Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man (1994-1997) is an Animated Series starring Jason Alexander as Duckman. Duckman is the cheapest, sleaziest, most incompetent private investigator in the world; he's also a lousy father, a small-time crook, and...a duck. He and his family are all walking, talking, tax-payingnote Well, Duckman never pays his taxes, but you get the idea. ducks, and Duckman's hyper-efficient (and humorless) assistant Cornfed is a pig, despite the fact that this is not a DuckTales-type animal world. While Duckman himself walks around naked in the tradition of Daffy Duck, everyone else wears clothes.Very crude (right down to the deliberately ugly character designs), very cynical and very, very surreal — sort of like if Luis Buñuel had made Beavis And Butthead — it freely mixed low-brow riffs with the abstract and the intellectual. The show has an ardent cult following, and a lot of its fans are still stewing over the final episode's cliffhanger.
What the hell are you starin' at?! Go look at some tropes, you jerks!
The Ace: Cornfed, if it's possible to be one in a deadpan low-key sort of way.
Advertising Campaigns: In-between the third and fourth seasons, USA ran a series of commercials asking, "Where is Duckman?", and showing Duckman at various locations like at a political rally and on the moon.
Fluffy and Uranus. Lampshaded when they're made the guards at the wall dividing the men and women in "Exile in Guyville" because they're "gender confused".
In one episode, it's implied Ajax is a hermaphrodite.
Anachronism Stew: During "Pig Amok", Cornfed shows a documentary explaining the inherited gene that requires him to lose his virginity or die. During the documentary, one of those Civil War letters by Ulysses S. Grant is read, only it's revealed that it wasn't an actual letter, but an e-mail. To really hammer the point home, the Preisdents email provider is "@anachronism.com"
And I Must Scream: King Chicken initially decides to let Duckman go at the start of "Inherit the Judgment: The Dope's Trial". When Duckman suspicious asks why he would let him go, Chicken replies with:
King Chicken: So that one day, when you least expect it, I will trap you in an elaborately-woven web of diabolical deceit, craven cruelty, and evil so terrible, that it will turn your life into an unending tortorous Hell on Earth, where you'll be too frightened to die, and too damned to scream!
Animated Actors: In "The One With Lisa Kudrow in a Small Role", Duckman, Cornfed, and Bernice are sitting on the couch after the second commercial break. They're casually chatting about various subjects until they're told by the off-screen director to get into places. When he says "Action", they get into character and continue the plot of trying to find the missing Ajax.
Duckman: "Role model"? Hey, I'm a water fowl! I'm not a TV show! Even if I were, any halfway intelligent audience would know I'm not somebody to imitate. Who'd aspire to imitate someone who's gotten the stuffing kicked out of him so many times, the only reason he gets up in the morning is because either he's really stupid, or somewhere, deep down inside, beats the heart of a disappointed, yet still hopeful, idealist. A yellow, ''YES YELLOW!'', teller of truth, who's a spokesperson for the silent masses who'd love to tell it like it is, who's an idol to be emulated, nay, a GOD, to be bowed down to!... But, heh, I'm... I'm not a role model.
Art Shift: In "I, Duckman", Duckman watches various home movies to hopefully get a clue about his past. All the home movies have a different art style: Steamboat Willie for his childhood years, Popeye for another time, Yogi Bear for high school years, and The Simpsons for adult years when he and Beatrice were still married.
Astronomic Zoom: Demonstrated at the beginning of "Days of Whining and Neurosis".
Attack Of The 50 Ft Whatever: One episode had Duckman continually growing every time he swears. Though also averted since his condition shrinks him when isolated from other people.
Bad Liar: In "The Gripes of Wrath", Bernice discovers Duckman has tickets to Busty Bikini Babe Fest.
Duckman: It's not like it sounds! First prize is a scholarship, or, uh... something.
Beat: In "Das Sub", there's a really long one after one of the arrested students asks if Duckman will take the rap for the crime, and Cornfed just stares blankly.
Bed Trick: Duckman once had a relationship with a Seinfeld-obsessed blind woman, who thought he was Jason Alexander in a duck suit.
Big Bad: King Chicken, although he and Duckman had a truce near the end.
Bigger Bad: Parodied in "The Mallardian Candidate", where the episode ends with Duckman and Cornfed solving the case and being observed by a group of villains, who are also watched over by an endless chain of other criminal masterminds, until the final level, which is a family of couch potatoes watching television.
Big "NO!": In "Clip Job", Duckman delivers three of these in a row when shown footage of himself by Harry Medfly.
Brain Bleach: In "Ride the High School", Duckman opens Bernice's door to say good night, and Bernice screams. Duckman quickly shuts her door, shudders, and says, "Yech! It'll be a long time before I eat broccoli again!"
Breaking the Fourth Wall: The series as a whole has multiple moments of this occurrence. Some of the more notable ones include:
In "Ajax and Ajaxer", Duckman eggs on any potential children in the audience to steal soda to "stick it to the man".
"Clip Job" in its entirety does this.
In "The Road to Dendron":
Cornfed: We've got to get to that banquet and stop that toast. Ajax: But I like toast. It's the muffins that must be stopped! Duckman: Eh, okay, son, now you're starting to scare the viewers.
Brick Joke: In "Bonfire of the Panties", there's a reference to a blind woman Duckman knew who's obsessed with Seinfeld. At the end of the episode, the woman is revealed, and she's kidnapped Jason Alexander in a bit of Actor Allusion:
Jason: I swear, I've never met you before! Just untie me and we'll forget the whole thing, okay, uh, Irma? Irma: Don't call me Irma; tonight, call me... Vandalay. (sits on Jason's lap) I wish you had brought that duck suit. (Psycho stings as Jason nervously stares at the camera)
Brilliant but Lazy: Duckman shows signs of actually being a competent detective when he properly applies himself, but he is usually so distracted by his various addictions, semi-psychotic anger and depraved lusts that he barely knows where he is most of the time.
Broken Record: "Solve case, get out, solve case, get out, solve case, get out, solve case, get out..."
The Butler Did It: Or more accurately, The Butler Was Also Involved in "Haunted Society Plumbers"
Fluffy and Uranus, who are grusomely mangled on a regular basis.
Duckman himself also qualifies.The poor guy can hardly catch a break.
