Help with a short fantasy story of mine.:

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Insert witty title here
Once again, I'm sorry for bothering you. I don't want to come off as lazy, stupid or anything.

I need help with a short fantasy story of mine. It's set in a steampunkish fantasy world plagged by Fantastic Racism against elementalists (because there were some very evil elementalists in the past). The story would be focused in the protagonist's interactions with his friends, and also, the discovery of a terrible secret.

The protagonist is an emotional sixteen years old noble named, who studies in an expensive boarding school overaseas.

His best friend (and also roomate) Leon died of an illness one year ago. Shortly before falling ill, Simon befriended a girl from another kingdom and the two promised exchanged letters. He died before he could answer the first letter she sent, though.

Leon began pretending to be his friend so the girl wouldn`t get upset, mainly because he never forgave himself for not being near his older sister when she died.

But the girl decides visiting Simon, and Leon's roomate (a mysterious Deadpan Snarker named Julian) explains her what happened. After some talking, she and Julian start suspecting maybe Simon didn't fall ill at all.

The idea is that Simon got poisoned by one of the teachers by some reason having to do with the Fantastic Racism towards elementalists. A reason that kept Simon sympathetic. Maybe he was secretly an elementalist, maybe an elementalist killed him because he had found his secret out.

Or even, rather falling "falling ill" Simon had "an accident"(as in, someone kills him and makes it look like an accident).

I don't know why exactly Simon could have been poisoned, and I would like some help with that. Please, thanks and forgive me for bothering you.

So... Halp?

edited 11th Feb '11 3:29:18 PM by risingdreamer

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it. ~Russel Baker
It's hard to say because it sounds like whatever you do with this character's motive will lead into a whole lot of plot. I guess I'd say think of what will happen as the protagonists unravel the mystery then make this character's motive for poisoning Simon fit neatly with that.
Away on the wind~
I'd say, one of them had a secret, and the other got too close and decided to do something about it?
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Total posts: 3