Web Video: Why My Little Pony Sucks
"A lot of people think My Little Pony sucks. I agree: here's why!"Time Raider is an Italian guy who first caught an episode of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic while babysitting his little cousin. While he didn't like it, all the praise the series was getting convinced him to give it a chance.He regretted it. A lot.Frustrated by the bad quality of the videos who criticize the cartoon (who mostly went around screaming "It sucks" and offending the older people watching it) he decided to do his own videos to explain why he didn't like the show, using Alternative Character Interpretation and Fridge Logic. Since then he made an introductory video, a review of the 15 worst episodes and several others...... Aaaand then deleted them all after a quarrel with YouTube. Is unclear if he will repost them again.
—Time Raider, in the opening of his first video.
- Accentuate the Negative: Zig-zagged: while he is maybe too hard on several cases, he admits when he finds something good.
- Actually Pretty Funny: He thinks Pinkie Pie is an annoying, unfunny douchebag, but he cracked a smile when she dumped on herself the bag of flour in "Baby Cakes" and for her antics during the brawl with the changelings.
- Aloof Big Sister / Parental Neglect: Twilight to Spike, depending as how you see their relationship.
- Alternative Character Interpretation:
Time Raider (while reviewing "Secret of My Excess", a scene with the giant Spike destroying Ponyville): "Thank you, Celestia!"
- He considers Twilight a bad caretaker for Spike, mentioning the fact she almost never thanks him, leaves him alone sometimes for days ("He is a kid!") and seems to give him attention only when he is doing something drastic like running away or leaving.
- Thinks Celestia is an idiot for giving a member of a species ponies know nothing about as the assistant of a young woman instead of keeping him in Canterlot where he could be studied, creating a danger for himself and others.
Celestia: Duh! I wanted my slice of cake!
- Also for allowing a wedding even if the city could have been attacked any minute and the groom was the one defending it. He asked why she would do something like this:
- And again for deciding to free Discord from his stone prison. Time Raider concluded that alicorns must keep their brains in the tip of their horn and that the queen's attack must have destroyed whatever was left.
- Finds Pinkie Pie extremely obnoxious and a creep that stalks people and breaks into their houses, as well as making every situation worse.
- And Now For Something Completely Different: His video about the Mare-Do-Well episode: no review and no snarky comments, but an analysis on why that episode in particular is so hated.
- Anti-Climax Boss: Considers the final confrontations with Discord and the queen of the changelings lame, especially since it requires them both to grab the Idiot Ball. References this when they destroy the giant Timberwolf in "Spike At Your Service".Time Raider: A menacing villain defeated incredibly easily on this show? How shocking.
- Berserk Button:
"I cringe every time she appears! I suffer every time she talks! I want to stab a horse every time she opens her mouth! GO TO HELL!"
- Pinkie Pie. During the first video he is quietly describing the protagonists (even the ones he doesn't like such as Twilight and Rarity) until he gets to her.
- Also, he doesn't take well when they maltreat Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
- Broken Aesop: He said that Spike considering the ponies his family at the end of "Dragon Quest" doesn't work considering he is often left behind by them and the only times he is seen with some of the girls without Twilight is when he is working for them.
- He thinks the reason they made Spike wrote the letter to Princess Celestia at the end of "Owl Well That End Well" is because they were trying to avoid this: he thinks it would have made more sense for Twilight to be writing how you shouldn't make a old friend felt neglected because you have a new friend, but considering how often she leaves Spike alone in season 2 to go out with the girls...
- Cliché Storm: Downplayed: he don't think all the episodes are cliché, but most of them are awfully easy to predict, which makes it difficult for him to get into the story. And when they do use a cliché story, they never do any variation of it. "Spike at your service" is the worst example.Disclaimer: Hasbro confirms that no creativity, imagination or effort were harmed in the making of this episode! You know, since no amount of those were used!"
- Cuteness Proximity: He gushes about the Cutie Mark Crusaders alot."Awww,they should put you on the "Get Well Done Soon" cards!"
- Mostly averted with Fluttershy: He gets what they were trying to do but he feels like it was overdone.
- Deadpan Snarker: Is he ever.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Can't believe Trixie's actions were bad enough to justify making her homeless. He wonders what would have happened had she hurt someone she exploded.
Big Mac/Time Raider: Giving me a love potion was a harmless prank, but taking photos of my sister sleeping under a tree? You three are Equestria's Greatest Monsters!Applebloom/Time Raider: Didn't Applejack once put four ponies' lives in danger by...Big Mac/Time Raider: Equestria's Greatest Monsters!