Even Cornfed is subject to this on occasion, such as spending a big chunk of "Soft, Plush, and Deadly" with a thickly swollen head from bug bites and being left behind. Or being kidnapped in "A Trophied Duck" and left bound, gagged, and hanging upside down in a closet.
Duckman used a rant as a filibuster in "Inherit the Judgment: The Dope's Trial" to irritate King Chicken into revealing his plot to the court.
We see the ending of one at the start of "Das Sub," as Duckman stands trial for land fraud. According to the judge, Duckman had already "acted out five Leprechaun movies, six Puppet Master movies and nine Maniac Cop movies."
And of course his epic rant on the human condition that gets him committed to an asylum in "Room With A Bellevue."
Chirping Crickets: Heard at the end of "Gland of Opportunity" when Charles, Mambo, and Ajax have an extended awkward silence after Duckman says his kids are still proud of him even though he didn't perform the death-defying stunt.
Also in "Not So Easy Riders" when Duckman and Cornfed are camping out in the desert while on the run from the IRS, but subverted when it turns out Cornfed was making the noise himself to 'add atmosphere'.
Chivalrous Pervert: Duckman is implied to have been this while married to Beatrice. He also behaves this way while dating Angela and later Honey.
Clumsy Copyright Censorship: Unfortunately, the DVD releases had to remove a few of the licensed songs; in one instance, an entire scene was spliced out because of this. On the plus side, none of the removed songs were the ones by Frank Zappa.
Comically Missing the Point: Demonstrated in "They Craved Duckman's Brain!", when bystanders overhear that Duckman has a cure for cancer in his brain. Once they start to riot when trying to grab Duckman, the doctor from the episode appeals to the crowd with An Aesop:
Doctor: It's like the story of the goose that laid the golden egg: When the cottager cut it open to get all the eggs at once, it killed the goose!
Man 1: Hey, did you hear that? He lays golden eggs, too!
Man 2: Let's crack him open and get all the eggs at once! (crowd riots again)
In "Cellar Beware", after the family is robbed, Ajax mentions that he went downstairs in the middle of the night to get some butter from the fridge, and didn't think anything of the burglars.
Duckman: Ajax! I can't believe you're so oblivious to the world around you! Ajax: Sorry, dod. Duckman: Next time, try to remember: There are other people in this house who would've liked a little butter too!
Duckman bemoans how it appears he's the last person alive in "Apocalypse Not", only to then state the advantages include things like shorter lines at the post office, and being able to watch the games whenever he wanted to.
During their pursuit of Ajax and the Vice Principal to stop them from getting married, Duckman and Bernice pose as a couple, and have drunken sex. The next morning, they discover what happened and freak out. And then Ajax walks in on them and states that he's appalled...that they would leave their clothes wrinkled and discarded on the floor after years of chiding him for doing so.
Lampshaded in "Hamlet 2: This Time, It's Personal".
Also lampshaded in "Clip Job" when Harry Medfly tells Duckman he's going to die and laughs diabolically. Right before it cuts to black, he says to the camera: "Doncha hate it when they do that right before a commercial?"
Yet again in "All About Elliott" when Elliott is rewriting Cornfed's appointment book, he chuckles evilly before 'noticing' the people still watching and says "What are you people still doing here? Don't you have a little Psychic Friends commercial to watch or something?"
Confession Cam: Used in "American Dicks" when various characters tell the camera what they think about Duckman.
Content Warnings: Parodied in "American Dicks": The text states that the show has been edited for content, but for the sake of ratings, they've let a few titillating lines slide.
Continuity Nod: Every succeeding Terry Duke Tetzlov appearance would have Duckman recap the different jobs and situations he's caused.
Crazy-Prepared: King Chicken sometimes starts plots against Duckman in the middle of another plot. Lampshaded in "Color of Naught."
Creature of Habit: In "Clip Job", Cornfed asked Charles and Mambo what Duckman was doing before he was kidnapped:
Charles: Well, when he got home Friday, he watched TV. Mambo: Then he went to the bathroom. Charles: Then he got something to eat. Mambo: Then he went to the bathroom. Charles: First thing Saturday, he watched TV. Mambo: After going to the bathroom. Cornfed: Thanks, I'm beginning to sense a pattern.
Credits Gag: Listen carefully to the voice beneath the loud tribal chanting in "Pig Amok": He's reading off the names in the credits.
Credits Jukebox: Most episodes used the traditional ending tune (a faster remix of the opening theme), but many episodes featured different music during the end credits: "Apocalypse Not", "The Mallardian Candidate", "The Road to Dendron" (a reprise of "We're Off on the Road to Dendron"), "My Feral Lady", "The Tami Show", "All About Elliott", "A Room With a Bellevue", "The Once and Future Duck", "The Girls of Route Canal", "Bonfire of the Panties" (Duckman and Courtney trying to sing "Jim Slade, Big Black Dick"), "The Longest Weekend", "Where No Duckman Has Gone Before" (Star Trek fight music), "Crime, Punishment, War, Peace, and the Idiot", "With Friends Like These" (the in-show theme song played backwards, with Subliminal Advertising from Satan), "A Star is Abhorred" (one of Bernice's songs), and "They Craved Duckman's Brain!" (BGM from the video about people who profit from cancer).
Cue the Flying Pigs: In "Days of Whining and Neurosis", Cornfed asks Duckman to do something. Duckman bitterly replies, "When pigs can fly!" Immediately after, Cornfed flaps his arms, lifting himself off the ground.
Curse Cut Short: In both "Apocalypse Not" and "Dammit Hollywood", a character is cut off before they can fully say "shit". And in "The Girls of Route Canal", Duckman in the flashback is cut short of saying "bumfuck" when he notices Beatrice.
Cut Short: The final episode of the 4th Season was not planned to be the final episode.
Duckman's schedule in "The Once and Future Duck" has "Touch myself" written as the only thing on every page.
Of all people, Beverley is alluded to do this as well. In "Love! Anger! Kvetching!", Beverley says it would be hypocritical to throw out Duckman's porno mags, because then she'd have to throw out hers. Then she goes to her bedroom, which is lampshaded by Duckman and Cornfed's chuckles.
Decade Dissonance: The episode "America the Beautiful" had Duckman and Cornfed venturing to different cities, all of which are a different stereotype of a certain period of time.
The Fifties: Their first stop is in a suburban neighborhood literally in black and white and which is mentally stuck in the 1950's, right down to one of the people accusing Duckman and Cornfed of being communists.
