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Let's Be Comfortable With Our Sexuality: Xchange 2!
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Let's Be Comfortable With Our Sexuality: Xchange 2!:

 1 Fawriel, Tue, 30th Nov '10 10:53:07 AM from the bottom of my heart Relationship Status: If it's you, it's okay
THE MEEK
Welcome, irasshai, something to that effect! Let's not waste too much time with introductions, the situation is as follows: Fawriel is sick, Fawriel spent the whole day at home doing nothing. The only possible conclusion is evident:

A hentai game must be liveblogged!

It goes without saying, doesn't it?

Now, I can't claim that I'm a connoisseur of the world of hentai games. Unless you count Katawa Shoujo (which you don't), it's been many years since I last (and first) played one... Which was Xchange, the sequel to this, uh, let's assume, masterpiece.

To summarize the plot of the first game: You're some science nerd boy with a standard-issue brown-haired and gentle hot childhood friend and a hot mad scientist friend, both of which, spoilers, want to bone you. As another one of Mad Science Chick's experiments goes awry, you turn into a girl, and suddenly you can't meet a single person without them trying to basically rape you, and because you are a girl, you are now automatically unwilling to resist any sexual advances. Well, there's this one time where your sister's boyfriend really rapes you and you can scream. It leads to a game over. Anyway there might be some explanation given for how this girl-transformation is like filled with pheromones or something, but maybe that was just my brain's auto-correct function adding sense where there is none. Either way, you fight  * your way through your horny sister, a PE teacher, an art class full of horny kids, a guy who got a crush on you, and a goddamn orgy bus, knowing that if you don't change back soon, the transformation will be permanent!

Sweet deal!

But, no, not turning back will also always involve your childhood friend and quite possibly the science girl never talking to you again, so that's bad. Because the happy ending of course involves not a life consisting entirely of mindless sex with strangers, but cuddlesex with your true love!

Indeed, rarely do you learn lessons so poignant and well-presented as in the wonderful world of Hentailand.

Disclaimer time: I will see if I can get a handful of screenshots without too much trouble, but obviously, I'll keep it worksafe. Heck, I won't even use any bad words! Unless I already did and didn't notice which is also entirely possible.

So let's get going! As I sit here typing away at the keyboard, the siren call of crappy synthesizer music beckons me to proceed! Grab your bowls of chicken broth and a bunch of tissues for blowing your nose, we're having a gender-confused feast!

edited 30th Nov '10 10:53:38 AM by Fawriel

SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH
Bunny
because you are a girl, you are now automatically unwilling to resist any sexual advances.

ಠ_ಠ
One of my few regrets about being born female is the inability to grow a handlebar mustache. -Landstander
 3 Fawriel, Tue, 30th Nov '10 11:15:59 AM from the bottom of my heart Relationship Status: If it's you, it's okay
THE MEEK
I start by clicking on the "Opening" option, which plays the... opening! What this tells me is three things:

1) It's not just the menu music that sucks.

2) Apparently Asuka is in this game. Confusingly enough, because your sweetheart's name is actually Asuka. Geez, game!

3) I was clearly mistaken about the protagonist being a nerd, because he is evidently an art student after all. That is, admittedly, a pretty sweet photo.

Now let's start that game. And the first thing I see is Asuka breaking up with me! Game Over, man, game over!

As he receives the horrible news, our intrepid protagonist, whose name I swear I'll learn one day, wonders to himself what the reason could be. He asks her, and gets the simple reply that she doesn't date girls. Oh snap!

As he wakes up out of this dream sequence that the misty background totally didn't give away, he realizes painfully that he reached out for her in reality as well, receiving a slap for it, and I realize painfully that wearing headphones during a hentai game is not advised. Alas, Takuya. Alas, Fawriel.
SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH
I am worried but strangely intrigued.

