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Web Video: Pro Jared

ProJared is a gaming review channel hosted, created and run by former Screwattack member Jared Knabenbauer. On his channel "Pro Jared" (previously DM Jared, still used as the user link), Jared does 3 main shows:

  • ProJared, the main show, is a show in which Jared reviews a game and plays it, giving a plot summary of the game he's playing and gives it a humorous take at it. These reviews are more for fun, usually featuring bad games and having humorous scores such as "A bucket of tears out of ten."
  • One Minute Reviews, his second show, is where Jared is only given a minute to review a game, normally a modern game, and usually in a more serious light than ProJared reviews.
  • Full reviews, in which he usually spends five to ten minutes more thoroughly reviewing games. These reviews are much more professional than the others, going in depth into the good and bad traits of a game.

Besides those main shows, he does several other kind of videos, such as short skits, guides, and Self-Imposed Challenge Let's Plays.

Jared's YouTube channel can be found here, and his page on the newly resurrected Normal Boots is right here (which is where he'll be uploading videos to first from now on, in order to avoid problems he started having with YouTube in late 2013).

    Games ProJared Has Done Videos On 


  • Actually Pretty Funny: Even though Jared spends most of his Two Worlds II review trashing the game, he admits at the end that he thought it was a decent game that actually had a few funny moments when its delves into Self-Parody.
  • Alas, Poor Scrappy: invokedIn his Nuzlocke playthough of Pokemon Fire Red, this reaction to his Golbat dying.
    "He wasn't my favorite, but I didn't want him to die."
    • Completely averted with Burden the Snorlax, who he sends off with a cheerful "Bye!"
  • Badass:
    • Nuptup the Vileplume was one of his best pokemon in Pokemon Nuzlocke. It even survives to the end, though this is primarily due to Jared not sending Nuptup out.
    • Jinglejangle the Klefki, strong enough to 1-hit KO with merely a stare, durable enough to survive an Electrode's self-destruct. Too bad for the fact that he's an Eleventh Hour Ranger, due to that Nuzlocke having a Downer Ending.
  • Bad Boss: In "Animal Crossing New Leaf - Problem Solver" Jared plays a mayor who is too busy setting up pitfalls, fishing and hunting for butterflies to properly manage his town. He ultimately solves his problems by sending citizens gifts and letters.
  • Bittersweet Ending: Pokemon Nuzlocke ends in his victory, but 2/3 of his then-current party died bringing him his victory. That's not counting the rest of his Pokemon who were KIA.
  • Broke the Rating Scale:
    • His non-serious reviews always hand out a "Object relevant to the game/overall experience" out of 10.
    • invokedShows up occasionally in his One Minute Reviews. For example, Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate gets a 12 out of 10, and Sim City a "*Beep* it! I'm going to bed."
  • Call Back: Jared searching for a fairy in a cluster of trees, picking the wrong one, and getting killed by a swarm of bees in Hydlide gets a Call Back in the Virtual Hydlide video when the exact same scenario happens.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: In his Nuzlocke of Pokémon FireRed Jared asks chat "how fucked would [he] be" if he entered a Gym with only four Pokemon. The crowd responds with "very fucked, super fucked, utterly and completely fucked, so fucking fucked, gee fucking gee" and so on.
  • Cross Over: With PeanutButterGamer for Pocky & Rocky.
  • Despair Event Horizon: It happens to Jared in the Pokemon Y Nuzlocke when Rathalos dies.
  • Downer Ending: His Pokemon Y Nuzlocke run ends with a game over.
  • Everything's Worse With BEEEEEES!: See Hydlide, Virtual Hydlide, and his list of "Top Ten Bees in Video Games".
  • Flat "What.": Lets one out during Two Worlds upon learning that one of the main quest line characters is named Ho.
  • Four Point Scale: Averted. Jared isn't afraid to give scores below a five out of ten to games he finds mediocre or bad. On the other hand, he also considers sevens and eights out of tens to be good scores and gives them to games he likes.
    • Unlike some examples, though, he's not afraid about using the very top end of the scale, having given out several nines and two tens despite being a fairly new reviewer.
