Webcomic: Final Fantasy VII: The Sevening
Once upon a time, a train carrying a band of freedom fighters pulled into a station.
And this led to a Super Soldier
and his True Companions
beginning an epic crusade against a worldwide Mega Corp.
, culminating in a battle against a One-Winged Angel
to prevent the very extinction of mankind.
This is not that story. But it's a story about that story.Final Fantasy VII: The Sevening
is an exaggerated, manga-styled Affectionate Parody
of the landmark PlayStation
RPG, Final Fantasy VII
. Pages 1-252 are serialized on SmackJeeves
It pokes fun at everything from plot holes
to the game's questionable translation.
The entirety of the collection can be also found on ObstinateMelon's Deviantart page.
Contains examples of:
- Absurdly Youthful Mother: Cloud's mother was the local milf. Believe it or not, however, she does look like her age. The original game's script actually mentions she's 33 years old◊ at the time Cloud visited her.
- Wait... let's see, canonically Cloud is 21 when the game starts, and the flashback is set five years previously... 33 - (21 - 5)... Ugh, Japaaan!
- Adaptational Wimp: The heroes are practically weak without materia. They can fight normal enemies, but one attack from Thunderbird and everyone dies.
- The buggy, in the original game, is faster than walking and can cross rivers of Amazon widths. Here, it's The Alleged Car; slow as molasses and fraught with engineering issues. So useless is it that Cloud thinks nothing of just giving it away.
- Pretty much every boss qualifies too. Only a small handful of bosses have survived the first attack against them, and NONE have lived through two attacks.
- Abhorrent Admirer: While not being ugly or rude, Priscilla's statement that she was supposed to give Shiva to the person she wants to marry when she grows up freaks Cloud out a little as she is a prepubescent girl. In fact, Cloud is very adamant about reminding people that Yuffie is only 16 and is disgusted by Japan when he learns that she can be one of his dates. This is also one of the major reasons that he tends to ignore most of her attempts to impress him.
- Adaptational Villainy: Cid isn't exactly portrayed in a positive light, what with his treatment of Shera.
- Affably Evil/Punch Clock Villain: The Random Encounter monsters.
- Affectionate Parody: It's clear that the artist absolutely loves the game.
- All Animals Are Dogs: Red XIII self-identifies as a dog, although there's enough cat for cat jokes to happen too.
- All Girls Want Bad Boys: At one point, Aeris admits she's only attracted to assholes.
- All Women Are Lustful: The women aren't subtle at all about wanting to get their hands on Cloud's Buster Sword and even Yuffie tries to get some smoochies at one point.
- Alt Text: Only on the first few pages, then they're replaced by real text and are absent completely from the DeviantArt page.
- Ambiguously Gay: Cloud has his slips every now and then, much to Tifa's irritation.
- Angrish: On Page 355, while chasing Yuffie through the streets of Wutai.
Cloud: "Aaaarrg gaaraara rafslkdaash'afjs'p!"
Tifa: "M-Maybe the rest of you should scout out the area before Cloud explodes."
- Ascended Extra: Johnny, and - briefly - Zangan.
- Storyline-wise, Honey Bee Inn went from an optional but infamous place to the place where Cloud got all of his cross-dressing equipment.
- Aside Glance: Now and then the main characters will give the audience a Surrounded by Idiots look.
- Ate His Gun: A Shinra soldier does this after Vincent gets done telling him his tragic backstory.
- Atomic F-Bomb: Cloud drops one when he realized he could have taken the elevator instead of all the stairs.
- Ax-Crazy: Dyne, to the point that he wants to hunt down and kill his own daughter, under the justification that he'll be reuniting her with his deceased wife.
- Beach Episode: Lampshaded when the party visit Costa Del Sol.
Cloud: "Every crappy Anime show has a beach or hot spring episode dedicated to the sole purpose of shameless and blatant sexploitation. I demand that my party be dressed as ridiculous as I am!"
- Beautiful All Along: Averted by Aeris, if Cloud's reaction (or lack thereof) is any indication.
- Big Eater: Wedge is seen eating in most of his appearances. When asked to guard an exit, he sets up a table next to it, and starts eating a pie. He's inexplicably eating fried chicken on the train. He's even clutching a pizza when he falls off the Sector 7 support pillar.
- Big "NEVER!": Cloud shouts it a few times, like when he photo bombs a picture because he will not be left out of it.
- Blatant Lies: Cloud's story about Sephiroth to Vincent:
Vincent: "So let me get this straight. Sephiroth came here, lost his mind after reading trashy novels, started taking lives then... you arrived riding a white tiger and thwarted his plan by throwing a flaming javelin through his heart, and you also had sexual relations with this woman standing to your leftnote 6 times afterward?"