- Is disgusted by the town's reaction of finding that the CMC are Gummy Gums, especially by Big Mac, that caused him to stop being The Stoic "To become the douche!".
- Double Standard:
- He tries to think what would happen if a little girl worked as the assistant of a man old enough to live on his own and didn't go to school. Cut to a scene of a policeman handcuffing a guy.
- He also complains that the Protagonist-Centered Morality doesn't extend to Spike."If you are a woman you can brainwash, steal and destroy with no consequence! If you are a male the universe will hate you for trying to bake a cake!"Twilight: Spike! How dare you take advantage of others to get gifts? You must be a woman to do that!
- Eight Deadly Words:
- He doesn't care about the fate of Shining Armor and Princess Cadance during "A Canterlot Wedding", since he sees them as one-dimensional Mary Sues. Also thinks that the Changeling Queen, in his opinion, is a terrible villain.
- He makes a list of the five qualities a bad guy should have to make people care about him/her (intelligence, humor, menace, charm and sympathy). She doesn't make in any of them. He admits taking in consideration her being sympathetic (since she is trying to feed) but decided she is having too much fun in doing it to qualify.
- Ensemble Darkhorse:
- He likes Owlowiscious, especially how he helped find Spike and even attacked a giant dragon despite having every reason to be angry after Spike tried to frame him.
- He thinks the show would be better by having the CMC as protagonists.
- After she uses her magic to take off Pinkie's mouth, he declares Trixie his favorite character of the show.
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: The show is of a guy who thinks My Little Pony sucks and explains why.
- Family-Unfriendly Aesop:
- "I'm more important than any of you and everybody should care about my problem!" (Lesson Zero).
- "Always do what people want you to do, even if you are sick of it!" (Luna Eclipsed).
- "If someone want you to leave him alone, keep stalking him all day long! Don't worry, everything will turn out in your favor!" (A Friend In Need).
- "Never question anything you don't know! Only pain will follow! Ignorance is bliss!" (Feeling Pinkie Keen).
- "It isn't worth trying to move away! Everybody else is a jerk!" (One of the many of Dragon Quest).
- Flat Character:
- Applejack, as he notes after pointing out that Earth Ponies really get the short end of the stick next to unicorns and pegasi.Time Raider: But hey, look at the bright side: they can make up for it with their personality! (A picture of Applejack and one of Pinkie Pie appear. Over AJ is written "Boring", over Pinkie is written "Annoying".) Aaaw, crap!
- Shining Armor and Cadance: one of the several reasons he doesn't give a crap about them.
- Applejack, as he notes after pointing out that Earth Ponies really get the short end of the stick next to unicorns and pegasi.
- Hypocritical Heartwarming: Calls Rainbow Dash showing sorrow over Spike's absence in "Just For Sidekick" this, since it has never been a problem for them before.Time Raider: But, hey, maybe I'm wrong! Maybe they do miss him when he is left behind!
Twilight: Spike, I'm back! Boy, how did we miss you at my birthday!
Spike: So I can come the next time?
- Hypocritical Humor: The fact that in "Over A Barrel" trying to sing a song to resolve a conflict is seen as childish, proving that this show isn't some silly nonsense... only to have a fight with pies to the face and the buffaloes making peace when they share pies with them.Time Raider: Oh yeah! This is the mature stuff!
- He even plays the music of the "Benny Hill Show" over the attack of the buffaloes.
- Karma Houdini: One of the main reason he dislikes the show so much: he is okay with protagonists screwing up sometimes, but that requires them to actually get punished for doing it. He compares it to shows like Kim Possible and The Powerpuff Girls where the characters actually face repercussions when they do something bad.
- Mood Whiplash: He started the review of "Dragon Quest" in a very deadpan tone, explaining that the episode in particular was the reason he decided to start criticizing the cartoon. Then for the rest of the review he acts normally, until the end, when he states that taking the story of a boy who must decide between two different but valid systems and changing it in a cliché, dumbed down black and white situation with bad guys on one side and good guys on the other proved to him that the show has nothing to offer to anyone older than 8.
- He finds the scene where Fluttershy stares the giant dragon into submission utterly ridiculous. He laughed for two straight minutes."Dude, you could splat her against the mountain! By sneezing!
- When Cadence says "My love will give you strength!" he groans.
- He finds the scene where Fluttershy stares the giant dragon into submission utterly ridiculous. He laughed for two straight minutes.
