A Not Always Right customer is one that is 1. Trying to get something for nothing; 2. Abusing the employee for one reason or another (trying to get their own way, or for the fun of it); 3. Doesn't realize they're wrong.
Not Always Working now has its own trope page. Entries to NAR's other sister sites may be found below.Compare Acts of Gord, a site which has a similar premise except from the perspective of just one guy.
Epic Fail: This man tries to hook up with a stranger, only to find that she's a lesbian. And his pick-up lines are terrible. And he's trying to cheat on his girlfriend. Who is nearby. And she later dumps him and dates the other girl.
Laser-Guided Karma: In this story, a homophobic player keeps calling the submitter slurs after finding out he's gay in a shooter game much to his teammates' anger who tell him to shut up. But when he starts calling slurs to one of his teammates who's gay as well, his teammates abandon him and allow submitter's team to repeatedly kill him in game which frustrates him to the point he quits the game. The homophobic player was banned from the team since he was only a replacement for his brother, and the gay teammate later dates the submitter.
Mugging the Monster: In this story, a girl starts badmouthing another at an audition over issues pertaining to a boy they both dated. The first girl had assumed the other was also auditioning, but it turns out that she was going to direct the play instead. As the cast would have to work closely and get along, the second girl immediately dismisses the first, as that obviously was not going to happen between them.
Pick a Card: A truly stunning bit of sleight of hand. In a strange twist, he has her sign her name on the card with a Sharpie. When the card revealed isn't her card, he apologizes and walks away, and she returns to her drink...only to find that her coaster is now the card she had picked, still with her signature but also with the man's phone number on it. Three years into their marriage, he refuses to tell her how he pulled that trick off.
Also here - a wife, having been reading earlier stories with the name, asks her husband what he would do if she became a zombie. He responds that, since she stays at home and thus close to the arsenal, is a better shot than he is, and is a black-belt, while he works at a hospital, is chubby, and has a bad back, he cannot think of any realistic zombie scenario in which she turns before he does.
And here — the response is a straight "Zombies don't exist."
This couple are planning on buying a new toaster - both independently wonder whether they can bring a piece of bread to the store in order to see if it fits.
This couple independently give the exact same response to a selection of door handles the girlfriend's parents are considering.
That Came Out Wrong/Compliment Backfire: A number of comments made to one's partner that didn't sound half as positive or romantic the speaker imagined, such as this one: "But, I don't want to have my glasses on when I look at you."
Discriminate and Switch: A surprisingly large amount of parents react to their kids coming out of the closet by sighing in relief that they weren't something else (some of them nowhere near as dramatic as coming out usually is).
Actually Pretty Funny: This student got in the habit of drawing cartoons depicting his (generally disagreeable) biology teacher in humiliating situations, throwing said cartoons in the trash after class. Said teacher revealed at the end of the year he'd actually rescued most of those drawings from the trash because he actually enjoyed them.
This kindergartener got bored reading Dick and Jane, so he convinced the class that Spot has rabies. According to the quip at the end, the teacher and the principal thought it was pretty amusing.
"I think I’m going to have to write that one in my last wishes."
Analogy Backfire: In this class, the teacher tries to get across the meaning of a tragic World War II poem by comparing it to bombs falling on their school. Unfortunately for the teacher, bombs falling on their school is something the students want.
Bowdlerization: According to the student (and the professor!) in this quote, they actually changed it from "My handwriting is like a drunk epileptic spider that fell in an inkpot and had a seizure on the page" to "My handwriting is like a drunk spider that fell in an inkpot and tried to walk on the page."
Brick Joke: A student asks their teacher about his habit of bringing a wiffle ball bat to class, and the teacher will only say that it "comes in handy every now and then". Three months later, the student learns the answer firsthand.
This student apparently has a habit of copying the answers from other students. It backfires when said student copies the answers off a classmate who doesn't have the same copy of the test that the cheater does.
This student is accused of copying off another pair of students by a teacher that doesn't like him/her. Said student then, as part of an agreement with the teacher, deliberately fails the next test to catch the real cheaters. Sadly, the cheaters were never punished because they were the teacher's favorite students.
This student admits to attempting to cheat at a physics exam by writing down formulas on the desk. The teacher catches this and orders everyone to change seats for the exam.
Double whammy here. Not only is a student about to get another student in trouble by taking money to write an essay for him, he isn't even competent in grammar. Bonus points for the submitter (who's a teacher) being asked to check the essay-writer's work — which allowed her to report both students.
What's the result of three students handing in the exact same essay? This.
Another student deliberately puts down wrong answers to trap a cheater - then surreptitiously changes them all to the proper answer afterwards before handing the test in.
In this story, a student's partner asks if Mexico's official language is Mexican. The student assumes that he's joking and says yes, since it's not like they're doing this in a Spanish class, to which the partner replies with surprise at being right.