- "Blind Idiot" Translation: Referenced every now and then. Aeris's "This guy are sick" line is left intact, coupled with the derpiest expression imaginable.
- Bloodier and Gorier: Surprisingly this. Limbs severing and decapitations are common here. Even a graphic disembowelment is showed (although plenty of gory scenes are Played for Laughs).
- Berserk Button: President Shinra flips out when Barret spits on him.
- Brick Joke/Chekhov's Gun:
- Jessie's ID card.
- Also, Cloud sending Yuffie flying during the battle with Bottomswell.
- Cloud seriously regrets throwing away all of the GP he'd saved up when he gets to the Gold Saucer.
- Suicide is against the law, as Cloud found out.
- Butt Monkey: Yuffie.
- Calling Your Attacks: Characters usually announce their limit breaks and summons. And, of course, Sephiroth informs Cloud offhandedly that he's about to use Materia as Abnormal Ammo.
- The Cameo: Jeez. Bomberman, Bomb Man, Sonic the Hedgehog, Firion, Bartz, Ultros, Frog and Johnny, Solid Snake, Lightning, Mario, Edgar and Sazh just to start with. Cameos are less common in recent strips, which makes them all the more hilarious when they do pop up.
- Captain Obvious: After Yuffie traps everyone but Cloud in a cage in Wutai, Aeris informs Cloud that she and the rest of the group might be trapped.
- Changing Clothes Is a Free Action: "Impossibly-quick-wardrobe-change!"
- Chivalrous Pervert: Cloud. Oh Cloud.
- Chocolate Baby: One of the kids Mog and Mogrita have is yellow, unlike the other white ones.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Aeris. It is at least given some explanation due to her growing up entirely in Midgar; a lot of the things the party sees are new to her.
- Comically Missing the Point: Cait Sith correctly predicts the future and gives Cloud a fortune cookie that says Aerith Dies.
- The Comically Serious: Sephiroth clearly wants to be a Knight of Cerebus, but ends up being this instead. When he does his iconic "walk into flames" scene in Nibelheim, he is visibly struggling not to cry or scream over being on fire.
- Vincent is an even straighter example of this. Other than being something of a Meta Guy, he doesn't behave much differently than in the source material.
- Cuteness Proximity: Tifa veers towards this, letting Cait Sith remain on the team just because he's adorable.
- Deadly Euphemism:
Eleanor is all alone right now. I have to bring her daughter to her. (puts on Slasher Smile)
Marlene wants to see her mom, doesn't she?
- Death Glare: Sephiroth literally does one in Cloud's flashback. It makes a dragon's head explode. The dragon gets better.
- Department of Redundancy Department: "IT'S HELLFIRE... IN THE NAME OF HELL!"
- Destruction Equals Off Switch/Cutting the Knot: One strip has Cloud stab a control console to make a door open. In the game, one has to complete an irritating puzzle to open said door.
- Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: At the Train Graveyard, Tifa fights off Doomtrain by performing a full suplex on it. Cloud and Aeris are utterly awestruck by the sight (and in the former's case, aroused).
- Discredited Meme: Done twice so far, for 'Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!' and 'You Shall Not Pass'. In both cases, Cloud forbids the use of the line.
- Disney Villain Death: Don Corneo suffers this fate after Rude shoots him with a spitball.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Cloud shakes and berates Rinoa for giving Tifa a less revealing outfit (namely what Tifa wore in Advent Children):
- The Ditz: Aeris. The artist had to justify a line like "This guy are sick!" somehow, and the result is consistently entertaining.
- Don't Explain the Joke: Missingno, you don't need to tell us why you would consider Lost Number a brother.
- Doomed by Canon: Aeris is, of course, going to die. Like nearly everything else, this is Played for Laughs.
- Driven to Suicide: Vincent kills a Shinra soldier by weaponizing his wangsty backstory.
Vincent: You look like someone that wants to hear about my tragic past.
- Drowning Their Sorrows: Reno is doing this in Wutai while lamenting his Villain Decay.
- Fan Service Pack: Jessie.
- Fan Disservice: Hojo in Costa del Sol. Tifa and Aeris even cast blind on themselves.
- Fandom: Reno has a pretty... enthusiastic one.
- Faux Affably Evil: Sephiroth, for some reason, acted extremely polite with Tifa in the Nibelheim flashback after he burned it but proceeds to slash her for calling Jenova a whore.