The Sixties: Their second trip was to a college campus in a 60s-ish town. Everyone who's not a cop is a hippie.
The Eighties: Their fourth stop is to a businessman's office, who represents the stereotypes of The Eighties: obsessed with making money on Wall Street, heartless, and only concerned with material goods and trophy wives.
Man: Pedigreed, is good.
Demoted to Extra: Many characters; notably, Cornfed gains increasing prominence at all of their expense.
Deep South: "Inherit the Judgment-The Dope's Trial". Also "You've Come a Wrong Way, Baby".
Deserted Island: Duckman is placed on one by Cornfed in "The Amazing Colossal Duckman" so Duckman is able to keep his temper under control. His temper causes him to grow in size, so being isolated on an island means nothing or nobody can piss him off. Of course, this leads him to start shrinking.
Disproportionate Retribution: In "The Road to Dendron", Dr. Ben Stein threatens to rip out Duckman's heart and feed it to his dingo if he doesn't quit making noise on the bus.
"Ride the High School" begins in "Africa, A Long Time Ago", where a father is teaching his son how to kill animals for food. It then cuts to "Austria, A Little Later", where a father is teaching his son how to play the harpsichord. It then cuts to "Virginia, A Little Later Still", where George Washington cut down the cherry tree. Finally, it cuts to the present: "Duckman's House, Tuesday", where Duckman is watching static on TV in the vain hopes that the Bouncing Naked Flesh Channel will be temporarily unscrambled.
Also utilized in "Joking the Chicken", for a 2001 parody that starts in prehistoric times and then cuts to the present.
Iggy Catalpa: My name is... (checks wallet) Iggy Catalpa. I was checking my wallet, like I forgot. (silence from the crowd)
Jokes often have to be explained to Ajax due to his stupidity. One time, Bernice began to explain a joke about Duckman, but gave up and said, "Oh just laugh; we're belittling your father!" At which point, Ajax guffawed.
Duckman: You know, like those really ugly broads who are always yellin' about equal rights when all they really need is a little... (clicks) honey in their hives.
Duckman: Hey nurse, I've got a thermometer that'll make you bed-ridden for a week!
Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male: Zigzagged, as Duckman often deliberately antagonizes Bernice and merits an asskicking or two to keep him in line. But Bernice also does go a little overboard with her abuse at times, especially when she's doing it solely to screw Duckman over or get him killed.
"About Face", which ends with Duckman deciding to not go on a date with Angela because he feels that he's holding her back.
In the same vein, the ending to "Bonfire of the Panties": Courtney Thorne-Smith dumps Duckman for the simple reason that as a celebrity, she makes dumb decisions and so because it would be a good decision to stay with someone she enjoys, she has to break up with him.
"The One With Lisa Kudrow in a Small Role" ends with the distant planet of Betamax exploding, a result of its citizens adopting Duckman's bad advice and (presumably) going to war with each other. Luckily Ajax had returned to Earth by the time the explosion occurred.
Driven to Madness: In "Ride the High School", Duckman approaches a man in a school and asks where Ajax's classroom is. The man shouts at him, "YOU DON'T HAVE A HALL PASS EITHER, DO YOU?!" Then the man laughs maniacally and hops in a trash can.
Drives Like Crazy: Duckman in "Aged Heat", where he inadvertently destroys an entire city block with his reckless driving. Though in his defense, he was under great mental stress at the time, due to Agnes threatening him to go about his normal daily routine, even though Agnes had his whole family held hostage.
Also the various individuals in the Bigger Bad example.
Evil Twin: Wanted criminal Agnes Delrooney is almost an exact duplicate of Grandma-ma, except that Agnes isn't comatose and has a gravelly voice, courtesy of Brian Doyle-Murray.
Expansion Pack Past: Cornfed has seen it all, done it all. Although, come to think of it, almost every character gets one of these at one point. Even Duckman's list of acquired sex fetishes gets longer and longer.
In the first episode, "I, Duckman", Duckman delivers a bit of exposition about how Beatrice died and Bernice moved in to help care for the boys when he's irritated that the family is ignoring him.
Lampshaded brilliantly in "The Color of Naught" when Charles and Mambo tell Duckman that Angela has returned, and proceed to explain (in great detail) their relationship from season 1's "About Face". Duckman snaps: "Don't you think I know that?!" The twins reply that they were spouting exposition for the benefit of the many non-regular viewers who stumbled upon this while trying to find softcore porn.
In "Short, Plush and Deadly", Bernice reminds everyone why they're going camping, stating that she's not repeating it to deliver clunky exposition, but because it feels so good.
King Chicken always felt the need to explain his vendetta against Duckman was because of being made fun of when they were kids. After his first appearance, though, this tended to be done more for parody - with other characters clearly bored/irritated by repeat utterances. The crowning example was "The Color of Naught," in which a news reporter claims Tim Curry has gone into hiding because he doesn't want to be forced to say those lines anymore.
Eye Glasses: Somehow, Duckman's eyes are his glasses. He will pull them off his face to clean them, leaving his face unnervingly lacking features. At one point Cornfed also notices that Duckman doesn't have ears on which to put them.
Fake-Out Opening: Occurs all the time; much in the tradition of Rugrats (another Klasky-Csupo show), many episodes open with something puzzling, only for the camera to zoom out and reveal what it actually is. Alternatively, the episode will open on a show or movie that one of the characters is watching. Example from "America the Beautiful": A bunch of beauty contestants fighting (with one eventually pulling out a machine gun and wasting everyone). It turns out it's just a video game Ajax is playing.
Judge: (wearily) Mr. Duckman, you've now acted out five Leprechaun movies, six Puppetmaster movies, and nine Maniac Cop movies. Duckman: Yeah, I know, there were tenManiac Cop flicks. But real M-Cop fans don't count #8, which totally violated the integrity of the series!
Character voiced by Tim Curry? It's King Chicken in disguise. One exception to this rule: "Vuuck, as in Duck".
After the credits in that episode, the audio clip over the Reno & Osborn logo is Tim Curry's voice saying "I didn't get to peel off my head," so it can be reasonably assumed it was King Chicken.
Foreshadowing: Lampshaded in "The Gripes of Wrath" when half of a background sign's letters blank out, leaving only the letters spelling "Foreshadowing" lit. This is due to Charles and Mambo debating with Duckman about whether computers are better or worse for the world, which is the whole theme of the episode.
