Jack Thompson: A very vocal lawyer with a flair for the theatrical and non-gamer who bravely defended Mass Effect from a news story that grossly exaggerated the sexual content in the game.
Tim Buckley: A well known webcomic artist who dealt with a real world issue in his world of fantasy. He is well loved by his fans.
World War One: A global initiative much-welcomed across national borders that sparked a prolific movement in poetry, resulted in the emancipation of women voters across the globe and was partially responsible for the resulting career of a uniquely charismatic world leader who would transform his country forever. Also spread in many countries concept of peace.
Jack Chick: His unique and inspired artwork has done much to further the gospel of love, mercy, grace and peace as espoused by Jesus Christ.
Fred Phelps: A rather vocal pastor whose unique preaching style has drawn the attention of millions of Christians, as well as non-Christians. His actions have allowed Conservative supporters of the Iraq war and Liberal Gay Rights activists to find common ground and, if only for a moment, unite.
James Cone: A preacher who seeks racial justice. One of his disciples was like a mentor to a major political figure.
The Game: You don't even have to think about it!
Self injury: A way to relieve stress which is most commonly done by teenage girls.
Cutting: a way to relieve stress without harming others involving scissors
The Slave Trade A prosperous system that brought sugar, tobacco and many other products to Europe, created thousands of jobs in Britain and other major ports, and culminated in the creation of reggae and blues music, and, by extension, rock and roll.
Communism: Everyone gets everything they need!
Capitalism: Some good honest work and the world is your oyster.
Alternately, greed creates everything.
Objectivism: A deconstruction of communism in which everything is inverted.
Nuclear Weapons: A triumphant collaboration between modern science and the hi-tech industry responsible for brining an end to the second world war, whose existence has resulted in the longest period of continuous peace between The Great Powers in recent history. The continued development of this technology has produced countless spin-offs both large and small and trillions of dollars worth of research innovation, including sources of power that produce no greenhouse gas emissions. Humanity can look forward to a bright, glowing future as it continues to spread across the globe and into the third world.
Death: An end to all pain and misery that puts your mind at ease. No one is left out!
Adolf Hitler: A leader who brought his country out of a severe economic downturn and moved audiences with his enthralling speeches. His innovativeapproach to civil rights helped increase popular sensitivity toward, and expose the true evil nature of, racism and anti-Semitism, leading to their marked decline in the Western world. His ambitiousforeign policy led to significant reforms in international law, including the international prosecution of war criminals. In fact, his contributions to society were so great that modern society won't let anyone copy his image.
Don't forget that his party's contributions still continue to be referenced in popular rhetoric to this day!
O.J. Simpson: A popular sports figure who successfully made the switch to acting ... but whose movie career was derailed by the tragic death of his beloved wife. The huge outpour of emotion from the public made him one of the most memorable personalities of his time.
Diarrhea: Getting rid of everything you don't need very quickly. May also help you lose weight!
The Guillotine: A device invented to render painless what, in the past, had often been a lengthy, painful procedure. In addition to its proper function, it is an infallible cure for headaches.
Munchkins: Those who refuse to submit to the artificial standards set by the society around them, choosing instead the most ancient and noble quest To Be a Master. They blaze their own path.
Tapeworms: Loveable pets who are cheap to maintain, easy to care for, and will never leave your side. They'll even help you lose a few extra pounds!
Joseph Stalin: An intelligent and bold world leader whose belief in both the greatness of his country and the equality of all men led him to undertake sweeping economic and social reforms that effect the world even to this day. One of the most powerful Allies in WWII and the first minority leader of his nation, he is still remembered fondly by many of his countrymen. Also, a brilliant tenor singer.
Vladimir Ilyich Lenin: Mentor to the above-mentioned, as well as many other future rulers and reformers. An inspiration to millions with his passionate pleas for the middle class to become more involved in social justice.
Incest: Useful for everything from simplifying the dating scene to homeschooling your kids on a very important issue.
