Happiness(OOC: Ooh, a beach. This should be pleasant. A nice place where a character could bring their family for a day out.)
Easily entertained(OOC: Sure. Sign me up, though I'll be grabbing a different character set for that.)
(OOC: I would suggest, you have one character only. Perhaps two. But three or more will turn this into an RTS game, and tends to lead to plotline confusion.)
Happiness(OOC: So a character and their child should do.)
Thunder, Perfect Mind(OOC: Me, too, though I may change characters or something.)
This post was thumped by the Shillelagh of Whackingness
Easily entertained(OOC: Alright. I'll give Those Two Girls a chance to stretch their legs, give them a chance to interact in a place where they aren't constantly looking over their shoulders for Men In Black, unholy mages, and Alice and Isaac. They're far less violent than Alice and Isaac, naturally, and this time I'll keep them from splitting up.)
edited 14th Mar '11 10:47:06 AM by KillerClowns
Go away.((OOC: Sounds interesting. Think I'll just pick out John. Perhaps from before he met Maria and Anthony, so he doesn't even have his supernatural gunslinger thing yet.))
Always touching and looking. Piss off.
An accurate depiction(OOC: A beach seems great. I have a new character that I wish to try as well, something of a monk.)
edited 14th Mar '11 2:11:02 PM by Morgulion
This is this.
QQQQQ: (OOC: We've put too much weight on our characters fighting mooks/other characters in these threads, treating it like it is roll-playing (i.e. Dragon Age or D&D) instead of real character development in the way of gathering relationships, friendship, complex love-hate feelings, etc. Fighting seems to happen with disturbing regularity and speed — this aspect had been present during the first two 'wonderful' threads (Bar and Nightclub, if you've been around the fora in Jan. and Apr. respectively), but only because in the Character Bar, the fighting was developed over an intense atmosphere of paranoia, suspicion and relationship, while in the Nightclub, a noodle incident seemed to provoke everyone else into uniting themselves and growing out of their limits. I think, though, that trying to keep this from happening is going to be a futile struggle, unless we set that as a guideline at the beginning; it seems some of the aspiring writers here don't have characters that are designed for anything else. You've hardly considered any other aspect of their character, and you seem to have little, if any idea about how to plot a moment that isn't "Be attacked, retaliate, blow shit away." I was attempting to avert this in a previous thread 'Snowflake of Characters' — named because I wanted to keep on the spirit of adventure, intrigue and growing relationship while dumping the tendency for combat. But that too also seemed to falter because we've also grown confused as to what's going on, and because we've lost the story's drive.This is addressed to everyone: I think the problem with the fighting was the lack of emotion. What the hell are they feeling? Have you guys ever fought anyone? My brother and I have a few times, * and I can say that it is not like skipping through a field of daisies — that's for sure. Also what is going on in these characters heads? Do they think, feel, have motives, or are they simply a catharsis for the writer's anger? Why should I care for them? Does anyone know how to control the tone of the story? I was enjoying that dark vibe from the whole Blaue Rose plot line, and the fighting jarred me out of it. Work together people! Communicate! I see that I need to do a few things once I finish this programming assignment... X(
edited 14th Mar '11 2:33:04 PM by EldritchBlueRose
So now I know that my lack of success in college is due to ADD — or sleep apnea. I need to do a sleep study some time.
Easily entertainedWell said, EBR — although in my defense, if Alice seems like a a borderline sociopath with no regard for human life... well, she is a borderline sociopath with no regard for human life. (I say "borderline" because she has a handful of intentionally arbitrary moral standards and is capable of forming genuine relationships, albeit slowly.) Going out into combat suits her because, well, it's what she does. She steals, lies, manipulates, and kills, and feels no emotion beyond detached amusement. That said, I confess to a significant mistake; her behavior made her come of as more a Heroic Sociopath than an Laughably Evil but genuinely dangerous lunatic. I suppose it's hard to keep her on the latter side, especially given that she's on the same side as the protagonists. If I ever use Isaac and Alice in a project like this again, I think I shall be certain to introduce them as an antagonistic force on the story. I was actually enjoying the love-lust-distrust thing Isaac had going on with Clare. Meanwhile, the reason I chose Aulde and the Sigil as my villains, as opposed to the simple gun-toting Men in Black, was to provide a psychological enemy to fight, one that couldn't just be blown away but would force characters to face their demons and explore the depths of their souls.
edited 14th Mar '11 3:13:04 PM by KillerClowns
I was actually enjoying the love-lust-distrust thing Isaac had going on with Clare.I too. I wanted more of that.
Meanwhile, the reason I chose Aulde and the Sigil as my villains, as opposed to the simple gun-toting Men in Black, was to provide a psychological enemy to fight, one that couldn't just be blown away but would force characters to face their demons and explore the depths of their souls.I agree. I suggest though, not to impose conflict from some supernatural force, like the Sigil (in my opinion, I can hardly care less what new devilry the Sigil makes) — but rather let it grow naturally from our characters. Something like the tensions between Clare and Gant, Clare and Issac. This is one reason why I suggest de-powering our characters next thread, to emphasize on our interactions instead of our powers. Who knows — Clare and Issac might have chemistry between each other, or one person serves as a good foil to another.
