Divorce

Well, there are a lot of ways this word can go.

So here you go and have at it.

Hooray for Divorce! Especially when there are kids involved!

*Leaves topic*

I don't see it as always a bad thing, and quite honestly, I wish my mother had divorced the abusive asshole she calls a husband.

The existence of divorce is a necessary evil.

The day my parents divorced was one of the happiest days of my life.

Okay, so: in Western culture, we find socially recognized long-term mates, of which we are allowed one at a time, by going out and becoming emotionally infatuated ("falling in love") with a series of girl- or boyfriends, until eventually a boy feels like committing to a girl by giving her an expensive diamond. Then they sign a marriage contract and are legally united.

Now, infatuation is passing. Eventually you're likely to fall out of love with the person you married. If you're the partner who brought less wealth to the union, you have no rational reason to stay married when your passion cools. If you divorce them, the state rewards you with half the combined assets. If you're the partner who brought more wealth to the union, you have every rational reason to keep your partner married to you, but no ability to stop them from defecting.

This is an asymmetrical Prisoner's Dilemma.

@occo: Hello, I had nothing constructive to say so I posted anyways. Yay me.

@Aondeug Lucky bastard!

Now, infatuation is passing. Eventually you're likely to fall out of love with the person you married. If you're the partner who brought less wealth to the union, you have no rational reason to stay married when your passion cools. If you divorce them, the state rewards you with half the combined assets. If you're the partner who brought more wealth to the union, you have every rational reason to keep your partner married to you, but no ability to stop them from defecting.

What about states that do no-fault divorces, in which you're legally allowed to only take what you brought into the marriage plus whatever your former spouse allows you to take? Also, this is why I think pre-nuptial agreements are good, because then you can stipulate the above even in states that have at-fault divorces.

The existence of divorce is a necessary evil.

necessary evil.

Somewhere in Heaven, St. Augustine is sighing.

That tends to happen when your father is a verbally abusive assbag who could do little besides cause trouble and frequently disappoint you. That and hit your mom one day. HAPPIEST DAY. EVER.

edited 24th Jan '11 4:27:07 PM by Aondeug

What about states that do no-fault divorces, in which you're legally allowed to only take what you brought into the marriage plus whatever your former spouse allows you to take?

There are states like that? Please elaborate.

As to pre-nuptial agreements, judges can throw those out at will.

^^ Yeah, in my case, Mom's never going to leave him because they're fundamentalist christians, and she's got herself thinking that she's going straight to hell if she leaves.

edited 24th Jan '11 4:28:38 PM by DrunkGirlfriend

Ohh...Damn. I'm sorry to hear that. My mom wouldn't divorce for a long while because she believed married couples should work through their problems even if the verbal abuse and stalking was greatly affecting her emotionally. Then he hit her.

edited 24th Jan '11 4:30:06 PM by Aondeug

@Aondeug ...your old man reminds me of my mother somewhat. I'm glad you and your mother were able to get out of that situation.

@Drunk Girlfriend So...she doesn't believe in God's forgiveness?

@Rottweiler Oops, sorry St. Augustine.

edited 24th Jan '11 4:32:44 PM by KCK

Back in the day, marriage was about practicality. Now whenever a pair of dumbasses think they're in love, they undertake solemn vows to stay together forever. Then they get bored, and the self-centered little twats get a divorce.

If you just want self-gratification, don't get married in the first place.

Back in what day, exactly?

We've since been stuck in bad custody disputes over my younger brother, but honestly those are preferable to my parents being married. Not pleasant, but the situation is overall an improvement in that regard.

My mom is odd in that she married because she believed it was the right thing to do and was convenient financially...

edited 24th Jan '11 4:33:59 PM by Aondeug

Back before easy contraceptives, when marriage was pretty much guaranteed to result in children, and it was important to establish who whas who's kid in order to determine inheritence.

I don't even remember when my parents divorced. Now I'm actually glad for my mom, since my father was a jerk who tried to ruin her credit as well as mine. And now he's getting divorced from his second wife. It was her choice, and I don't blame her.

edited 24th Jan '11 4:38:39 PM by nekoalexa

@Wanderhome: Well, contraceptives have been around for a long time, as well as bastard children. :/

@Rott: Sorry, I'm getting my terms mixed up here. No-fault divorce is where you can divorce for any reason, or no reason, which in and of itself brings some equality to the table. Washington State in particular is generally pretty fair with divorce proceedings, as I know someone who recently divorced his (now) ex-wife, and doesn't have to pay alimony or anything like that. They split the debt incurred during the marriage (mortgage, student loans, medical bills, etc.) straight down the middle, then let the two hash out a deal. He worked out a deal where the entire mortgage remained his because he was keeping the house, and gave her three grand to cover his half of the remaining debts.

There was no splitting of income, no alimony, and only a slight argument over whose possessions belonged to whom, which was settled pretty quickly. The lawyers wrote up the documents and sent it to the court for a rubber stamp approval. There were no court dates or anything.

@Aondeug [hugs, if that's okay!]

@ AHR Really? Just what reliable contraceptives existed before condoms? And bastard children were the results of how self-centered twats indulged themselves in the absence of divorce.

Sure. Hugs are fine KCK.

^They've existed in rough form since Mesopotamia. Condoms were a common idea.

edited 24th Jan '11 4:38:13 PM by Aondeug