I may be the only one to think it, but this friend doesnít sound like much of one. What the hell did this ďfriendĒ do while their buddy is obviously suffering from a crazy person inflicting harm on him? Thereís nothing this woman can do to keep this guy closer to her, so why didnít this friend offer their couch/bed as a place to stay until he got out of the relationship? Why isnít this friend protecting someone they obviously care for? Because they obviously donít care for them. If this story is to be believed, the previous statement canít be argued in any way; I apologize for my stubbornness, but you might have to have your head examined if you read this story and tell yourself the friend is justified in doing everything they could. There is always, always, someone who will help anyone going through abuse, be it male or female. Even if itís out of their jurisdiction, even if they canít be there to help you physically, there are professionals out there that will at least tell someone where they can go to get proper help to get out of their situation. I hope stories like this stay contained. We donít need any more stories about ďfriendsĒ who sit by and barely do anything, save for feel sorry for the abused. We donít need any more stories where the abuser gets away clean, or with a slap on the wrist. We donít need any more stories about a man thatís literally trapped in a situation without any loved ones, which ends up costing him his life. We need stories about men who make it out ok. We need stories where friends are actually friends and do something about it to prevent the abuse from continuing. We need stories where authority figures actually do step in to try to prevent further abuse. We need stories from survivors of such ordeals so they can tell others how they made it through it all, who they contacted, what professional services they used (if they used any), and any legal help they utilized. We donít need more garbage like this.
That's not going to happen until we fix the attitudes. This is one hell of a Catch-22. o.o
edited 26th Feb '11 9:49:37 AM by neoYTPism
That's not going to happen until we fix the attitudes.You mean weíre not going to hear fairly uplifting stories about people who make it out of abusive relationships (with a primary focus on men) until we fix out attitudes towards them? Please explain. Hell, ask any woman thatís ever been in an abusive relationship about it, and sheíll tell you that abuse, not just her abuse, is never ok. If a woman who was ever in an abusive relationship ever sees a man going through the same thing, and either canít be sympathetic or at least relate to him in any way, Iíd shelf her in with lying to get personal affection from everyone else instead of the decent human being sheíd like to be thought as.
"You mean weíre not going to hear fairly uplifting stories about people who make it out of abusive relationships (with a primary focus on men) until we fix out attitudes towards them? Please explain." - Newfable As in, they're not going to happen. "Hell, ask any woman thatís ever been in an abusive relationship about it, and sheíll tell you that abuse, not just her abuse, is never ok. If a woman who was ever in an abusive relationship ever sees a man going through the same thing, and either canít be sympathetic or at least relate to him in any way, Iíd shelf her in with lying to get personal affection from everyone else instead of the decent human being sheíd like to be thought as." - Newfable Or alternatively, that she might just be prejudiced against men and therefore assumes he deserved it?
edited 26th Feb '11 10:11:54 AM by neoYTPism
There have been plenty of stories as such. Of course, people donít hear about them as much since the majority of people donít even think about or know about female-on-male abuse in the first place. But there are men that get out of abusive relationships like this, and they do have a story to tell. The majority just doesnít get them because theyíre usually muted out over female-on-male abuse stories, which are apparently much more interesting/marketable. Again, people who go through similar situations in life find it easier to relate to each other through said similar situations; this is part in parcel to the reasoning behind support groups: the people in these groups, having gone through the same thing the group is supporting, can relate to each other, and can depend on each other for information and inspiration, having gone through something similar themselves. If anyone, regardless of gender, goes through a terrifyingly abusive relationship and speak out about it, yet do nothing in the face of other abuse, regardless of gender or sex involved, is just crying sick to get attention, which doesnít make them much of a decent person (please note that the last part of this sentence is based on opinion, and doesnít infer that just because someone doesnít relate to others when they can or have the opportunity to necessitates their implied inferiority to others who choose otherwise). For instance, if youíre implying that a woman believes a man deserves whatever they get, such as a woman in a recent study who cheers at a woman beating up a man in a public park, Iím implying that, if said woman was to find herself in an abusive relationship afterwards and still believes that all men in general get whatís coming to them, sheís not that great of a person after all.
Lv. 3 Genasi Wizard
Hmm, lots of comments with some of these posts getting really large. So I'll sum up my opinion in one go. A person should never harm another person unless it's to keep the second person from harming more people. Fuck gender roles, I know a woman who's two feet shorter than me and more than capable of kicking my ass, and she's quite a likable friend who just happens to have martial arts as a hobby and has an aversion to actual violence.
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