Freudian Excuse: Duckman has a lot of baggage - most notably a dead father (who was not unlike himself) and a widowed mother who ignored him while looking for a replacement husband.
Freudian Slip: In "Psyche", when two big-breasted women enter his office, Duckman says "Come in, come in, I'm Duckman, and this is Hooters! I mean, Cornfed."
The Fun in Funeral: In "The Girls of Route Canal", Duckman unknowingly knocks over a tombstone, which rolls down the hill, hits Richard's casket, sending the corpse flying through the air and getting his leg caught in a tree, causing him to hang upside down.
Furry Confusion: Real, non-talking birds have been in the same scene with Duckman.
Future Me Scares Me: The premise of "The Once and Future Duck": Multiple future versions of Duckman keep popping up in the present to warn Duckman that if he does something, he'll end up like them. Duckman eventually becomes so paranoid that anything he does will have negative consequences that he remains perfectly still in a chair.
Gag Boobs: Seen in many episodes, but perhaps most pronounced in "All About Elliott" when Elliott's final ingredient to make Duckman overload on pleasure is a stripper with boobs that are practically as long as she is tall. And that's not all; she's one of identical sextuplets!
Genius Ditz: Ajax shows shades of this on occasion, usually for the sake of a joke. At a funeral, he gives a profound speech about how life is fleeting, only to be met with blank stares. He then says something you'd expect him to say, prompting the audience to laugh (which he sums up as giving them what they want). Also lampshaded in another episode when Ajax proves to be quite capable with a harp, remarking that he'd become an idiot savant with a few years' more practice.
George Lucas Altered Version: Invoked in-universe in an episode where older films with smoking are altered to remove the cigarettes and replace them with less offensive objects. See also Thank You For Smoking, which uses the same joke at the end of the film.
Gilligan Cut: Seen in "Psyche" when Duckman says he and Cornfed aren't going on the date with the two women... and the next scene is the two on a date with the women.
Give Me a Reason: In "Not So Easy Riders", the IRS agent says this to Duckman while pointing a gun in his face.
Agent: Give me a reason! I work and slave to protect John Q. Public from scam artists like you, and what does it get me? Do I get any satisfaction at all? Oh, sure, occasionally, I get a little peppy in my questioning, but then it's "civil rights" this, and "cruel and unusual" that!
Godly Sidestep: Finding himself in Heaven, Duckman gets an Etch-A-Sketch from God. He asks why and God tells him that it has the Meaning of Life written on it, but by then it has been erased from Duckman moving it around.
Grande Dame: There's one in "Haunted Society Plumbers".
Green-Eyed Monster: The premise of "A Civil War": Duckman being jealous of Cornfed's limitless abilities in virtually every category.
Utilized in "The Road to Dendron" when the villain explains why he performed his evil plan. The instant he begins to explain, a cow walks in front of the camera and munches so loudly you can't hear him. A few seconds later, the cow walks away, only to hear the villain concluding, "And that's why I did it!"
In "Westward No!", Big Jack McBastard comes back at the end of the episode, alive and well. When Duckman and Cornfed are baffled how he could've survived being trampled and eaten by vultures, McBastard simply says, "Long story."
Hanging Judge: In "Das Sub", after the judge carries out Duckman's community service sentence:
Judge: Bailiff! If he's not gone in fifteen seconds, kill him!
Harmless Electrocution: Sometimes occurs, such as when Duckman sends Ajax down to connect a pirated cable with exposed wires. Cue the bright shock lights from behind Duckman.
He Who Must Not Be Seen: Tammy from "Cock Tales For Four" is never seen or heard; we only have a vague idea of what she and Ajax are doing on their date by what Ajax comes downstairs to get.
The Hedonist: Oh, and HOW! Duckman's life more or less revolves around his desperate attempts to fulfill various borderline-illegal lusts and gorging himself on any junk food that the FDA hasn't had the sound mind to ban yet.
Hidden Depths: Deep beneath the surface, Duckman really does care for his family, friends, and even Bernice. He can also solve cases if motivated to actually try.
In "Bonfire of the Panties", Duckman's friends and family give him an aphrodisiac that would allow one woman to become infatuated with him, and warn him that he is not to throw it away on some easy trick. Duckman manages to reverse engineer it and make all the aphrodisiac he wants. His Shoulder Angel admonishes him by pointing out his potential and how he is wasting his talents. His Shoulder Devil counters with how it doesn't matter because he's going to get all the tail he wants. His Shoulder Angel reluctantly agrees.
"The One With Lisa Kudrow in a Small Role" reveals that Ajax is saving money to go to college. (Not that he can spell "college," given the six Qs, but still...) However, his savings are all IOUs... to himself. Turns out he has been secretly slipping money into his father's wallet to help him out.
It's hinted at in the show, and strongly hinted in the comics, that Duckman and Bernice are actually attracted to each other, because, well, Bernice looks exactly like Duckman's dead wife, and Bernice actually sees what her sister saw in him. This causes them to lash out even more than they normally would.
Hilarious Outtakes: The end credits to "Haunted Society Plumbers" parody this, with audio of Homer's inept efforts to say Duckman's catch phrase correctly.
Hypocrisy Nod: Played with at the end of "Apocalypse Not"; Cornfed stops the town from killing Duckman by saying he and the rest of the town (who had spent all day in the sewer practicing a drill) acted no better than Duckman did on the surface. But throughout his speech, Cornfed keeps admitting that what Duckman did was indeed probably worse. Finally, Cornfed admits that he can't even convince himself that he was no better than Duckman, and rallies the town to chase after Duckman.
Ignored Epiphany: At the end of "Days of Whining and Neurosis", Bernice notices that Duckman is healthier after his week in the clinic:
Duckman: Well this changes everything! From now on, it's pinto beans every day! Sex, without a prosthesis! I've turned myself around. It's time to meet the new and improved Duckman! (a guy with a cigarette cuts him off) AGH! Hey you, Bob-Noxious! Haven't you heard the statistics on second hand smoke? Ahhh, a whole new world... (sniffs, but inhales the smoke; instantly his muscles drop, he regains his belly, and his eyes become bloodshot) And how better way to start that world than with a pound of bacon and some curly fries? And coffee filters, USED! I'll wear 'em around my face like a surgeon's mask! (sees a hot woman) HEY NURSE! I've got a thermometer that'll make you bed-ridden for a week! Where are ya goin'? It's time for my exam, see? I'm turnin' my head and coughin'! (coughs; runs after her) Now it's YOUR turn! Nurse! Nursey!
