offensive pickup line

Here is the scenario:

Guy A introduces a female friend to Guy B. Guy B puts his hand on her arm and says something offensive/creepy. Girl punches Guy B in the face. Guy A laughs and tells Guy B he deserved it. Guy B gripes a little but admits he kinda disserved it.

So what did Guy B say?

Nothing should justify violence like that. Female is a bitch. If you wouldn't do the same scenario with a male doing the hitting, don't do it at all.

edited 24th Jan '11 7:23:06 PM by MrAHR

I second Mr AHR, here. You can keep this idea so long as you change the punch in the face to something non-violent like an eye-roll/sigh plus walking away.

Well, I know a few instances of men and women that would beat someone's ass for dumb jokes like that.

Depends on the woman's personality.

I admit that this scene is full of unfortunate implications. However this is not our world. It is a postapocalyptic crap sack world where mild violence is just a part of life. Men settling an argument with fists is considered civilized.

Also the girl is on a drug that makes her more impulsive than normal Guy A knows this.

Another problem, though, is that unfounded violence will kill any comedy in the work. In other words, people have to be in the mood to laugh to laugh.

Oh, in that case, it'll fit, establishing her as a twitchy bitch.

Then that just means that people will underreact to the scene, due to the Double Standard s involved. Of course, they'll overreact if it's male on female, so it's a lose lose situation.

Wait, if she is more angry than normal, why do you need a really offensive pick up line? Anyone will do.

^ If I'm reading the OP right he's trying to establish the guy as a bit of a prick?

In general, women will have very negative reactions if a creepy stranger says that he wants to get in their pants.

It needs to be something like:

I wanna fuck you, right now Or something like that. It won't work. But that's what you asked.

Would Guy A slapping Guy B upside the head for saying something offensive to the girl be more acceptable? Personally, I don't mind girls hitting me so I'm perfectly fine for something like this to play out in our world. No need for any crapsack at all!

How would this work: "So, are you good with cooking?" or even "I see you're only a third tier mage."

edited 24th Jan '11 9:04:11 PM by SandJosieph

"You're so hot, I'd crawl through nine miles of broken glass on my lips just to finger-fuck your shadow!"

...That work?

It doesn't seem particularly threatening to anyone but the person saying it himself...

I dunno, it sounded offensive to me.

hmmm...

Perhaps a physical action (groping) instead?

How about he slaps her on the butt? Having him get slapped across the cheek seems like perfectly normal retaliation.

If the girl is established to be a short fuse, just having him ogle her assets should be enough.

Maybe have him make an advance, she claims she's got a boyfriend (whether or not she does, it's common for girls to lie about this to tell a guy to back off) and he replies 'so?'

And given the situation, I see no Unfortunate Implications from her hitting him. If only female on male violence was allowed, maybe, but in a generally violent setting and with someone known to have temporary problems with self-control, it's fine.

"I'm sorry if I seem so rude.. but.. it's difficult for me.. to.. express myself.. when I am on the verge of.. exploding in my pants."

edited 25th Jan '11 8:29:48 AM by QQQQQ

I'd go for the ever-popular...

"Is Heaven missing an angel? 'Cause you got nice cans."

Just go with QQQQQ's line. It's insanely funny, and it might get you beaten up in certain places.

This one is a personal favorite, and I can see how it might play out, in context:

-he wraps his arm around her- "Did you know that my watch is magic?"

-groan-

"My watch tells me you're not wearing any underwear." -slap- "Oh, I'm sorry, my watch is an hour fast!" -wham-

QQQQQ's would definitely work, too.

edited 25th Jan '11 9:40:07 AM by Everest

That one is good. I'd certainly punch a guy for it.