MOAR.
 
a goddamn orgy bus

Wha.

edited 30th Nov '10 11:31:07 AM by EnglishIvy

 
 7 Fawriel, Tue, 30th Nov '10 11:38:25 AM from the bottom of my heart Relationship Status: If it's you, it's okay
THE MEEK
Goodbye, music. I hardly knew you, but it was just not meant to be. At least the voice acting seems somewhat workable.

Asuka is still angry about the breastgrabbin', and saying "thank goodness" didn't help that. So, another slap follows.

... Did I say that this lady is gentle or something? Okay, admittedly, demonstrating a good morning kiss as a proper waking up routine by using your pillow wasn't the smartest move, Takuya-chan. Well, I hope you like your slappings!

"As you can see, she's got me completely under her thumb. It's quite pathetic, really."
... Our hero, ladies and gentlemen!

I do have to admit that he appears to possess a personality, which is probably a compliment for this genre.

She eventually leaves, leaving Takuya-chan to recap the previous game, consequently correcting me that the beforementioned sister was, in fact, a step-sister. Boooooring! Boooo!

... At the end of the recap, Asuka asks him to hurry up. Guess he was in fact standing there narrating to himself. It's a hobby, I suppose.

And we have a pantyshot of Asuka, who had to... glue... her socks... or something.

... 's cool.

She doesn't appreciate the ogling, so she attacks him and apparently rolled a critical failure on her dash attack because she lands right on him and the viewer gets another pantyshot. I wonder if I should tell the game that I don't care for those... I mean, I appreciate the thought, Game-san, but... I think we should see other people.

Takuya proceeds to lampshade the unlikeliness of her attack roll. I guess wondering the same things as the player counts as a form of immersion?

... Oh yeah, tell your strangely violent girlfriend that she's heavy, that won't lead to any problems whatsoewhoops she's about to strangle him. ... Wait, you can't tell her that she's thin? Because, dude. She's thin. Honesty is one thing, thinking you're being honest when you're an idiot is another.

"Asuka, you're thin... especially in the chest."

Do you want your possessions identified?

... WHY ARE YOU ARGUING ABOUT HER BREAST SIZE AND WHY ARE YOU OPPOSING HER oh Jesus God I hope that "*Whack!*"-sound effect pertained to his balls.

... Well, I guess he's pretty tough for such a whimpy guy. Be there strangling, be there punches, having the girl lying on him causes an erection. In a hentai game, oh my! But you need to get to school quickly! What are you gonna do?!

... Oh, it's actually asking me.

[Control your desire and go to school]

[Give in to lust]

... Hmmm!
SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH
I'm not certain whether the Akyuu avatar makes this better or worse. Certainly a bit stranger.
Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought
Fitting English Ivy avatar is fitting.
 
rrrrrrrrr
This forum does not have appropriate emoticons to express oneself graphically. ASCII express go!

:| upon discovering that this game actually exists, and is not merely a legend.

:( upon discovering just what the creator apparently decides to do with the premise of the game.

D: upon reading the previous update and discovering what a lust-filled asshat the protagonist is.
Sakamoto demands an explanation for this shit.
WELCOME TO HELL, BITCHES!
 
Give in to lust! Give in to lust! evil grin
 
 13 Fawriel, Tue, 30th Nov '10 12:00:29 PM from the bottom of my heart Relationship Status: If it's you, it's okay
THE MEEK
What the hell, this is a hentai game! Lust it is!

What, game? You're switching back to the still frame of the girl falling on Takuya? Really? Really? Game-chan, I am disappoint.

Using your knee in her crotch, though? Gotta give it to the man, he knows how to work with what he's got.

Being a girl Japanese lady hentai female, she puts up token resistence, but goes along with it.

"We can't here....... What is somebody sees us here?"
Oh right, you're pretty much right between your apartment and the corridor outside. Ahaha, oh game. You so crazy.

After Takkun formulates the brilliant plan of going inside so they won't be seen, he basically throws her on the bed and starts persuading her with linguistics. She enthusiastically agrees to this course of action with a loud "No!"