- Flynning: Two guys swordfighting on motorcycles isn't quite as awe-inspiring as you'd think.
- French Jerk: Joe the champion Chocobo racer.
- Forgotten Fallen Friend: Subverted. Cloud is reluctant to join forces with the Turks because they destroyed Sector 7, killing Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie. Barret, on the other hand, had forgotten who they were until Cloud reminded him and thought their names were Jessie, James, and Meowth.
- What makes this doubly egregious (and therefore hilarious), is that when Barret "guesses" their names, the panel shows their actual names visibly tattooed on his arm.
- Funny Background Event: On occasion. On page 304, for instance, one panel has Cloud and Tifa talking to Zangan, while in the background, Barret is shooting at some birds, Yuffie is stealing the buggy's wheels (yet it still drives off at the end of the comic somehow) and Aeris and Cait Sith are putting flowers in Red XIII's fur.
- Gamer Chick: Yuffie is an expert at Street Fighter. At the Gold Saucer, she refers to herself as the Game Queen, cosplays as Sakura and has an army of adoring subjects.
- Gasp: Whenever it's comically dramatic. It's sometimes implied that they're not actually gasping: they're saying 'Gasp!'
- Genki Girl: Aeris, surprisingly enough.
- Gilligan Cut: Cloud plays Yuffie in Street fighter.
- Giving Up On Logic:
- Cloud does it at the end of Page 169.
- He keeps falling into the strategic error of trying to understand the universe he's stuck in. Unfortunately, that's not gonna happen.
- Gory Discretion Shot:
- Poor Wedge... But he lives! ... well, until everyone in the sector gets crushed.
- Biggs gets one when he blows himself up with a grenade to take out several troops in pursuit of the heroes.
- Groin Attack: First Rufus and later Sephiroth do this to Cloud.
- Hello, Nurse!: Unlike the original game, people tend to notice that Tifa is unusually buxom and Stripperiffic. Actually lampshaded by Cloud at one point:
, Tifa! What are you wearing?!" Tifa:
"You don't like it? But business has nearly doubled!"
- This gets a callback in the Nibelhim flashback, when she shows up wearing the cowgirl outfit.
- Hotter and Sexier: Everybody looks cuter and sexier than the original game. Jessie in particular got this response from the readers and at least once in-comic (although Don Corneo looks more disgusting than ever).
- Hypocritical Humor: Yuffie, the former Trope Namer for Wutai Theft, complains about an area filled with enemies who steal.
- Idiot Hero: Cloud. It'd be more accurate to say he's an idiot with occasional heroic tendencies.
- Incredibly Lame Pun: Yuffie's Steal/Steel pun from the Wutai event is naturally referenced. Her and Cloud's reactions to the line are predictable.
- Improbable Weapon User: Tifa tries to kill Palmer with a dolphin.
- Innocent Fanservice Girl: Having lived all her life in the slums, Aeris doesn't know how beaches work, and ends up undressing completely.
- Insane Troll Logic:
- Sephiroth claims that he has the power of the Ancients, and thus has the moral right to Take Over the World. Aeris thinks that since he's not a real Ancient, and she is, it's her responsibility to take over the world before Sephiroth does. She abandons this train of thought when Cloud tells her it's a terrible idea.
- After Cloud receives a Groin Attack from Sephiroth, he asks why all the villains are so obsessed with his junk. Aeris, being physically attracted to Cloud, suggests to Tifa (also attracted to Cloud) that they should become villains.
- Sephiroth's descent into insanity is treated as this.
- It Amused Me: Why Rufus travels all the way to Cid's house and demands he hands over the Tiny Bronco, even when he has other means of getting about.
- It's All About Me: Cloud sometimes gets this attitude. Efforts to curtail his ego seem doomed to failure:
Sephiroth: The world doesn't revolve around you.
Sephiroth: Oh. Then shut up, you're annoying.
- Knight of Cerebus: For an affectionate parody and comedy rendition of the story, the author managed to make Dyne WAY creepier.
- Lampshaded the Obscure Reference: Cloud makes a reference to Lunar, and is annoyed when no one else gets it.
- Let's Split Up, Gang: Now provides the trope picture.
Red XIII: Lol k bye!
- On the other hand, defied when the group leaves Kalm and Barret tries to enforce the Arbitrary Headcount Limit. Tifa stops him, since it makes no real sense to do so.
- The Load: The rest of the party cannot stand Cait Sith. According to Cloud, "It's not really part of the party; we just can't figure out how to kill it."
- Marty Stu: In-Universe Cloud accuses Vincent Valentine of being one.