Cornfed: (thinking) I'm deeply, deeply in love. I'd better not tell Duckman. Duckman: (thinking) Nookie! Royal nookie! I got everything I want in the palm of my hand, and it's not even me! I'd better not tell Duckman.
Innocently Insensitive: Unfortunately, Duckman often ends up being this when he makes an effort to be nice and considerate-especially notable in the episode parodying Friends.
Insanity Defense: In "A Room With a Bellevue", Duckman is arrested for ranting in public without a starched collar. During Duckman's trial, his lawyer advises him to plead insanity. Duckman does so, but is instantly sentenced to a mental institution. The lawyer remarks, "Guess I should've seen that coming..."
Iris Out: "Inherit the Judgment: The Dope's Trial" ends this way.
Iron Buttmonkey: Fluffy and Uranus, who always get eviscerated in some terrible way but are fine a few scenes later, though the effects sometimes last longer than others — for instance in the episode where they get eaten.
I Uh You Too: In "Cellar Beware", Duckman and the family are seemingly about to be killed by their own security system, so Duckman takes the last few moments to say he loves the whole family, even... B... B... Buh, BURRR!!! (Bernice stares before bursting into tears with everyone else)
In "Clip Job":
Bernice: Hey, Mr. Demented, bug-eyed but strangely compelling in that off-beat kind of way, kidnapper: We're no TV show! We're real! We're flawed! Just because we're not a 27-inch picture perfect family doesn't mean we don't... (looks at Duckman) llll.... lo-lo-love- (shudders)
I Want Them Alive: When Agnes and Duckman escape the chain gang in "You've Come a Wrong Way, Baby", Walt Evergreen initially orders his minions to bring them back alive. But then he changes his mind:
Walt Evergreen: Aw heck, this is the Deep South. Let's bring 'em back dead!
Joker Jury: In "Inherit the Judgment: The Dope's Trial", King Chicken requests that, instead of going through the usual jury selection process, they just use whoever is currently (and unknowingly) sitting in the jury box. The motion is granted.
King Chicken: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury: Think of an innocent child pickin' a daisy on a sunny Sunday afternoon. Now, imagine Duckman roaring out of nowhere, driving a large truck! He hits her, and kills her, then he backs up and he runs over her again and again and again, a sadistic beast, with a deranged, savage lust for blood! Cornfed: Objection! What's this fantasy got to do with the case before the court? Judge: Sustained! The jury will disregard the fact that the defendant wantonly, brutally, and carelessly killed a little girl. Duckman: Ha! Won that one!
Additionally, the judge is King Chicken's father, there was no jury selection process and the townspeople aren't too bright anyhow.
Karma Houdini: Subverted in "I, Duckman." Wolfgang Cracker was a horrible cannibal that Duckman inadvertently caught some time earlier. Cracker considers it the best thing to ever happen to him, as (thanks to an agent) he went on to become a rich celebrity. He even mocks Duckman for it - saying revenge against a nobody would be a waste of time. Then he gets a package that turns out to be from the Mad Bomber...
Karmic Death: The two burglars in "Cellar Beware"; they stole, among many things, Charles and Mambo's solar-powered magnet invention. When one of the burglars tells the other to open the sunroof, a ton of metal objects instantly are sucked onto their car, presumably crushing them to death.
In "The Road to Dendron", Cornfed asks why he's asking so unlike himself. A voice from off-screen says: "The password is: Bad writing."
In "Clip Job", Duckman asks what kind of people would lower themselves to create a lazily written and morally bankrupt clip show, at which point he looks at the camera when the "Executive Producer" credits appear.
In "TV or Not To Be", God says, "I hate message shows," after Duckman delivers some social commentary.
In "The Gripes of Wrath", Bernice says "What. A. Dump. What's that from, Duckman?" Duckman refuses to play along any longer:
Duckman: I'm tired of it, Bernice! Tired of all of it! Especially this pretentious roleplaying from a movie nobody remembers!
Last Kiss: In "Inherit the Judgment: A Dope's Trial", King Chicken asks Bernice for one last kiss before he's hanged. Duckman, in turn, winces.
Last Name Basis: Duckman, Cornfed, and King Chicken, although eventually their full names are revealed. Duckman is ashamed of his, and Duckman makes fun of Cornfed's name the first time it comes up.
Leitmotif: King Chicken has one, as does Agnes Delrooney. Beatrice has one as well.
Let's Get Dangerous: Duckman can do this, rarely, when it comes to saving his or his family's ass. Even more rarely, he can do it when it comes to social situations. In certain circumstances, he can actually successfully charm women.
Logo Joke: In "Inherit the Judgment: The Dope's Trial," after Duckman is acquitted he mentions he had faith in a higher power, looks up towards the sky... the camera follows his gaze as it goes through the clouds... and stops on a mountain surrounded by stars with the word "Paramount" above the peak. Three guesses as to which company made this.
In "You've Come a Wrong Way, Baby", there's a parody of the scene from The Fugitive when a long list of places to search for the getaway is given.
Walt Evergreen: OK people, listen up. I want a hard target search of every outhouse, beach house, warehouse, boat house, smoke house, clubhouse, ice house, hot house, White House, crack house, bath house, dog house, cat house, reptile house, halfway house, slaughter house, haunted house, gingerbread house, and Joe Eszterhas in the tri-swamp area.
In "Papa Oom M.O.W. M.O.W.", Cornfed rattled off the merchandise created when Duckman had his fifteen minutes of fame.
Cornfed: There's Duckman T-shirts, Happy Meals, condoms, tequila suppositories, aluminum siding, there are Duckman pajamas with peek-a-boo butt flaps, there's Duckman cereal with strawberry Duckman pinch toasted wheat women, there's Duckman Dairy-erre frozen yogurt, Simply Duckman-scented love oils, Duckman tartar control tuckus toothpaste with its pinch-able butt-shaped dispenser, and Duckman kung-fu action figures with the plier-like grip for that extra inch of pinch.
In "The Mallardian Candidate", Cornfed listed all the so-called "necessary" items Duckman purchased for the surveillance job.
Duckman: Hey. Name one thing I bought that wasn't essential for this case. Cornfed: The closet full of Sansabelt Armanis, the Avian waterbed, the 350 pounds of Mallomars, the surround sound CD system you listened to while checking out the Sheryl Crow album cover for visible panty lines... Duckman: I said ONE thing!