"As I sucked on her (kitty) lips, her mouth trembled with ecstasy. I deliberately made obscene slurping sounds as I started to lick her down there."
*slobber slobber slap*

Apparently Asuka considers these sounds erotic? Perhaps one should make a recording for her of a dog drinking from a bowl.

"I sucked on and lapped at her flower petals, "
You're the dog now, man!

... Hmmm, I wonder... *turns music back on* ... ... ... ... ... ... was this written as background music for some sort of town in the middle of a forest? Like, for an RPG? I feel this sudden urge to start looking for an item shop...

Stop moaning, girl, you're ruining the atmosphere! I can see the trees, the river and the fairies sparkling in the air...!

... Okay, this music is not painful, but clearly... miscast.

Dude, don't bite her vagina. You're already sounding enough like a dog, and... let me just say that that can go very wrong very easily, bro.

She asks him to stop and he responds that she's the only one being pleasured. That's right, bro! Stand up for yourself! Stand up for your convictions! Stand up for your right to get a blowjob! Stand up... quite literally!

I am informed that she has great technique. I acknowledge this factoid.

I further note that the exclamations written in the dialogue box don't correspond perfectly with what she's actually uttering. I am so disappointed, Game, I'm no longer giving you the honor of an honorrific.

"We're got to... get to school."
Whaaaaaaat.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

... Welp, since people seem to favor lust, sex it is!
SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH
rrrrrrrrr
Oh wow. That's... that's just hilariously bad.

. . . *makes some popcorn* I now see why you chose this. It's mockably terrible.
Sakamoto demands an explanation for this shit.
...

...

...

...

...Faw-mommy?

I'm scared.

...

...

...
 
 16 Fawriel, Tue, 30th Nov '10 12:10:20 PM from the bottom of my heart Relationship Status: If it's you, it's okay
THE MEEK
We can't stop now.
We're having such a good time.

We're having a ball.

Asuka: "Haaaah.... Haaaaah.......... I don't care.... any more.... if we're late... for school."
You just won the argument, bro! Highfive oh wait you're busy nevermind

Okay, her breasts are kinda small.

Her pussy was very wet now, which made sliding in and out of her very easy.
It's almost like that's the purpose of that stuff!

Climaxes approach, please mind the gap.

Asuka: "Haaaaah, aaah! Ah, oh! ..... P- Please, pull out.... Mmphah!"

[Pull out]

[Don't pull out]

... Okay, I made that up. He just does it. Hope you like babies, Takkun!

Asuka yelled, "What are we going to do if I get pregnant?" at me.
What!

You can't get pregnant! This is Hentailand! You don't get children, it's like in Duckburg or something, you just get a bunch of nephews as a coming of age gift, or something like that!

Welp, now we're at school, and school is apparently home to yet more kids with CASIO keyboards, so Mr. Music-san can shove it.
SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH
 17 Fawriel, Tue, 30th Nov '10 12:28:03 PM from the bottom of my heart Relationship Status: If it's you, it's okay
THE MEEK
The school is apparently rich enough to be recently rebuilt, and has a relaxed atmosphere exemplified by a chemistry club "notorious for experiments that cause its members to lose their hair, change sex, etc..."

I guess the latter would explain why the school is so rich, then.

Please stop posing in front of that background, you two, it's kinda freaky.

... Teleporting into the classroom without moving does not help matters, guys.

Some dude is jealous of Takkun and Takkun responds by being badly drawn.

Daisuke has never had a girlfriend. Aw? Oh, he was one of the guys who hit on female Tako before. Well then.

Aaand an annoying female voice and what is up with this girl and why are everyone's skirts so short and wait don't answer that one.

The girl with the sparkly eyes and mildly crazy hair is Yumiko and taking screenshots is too much of a bother. Also, turns out that the Japanese use the English term "gossip" to say "gossip". 'Tis a learning experience.

