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Web Video: Video Game Confessions
So I'm sitting there, tending bar...

"This is Dominic. Dominic works at as five star restaurant called the Pixel Palace. There, some of video games' most popular celebrities pop in to have a drink. Sometimes, they share stories, and even secrets. Because—as we all know—what the bartender hears is confidential... isn't it?"

As the bartender to some of the most famous characters in the video game world, Dominic has seen and heard many things, and every so often he will sit down and share some of his stories (as well as his artwork) with the people at That Guy with the Glasses.

You can watch it here.


Provides Examples Of:

  • Ask a Stupid Question...: In response to Dominic wondering why Eggman would steal the Angry Birds eggs: "Because his name is Eggman!"
  • Ax-Crazy: Samus and Snake's Box
  • The Bartender: Dominic.
  • Bring My Brown Pants: Link wets himself after the guy he's been hitting on (Sheik) reveals herself as Zelda.
  • But I Digress
  • Callback: The series's very first episode has Mario admitting that Peach seemed to have Stockholm syndrome and has developed a kink for being in cages thanks to being captured so many times. Princess Daisy later reveals that it is all a clever ploy thought up by Peach herself.
    • One episode has a Link hitting on another guy at the bar and when the said guy asks about his relationship with Zelda Link says they have a agreement that let's his sword swing both ways. Unfortunately for Link, the guy he was hitting on was Sheik who then revealed herself as Zelda. (Note the Oh, Crap, Bring My Brown Pants, and Groin Attack tropes on this page). In a later episode Link is hitting on Pacman who is enjoying himself more then a married pac should, Dominic asks about the Mrs. and Pacman says they have a agreement to which Link pips up that he and Zelda have one as well making Dominic roll his eyes.
  • Cassandra Truth: Daisy's episode reveals that Peach is secretly planning to conquer the world. She tells Dominic that's she free to tell him this because nobody will believe him, thanks to Peach's public image.
  • Catch Phrase: "You see a lot of strange things as a bartender. You see a lot of strange things at the Pixel Palace. So I see a lot of strange things as a bartender at the Pixel Palace. And that ain't no lie. Swear to it."
    • "So I'm sittin' there, tendin' bar..."
  • Companion Cube: Solid Snake and his Box.
  • Crapsack World: While the lines between the video game world as a job and as part of reality isn't really set in stone, some of the things Dominic hears implies that the world isn't exactly in the best of shape. Samus is Axe Crazy and can get away with numerous violent acts, GLaDOS is on the loose and infecting people's cars, and, worst yet, both the Angry Birds' government and Peach's government are manipulating the public to their advantage.
  • Depraved Bisexual: Link. The homosexual part is definitely the more emphasized, but in his first appearance, he explains that "his sword swings both ways." Strangely, it seems he remains married, even after his first appearance.
  • Driven to Suicide: Chell commits suicide after Dominic offers her cake.
  • Entendre Failure: All the time.
  • Fake Brit: Doug Walker as Dominic the bartender.
  • Furry Fandom: Parodied with Fox McCloud becoming a "humany", an animal who likes to dress up as a human.
    • Interestingly, the human specifically mentioned being cosplayed is Jessica Rabbit.
  • Gayngst: Donkey Kong Jr.
  • Grievous Harm with a Body: A murdererer throws Solid Snake's parents' corpses (just roll with it, ask his cardboard box if you have a problem with that) around like nunchucks.
  • Groin Attack: Zelda does this to Link.
    • Samus also did this to Leisure Suit Larry... in ''the most horrible way that's humanly possible!' (He probably deserved it.)
  • Hot Skitty-on-Wailord Action: Donkey Kong and Pauline
    "I don't even know how a giant ape and a medium sized woman can even... I'm not gonna go there"
  • Jerkass: Link and, for what he did to Sonic, Tails.
  • Multiple Choice Past: Snake either had parents who got killed hilariously or he's a clone.
  • Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: Duke Nukem's vision for Duke Nukem Forever would involve Johnny Depp as a slug monster who shits out real diamonds, Disneyland with zombified inhabitants owned by Angelina Jolie, a monstrous fire breathing Eiffel Tower with Jerry Lewis's head, a mechanical biting Mount Rushmore that fights against the Eiffel Tower, a resuscitated Titanic with tits, and the nuking of Canada. And this game would somehow involve all of the actual people, monuments, etc.; money is no object!
  • No Party Given: Subverted. After his career in video games crashes, Earthworm Jim works by advising US Presidential candidates. At first Dominic avoids mentioning who specifically Jim works for, but later lets slip that it's Mitt Romney.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: Peach
  • Oh, Crap: Link when he learns the man he was hitting on was his girlfriend... wife... thing.
  • Once an Episode: Dominic says the lines at on the page image and at the end of the page are said at the start and the end of the episode.
  • Papa Gorilla: Donkey Kong.
  • Polygon Ceiling: Earthworm Jim spends most of his encounter with Dominick ranting about how hard he hit it, particularly sore about how the console's limitations crippled the usual surreal creativity his games brought to light.
  • Punch Clock Hero: Simon Belmont's problem-he's a vampire slayer in a world where vampires are getting very close to extinction, thanks in part to his own hypercompetency. Dominic helps him pick up zombie hunting.
  • Really Gets Around: Link. Let's see...Zelda, Kid Icarus, Luigi, The entire cast of Fire Emblem, Q*bert, DK Jr.
  • Straw Feminist: Samus.
  • Take That: Doug's already publicised hostility toward Avatar was taken to mind-breaking levels in the episode for Duke Nukem. The episode does criticize what had been delaying production of Forever, but mostly functioned as a build-up to a shot at Avatar. And, to an extent
    • The Angry Bird episode is this about the war to find the weapons of mass destruction.
    • Earthworm Jim episode is a build-up to a dig (no pun intended) on Mitt Romney's campaign.
  • Unusual Euphemism: Subverted. Bonk rants on and on about his wife bonking other people, disturbing Dominic until a concussion is brought up. Double subverted as he reveals he really did mean what Dominic initially thought.
  • War Is Hell: The Angry Bird episode discusses this.
  • Wham Line: From the Solid Snake follow-up episode: "[T]hen, all of a sudden, the box started talking."
    • From the TGWTG Volume 4 DVD, comes this line from the Sub-Zero episode. Sub-Zero: "You see, I deliver ice now. Your ice." Cue the bartender looking at the Icy Margarita he gave him and notices an eyeball...that belonged to someone from Health Code.
  • What Measure Is a Non-Human?: Samus wonders why killing aliens makes her a hero but killing humans makes her a psychopath.

"You see a lot of strange things as a bartender, see a lot strange things at the Pixel Palace. So, I see a lot of strange things as a bartender at the Pixel Palace, and that is no lie. Swear to it.
Todd in the ShadowsThe New TensWeird Video Games
Transylvania TelevisionWeb VideoWhat the Fuck Is Wrong with You?

alternative title(s): Video Game Confessions
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