Does anyone know how to control the tone of the story? I was enjoying that dark vibe from the whole Blaue Rose plot line, and the fighting jarred me out of it.I think we can learn how to grasp story tone. Make sure to pay attention to the lingering emotions between posts, the subtext between what is said and what is expected for you to fill in.
edited 14th Mar '11 3:14:45 PM by QQQQQ
Easily entertainedHere's a thought: let's call this ended early, and make a quick summary about what we "learned" about our characters, what changes we'll make to them in their native works, and so forth. Alice needs work, as said. A lot of her character had to remain hidden to avoid spoilering my own work — she is a woman with many secrets. But I need to make it so she's an interesting character, and not just a boiler-plate Heroic Sociopath, before she shows any of her cards. First impressions count, after all. If my readers don't care about Alice before, no amount of backstory revelations will amend that. I should have never split her up from Isaac — he serves as a necessary foil. Without him or Sigmund, she really doesn't have a purpose. I'm fine with this, actually: it explains why she hangs out with them. Contrasting her with Gant and Vince's direct approach makes me think I should decrease her skill in combat, and differentiate her from the average Heroic Sociopath by making her too physically weak and mentally unfocused to do well in one-on-one combat against anyone with even a basic level of combat training, forcing her to instead live by wits and stealth. Isaac was too damn nice. His character is fine, it just didn't show up enough. Him turning a hut into a makeshift biochemical lab was unrealistic, but I worried in this thread, he was suffering a bad case of Can't Catch Up. In retrospect, I should have let that happen; he is already supposed to be a bitter, jealous man, who hates anyone who succeeds without hard work, and I could have better explored how being surrounded by super-powered individuals would have magnified this character flaw. He was far too kind to Vince and Aleister, in particular. I suppose I could justify it as a rational decision to not piss off superpowered individuals, but even then, I should have hinted at his jealousy more consistently. Aulde I created from scratch for this project, as a disposable mage. I'd intended for him to die and take down anyone stupid enough to sign his pact with him in a blaze of Karmic Death. However, I will be using him in future as the previously-unnamed overseer of another of my villains. I liked writing a Chaotic Evil character who wasn't Ax-Crazy, but patient, intelligent, and manipulative. You don't see that enough. The Sigils are going to undergo quiet a rewrite as well. They'll be getting a bit more independence from their master, and shall go from being mere messengers to enemies in their own rights. Perhaps a few ancient ones will be developed into truly independent entities — we'll see. The Eyes and Teeth went very well, though it didn't appear much. Some time ago, I abandoned the idea of having it communicate with bizarre, Orz-like speech in favor of having it communicate by burning images into people's minds, and I am quite glad I did this. Makes it more ominous.
edited 14th Mar '11 4:27:21 PM by KillerClowns
HappinessThis thread was actually my first time I've tried to make a serious effort to write something with the myriad of characters I've developed through this website. Anything else I've written was either a script-formated RPG that I've been doing for fun off-site, or it was a futile attempt at a story beginning that I could not mentally connect to anything else. And the fact that this was my first time shows. Oh, yeah. Thing is, most of my characters are completely different people when around a familiar crowd. Vince
edited 15th Mar '11 9:39:51 AM by CrystalGlacia
What have I learned from this thread? I had a lot of trouble with this thread because uni and sleep schedules meant that I was rarely here when action went down, and so Flinn missed his opportunities to react. For example, he had a gun pointed at him before, which he could have reacted to, but by the time I got to the computer the threat had been neutralised by someone else and eventually retconned. Besides, I felt a little like he was overpowered by a lot of the... dramatic powers and personalities of the others. All my characters are fairly average for their settings. And I need to work on how I write action scenes. I can't avoid them forever.
Be not afraid...
Hmm, it looks like each of our characters have much more in their backstories than what was first shown. I suppose we can drop hints about their pasts in their actions, and take the initiative to ask them about themselves. Also, we can try out mundane activities, like cooking a fiesta or beach volleyball, or a table picnic. The fun thing about us writing fiction is that we gots the opportunity to put a fun spin on these things.
edited 14th Mar '11 5:49:50 PM by QQQQQ
PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTYAleister: While I've nade many changes to the world of his story, his character has remained mostly the same. That said, I think I could have explored his past with Siegfried a bit more. He betrayed him at a crucial moment and killed many of his comrades. And he was his best friend. Long story short, Aleister wound up accidentally killing him after a Heroic BSOD-inspired bout of Power Incontinence and it totally threw him off the edge. I feel I did a fair to decent job with his PTSD, but I wish I could've thrown in a few more auditory and visual hallucinations. Those are fun to write, and I noticed they had decreased in number near the end. Damien: Totally just made him up. I was going for the Ladd Russo/Joker school of evil when I started. He was a totally flat character sadly, but I must admit, it was fun to write a character that bananas I'm gonna introduce a pair of new characters I recently came up with. I feel that they could use some developing.