    • He also makes the concession that his point-score of a game's quality doesn't necessarily map directly to entertainment value. Best demonstrated when he gave Project X Zone a 4/10 in a One Minute Review, but later uses it to pass time in his Haven And Hearth video.
  • Gushing About Games Jared Likes: His One Minute Review of Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate can be summed up as Jared trying to gush as much as he can in one minute or less, giving it a score of 12/10. His extended review released shortly after still has some gushing, but he was not afraid to acknowledge the game's flaws, giving it a "great but not perfect" score of 8/10.
  • I Know Mortal Kombat: "First Person Soldiers" mocks this.
  • Interface Spoiler: It didn't start this way, but each Nuzlocke video has a picture of the current team he is using as of each video. Newcomers to his series will pretty much know who dies and who lives if their eyes wander. He did seem to realize that this was the case, and put up pictures of the Elite Four and Champion for his final videos.
  • It's Personal: Jared started the channel by posting a negative review of Two Worlds because he felt the game was massively over-hyped and horribly under-delivered, but somehow escaped any notoriety.
  • Jump Scare: PeanutButterGamer of all people pulls one on Jared in Pocky & Rocky.
  • Motor Mouth: Not usually, just when doing his One Minute Reviews.
  • Nightmare Retardant: invokedHe created a guide to turn the game Slender into this.
  • Offhand Backhand: Discovers he can pull this off in Blackthorne, much to his delight. With a friggin' automatic shotgun.
  • Railroading/Plot Armor: Specifically complains about these in his Beyond: Two Souls review, stating that it's hard to care about winning QTEs when the protagonist will get out of it alive anyway.
  • Rated M for Manly: Wepler the Cubone, for doing what no Pokemon before him has done (surviving a self destruct).
  • Running Gag:
    • Whenever an RPG has a "collect four treasures of the elements" plot Pro Jared says, as deadpan as possible, "Gee, an epic RPG where I have to collect four treasures of the elements? I've never heard that one before." And then he holds up a copy of Final Fantasy I for the NES.
      • When he reviews Final Fantasy Mystic Quest, he starts to do the same gag, and then halfway through holding up the cartridge goes "WHOA WAIT A SECOND!"
    • He has a Let's Play of a Nuzlocke Run of FireRed. One of the best (and probably his favorite) Pokemon on his team is a Vileplume named Nuptup. Each time he says Nuptup's name, he edits in a brief picture of Nuptup with its name below it.
  • Self-Imposed Challenge: His Nuzlocke playthroughs of the Pokemon games. In Pokemon Y, he also added the rule of turning off the Exp. Share.
  • Series Mascot: Nuptup the soul-eating Vileplume is starting to become this.
  • Shaped Like Itself: His final score for Virtual Hydlide is a Hydlide out of 10.
  • Sound Effect Bleep: Used every time he curses on his scripted videos. His non-scripted series usually leave them uncensored, and as of his SimAnt review he seems to have dropped it.
  • Take That: In his One Minute Review of The Banner Saga, he says that the game is great, and then adds that one of the reasons you could buy it is because it'll "piss off everyone over at the Candy Crush Saga", referencing the fact that the games trademarked the words "Candy" and "Saga".
  • That One Boss: The innocent Com Mon known as Rattata (across many different trainers) during his Fire Red Nuzlocke managed to take out a startling number of his pokemon.
  • The Stinger: After the end of Jared's failed Y Nuzlocke the screen fades the black, then an extra scene at the end shows that Jared will be playing Pokemon Darkcry next.
  • This Is Unforgivable: After Burden kills Oh,he, his first caught Pokémon, he caught it, but even then, he couldn't forgive him about the incident. Even after Burden died against Blackbelt Koichi's Hitmonchan, the parting words he had for him was: "I never forgave you!".

"That's why my final rating for this article... is a strand of Fast Eddie's beard out of ten."
PeanutButterGamerCreator/PolarisBroken Quest
Pro Gamer GauntletWeb VideoProject: Library

alternative title(s): Pro Jared
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