from Burlington, ON
, Relationship Status: Noddin' my head like yeah
Some Guy Or Something
Never, ever, ever, EVER take a call during an online game in the off chance that I forget to mute my mic and never hear the end of it from the other players.
Never make cheesy meme references when I'm the GM. That's a sure fire way to take 1d20 damage for each meme.
While this one is old, STOP LETTING THE P Cs GET THEIR GRUBBY HANDS ON GAMEBREAKERS.
"I have a Duck Dynasty OC" -Taco
Fwomph
A called longbow shot to the opponent's knee does not have a 1D2 chance to force them into guard duty.
If it did, it wouldn't work solely on adventurers similar to the current party.
It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.
World's biggest wannabe
- I am not allowed to take the feat 'Skill Training: Genre Savvy'. As a bard, it's implied I already have it.
- I am not allowed to roll for Insight to see if our current adversary is the campaign's Big Bad.
- There is no Paragon Path called 'Plot-o-mancer'.
People say I have a problem with authority. I say that authority has a problem with me.
988 BlueNinja011th May 2012 08:13:28 PM from An Overcrowded Island
, Relationship Status: Charming Titania with a donkey face
Under Construction
We sit in a darkened room smoking cigars and drinking pretentious wines from snifters while guffawing about the ignorance of the masses.
989 Doryna13th May 2012 05:47:10 PM from North Carolina
, Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
Perpetually confused...
My Mutants and Masterminds character is not allowed to consider starting a catering service for the supervillain industry as an alternate career to hero work.
990 BlueNinja013th May 2012 08:03:39 PM from An Overcrowded Island
, Relationship Status: Charming Titania with a donkey face
Under Construction
I am not allowed to nickname our new temporary boss Gargamel.
Even if the first enemy we fight turns out to be only two apples tall.
When the mission objectives are laid out, and "Civilian X* must survive" is on the list, my response is not to turn to the cleric and ask, "You prepared Raise Dead this morning, right?"
Even if this turns out to be a highly appropriate question.
When Civilian X charges blindly into the monster-infested building, my first response should be to follow him, not sensibly kill the monsters already moving in to flank the party and hope to raise him from the dead later.
I am not to convince the elder dragoness to foster out her children the way sports teams change cities.
If I do manage to convince her, I am not allowed to act as her agent.
After using the wand of portal to fill an entire cave system with lava, I am to return said wand to my boss, not conveniently forget about it by distracting him with tales of the dragonlympics and skewering smurfs.
We sit in a darkened room smoking cigars and drinking pretentious wines from snifters while guffawing about the ignorance of the masses.
Shadowrun:
- If you are in the middle of a store and see a locked door to the management office, then you better have a damn good reason for spontaneously deciding to try to kick it down.
- When the storeclerk inevitably tries to throw you out of the store, his cries of "get the fuck out right now" are not supposed to be interpreted as "take what you want and go."
- When the storeclerk yells at you for stealing and calls Lone Star on you, the proper response is not to murder him
- When the Mr. Johnson tells you that he wants you to frame a guy by planting kiddie porn in his apartment, checking to make sure the computer chips contain what he claims they do is generally discouraged.
- You cannot negotiate with unconscious people. I don't care how many hits you roll.
edited 14th May '12 6:05:02 PM by LizardBite
992 BlueNinja014th May 2012 08:16:33 PM from An Overcrowded Island
, Relationship Status: Charming Titania with a donkey face
Under Construction
Your second point reminds me of a one-shot a while back ...
When rolling Computers, and asking, "Is there anything on here I can blackmail him with?" the correct response to a negative answer is not, "It does now!"
We sit in a darkened room smoking cigars and drinking pretentious wines from snifters while guffawing about the ignorance of the masses.
From Warhammer 40,000: Black Crusade:
Typos, even if they're in the main rulebook, are not canon. The GM doesn't care HOW the writer misspelt "magno-adhesives", Meltabombs don't double as tropical-flavored rations
Chaotic Greedy
How did he misspell it?
"And as long as a sack of shit is not a good thing to be, chivalry will never die."
Fwomph
Likely "Mango-adhesive"
It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.
996 imojee15th May 2012 11:12:50 PM from The Desert
, Relationship Status: In bed with a green-skinned space babe
Be evil
I am no longer allowed to say "Hail Sithis!" when killing an emperor.
Through the eyes I have known you.
Definitely not a weirdo
- If I am the token good-aligned party member, I probably shouldn't be using the hobgoblin prisoner as a pinata.
- Combat is not a game of "how fast can we throw them out the windows."
- Nor is it based around placing enemies underneath chandeliers and anvils.
- The DM shall make no more traps that can be disarmed through creative use of an anvil.
- You know what? Let's just make sure to limit situations where that anvil can show up (although I did manage to work it into the penultimate boss fight).
- The beholder will commit suicide before it lets me use it as a mount.
998 BlueNinja017th May 2012 08:24:41 PM from An Overcrowded Island
, Relationship Status: Charming Titania with a donkey face
Under Construction
We used an anvil recently in a boss fight ... 
We sit in a darkened room smoking cigars and drinking pretentious wines from snifters while guffawing about the ignorance of the masses.
999 KyleJacobs17th May 2012 09:19:50 PM from Connecticut/D.C.
, Relationship Status: One True Dodecahedron
More of a guideline, but: I should not make every single enemy in my game have a Body Horror theme. It loses its edge after a while.
Munchkin in training
Right at that moment, somewhere off in whatever non-space the denizens of canceled game lines live, a Technocrat fist-bumped an Etherite.