edited 14th Mar '11 8:52:11 PM by KSPAM
I've got new mythological machinery, and very handsome supernatural scenery. Goodfae: a mafia web serial
vigilantly taxonomishGenovefa: In the context I had planned for her in her story, she was a comedic character, and something of a harmless (if at times rather malicious) prankster; her main purpose within the story was to parody various Internet communities. She was also a rather complacent teenager, entirely unsuited for action sequences and drama. She actually became a lot more interesting to me as a result of this thread, and I'm thinking I might enlarge her role in my story. She turned out a lot more sympathetic and pitiable than I was expecting, probably because she was so out of her depth in a setting that was so ridiculously alien to her character. I also had fun making her Wrong Genre Savvy, which was a new trait but one that totally fits her character under the circumstances. I suppose what might be surprising is that, in her setting, she is essentially an antagonist, albeit not a remotely threatening one. I think, had she not been poisoned, and the Sigil not shredded, it might have been interesting to explore how she'd have interacted with the Sigil; she was rejecting it, but I wonder how corruptible she'd have proven. I suspect, over time, she might have been. Kibest: This guy is a fairly minor character in his own setting. He would likely have proven problematic had I kept going with him because the setting in question is a distant future (so distant that it's extremely unlikely that he'd even know where the Yucatan was or what an AK-47 was). He didn't change very much; he remained idealistic and curious as I had originally envisioned him. He did prove rather competent, which I was glad at; he's supposed to be somewhat capable, but since in his native setting he's continually outshined by the protagonists, this had previously been an Informed Ability. Feidl: She didn't really get to do anything, which I'm rather sad about. That said, she's not the most interesting of characters; my plan was for her to serve as a slightly tougher enemy for the protagonists to fight, as she has superhuman strength and slight reality-altering abilities. I assumed that she'd be killed by one of the protagonists, but she never got to meet them so I don't know what would have happened there. Oh, and the fly: Was invented for this story. I don't feel I developed her character sufficiently. I fully intended to give her a heartwrenching death scene when she became stuck in some tree sap, possibly fossilising and serving as some kind of time travel-related Chekhov's gun, but there wasn't the opportunity.
edited 14th Mar '11 9:44:18 PM by BobbyG
An accurate depictionGant: It's interesting to see how quickly he regresses to using war as a coping mechanism. Other than that, I played him as a slightly more sadistic character. not much development, really. I'll be switching to another guy soon enough.
This is this.
PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTYI'm starting up a new thread. Expect it to be up in an hour or two. I've devised some new rules, so I thought I'd post them here:
(1) No superpowered showoffs. Focusing on powers more than character is usually the poison tipped knife plunged into the heart of these threads. (2) NO POINTLESS FIGHTING. There will be no fighting unless it is absolutely critical to character or plot. Any fights that do break out are to be resolved quickly and neatly unless, again, it is vitally important. (3) Try to keep the plot coherent. A complex plot is not necessarily bad, but other participants need to be able to keep up. So please, try to collaborate as much as possible on plot. (4) Finally, only 1-2 characters a poster, three maximum. This helps with the above.If anyone has any ideas for further rules, PM me.
I've got new mythological machinery, and very handsome supernatural scenery. Goodfae: a mafia web serial
An accurate depiction^ 1. I don't remember who suggested this in some thread or another, but all posts should move the story forward in one way or another, unless they're OCC questions/answers about some twist. 2. If an upcoming twist/action/whatever has not had objection raised to it and has not yet occurred after five posts, the next post should make it happen (which, incidentally, was the main problem I had seen with this one- we never did get around to kicking the crap out of those superpowered folk). Anyway, it seems a solid foundation from which to commence.
This is this.
I think these play-by-post guidelines can help as a basis what we're aiming for. Primarily, a moderate amount of character and plot development — like in any story. I also think we ought to consider foresight; what our actions lead to next. (Always a good skill to develop: whether writing, or chess-playing, etc.) Since we aren't planning an entire arc, we're writing it by the seat of our pants. The best reward I find is when you wind up in a very involving situation— which you've helped to shape, no doubt— and instead of just sitting there wetting yourself you get to do something about it. It helps if you adopt the perspective of writing a serialized thing part-by-part, a webcomic or anime episode, whichever gets you in the mood.
2. If an upcoming twist/action/whatever has not had objection raised to it and has not yet occurred after five posts, the next post should make it happen (which, incidentally, was the main problem I had seen with this one- we never did get around to kicking the crap out of those superpowered folk).Let me add something to this point, in which — you might have one or two ideas where our story's heading, and perhaps it's all building up to something. But what? In your posting, you also can drop in few hints of foreshadowing, as well as develop the background atmosphere we're sharing. If the others are astute to pick these clues up, they can act upon them — sometimes in ways you don't expect. This sounds good? Oh well. I think enough blabbing from us. Let's see what the horizons have to offer..
edited 15th Mar '11 3:33:05 PM by QQQQQ
The system doesn't know you right now, so no post button for you.
You need to Get Known to get one of those.
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