After a teacher calls Ernest Hemingway a "lefty", referring to his political views, this student wonders what being left-handed has to do with anything.
This student wants his teacher to check a problem for him. Normally, this is good behavior... but he asks during an exam. He can't understand why the teacher can't just give him the answer.
In this story, a student teacher asks for a response, and after getting nothing, says that he'll start calling out names. He begins with "Bueller? Bueller?" and a girl replies "Is the answer Bueller?!"
This kid thinks he got in trouble for saying the word "gob" - as in, telling his teacher to "shut her f***ing gob".
Courtesy of the language barrier: this teacher scolds her Japanese student for his rudeness after he tells her to "go to hell." The student promptly looks horrified.
Student: "Sorry, sorry, sorry! Umm. Let's go to Hell together!"
This student apparently thinks the correct term to call a South African person is "African American", despite them not being American. When the rest of the class points this out, the student calls them racist.
Crying Wolf: This kid falls afoul of it, but not for the usual reason—it wasn't so much that the teacher didn't believe him, but that the teacher was so sick and tired of him pulling that stunt that she looked the other way when it happened for real.
Deus Angst Machina: This security guard was rendered homeless three times by the time he was 22 due to faulty wiring. So he teaches himself electrical work (very well)... and his house burns down due to a drunk driver when he is 23.
College Student: Our professor told us that [character]'s room being blue is a symbol of his loneliness and isolation. Is that what you meant? Author: No. I just like blue. You can tell your professor they’re full of s***.
Fawlty Towers Plot: This professor first chews out the student for using a cell phone in an empty classroom, claiming grounds for expulsion. Right on cue, the professor's own phone rings, and she answers it, talking in the classroom. When the student calls her out on the Double Standard, she claims the call was from her boss, the dean. Naturally, the dean happens to walk by the classroom, and having overheard that last comment, asks what he had allegedly done. At which point the student reports exactly what just happened. While the professor wasn't fired, the student was compensated for a laptop the professor had damaged by spilling the student's coffee on it, and a different professor taught the course for the rest of the term.
Female Misogynist: This Sunday School teacher, who directs a sermon on certain on how periods are evil to a female student who dared to have one.
Hate Sink: This college professor. The anecdote even starts off with "We have a very important test coming up in two weeks for a class with a notoriously terrible, cruel, opinionated, self-centered, professor, who is on the verge of being kicked out of the university." You have to wonder why on Earth the professor won't let this test slide because a student needs to go in for kidney-transplant surgery. It's pretty damn hard to fake that.
I will not tolerate plagiarism! Now let's look at this PowerPoint presentation which has information I just copied from some other websites... (Apparently, the teacher got even worse as the year went on.)
This teacher, after teaching a class what rights they have as students, tries to force them to miss both lunch period and most of the class following that in favor of taking a mock test by arguing that, as students, they have no rights. Between this incident and generally being totally incompetent at what she does, the teacher is fired before the week is out, and the citizenship class she was teaching is scrapped after its first year.
I Am Spartacus: After this Bible teacher states that Methodists are going to Hell, an actual Methodist student objects. Eventually, the entire class claims to be Methodists and walks out.
Ignored Epiphany: This student believed he could flunk high school and still get by fine as a mechanic. When his teacher, who was a mechanic for 20 years, easily demonstrates that he still needs an education to succeed at that job. The student's response? "F*** YOU OLD MAN!!!"
Is That Cute Kid Yours?: It happens here, but the man helpfully points out that he and the woman he was with, along with the four kids they were supervising, were all from different countries, and they were wearing clothes that indicated that they were part of an international exchange project.
It's What I Do: In this story, after a physical fitness test, a teacher remarks that a class seems to have the condition of 12-year-old girls. One of the students points out that they are 12-year-old girls.
Many stories tagged with "bully", naturally, fall under this.
This teacher calls for a parent-teacher conference just to insult a completely different former student.
This teacher gives a student detention for being a few seconds late, which would be bad enough if the student's little brother hadn't died the night before and the student been up all night. Fortunately another teacher and a counselor intervened and when that failed, the principal intervened personally.
While it's no excuse for the teacher's actions, perhaps the teacher had to deal with a few students like this in the past, and thought this student was pulling a similar stunt.
This teacher, after complimenting a student on their The Once and Future King project (calligraphy on a parchment scroll, having learned calligraphy just for this), gives them a B- because the lines weren't completely straight. For comparison, another student who just did the project on notebook paper and mistook a pair of kings for each other got a higher grade - when this is pointed out, the teacher tells the student "if you're going to do something, do it right!"
This teacher is apparently giving her students' Father's Day artwork to the wrong people just to be an asshole to them.
Literal Metaphor: An unintentional version here. A musical director describes the cast's less-than-energetic rehearsal as "anemic", not realizing that most of the students present had just donated to a blood drive, meaning they literally were a bit anemic at that point.
