Big Lipped Alligator Moment: The three-breasted prostitute. There are no other mutants in this version, and her reason for having three breasts is unexplained.
The appearance of the "Two weeks" woman, which exists for absolutely no reason other than to reference the original film. If you didn't see it, you'll be completely mystified as to why the camera puts so much focus on this random background person.
Fridge Logic: At the climax, Doug sets some explosive on the "top" of the Fall as soon as he gets on. He the fights and shoots his way to the other end to reach Cohaagen, and is not shown planting any more explosives. Thus, when the train resurfaced at the Colony, top becomes bottom and vice versa, the explosives planted earlier are now at the bottom of the Fall, i.e underground. Yet, when they explode, they managed to destroy the top of the train and the mechanism holding it in place, sending it plummetting towards the Earth's core.
Hollywood Homely: A rare male version, as upon revealing the truth to Quaid, Lori mocks him for thinking a schlub like him could ever land a beauty like her. This is Colin Farrell we're talking about.
So Okay, It's Average: When setting aside the much loved original and looking at the remake on it's own merits, the general consensus seems to be it's an average action movie that manages not to be awful. Most critics say this is largely due to the fact the film never really takes any risks and it's more serious approach takes away the fun present in the original.
They Changed It, Now It Sucks: Many of the complaints of the movie were that it didn't have the fun and thrill of the 1990's version and instead trying to play it too seriously. Furthermore much of the Mind Screw is also largely gone though considering how much a part of the original Total Recall that was, it's absence was probably justified.
Villain Sue: Lori, likely due to being played by the director's wife, really comes off as one by the time she's dodging several explosions in the climax.