"So this is the growing machine..."
More like BREAST GROWING MACHINE, amirite?!
Chisato proceeds to act like she's going to sell that machine to Takkun or the audience ("Buy now on j-list.com and receive a complimentary Konata body pillow!").
Welp, looks like she used up the whole year's budget on that machine. This had better be worth it.
Hee hee hee.
"Well, if it'll make you taller, isn't it worth it? Now, take off your shirt and step inside please."
Why, yes, do take off your shirt. I'm sure there's a plausible reason for that, but I don't want to know what it is.
Okay, suction cups would be a good explanation, yeah. What's that thing on his head, though? A headset. "Headset?"
"A headset is..."[...]"... a device with a receiver and a transmitter, mainly used by pilots. But in this machine it's an interface for measuring brainwave levels."
She only uses words I don't understand. I have no clue.
Tako, darling, I will assume for your sake that that this explanation was harder to understand in Japanese.
I like how I skipped her voice explaining that the belt around his chest is there to restrain him because leaving the machine during the operation would be dangerous, and it went straight to his nervous face. I gave the game a real silent beat! I'm the director! It's me.
"Say, this has already passed preliminary experiments, right?
The answer is silence.
Enough of the famous last words! PULL THE SWITCH ALREADY
... So they tested it on rats and the rats got fried? Game, you are trying a little too hard there. Dare I say that my willing suspension of disbelief is in danger? Dare I?!
She proceeds to explain that she calculated a 99.9% success rate. In the spirit of our great master, this is, of course, as good as 0%!
"Testee body readings, normal... Testee mental readings, more or less normal..."
The voice actress did a pretty good job there with the comedic timing, so yay for that.
Takkun seems amazed at the idea of things going okay. So does Kouji. ... What's wrong with you guys! No government would allow
this, much less a school, and-
Suddenly the suction cups are heating up. Takkun informs me that the Japanese term for "hot" is in fact "atsui" and not "otsui" as I picked up. He is thus no longer my friend.
Cue classic comedy routine. "There's smoke? Is something going wrong?" "Nah, if something was wrong, there would be an alarm!" "What kind of an alarm?" [siren sound] "Like that!" "Oooh, I see. ... ... WAIT"
She fiddles with the controls, it gives an "Improper interrupt" error message but she claims not to have done anything and oh man the tension is killing me he has to press the red button to shut down the machine HE PRESSED THE RED BUTTON
"That's not the red button. That's the brown button!"
"Then this one!" [click]
"No! That's the scarlet button!"
And because Rule of Three is love, he now presses the maroon button. Nice knowing ya, bro!
It activates the obligatory self-destruct sequence. Huh. Why did she put something like that in? Because... she likes self-destruct functions. As good a reason as any.
Senpai, we didn't know each other very long, but I am indebted to you," she says in a cheerful tone.
And thus, we learn the valuable lesson to never trust a girl ever.
Well, at least she tells us that the walls of the room are perfectly explosion-proof and no one else will get hurt. And runs off. Priorities!
Takuya: "She's just going to run off and leave her experiment behind...?"
Kouji [standing behind a desk and explaining calmly]: "It only makes sense to run away! There's no point in being caught in the explosion!"
And we have like one second left WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
[Break the machine]
[Press different buttons]
[Say your prayers]
I could question the fact that he's clearly explaining how the machine and the headset and everything exploded around him, yet he still proceeds to explain how smoke and bright light are blinding
him when he shouldn't have any eyes left to see with in the first place, but who cares
It's a little girl!◊
*turns on music and immediately turns it back off*