In "Clip Job":
Duckman: Maybe I am a little rough around the edges. Maybe I could be a little more tactful when it comes to dealing with women, co-workers, service route handlers, census takers, the sheet metal workers union, people who bought Kathie Lee CD of Christmas songs, small, high-strung, butt-ugly dogs, kids with really funny birthmarks on their faces, peppers, Trekkers, boomers, buppies, slackers...
Cornfed: That's either thousands of pounds of destructive flood water, or Rush Limbaugh on rollerblades.
Magical Security Cam: In "Clip Job", Harry Medfly shows Duckman numerous clips from the Duckman series. Duckman's shocked how he managed to get that footage, surmising that Medfly must have had hidden cameras everywhere. But Medfly rebukes that, saying he merely taped the clips off television, and telling Duckman that he's a TV series.
Manatee Gag: Arguably more common in the first season than the other three. Examples:
In "Ride the High School", Bernice wonders how the public schools could've gone downhill so horribly. Cut to Duckman protesting in front of the White House, shouting "No new taxes!"
In "Cellar Beware", the two criminals who robbed Duckman's house get their comeuppance by testing Charles and Mambo's invention, which causes the nearby cars on the freeway to fly onto theirs like magnets. In the same episode, we see a cutaway to Duke Tetsloff at a Congressional hearing on unsafe products, defending that the security system he sold Duckman is only dangerous to someone irresponsible enough to try to open the console and fix it themselves.
Mandatory Line: In "Sperms of Endearment" Cornfed suddenly appears at Duckman's door. Duckman says it's a bad time right now but Cornfed states that he's required to appear in every episode for at least 10 seconds.
Medium Blending: The episode "My Feral Lady" features a sequence where Duckman and his wife-to-be appear on the live action daytime talk show "Leeza".
Men Can't Keep House: Demonstrated by Duckman in "Married Alive" when Bernice is away for the weekend. The house becomes a dump in short order.
Messianic Archetype: Ajax is one in "The One With Lisa Kudrow in a Small Role", as he is worshiped by the citizens of Betamax, a far-off planet. Ajax even plays them a videotape of "advice" Duckman (whom he calls "dod") gave him, and they treat it like divine wisdom. Towards the end of the episode, Ajax escapes the planet and returns to Earth, and one of the Betamaxians says, "Truly, he was the son of dod."
Missing Mom: Duckman's wife, Beatrice, is thought to be dead the whole series... that is, until we're thrown a curve ball in "Four Weddings Inconceivable".
Mondegreen: In-universe: In "Grandma-ma's Flatulent Adventure", Duckman mishears a long speech by Grandma-ma (in a nutshell, that she accepts him as part of the family) as "Eat more cheese."
Motive Rant: King Chicken would frequently point out how it was Duckman's childhood teasing that drove him to a life of crime. It became a Running Gag that other characters would be bored at the mere mention of that.
Motor Mouth: Duckman himself, though more in the first half of the series.
The Movie: Parodied in "Papa Oom M.O.W. M.O.W." when a live action made-for-TV movie is made about Duckman. Cornfed is portrayed as an incompetent drunk (by his voice actor Gregg Berger at that).
Mr. Exposition: In "The Road to Dendron", a simple question to a stranger leads to this, but Duckman shoots him down before he can ramble too much:
Duckman: Who's tall, dark and creepy? Man: Beware. Beware. That is the sultan's fakir, Achmed al-Wazir, an evil man full of tricks and tortures and torments. It is said that when the moon is full, he- Duckman: ALL RIGHT THANK YOU, we'll be in touch.
Niche Network: In "TV Or not To Be" Duckman flips past "The All Potato Cakes Network", "The Mismatched Buddy Comedy Network", "The Lets Talk in Pig Latin Network", "The Skin Disease Network" and "The Roadkill Identification Network".
Negative Continuity: Although sometimes events did carry over to later episodes. One of the bigger examples is how Duckman and Cornfed first met. In "Civil War," the two are shown as meeting as adults when Cornfed worked as a baker. ("The Girls of Route Canal" showed the two actually meeting well-before "Civil War," but Duckman was typically pre-occupied with himself and crass, so he would obviously not remember.) But in "From Brad to Worse," the two are shown as old high school pals - played straight and not as a joke as in "The Girls of Route Canal."
No Ending: The series' 4th season final episode ended with a Cliff Hanger involving Duckman's wife Beatrice, whose death aggravated most of Duckman's self-destructive tendencies, being revealed to be alive. Naturally, the first time the show's creators were confident of the show being picked up for another season, it wasn't.
Noir Episode: Specifically, "Noir Gang", which is rendered entirely in black and white except for the final few seconds when the sun comes out. There are Noir motifs right through the series, and in Duckman's own mind he's a pulp detective hero.
Nonhumans Lack Attributes: Duckman makes an aside to Cornfed in "Papa Oom M.O.W. M.O.W." when some hot babes enter his office: "It's times like this, I wish I had a penis," lampshading that he wears no clothes and yet has no visible genitalia.
Noodle Incident: Numerous examples, usually involving Duckman doing something horrific.
No Such Thing as Bad Publicity: Invoked in "Papa Oom M.O.W. M.O.W.": Duckman is revealed to be a fraud when footage of Duckman grabbing women's butts was shown on Geofredo's show; Duckman complains about this, but Art De Salvo (who's representing him) tells Duckman not to sweat it; in a week, nobody will remember why he was famous, but the fame will remain anyway.
No Sympathy: In "America the Beautiful", the '80s businessman is annoyed that his secretary took time off for "an operation":
Businessman: ...On her colon. They found some sort of... "tumor", or something. Jeez.
Note to Self: In "A Room With a Bellevue", a bunch of insects envelop Duckman's face when he opens his car window. He remarks, "Note to self: No more meat-flavored cologne."
Not Helping Your Case: In "Clip Job", Harry Medfly tries to make a connection between what's aired on TV and social problems:
Harry: Did you know there were 500 murders in America the week after The Terminator aired? Duckman: How many the week before? Harry: 500. But that's not the point.