- Medium Awareness: Most of the main characters are aware that they're in a game. Cloud is even aware that he's in a webcomic about a game.
Barret (turning to Cloud): I'm gonna do my thing where I turn to you and say somethin' comical about this game bein' stupid.
Cloud (sympathetically): 'Kay.
- Memetic Badass: Sephiroth is an in-universe one. Everybody agrees he's pretty awesome - especially Sephiroth.
- Mundane Made Awesome: Cid declares that the launching of his rocket will be 'the safest rocket launch ever!'
Rocket Crew: Fuck yeah, SAFETY!
- Mundane Utility: Whenever Cloud remembers that he can use magic outside of battle.
- Murder Is the Best Solution: When Yuffie is fighting her father, Cloud suggests she think outside the box and take advantage of the fact that she should know her father's weaknesses better than anybody. She then invokes this trope and pours some poison on him.
Yuffie: Clever, right? I knew my dad would be weak to murder.
- Mythology Gag: There's a really subtle gag about the first Kingdom Hearts game in #356, when Cloud briefly mistakes Rikku for Yuffie. In the original plans for Traverse Town in that game, it was going to be Rikku helping Cloud there, not Yuffie as in the final version.
- Narcissist: Cloud. He keeps mentioning how handsome he is, and he once referred to his mirror-image hallucination as a "handsome devil" though he defies Self Cest.
- Never My Fault: When it's revealed that the plan to drop Sector Seven was mostly a failure, President Shinra blames Reeve for coming up with it.
- Nightmare Face: Yuffie makes one in Page 159.
- Nightmare Fetishist: Vincent is outright turned on when Odin speaks about how he will slay his foes.
- No Fourth Wall:
- "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: "Actual (adjective) (character) quote of the day!"
- Offscreen Moment of Awesome: The battle against Don Corneo's pet Rancor. We don't get to see it, but the characters assure us that it was indeed awesome.
- Only Sane Man: While none of them seem to be able to keep hold of the Sanity Ball for very long, some manage to keep it longer than others.
- Overly Long Gag: Everything about Sephiroth's jib. It even carries into the author's comments.
- Papa Wolf/Instant Expert: Barret sics Ifrit on Dyne after he threatens to kill Marlene, even though he'd never used Materia before and didn't know how.
- Plot-Based Photograph Obfuscation: When Cloud meets Zack's parents in Gongaga, Mrs Fair shows him a happy family portrait with a young Zack conveniently censored by a simple question mark point on his face.
- Plot Twist: Yuffie complains that it's "going to be one of those plot twist games".
- Recurring Traveller: Somehow, Johnny is always one step ahead of the party.
- Remembered Too Late: Joe doesn't remember until after Cloud has won the Chocobo race that he could have flown over all the pits instead of following the track.
- Reference Overdosed: Plenty of shout outs, both to other Final Fantasy games and unrelated works.
- Revive Kills Zombie: Cloud beats a few monsters with Phoenix Down, but also tries it on Vincent, since he did pop out of a coffin.
- Road Trip Episode: Page 271 has everyone pile into The Buggy and do stereotypical road trip things like suggest travel games, ask "are we there yet?" incessantly, sing "99 bottles of beer on the wall", and get carsick.
- Rule of Cool: Barret asks why Cloud just hopped on a motorcycle when they were trying to escape, and Cloud just responds "Because it's radical".
- Rule of Cute: Tifa doesn't mind Cait Sith that much because "HE'S SUCH A CUTE KITTY!".
- Running Gag:
- Cait Sith keeps getting destroyed.
- Yuffie puking.
- Thaaaat's Reno!
- Cloud bursting into rooms while screaming a one liner.
- The party getting most of their plot-advancing exposition from old men.
- The various Lame Pun Reactions.
- Newly introduced characters sometimes get a point-of-view panel just to underline how weird the Avalanche gang really are.
- And, of course, the characters pulling out a script clearly labelled 'GAME SCRIPT' and reacting to its contents with horror.
Cloud (to the script): You monster!
- Scene Transition: This trope actually appears as a character in the comic. He acts as a narrator and aids the gang in shifting scenes. He doesn't seem to get along well with the other characters.
- Shame If Something Happened: During a flashback, Tseng tries to break a vase while using this trope. As the vase is plastic, it holds up.
- Shout-Out: There's eight in the second page! Solid Snake, Captain Falcon, G. I. Jane, Mr T, Pop n' Fresh aka the Pillsbury Dough Boy, Wedge and Biggs (started from Star Wars and Final Fantasy IV onwards), Bubba, and rebel scum.
