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Tear this apart, please!

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punkreader Since: Dec, 1969
#1: Mar 9th 2011 at 6:11:17 PM

Exactly What It Says on the Tin Please, if you would be so kind as to critique a one-shot chapter of my fanfiction:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6810606/1/ (Warning: This piece is NSFW)

Actually, scratch that. Tear. It. Apart. (Please.)

Thank you!

edited 9th Mar '11 6:23:38 PM by punkreader

TheVisitor from your computer Since: Mar, 2011
#2: Mar 9th 2011 at 6:13:04 PM

An NSFW tag would be nice. Just saiyan'.

punkreader Since: Dec, 1969
#3: Mar 9th 2011 at 6:22:36 PM

Erm...good point. Adding one now.

MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#4: Mar 9th 2011 at 6:36:57 PM

—narrows eyes—

The last time someone said that, they got mad at me. Do you REALLY want this to be torn apart, truly?

Read my stories!
QQQQQ from Canada Since: Jul, 2011
#5: Mar 9th 2011 at 7:06:41 PM

As long as you can help provide where to improve. I find critics who take their namesake too literal, and veer in the extremes of saying so-and-so just sucks, provide as little info to the writer as a simple "Your Writing Sucks. The End." Mere bluntness is not a virtue.

edited 9th Mar '11 7:09:27 PM by QQQQQ

punkreader Since: Dec, 1969
#6: Mar 9th 2011 at 7:14:21 PM

@ Mr. AHR: Yes, I do. I'm mature enough not to get mad, don't worry. cool

@ QQQQQ: Exactly. I actually got a review like that on the thing, but I deleted it, due to the fact that it was more slur than feedback. Here, let me fetch it from my email:

"That was highly inappropriate, disgusting, and slutty. Please stop writing one-shots. In fact, everyone that writes one-shots should stop. Promiscuity is disgusting. Why are girls so slutty in these stories? Seriously. Stop writing porn. Nasty."

I deleted it not because it annoyed me (which it did) but because it was really just plain innappropriate in and of itself (to me, at least). I wrote that warning at the beginning for a reason, reviewer. It made me laugh, though, because of the reviewer's screenname: "Barack Obama". Somehow, I doubt the President has the time to waste on fanfiction. Really, now, doesn't that count, as oh, I don't know, false impersonation, which is a 'federal crime? [lol]

Edmania o hai from under a pile of erasers Since: Apr, 2010
o hai
#7: Mar 9th 2011 at 9:35:10 PM

Why are girls so slutty in these stories? Seriously. Stop writing porn.

lol

If people learned from their mistakes, there wouldn't be this thing called bad habits.
doorhandle Gork Side 4 Life from Space Australia! Since: Oct, 2010
#8: Mar 9th 2011 at 9:38:51 PM

Yeah, that's not the right sort of critique for the situation.

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