Not So Different: In "Cock Tales For Four", King Chicken blames Duckman for his life being a failure, due to Duckman ridiculing him to the other children when they were kids. However, after King Chicken says that Duckman couldn't possibly know what it's like to be an outcast, Duckman snaps: "I know exactly what that's like! (long pause) After you ran home, they made fun of me, too." This revelation causes the two to realize they have a lot in common, and temporarily become friends... until King Chicken's wife comes onto Duckman and King Chicken blames Duckman for it, thereby reinstating the long-standing feud between the two.
Bernice often demonstrates that she's just as crude, lewd, and temperamental as Duckman, although usually with more restraint.
Off on a Technicality: In "Inherit the Judgment: The Dope's Trial," Cornfed looks over every possible technicality to save Duckman from going to trial over saying "egg" in the town. Nothing pans out and at the trial, Duckman is about to be pronounced guilty and sentenced to death. Fortunately, Charles and Mambo come up with the most unlikely technicality of all - Duckman didn't know what he did was against the law.
King Chicken: Ignorance of the law is no excuse. Cornfed:(reading the boys' paper) Actually, this is the one town where ignorance is a legal excuse. Judge: I didn't know that.
Offscreen Moment of Awesome: During the time that Grandmama spent in Agnes Delrooneys place in prison, she has somehow managed to become the head mobster for the gangs inside the jail, despite being unable to move an inch or talk.
Once an Episode: Duckman doing something horrible to his living plush-animal office assistants Fluffy and Uranus.
The One With: A third season episode is titled "The One With Lisa Kudrow in a Small Role".
Only Friend: Duckman and Cornfed are this to each other. Cornfed's loyalty to Duckman is incomprehensible, but ultimately unshakable.
Narrator: In the criminal justice system, there are two separate but equally important groups: The police and prosecutors, who apprehend and try the offenders, and the idiotic defendants who take up the court's time with their self-serving blather. These are their stories.
Or So I Heard: Demonstrated in "The Germ Turns" by Cornfed, of all people.
Other Stock Phrases: In "Gripes of Wrath", after Bernice shows affection for Duckman, he replies: "Who ARE you, and what have you done with Bernice?!"
Parodied in "The Road to Dendron." After Duckman is taken away by the guards (presumably to his death), Cornfed just dances around in a circle, repeatedly gloating, "The princess loves me!" When he finally exhausts himself and falls over:
Cornfed: What am I doing?! Dancing for four days, forgetting about Ajax and Duckman. Why would I behave so callously, so unlike myself? Narrator: The password is: Bad Writing.
Also Lampshaded in "America The Beautiful" when Duckman yells at the Gordon Gecko expy that money isnt enough to make a person happy, and immediatly realizes what he has said. Cornfed points out that an obsession with another person can often bring about out-of-character behavior.
The Perfectionist: Cornfed. One example from "A Civil War" is when Cornfed performed a complicated basketball slam dunk (complete with stopping in mid-air to paint a signature), and afterwards made the basket from the other end of the court using only a mirror as a guide. After the second shot, he complained that he caught some rim.
Person of Mass Destruction: During his time alone on the surface in "Apocalypse Not", Duckman manages to completely wreck the entire city in his hedonistic daze.
Pet the Dog: Deliberately avoided, if not quite often subverted. Usually thanks to Duckman acting like a jerk again once the tender moment's over, or being too oblivious or apathetic.
The trope is played straight at the end of the first episode, however. After spending most of the episode in a slump due to his family disrespecting him and finding out his attempted murderer wanted another duck detective dead, Duckman is consoled by his worried sons. Ajax even gives him a chunk of his sandwich.
Phone-Trace Race: Utilized in "Not So Easy Riders" when some IRS agents are tracing Duckman's phone call: Bernice keeps Duckman on the line by asking him if he's read any good books lately.
Bernice: What's that one about? (listens) ...With her own sisters? Oh my God.
In "It's the Thing of the Principal", Duckman and Cornfed try to get into the vice principal's office of Ajax's school, all to no avail. But the second Duckman mentions God in passing, a school cop confronts Duckman and says he won't stand for prayer in public school, and that he has to go to the vice principal's office.
In "Forbidden Fruit", an episode about sexism, Hebrew will now be known as "We-brew" and a sewer worker was charged with sexual misconduct for referring to his "manhole".
Poor Man's Porn: Duckman has used these many times, which is odd because he has countless porno mags and videos.
Pop Goes the Human: A grotesque murder (by lactose intolerance) in "Days of Whining and Neurosis".
Porn Stash: Duckman has a notable one, of which was threatened with destruction in "Forbidden Fruit" to keep him in line.
Postmodernism: The series dabbles in this kind of humor, usually with its references and jabs at the USA Network. Two episodes that stand in particular are "Clip Job" wherein an irate viewer criticizes Duckman's terrible character using footage of the show as evidence and "How to Suck in Business Without Really Trying", where "Variecom" capitalizes on Duckman being a character to represent the USA Network but has to con Duckman out of his name due to Duckman actually existing in a universe that also features a fictional character named Duckman. Complete with Duckman having to dress up in a costume of himself to make money.
Duckman: Ah what the hell. If I can't be the real-real me, maybe I'll make some dough impersonating an imitation of the imitation of the real-real me.
In "Research and Destroy", Bernice lets loose on a snooty bouncer who keeps her and the family waiting in line for Ajax's performance, despite being family: After the bouncer makes a remark about fog, Bernice keeps saying "fogging" while yelling at the bouncer. So while not the actual "f" word, "fogging" sounds close enough. This could also be considered a Getting Crap Past the Radar moment, really.
In "Inherit the Judgment: The Dope's Trial", Cornfed asks Duckman: "Are you out of your (beep)ing mind?!"
In "American Dicks", the cameraman's first introduction to Duckman is him swearing repeatedly, with each instance bleeped out. Even though bleeped, it's pretty obvious what words he's saying, given the context.
Demonstrated many times when Fluffy and Uranus snap at Duckman in "Forbidden Fruit".
Punishment Box: In "You've Come a Wrong Way, Baby", for back-talking, Duckman has to spend a week... in the box. In a subversion, he comes out after the week is up feeling refreshed.
Punny Name: The third suspect's name in "America the Beautiful" is Saul... Saul Monella.
Rapid Fire Interrupting: In "The Longest Weekend", Tad Venom (the president of the competing neighborhood block association) repeatedly interrupts Duckman, as he just wants him out of his house.