Muammar Gaddafi: A member of an oppressed and impoverished minority in his country who grew up in a backwater before rising to worldwide prominence at a very young age. He was notorious for keeping live exotic animals in an elaborate private compound; having a coterie of female bodyguards and assistants; questionable wardrobe choices including gaudy military uniforms; an addiction to plastic surgery; and evading serious criminal charges. Though his later career was in serious decline, he was staging a comeback when he died unexpectedly.
The American Civil War: An epic event in the formation of a modern world power which affirmed the equality of all peoples, evoked powerful religious and patriotic imagery in picture and song, and forever altered that nation's political scene.
Cannibalism: Both a source of food, and a form of population control!
Fear And Cowardice: Avoiding harmful and undesirable situations
Evil: Doing whatever you want regardless of what others may think or say
Conformity: seeing things through someone else's point of view and taking their values & feelings into consideration.
Anti-conformists: Promoting individuality and trying to show the world how unique you are
Starvation: A very effective method of shedding pounds and avoiding obesity. Also will improve your appetite.
A form of population control.
Or alternatively, the by-product of a lack of population control.
Spiders: stop flies from overpopulating and spoiling all our food. They are excellent craftsmen, being able to make their own beautiful, intricate silk a human could never make. They also are very diverse, being found in all corners of the world, with very different sizes, shapes and colors. Much missunderstood by society.
Cockroaches: A much-maligned, harmless creature which is selfless enough to only live in dirty conditions and stay out of your way.
Jealousy/envy: Brings out the instinct to improve ones self and strive for better.
Divorce: A chance to break out of the old routine and find independence. Also, giving your spouse a chance to be happy, and yourself a chance to be free. Saves people from abusive (emotionally, sexually, physically or financially) relationships and allows justice to be served.
Opening the door to give you a second chance at love if the first attempt failed.
Overpopulation: The more the merrier!
Bullying: A perfectly natural and normal pattern in human nature. The person on the receiving end often grows thicker-skinned and more tough, whilst the person on the giving side usually gets a security-boost and a chance to feel superior after often feeling worthless and awful about their pathetic lives.
Thalidomide: A mistake made with the best of intentions; cured morning sickeness, and made a woman's pregnancy a lot more comfortable. Even now it can be used to cure insomnia.
Robbery: New possessions without having to pay.
Ted Bundy: Described by his peers as a charming young man who was always perfectly polite. Volunteered for various charities, including a suicide hotline.
The sinking of the Titanic: Inspired one of the greatest films of all time, and launched the careers of two very prestigious actors, who probably wouldn't have gone on to do greater projects if it wasn't for this event. More importantly, it changed naval safety regulations forever, saving the lives of thousands of people since then and made sure there are always enough lifeboats for everybody on board a ship.
Hangovers: A reminder to always drink responsibly. Also can help you forget past mistakes of the night before.
Black mail: A usually effective way of getting what you want with little persausion. If you're on the receiving end, it helps you make your choice as whether to comply with the person who instigated this much more easier.
Celiac disease: The perfect reason to cut carbohydrates from your diet.
Crabs (as in the STD, not the animal): Free pets which can be shared with your most imtimate of loved ones. As long as your alive, you won't need to do anything to keep them happy/healthy.
Resentment: One of the most pure and passionate emotions you will ever experience. When the person you give this too returns this feeling, you will definitely have interesting and unique interactions.
Lying: A way of protecting friends and family members from things which would hurt them to know.
Insanity: A good way to keep life interesting.
Premature Ejaculation: An efficient time-saving measure so you can get your business done that much faster and move on to doing more important things.
Taxes: A way to sacrifice for your country while contributing to important and exciting projects. One of life's two certainties.
The Nazis: Arguably the most well-known political party of the 20th century.
Internet Message Boards: Allows virtually anyone to participate in the media of the 21st century! Instantly give feedback on media, even if you're not very articulate or not proficient at spelling! Discover how your peers feel about the media, or about those who dissent, or even just whatever! Know that what you contribute can affect the emotions of those who read it, and vice versa! Best of all, you can be anonymous, so don't hold back! Let it ALL out!