- Accidental Innuendo: The fanfic is loaded with this. Perhaps worst is the bit where Leif attacks a rapist with the words "Now feel the pain that so many innocent young girls like her have felt but with oh so much more intensity". Disregarding his impressive lung capacity, what the hell is he doing with those magical knives?
- Then again,that's about the only part of the fanfic that's reasonably authentic. Also see the MST:
Romsca: (shuddering) I've 'ad just about enough o' this. Does this author even know wot 'e's sayin?
Lyulf: Lessee wot we got so far... 'e seemed like a paedophile, 'e's already in bed wid 'is mum, 'e did unspeakable things ter Arnold, Rajh is his secret gay lover...
Ara: ...and now he's necrophilic towards his dad. Lovely. I don't think even Freud could have thought that one up.
- Asspull: This fic appears to be merely a poorly-written Redwall Transplanted Character Fic until Chapter Three, whereupon we abruptly and without warning come upon the line "then he shot a beam from his paw which the rat teleported away from". (For those unfamiliar, Redwall is a medieval fantasy about talking animals, and has a definite lack of magical laser beams.)
- Canon Defilement
- Complete Monster: Arnold. By the time of his death, he has raped or attempted to rape three girls and is despised by Leif for it.
- Crowning Moment of Funny: See Narm.
- Marty Stu: Leif
- Narm: "Leif walked into the alley SO ARNOLD HE YELLLED TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MORE POOR YOUNG GIRLS EH I GUESS I WAS TOO LATE TO STOP YOU FROM TAKING THIS YOUNG GIRLS INNOCENCE BUT IT IS NOT TO LATE FOR ME TO KILL YOU."
- Snark Bait
- So Bad, It's Good
- Unfortunate Implications: Leif declares that he must keep an eye on Maiomi because "she is a seventeen-year-old girl she is bound to be assaulted and raped sooner or later".