- Spell My Name with an "S": A constant source of jokes, and not just with Aeris/Aerith. Butz/Bartz also makes a cameo appearance.
- Spit Take: Happens to Cloud in Gongaga, when a random encounter interrupts him siphoning a fuel tank.
- Spoofed with Their Own Words: Melon loves using the bad translations to spoof the game.
- Spot of Tea: Yuffie, for one panel while the group is in Cid's house.
- Stay in the Kitchen: As though Cid wasn't sexist enough, he's shocked that Aeris and Tifa are in the party instead of the kitchen.
- Straight Gay: Don Cornelo picks "Cloudia" out of the lineup, of course... Hilarity Ensues.
- Suplex Starter And Finisher: On a demonic train, no less.
- Symbol Swearing: For some reason Cid does this, while Barret can turn the air blue as he likes.
- Take That: Whenever Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children comes up:
Cloud: Oh god, is that my horrible vision incarnate!?
- The whole compilation in general. For example, Genesis was drawn in the derpiest way possible and shooed off by both Sephiroth and Cloud.
- It's implied (and later confirmed by Cloud) that Sephiroth went insane because he read Twilight.
- Taking You with Me: Played for dark laughs by Biggs here.
- There Is Only One Bed: Spoken word for word by Tifa, in regards to her and Cloud's prison cell having only one bed.
- They Killed Cait Sith: Luckily for Cait Sith, he's a robot and new models replace the destroyed ones. Lampshaded on at least one occasion:
Cait Sith: Do you know how long it took to ship another one of me out to the middle of the desert!?
- This Is Something He's Got to Do Himself: Cloud fighting Rufus and Barret fighting Dyne. The latter is even lampshaded by Tifa, but Cloud cuts her off.
- Thousand-Yard Stare: Played for laughs and lampshaded in Page 189.
- Town Girls: Tifa, Aeris, and Yuffie.
- Touché: Cloud admits Cait Sith has some usefulness after he uses his Limit Break to summon a Cat Girl in a Fur Bikini.
Cloud: "Well played, talkin cat robot."
- Transparent Closet: He doesn't deny it, but the officer who orders Cloud around doesn't confirm it.
Cloud: "... By the way, watching me the whole time while getting undressed? Really creepy, dude."
Officer: "Nonsense, it was completely necessary."
- Unfortunate Implications: Cloud notes In-Universe that the rest of the minorities in the game are in prison.
- Unwanted Harem: This comic makes Tifa and Aeris explicitly this to Cloud.
- Victoria's Secret Compartment: Parodied on Page 356. While the party is searching for Yuffie in Wutai, Aeris tries looking in Tifa's cleavage.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: Discussed, after mocking Barret's command decisions for most of the comic so far:
Cloud: "Hey! Stop harassing my freaky-techno-buddy!" *punches Loitering Lou in the face*
Tifa: "Wow, did you just act out of character for Barret?"
Cloud: "Of course. I'm the only one allowed to push him around."
- Vomit Indiscretion Shot: Lampshaded. Cloud wonders if "this comic is going to stop puking everywhere".
- Webcomic Of The Game: Of Final Fantasy VII.
- What Were You Thinking?: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!
- Who Writes This Crap?!: Characters are often seen reading and commenting on the game script. Yuffie currently provides the picture.
- It gets to the point where Cloud tries punishing Vincent for not revealing his past by having his teammates quote actual game dialogue.
- Why Don't You Marry It?: Red XIII in response to Cloud talking about how strong Sephiroth is.
- Widow Woman: Cloud's mother.
- Wimp Fight: The aforementioned Tifa/Aeris Catfight. Made funnier when you remember Tifa is an expert Martial Artist.
- Wingding Eyes: Usually the girls get heart eyes around Cloud, but Ester gets star eyes after Cloud tells her some of the Badass stuff he's done.
- You Need to Get Laid: Cloud says that about a 5 year old girl, but she really was an obnoxious know-it-all to him.
- You Can Talk?: Cloud to Red XIII, on Page 90.
Cloud: "... THIS DOG IS FUCKING TALKING!"
- Your Head Asplode: See Death Glare above.
- Also happens to Heidigger, courtesy of a bomb planned for Cloud. He quickly recovers.
- Your Mom: Cloud says that Reno looks kind of silly searching for the kidnapped Yuffie and Elena in the mouth of a Wutai statue. Reno's response?
Reno: Your mom looks kind of silly searching in here.
Cloud: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
- Your Terrorists Are Our Freedom Fighters: Given what it's based on, this is a given.