Venom: I'm sorry, may I interrupt you for a moment? (pause) Thanks. Please, go on. Duckman: You- Venom: Please, call me Tad. Look, Mr. Duckman, I promise you there's no neighborhood block association, and I'm not president. No, "promise" is the wrong word. "Pretend". (pushes Duckman out the door) I can't thank you enough for stopping by, please come back soon, although I will be out of town for the next thirty years. Duckman: I- Venom: Oooh, you silver-tongued devil. Bye! (slams door)
"The Reason You Suck" Speech: In "Role With It," during a group therapy session involving role playing, Duckman winds up taking a lot of abuse from everyone else in the cast. When he gets his nerve back, though, he very calmly gives it back - doing a little role playing of his own and pointing out all of their faults.
In "The Gripes of Wrath", Bernice discovers that Duckman would rather go to Busty Bikini Babe Fest instead of taking his kids to the science/technology exhibit. She then launches into a tirade on how he'd rather ogle women than help his children develop their intellect.
The waiter in "Apocalypse Not", who even protests that he's not going to perform a dangerous task instead of the main characters, because he's a one-shot and nobody will care if he dies. Bernice says that's nonsense, and after the waiter predictably dies, she half-heartedly mourns his loss, but screws it when she can't remember the waiter's name.
And in "Where No Duckman Has Gone Before", Fluffy and Uranus appropriately play the "red shirt" characters from Star Trek.
Roommate Com: An episode has Duckman run away from his family and live in an apartment with a group of friends called "The Gang", a parody of Roommate Com (young people living together in a city), complete with studio-audience laughter every time they say something.
Smoking Is Cool: Demonstrated by Duckman in "Gland of Opportunity" when he becomes famous. Interestingly, though, the show mostly averts this trope; Duckman is reluctantly trying to quit smoking right at the start of the series and we're shown the negative side effects of his former addiction.
Sound Effect Bleep: Duckman is bleeped a number of times in succession at the start of "American Dicks".
In "Exile in Guyville", futuristic society (including little kids) freely says the F-word, which is bleeped.
Soundtrack Dissonance: The end credits music to "Apocalypse Not" features some mellow music with destruction sounds and crowd screams heard underneath it.
Spinning Paper: In "The Gripes of Wrath", Duckman has a vision of what will happen if he drinks the tomato juice: He happens upon a gun-toting thug, and accidentally drops the tomato juice. The thug sees the color red and goes nuts, shooting into the air. One of the bullets hits a scientist, who drops a volatile chemical, causing a giant mushroom cloud. Then a newspaper spins towards the screen, reading: "World destroyed; Duckman to blame."
Sting: In "The Mallardian Candidate", every time "a conspiracy!" is said, a three note, dramatic sting is played. Eventually, Duckman gets irritated at it, especially when the sting interrupts his sentences and, in one instance, plays upon showing him merely walking into a building.
The Stinger: Later episodes began to feature audio clips played over the Reno & Osborn logo. Sometimes they were a repeat from the episode a la MST3K, other times they were all new.
A video presentation:Ladies and Gentlemans, here are your cancer profiteers: doctors, lab workers, pharmaceutical manufactures, probate lawyers, obituaries writers, coffin makers, New Yorkers who need apartments, The Republican Party...
Theme Park Landscape: The underground cavern in "The Road to Dendron" features a water passage which Duckman, Cornfed, and Ajax use to escape, though in a subversion, the Fakir laments: "Why did I put in that water slide?! After them!"
This Is My Side: Done to an extreme in "Exile in Guyville", when an argument between Bernice and Duckman eventually causes a separation between the males and females of society, separated by a tall wall.
In "In the Nam of the Father", Charles says that he's thirsty, and Mambo adds that he has to pee. Duckman says that both of their problems are solved.
In "Inherit the Judgment: The Dope's Trial", after the family drinks a bunch of water, Duckman says, "No time for bathrooms; we'll sweat it out in the car."
In "Where No Duckman Has Gone Before", Duckman says he has to go to the bathroom to give new meaning to the term "Captain's Log".
Took a Level in Badass: Fluffy and Uranus, of all people, when they're finally fed up with how Duckman is treating them in their own home and demand his respect by screwing over their usual PC-obsessive schtick and actually cussing him out. Duckman's sole response is to walk out in silent shock and awe.
Truncated Theme Tune: Certain episodes later in the show's run featured a 12-second version of the theme music.
Undying Loyalty: For some reason, Cornfed, Fluffy and Uranus are consistently loyal to Duckman.
The Unreveal: Parodied at the end of "The Road to Dendron," where Cornfed asks why the Fakir had Ajax kidnapped in the first place. Just as he's about to explain, a camel chewing on hay walks by. Once the camel is gone, the Fakir finishes explaining, with Duckman and Cornfed nodding along.
The fact that in the Series Finale, Duckman's wife Beatrice was alive this whole time and Cornfed knew about this all along, but the episode ends on a never resolved cliffhanger that as of now remains to be unresolved.
Unwanted Rescue: In "Papa Oom M.O.W. M.O.W.", Duckman inadvertently saves the president from a terrorist. However, instead of being hailed as a hero, he's ridiculed by the press for getting in the way of a bigger story, that is, a presidential assassination.
Unit Confusion: In "Das Sub", after Duckman gets a sentence of 5,000 hours of community service:
Duckman: 5,000 hours? That's 45 minutes!
Cornfed: Actually, it's about six months.
Duckman: What? Damn metric system.
Utopia: The city briefly became one in "The Gripes of Wrath." When Duckman made an off-hand complaint about short-lasting deodorant, a supercomputer used his criticism to change society for the better. Something happened between acts two and three to cause a complete reversal of this scenario, though.
Grandma-ma, who can't speak due to her coma. She makes up for it by farting instead, and using morse code on one occasion.
In a couple episodes, though, we do hear her speak: In "Grandma-ma's Flatulent Adventure", she's heard in a flashback and her interior voice is heard at the end of the episode: "I really hate that guy." (referring to Duckman, of course). And she also speaks in the flashback episode "Crime, Punishment, War, Peace, and the Idiot".
Vomit Discretion Shot: Art De Salvo vomits into a paper bag in "Papa Oom M.O.W. M.O.W.", but we never see the vomit itself.
Why Do You Keep Changing Jobs?: Art De Salvo and Terry Duke Tetzlov, two recurring characters who usually fill in when a plot requires a sleazy agent, unqualified doctor, human trafficker or similar scumbag. Justified in that both men are scummy sleazebags who probably arent legally allowed to perform a certain job for very long.