Have I Failed Sex Ed Forever here? How can I avoid Failing with yaoi?:

Total posts: [6]
I want to know, have I Failed Sex Ed Forever with this piece?


I feel like I have (even though I'm told I haven't). I'm not looking for reassurance - I'm looking for nitpicking. What did I get wrong? Can I fix it? What did I get (IMO, not much of anything -_-;) right?

I'd also like to try my hand at writing yaoi (funnily enough, the piece above started as this for yuri - I wanted to see if I could do it, and that resulted.) I know there are some big pitholes as far as the sex. I'm not a gay man, and haven't had much of a chance to ask the ones I know (aside from the whole, Awkward Conversation, thing). What has annoyed you the most in terms of inaccuracy/bad writing/Did Not Do The Research? Ways to avoid it?

Thanks for your time (and hopefully, answers - if not, I appreciate you at least reading the post)!
2 MrAHR15th Feb 2011 02:31:22 PM from ಠ_ಠ , Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
If you're willing, hand me your email and I can send you 4 page guide. I can't copy and paste since it's a jpeg.

If not, I understand.

That being said, your piece doesn't seem TOO bad, just clichéd.

edited 15th Feb '11 2:33:18 PM by MrAHR

Mind if you can share the guide with me also? I'll send you a PM of my email, if you want.
4 MrAHR15th Feb 2011 02:45:25 PM from ಠ_ಠ , Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
Well, keep in mind, it's a guide to anal sex, not necessarily yaoi. Should have specified that. Sorry.

edited 15th Feb '11 2:46:14 PM by MrAHR

Oh well. I've PM'ed you.
I've PM'ed you as well. I appreciate your willingness to share. Besides, I wouldn't have run away screaming or anything. I'd just chuckle and keep on reading - and then share it with my yaoi fangirl friends who would likely be grossed out (ah, hypocrisy!).

Thank you! I see what you mean, and I agree with you about the abundance of cliches. The two have since become an official couple in my story (Akiko is the main character), and Mikami has been reworked a bit, as a playful and laviscious noblewoman whose family knows and refuses to acknowledge her complete lack of attraction to men. Coming from a very famous family, they decide that they can't have a daughter around who isn't willing to do her part to keep them in power at court (through marriage). (I decided on Fujiwara, both for its importance in Japanese history of the time, and for a laugh on my part - because I like to Show My Work, and then turn it into as much of a Mind Screw as I can. Akiko's reaction when she is told that, "that...woman is asking for you again. The Fujiwara woman." is simply to be annoyed because she thinks that the woman who runs the brothel is messing with her head. She points out to the woman why that's really unlikely, thinking that she has proven her wrong. Nope, the woman's actually Fujiwara - but with a caveat: it's in name only, she's basically been shipped off, stripped of any meaningful political influence she may have had, and married in the hopes that it will "cure" her of her "foolishness". It doesn't, however, stop her from using bribes and threats to get what she wants.) The problem that exists the most for these two isn't acceptance of their sexuality, or (overly) jealous lovers (Akiko's husband, however, loses it when he catches them together, due to extreme strains in their already rocky relationship), but the difference in social classes that garners them widespread disapproval. Akiko, by working as a prostitute, has put herself into Outcaste status in Japanese society. Mikami is expected to hire "entertainers" who hold status and prestige, not go to "simple" sex workers for pleasure and affection. Akiko, who is illiterate, ends up using Mikami (along with several other people) to sign, threaten, and blackmail her way out of the profession when she realizes that she hates it, and begs her for money to pay her debt to the brothel owner. She gets it, but it leaves Mikami's accounts suspiciously dry for quite some time

Since I think I've bored you with the overly-long explanation, this explains it better (and in fewer words with less details):


Thank you - I appreciate your quick reply! :)
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Total posts: 6