- Once per Episode: He always concludes a review by starting to read or watch something better. Some of them are Paperinik New Adventures, Much Ado About Nothing and the 2012 version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
- Pet the Dog: He makes very clear he is not going to make fun of the Periphery Demographic as his problem is with the show, not the people watching it.
- Poor Communication Kills:
- Something that gets on his nerves really quickly because how often it happens. He broke down in his video about "The Last Roundup":Time Raider: You are friends! Friends talk to each others! TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS!
- He lampshades it in the review of "Owl's Well That Ends Well":Twilight: He is only here as my nocturnal assistant! I probably should have told you this when you two first meet, or should have listened to the girls when they suggested you were jealous, or should have talked to you when you were acting so out of character...("pause") I really suck at this, don't I?
- Something that gets on his nerves really quickly because how often it happens. He broke down in his video about "The Last Roundup":
- Protagonist-Centered Morality: One of the worst cases in a cartoon, according to him. He explains that Twilight, Applejack and Pinkie Pie should be in jail and that you could make the argument even for Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash.
- The Scrappy:
- He really, really hates Pinkie Pie and Angel. So much in fact that two of his "Top 5 favorite scene of My Little Pony" are Owlowiscious menacing of eating Angel and Fluttershy chewing out Pinkie.
- Self-Deprecation: After watching Twilight's dance in "Sweet And Elite":"Mmm! It still has more dignity that what I did at my cousin's wedding!"
- He made some fake announcement videos in black and white about dragons in the style of the famous "MAN!" videos of the The Nostalgia Critic, wondering if they show them to young ponies in school. He showed them after Zecora said all dragons are naturally greedy and after Twilight admitted ponies know nothing about dragons because they are too scary and dangerous.
- When he name the five qualities of a good villain, he put images next to each one:
- So Okay, It's Average: Thinks this of most of the episodes.
- Take That:
- After calling Shining Armor and Cadence two blatant Mary Sues, he prays to the authors to stop making fanfiction and let fans do them, while showing images of Carlie Cooper and Dragonball Evolution.
- One of his friends pointed out to him the Death Battle between Rainbow Dash and Starscream: he considers it absurd and insulting having Rainbow Dash destroying him, but that it is still better than when Sam did it.
- The Faceless: We never see him in his videos.
- The One Thing I Don't Hate About You: He made a video with the "Top 5 favorite scenes of My Little Pony". He is especially surprised that they don't make Iron Will a generic bad guy.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Gives one to Twilight in the review of "Owl Well That End Well":Time Raider: And- I kid you not- she just leaves! [pause] You know, Twilight, I've been suspecting this for all the season, but now I have the confirmation... YOU ARE AN AWFUL GUARDIAN! I hate to break it to you, supergenius, but taking care of a kid requires more than yelling at him! Sure, it would be nice and easy, but it takes more: he is clearly behaving in an unusual way and is upset by something, and you are totally failing to see this! I'm not saying you are wrong being angry to him, since he made something wrong, but the next step is trying to understand why, not walk away with your head straight up like if you had a broom showed up your ass! I don't care how much of an antisocial Book Worm you are: you have known him for years! Your friends notice it, including Rainbow Dash, that at this point is still fully in her jerky side! YOU FAIL AS A CARETAKER AND AS A FRIEND! So take your arrogant, bitchy, Holier Than Thou attitude and CHOKE ON IT!
- They Wasted a Perfectly Good Character: He was really curious about Luna adapting to the modern world. He gets pissed when she doesn't do squat in "A Canterlot Wedding".
- They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot:
- His main problem with "Just For Sidekicks" after seeing the photo of Spike returning Peewee to his parents."Why aren't we watching this? It would even give us a perfect reason for him to not go to the Crystal Empire: he gets invited but doesn't go because Peewee needs him. Boom! And no one would have to be made an idiot or a jerk!"
- Complains that "Dragon Quest" would have been a great occasion to learn something about dragon society, especially since ponies themselves are completely ignorant about it. Instead...Time Raider (imitating the writer of the episode): "Sorry if you were interested, but we were too busy deciding if putting mustaches on the dragons and halos on the ponies to make you better understand who are the bad guys and who are the good guys!"
- His main problem with "Just For Sidekicks" after seeing the photo of Spike returning Peewee to his parents.
- What the Hell, Townspeople?: Twice: First when they let a sleeping Spike fall in cold water while laughing, and then when they all abuse the CMC for what they wrote on the newspaper.There is something really wrong when Angel is the one having the most reasonable reaction!
- X Meets Y: He defined Pinkie as "The unholy combination of Mater from Cars and Rev from Loonatics Unleashed!"