Mental differences between those who want kids, and those who don't

What are they? Inspired by this post.

I myself desperately want kids, but many other tropers do clearly do not. I'm very different in personality from most other tropers, so maybe there is truth to this?

EDIT: Typo!!! Oh dear God a typo!!!

edited 6th Feb '11 9:47:37 PM by TheMightyAnonym

Life is hard enough without kids flushing your earrings down the toilet.

edited 6th Feb '11 9:56:01 PM by Grain

Despite inspiring this, I know nothing. But I have thought that, for some reason or other, perhaps human societies need some individuals who forego having children and fill other roles instead.

Anonym is practically unable to be stressed, so kids would be a fun challenge to take up.

I am not sure that the difference is really that big. I think a good part of it is that people do not get along well with kids, think having them is a hassle, or do not expect to be in a relationship or financial situation where having kids would be feasible. Granted, I could be wrong there since those justifications for not wanting kids are ones that I kind of remember seeing here before, but I am not completely sure about that.

I do not know if I can think of any deeper differences than that. Maybe some people are more "mentor" types than others and someone who is interesting in mentoring or teaching other people may be more likely to want to have children. I do not have too much evidence for that point except for the relatively large number of teachers who have children.

I do not have a negative view of having children. I honestly think it is kind of cool and given how difficult it can be to raise children well, I have a great deal of respect for those who do.

edited 6th Feb '11 10:00:28 PM by LouieW

I highly doubt the differences are mental, rather than situational or ideological.

I agree entirely with Imipolex G.

There's nothing wrong with not wanting to breed. Even so, that's not justification for hating children.

Anonym is practically unable to be stressed, so kids would be a fun challenge to take up.

Pretty much :)

You flushed my cell down the toilet? D'aaaaaaaaaw!

Why doesn't Grain like kids?

One of the things that I dislike most about children is that they are ignorant. They do incredibly foolish and vexing things, but you have to forgive them because they don't know better. And then you try to teach them why they shouldn't be foolish. And they don't listen.

Kids don't fucking listen.

This is the part where some people go into Berserk Mode and beat their kids. Then they get punished by society.

I wouldn't go berserk. I'm a very peaceful person, so, I would just bottle up my frustration inside. Bottle and bottle and bottle until it destroys me from the inside out. Eats me alive.

So you see, I don't want to have kids because they would literally destroy me. I'm not strong enough. My mind would turn to goo. I would probably kill myself.

edited 6th Feb '11 10:00:26 PM by Grain

I admit, I kind of always wanted kids. But then, isn't there kind of a natural assumption that you will eventually? You grow up, you get a job, get married, have kids. That's just what I always thought people did. It kind of seeped into me in primary school. Are other people's experiences different?

@Grain Do you work with kids? Spent a lot of time around kids?

No, but I've had a string of bad encounters with kids throughout my years.

I'mwith funnyguts I don't think it's mental as much as it's simply a personal preference, that may or may not change over time.

It's just the "going against a fundamental biological urge" aspect of it that intrigues me. But I may be reading too much into it, or something.

I can identify with what Grain said.

Lipstick on the walls. Earrings down the toilet. Crying. Gross baby spit. Breaking things. Attention hogs. Temper tantrums. Public temper tantrums. If they do something stupid it's your responsibility. And you have to pay their bills.

@Imipolex: Who died and made you Sigmund Freud?

You just need to be good with children, is all. Some people can make them into little angels... while others can't.

edited 6th Feb '11 10:08:52 PM by TheMightyAnonym

@Grain And that somehow makes you an expert on how all children act?

No, I'm not a child psychologist.

I admit, I kind of always wanted kids. But then, isn't there kind of a natural assumption that you will eventually? You grow up, you get a job, get married, have kids. That's just what I always thought people did. It kind of seeped into me in primary school. Are other people's experiences different?

We do have a biological desire to reproduce. I think the rest is called heteronormativity, which isn't natural per se.

edited 6th Feb '11 10:13:24 PM by Grain

Personally, at this point in time, I don't want kids. I wouldn't be a good mother, and my own life just isn't good enough. As in, I'm not even going to think about having kids until we can stop worrying about how we're going to pay the bills and buy food. I'm also not going to think about having kids until I'm positive I'm not going to be the abusive fuckwad my parents were, nor am I going to think about it until I'm less neurotic and have a better self-image.

Maybe someday that will change, but I somehow highly doubt it.

You just need to be good with children, is all. Some people can make them into little angels... while others can't.

I can't do it. That's someone else's job. Someone else's Hell.

I've spent lots of time around small children because of family. I live with two boys ages 5 and 6 and frequently have to babysit them. I have had to babysit younger kids since I was about 11. They regularly aggravate me and further cement it in me that no I do not want children. I lack the patience and kindness to deal with them.

Personally, I'm terrifed that I'd make a terrible parent.

I'm laid back, I'm lazy, I have a very liberal opinion, and I'm currently unemployed (and when I was employed, it was nothing to cry home about).

That's the socially correct expectation. There are a lot of variations and alternatives and it's quite probable that for anyone who seriously considers what they truly want at least some changes to the default are very desirable. What changes are of the desirable type for each person obviously will vary.

edited 6th Feb '11 10:22:01 PM by ChurchillSalmon

Man really if your going to use 13 arrows you might as well use the [[quote block]] text [[/quoteblock]] feature.

I used to be quite distressed by the very notion of kids, but lately I've been getting a lot of angry wake-up calls from whatever biological clocks are there Had a dream where I got a girl pregnant a while back, and instead of being all "oh shit dammit" it was more of a mesmerizing "whoa, that's kinda beautiful".

I think I'd be fine with the messy newborn-to-toddler stuff, and from the teens on I think the right parenting could lead a kid into being a sheer joy to be around. The stuff in between is what has me worried