1. "Fishing" does not mean "casting shocking grasp
on every body of water in sight."
2. The solution to the Kobold Dilemma is not "eat it."
2a. I don't give a damn if you've run out of food, you aren't allowe to eat a fucking Kobold baby unless you're Evil.
2b. Not allowed to play Evil characters just so you can eat baby Kobolds.
3. Cannibalism is frowned upon.
3a. Even in Dark Sun, it's supposed to be a last resort. You do not kill and eat the noble Psionic prodigy and his slaves because he pissed you off and you're "feelin' peckish."
4. No manipulating the High Priest of Orcus into turning the party into a free-willed Lich, Vampire, Death Knight, and Huecuva with the express intention of ironically killing the Demon Prince of Undeath with his own power.
5. The King of Ghouls' Coat of Teeth does not give out free blow jobs.
6. No playing a Warforged Artificer as a Gnome in a battle mecha.
7. No playing a Gnome Artificer anymore. Not after last time.
8. Surprisingly, yes, you can use your Celtic-themed Elf Barbarian's collection of the skulls of impressive opponents hanging on his horse to add +5 to an Intimidate check.
9. However, said Elf Barbarian cannot decapitate a Lich and try to domesticate its talking head.
10. Urinating into what appears to be an empty space in order to find out if it holds a gelatinous cube is clever, but innapropriate.
11. Dragon piss is not a standard ingredient in a mixed drink.
12. No abusing the system to create a Dragon Vampire to fight the Dracolich.
13. Not allowed to seduce the Illithid.
14. Or the Aboleth.
15. A prophecy of a great war coming in twenty years is not an excuse for the Half-Elf Bard to spend the first few days of every visit to a new town "siring future heroes."
16. It is acceptable for your character to become a god. It is acceptable for your next character to be a Cleric of that god. However, that god doesn't have its own Channel Divinity, especially not one called "Bring the Pimp Hand Down".
17. The Eye of Vecna and the Hand of Vecna are not excuses for your character undergoing Apotheosis to coax the Rogue into severing all your character's appendages in hopes of making overpowered artifacts for your next character (the above mentioned cleric of the former PC)
18. No matter how appropriate, no exclaiming "Can you smell what the roc is cookin'?"
19. Having sex with a Vampire does not qualify as a good reason to become a Dhampyr at 13th level, instead of first, like you should have, you incomprehensible dickweed.
20. No matter how high you roll on your Diplomacy check, "Alright, let's kick some zombie ass!" does not qualify as a Rousing Speech
21. Luck of the fucking Irish or not, you're not allowed to score more than three criticals in a single encounter.
22. There is no such thing as a badass check.
edited 17th Mar '11 5:12:28 AM by Diamonnes