Literal-Minded: This university receptionist asks a student if he had a pencil ready to take down some information. The student takes it to mean that he literally needs a pencil, instead of the pen he had handy, and fumbles around for one, eventually hanging up after fruitless searching. The receptionist asks from then on if they have something to write with.
This professor tries to force a military veteran to move forward from the back of the classroom, and won't brook any argument. After the veteran leaves in disgust, one of the students (also disgusted with the professor's behavior) mentions that the veteran's uncle was the dean. The professor "resigned for personal reasons" a week later.
In this story, a student fails to recognize his professor and insults him, earning him an extra homework assignment. To the student's credit, he actually does a half-decent job on the assignment. Lesson learned, we hope.
Name's the Same: This poor girl keeps getting called to the vice-principal's office because someone else with the exact same name is causing trouble. Thankfully, the people at the office generally realize their mistake when the first girl shows up.
This teacher took most of the semester to realize there were two girls named Sally in the class. By that time, she'd already marked the wrong Sally truant for an entire week.
Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: This teacher gets annoyed at a student for staring at falling snow out the window instead of working, pointing out that nobody else in the class is doing so - turns out this is only because they didn't notice the snow, until the teacher very helpfully pointed it out to them.
Sheltered Aristocrat: In a school situated in an affluent county, these students are absolutely shocked that their teacher didn't like iPads, and didn't have a laptop until college. They wonder what the teacher did to survive, and she of course replies that she played outside.
Skewed Priorities: This teacher, panicked by an unannounced fire drill, runs outside with her cosmetics... but not her class register or the students themselves, so she couldn't be sure which of the students had made it out.
In this story, a criminal law class holds an exercise where a student will state two facts and one lie about themselves, to see how well the other students can spot a lie. One of said students inevitably counters what is actually true because the student claiming it is a girl.
ThisDumb Jock assumes his female math teacher doesn't know anything about football. She surprises him.
Stealth Insult: This student apologizes to an Indian classmate for stereotyping against Indian people. They say that they shouldn't have assumed that all Indians were so smart. The classmate eventually gets what the student was getting at.
Sustained Misunderstanding: In a library, one student asks another for her copy of a book, thinking it's actually a library copy. When the second student replies that the book is her own personal copy, the first student seems to think (from that point) that the library gave her that book, or at least that the second student thinks that. The misunderstanding only gets worse from there.
Take That: This one, against the petty arguments that occur a lot in the Star Wars fandom. Also proof that a true fan can take on the petty fans any day.
Talk About That Thing: This teacher uses the (false) excuse of a student not doing work to take said student to the principal's office...to discuss the bullying he's been subject to, without letting the bullies know he's telling on them.
Tempting Fate: After this student complains to mom about the ridiculous number of fire alarms in the dorm (as no one seems to know how to use an oven), she replies, "Maybe it will be better this time." Cue three fire trucks, sirens wailing, headed toward the dorm.
True Art Is Incomprehensible: invoked No matter what this art student does, whether it involves painstaking effort or just throwing together random junk, gets a 'C' grade from the professor (with the "random junk" effort apparently falling into this trope). The student changes majors soon after.
Twin Telepathy:These students, apparently. Their teacher requests that they be moved into separate classes so they can't cheat off each other.
Ungrateful Bastard: This 2nd-grade student asks the submitter for an answer on a test, and upon receiving it, then asks for the submitter's phone number so he can call his mother and tell her he cheated.
Oh boy. A student breaks his arm, and the first thing three people do is physically test it to see how badly it's actually injured. Thankfully not repeated by the nurse, but seriously—a suspected broken arm should not be tested in that manner; doing so can make the injury far worse.
You Are Not Alone: The basis of this story. A transwoman ducks into the girl's locker room to evade some bullies. The gym teacher fends the bullies off, and says that she considers the student one of them, a sentiment shared by the girls in the locker room. Furthermore, she allows her to hide in the room as a refuge should more troubles occur.
This student doesn't seem to know what the word "vegan" entails. As the confusion seems to be combined with a misconception as to what is and is not an animal product, it also falls under Artistic License - Biology.
A young student objects to another person's use of "gay" (as a derogatory term along the lines of "stupid" or "annoying") along these lines. Also here.
Inverted here, where a teacher is "corrected" on grammar—well, it is the common usage in the Southern U.S., but the teacher's use of "you" instead of "y'all" (for addressing multiple people) is not incorrect.
Reflexive Response: This woman who is apparently so used to negative commentary about her multiple tattoos and piercings that she responds negatively to a compliment before realizing what the other person said.
You Are Not Alone: The above story about phobias— the woman is ashamed of her reaction to the puppeteer on TV, until her husband's friends relate their own phobias to her and reassure her that she's not weird.