So Yumiko decides to borrow Asuka for a moment.

Borrow her? What am I, a video rental shop?
He says with a dopey grin that almost makes me want to take a screenshot again. Oh Takkun, never change.

Apparently our teacher is a slacker, as the boys exposit. Given that they take time to introduce her, I guess I'll be looking forward to seeing how that sex scene unfolds?

For someone who "moves to the beat of a different drummer", she did manage to sneak up on them from behind quite formidably. Judging by her face, she's the slow, relaxed type, which I sure ain't complaining about, yo.

"Tee hee. Silly boy. Teachers are pros at hiding their presence and sneaking up on their students."
She's suppressing her aura! Our scouters are useless!!

Class begins! Class turns into a cut! Class is over! Long live the class!

And now I have SIX options! Oh my.

[Stay in the classroom], [1st floor], [2nd floor], [3rd floor], [Chem clubroom], [Doctor's office]

Hmmmm.
SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH
 18 Fawriel, Tue, 30th Nov '10 12:54:06 PM from the bottom of my heart Relationship Status: If it's you, it's okay
THE MEEK
Well, this boy ain't no good as a boy, so the sooner we get him sprinkled with genderbendoxide, the better! To the Chem clubroom!

... Oooooor not. Okay, fine. Doctor's office for no reason! ... What, no reason isn't good enough? Why are you giving me all these choices if I can't take all of them!

"I wonder what's going on in the third floor." [...] "Now that I'm here, what do I do?"
It's your strangely empty school, man, why did you even suggest the third floor if there's nothing happening!

... He wanders around for a few minutes, returns to class, then school is over. ... ... Huh?

LOAD STATE!

On the second level of the dungeon, a wild Daisuke lurks! Wild Daisuke uses Male Bonding! It's not very effective...

"HEY DUDE ANY CHANCE OF YOU TURNING INTO A GIRL AGAIN" "uh no id rather not" "MAN THAT WAS THE BEST THO" "._."

Aaand back to class. Welp, let's reload and see what the first floor has in store.

A-hah! It's a girl with bubblegum hair! Stupid optional characters, you're not gonna escape me this time, Yuffie!

Yes Takkun she is very cute I'm sure.

Oh, but she avoids him like the plague! Ssssnap, bro! You got served!

Fine then! Reload and stay in the classroom. Bitch would've just stolen all our Materia anyway.

What ensues is a romantic lunch! Which Takkun of course proceeds to ruin by being all over the lady's food. Learn to cook already!

A war of terror breaks out over the food, with Asuka the clearly superior force in the art of chopstick-kendo! But then, he hatches a brilliant plan...
"Whoa!"
... I yelled, pointing my finger at something in the distance, and moved in for the croquette.
*Snap!*
Once again she blocked my chopsticks with her own.
M- My brilliant plan.....
I sat there stunned with my brilliant plan brilliantly torn to shreds.
I'll admit. I laughed.

"Baka."

Ah, love.

... He then proceeds to whine to get the croquette (god good please don't ever do that again or my ears will murder you), which succeeds, but then...

"If you just nicely asked 'Can I have it?', I would have given it to you."

... Can't really argue with that, but Takkun seems to be unsure of how to take it. Don't be an idiot, bro. You can get decent characterization, even if you live in an H-game! You only have to believe!

School ends, Asuka wants to go home together, dude wants to go to the club meeting instead, Asuka's worried about any experiments like last year. I am most decidedly not.

Blablabla club president, two new members don't take him seriously... girl's voice from behind the door: "Senpai, shall we get started?"

Oh no, she's in the with a man and he's all flustered and she's asking him to undress so they can do it like they always do and Takkun is like "oh noes, in our clubroom!"

"You pretend you're angry when really you're happy about this, " quoth the female voice. Huh, I guess it's not just the women, then?

Okay, okay, we get it! The scene is obviously gonna end with him bursting into the room only to see that they're not about to have sex at all, okay, okay, get on with it!

