These are what we call the 'YMMV items.' Things that some people find in this work. We call them 'your mileage might vary' because not everyone sees these things in the same way. This starts discussions in the trope lists, a thing we don't want. Please use the discussion page if you'd like to discuss any of these items.
Complete Monster: John Constantine has encountered depraved villains, but several leave the rest far behind.
The first is the First of the Fallen. It's said when Lucifer was cast into hell, the First was already at the bottom. Far more depraved, violent and sadistic than the Morningstar, the First is introduced as a trader in souls who John bests in a battle of wits. The First promptly devotes all energy to vengeance to destroy John in every way, shape and form while destroying his friends and loved ones and condemning a city to an orgy of blood and violence simply for his own amusement. The First shows no loyalty to allies and frequently destroys them, in one instance changing demon lord Nergal into a mortal to torture him simply for amusement. In his cruelest act, the First captured the soul of John's innocent sister and played upon her love for her hell bound husband to manipulate her into staying in hell to split the torture between them.
The serial killer known as The Family Man was the first human being John Constantine ever killed. The Family Man was an old man with a penchant for happy families. Upon locating them, with a mother, father, and children, he would murder them by lacerating their bodies and ending by slashing their throats. Having murdered his own parents as a child, the Family Man had a habit of leaving no witnesses with his victims including John's estranged father. The Family Man remains one of the most evil and disturbing villains in Hellblazer's annals.
Joshua Wright, John's Evil Counterpart was an unscrupulous magician with no compunction about rape, manipulation or murder. Wright seduced John Constantine's former lover Isabelle Bracknell, and made her his Scarlet Woman, a woman he could practice all his magic through. When he got bored of her, Wright would drive her to the lowest depths for a laugh, forcing her through painful body modification, got her pregnant to make her get an abortion and have the aborted fetus implanted under her skin, and had her prostitute herself. In his own words, he was merely amusing himself at this point. When he got tired of her, he murdered her with a hammer. When confronted by John, Wright shows no remorse, gloating "that's what magic's all about, innit? Fucking someone. One way or another."
He backs down a bar filled with some of the most powerful magic users in the DCU in The Books of Magic. With words alone, no less! And no small amount of leaning heavily on his reputation before the crowd could key on the fact that said reputation is mostly crap he made up.
Casting a curse on a wanna-be Satanist punk by making up some nonsense words on the fly and letting his mythical status in the kid's mind make it real.
Even Chas, Butt Monkey extraordinaire gets one, when he manages to send a demon back to Hell... on his own, as John is out of town.
Also when he finally gets fed up with John exploiting their friendship and bashes his head repeatedly into a toilet.
Crowning Moment of Funny: During the ending of Red Right Hand we realize that the disappointment and hatred felt by the soldiers keeping the quarantine on Glasgow once England is left out of the Soccer World Cup may be strong enough to negate everything our heroes have been doing to prevent an empathy virus to extend. England loses... and the soldiers cheer, since they were Scottish and hate the English team
Genius Bonus: There's a room in the Vatican warded so that God cannot see what is inside. In some interpretations of Hell, it is defined as out of God's sight. Needless to say, the room is a bad place.
Mary Sue: Epiphany Constantine (née Greaves) Blue hair, 23 years old, time travelled and met/fell in love with a young John, brilliant alchemist, caused John to declare himself in love, and afraid to die and leave her behind. Should we go on?
"You wanna know how I got him pregnant? I slit a hole in his belly and fucked him through it." said by a daemon who is called a Fuckpig and was possessing the body of the man's 5 year old son, with a 3 foot long penis it uses to rape its victims to death with...