What, I get a choice?

[Emter the room and yell at them]

[Go away]

[Sneak a peek at them]
SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH
 19 Fawriel, Tue, 30th Nov '10 1:24:12 PM from the bottom of my heart Relationship Status: If it's you, it's okay
THE MEEK
Peeking it is! The audience wants immorality and scandal!

Actually, all choices lead to the same thing: Enter room, see girl forcing guy out of his shirt trying to force him into an experiment.

Not satisfied with this, our hero decides that it is his holy mission to find out what the "hard thick thing" is! Or something like that.

Oh, Kouji is the guy who lost his virginity to fem!Takkun on the school roof. How cute.

But for some reason even now, he says he still likes me as a guy.
QUICK SEARCH ALL AVAILABLE WALKTHROUGHS FOR THE HIDDEN YAOI SCENE IT MUST BE THERE SOMEWHERE

He looks pretty good wearing shorts[...]
LOOK IT'S CANON

Okay enough of that. Takkun, spend another couple minutes expositing about the girl why dontcha.

Crazy, wants to surpass previous mad science lady...

She's part of our Chemistry Club, but she also likes biology, science and physics.
Biology and physics I can buy, but science?! Certainly you jest!

She approaches Takkun now.
"Surely, you udnerstand the value of my innovative, spectacular experiments."
Yes I understand that they will turn the girl into a girl like I've been waiting for for like two hours now GET TO IT ALREADY

She guilt-trips him for rarely appearing to class meetings, but he tries to use his authority to send in Kouji as cannonfodder instead.

"Are you just going to abandon me like that, Senpai?! Even though we were lovers before?!"
[drama button]

Oh, this is rich. Kouji is being all dramatic about how they had passionate sex before and Chisato is like "nigga whaaaat?"

Her confusion is dispelled by distracting her with a science bomb, by which I mean asking her to explain her experiment.

Which she does.

Pituitary gland, eh...?

So basically, her experiment is supposed to use electromagnetic waves to make you smarter. She also proceeds to explain the side-effect of the machine... which is that it makes you taller!

"T-taller?"

My god, that throw-away line about him being short in the beginning was, like, expert foreshadowing! I'm clearly not doing the story justice by just cherrypicking lines! This piece of art is like a perfect clockwork!

If that's true, my dream of being 170 centimeters tall (5'8'') could come true...
I give the game a manly nod for letting me feel tall for just a moment in my short life. The nod is returned.

... and then I could look down at Asuka.
Dude, I want to be able to read your lines like you're a misogynist asshole, but given the medium we are communication via, the odds are stacked against you.

He starts laughing evily, creeping out Chisato a little.

All right! With that machine, I can become a real man!

...

...

SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH
 20 Goggle Fox, Tue, 30th Nov '10 1:40:12 PM from Acadia, yo.
rrrrrrrrr
. . .

This is even stupider than I thought it would be.
Sakamoto demands an explanation for this shit.
 21 Fawriel, Tue, 30th Nov '10 2:12:25 PM from the bottom of my heart Relationship Status: If it's you, it's okay
THE MEEK
She's got her testee!

"So this is the growing machine..."
More like BREAST GROWING MACHINE, amirite?!

RITE?!

Chisato proceeds to act like she's going to sell that machine to Takkun or the audience ("Buy now on j-list.com and receive a complimentary Konata body pillow!").

Welp, looks like she used up the whole year's budget on that machine. This had better be worth it.

Hee hee hee.

"Well, if it'll make you taller, isn't it worth it? Now, take off your shirt and step inside please."
Why, yes, do take off your shirt. I'm sure there's a plausible reason for that, but I don't want to know what it is.

Okay, suction cups would be a good explanation, yeah. What's that thing on his head, though? A headset. "Headset?"

"A headset is..."[...]"... a device with a receiver and a transmitter, mainly used by pilots. But in this machine it's an interface for measuring brainwave levels."

She only uses words I don't understand. I have no clue.
Tako, darling, I will assume for your sake that that this explanation was harder to understand in Japanese.

I like how I skipped her voice explaining that the belt around his chest is there to restrain him because leaving the machine during the operation would be dangerous, and it went straight to his nervous face. I gave the game a real silent beat! I'm the director! It's me.

"Say, this has already passed preliminary experiments, right?
The answer is silence.

Enough of the famous last words! PULL THE SWITCH ALREADY

... So they tested it on rats and the rats got fried? Game, you are trying a little too hard there. Dare I say that my willing suspension of disbelief is in danger? Dare I?!

She proceeds to explain that she calculated a 99.9% success rate. In the spirit of our great master, this is, of course, as good as 0%!

"Testee body readings, normal... Testee mental readings, more or less normal..."
The voice actress did a pretty good job there with the comedic timing, so yay for that.

Takkun seems amazed at the idea of things going okay. So does Kouji. ... What's wrong with you guys! No government would allow this, much less a school, and-

Suddenly the suction cups are heating up. Takkun informs me that the Japanese term for "hot" is in fact "atsui" and not "otsui" as I picked up. He is thus no longer my friend.

Cue classic comedy routine. "There's smoke? Is something going wrong?" "Nah, if something was wrong, there would be an alarm!" "What kind of an alarm?" [siren sound] "Like that!" "Oooh, I see. ... ... WAIT"

She fiddles with the controls, it gives an "Improper interrupt" error message but she claims not to have done anything and oh man the tension is killing me he has to press the red button to shut down the machine HE PRESSED THE RED BUTTON

"That's not the red button. That's the brown button!"

"Then this one!" [click]

"No! That's the scarlet button!"

And because Rule of Three is love, he now presses the maroon button. Nice knowing ya, bro!

It activates the obligatory self-destruct sequence. Huh. Why did she put something like that in? Because... she likes self-destruct functions. As good a reason as any.

"Chisato!"

"..."

"Chisato!!"

"...

Senpai, we didn't know each other very long, but I am indebted to you, " she says in a cheerful tone.

And thus, we learn the valuable lesson to never trust a girl ever.

Well, at least she tells us that the walls of the room are perfectly explosion-proof and no one else will get hurt. And runs off. Priorities!

Takuya: "She's just going to run off and leave her experiment behind...?"

Kouji [standing behind a desk and explaining calmly]: "It only makes sense to run away! There's no point in being caught in the explosion!"

Priorities!

And we have like one second left WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO

[Break the machine]

[Press different buttons]

[Say your prayers]

...

SAY PRAYERS!

...

...

I could question the fact that he's clearly explaining how the machine and the headset and everything exploded around him, yet he still proceeds to explain how smoke and bright light are blinding him when he shouldn't have any eyes left to see with in the first place, but who cares

Congratulations, ma'am.

It's a little girl!

...

*turns on music and immediately turns it back off*
SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH
 22 Fawriel, Tue, 30th Nov '10 2:14:45 PM from the bottom of my heart Relationship Status: If it's you, it's okay
THE MEEK
Welp, that'll be it for today. For one thing, it's getting late, but also...

I think I actually kinda like this game, so I'm gonna play ahead on my own the next times and give you the low-down afterwards! I think these posts have been enough to give you an idea of the style anyway. tongue

And in case anyone was wondering, Tacchan of course has to be told that he's a girl now in spite of his obviously higher voice and everything. Science!
SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH
-*maniacal laughter, appropos of very little if anything*
 
 24 Goggle Fox, Tue, 30th Nov '10 2:26:55 PM from Acadia, yo.
rrrrrrrrr
Your censorship is rather ._.

And anyone who wasn't expecting that machine to do what it did isn't very good at paying attention.
Sakamoto demands an explanation for this shit.
 25 Tzetze, Tue, 30th Nov '10 2:28:02 PM from a converted church in Venice, Italy
Total posts: 59
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