The Abridged Series of Hellsing Ultimate, made by Team Four Star. That's about all you need to know.Originally intended to be only a single episode, everyone enjoyed it so much that they decided to make more.You can find it here.
Hellsing Ultimate Abridged contains the following Tropes:
A Demi-God I Am: Luke Valentine refers to himself as a Demigod when confronting Alucard. The latter proceeds to show him justhowwrongheis.
Alucard seems pretty fond of shooting these down whenever one of his opponents delivers one.
Walter is pretty good at doing these, and backing them up.
Walter: Hello, my name is Walter C. Dornez, ex-vampire hunter and butler to the Hellsing organization. I answer the door, I clean up the estate, and I take out the trash. And I also kill self-entitled little twats like yourself.
Alexander Anderson: "Now, what do you say we go back to my place for a bowl of my favorite cereal, Frankenber—oh, son of a Protestant whore!"
Bait-and-Switch Credits: The first episode starts with the opening for what appears to be a One Piece Abridged Series, only to suddenly cut to a dimly-lit house full of corpses.
Black Comedy: Absolutely runs on this. Though given the source material, that's probably to be expected.
Black Comedy Rape: Invoked to be deconstructed. Jan forces one of Integra's soldiers to read out an extremely abusive and crude letter detailing in depth how he will rape her to death in the most violent way possible. The soldier is very clearly horrified and disturbed by it. Jan is the only one who is amused.
"Now pardon me while I blow this faggot ginger's brains outOHGODNO!"
Alucard, obviously, though Anderson is apparently no slouch in this department either.
Father O'Mally'O'Connel'O'Carrol'O'Reilly'O'Brian'O'Sullivan (who is also Italian): Tell-a me, Anderson: What is your favorite thing to do?
Anderson: Spreading the word and love of Jesus Christ to the many people of the world, teaching peace and love for all.
Father: And killing-a vampires?
Anderson: *grins* Ah, just try to fucking stop me.
Father: And what about... Protestants?
Anderson: Second verse same as the first. Now put me on a plane so I can put them in a hearse!
Also Police Girl.
Bothering by the Book: When Integra orders Alucard to stay in the basement during her meeting with their financial backers. Then the Hellsing HQ gets attacked.
Alucard: You see I'm under direct orders from my boss (who is a total bitch by the way) that I'm not allowed to leave this room until such time as the committee has left the building. I was even bribed. Imagine that.
Call Back: In episode 2, when Alucard dislikes Integra's demands, he says "I don't have to take this, I'm going for a walk." Episode 1 shows us how those tend to turn out.
Chivalrous Pervert: Although he's an exceptional Jerkass, Alucard kind of suits this. Despite being a massive pervert who is implied to see prostitutes and gives assistance to women based purely on the size of their breasts, he is apparently "holding out" for Integra... although her rage at everything he does probably hurts his chances.
Cluster F-Bomb: The whole cast, but Jan Valentine deserves special mention.
(while being shot) "Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckmotherfuckin'fuckcuntwithafuckin'tittyfuckfuckFUCK!"
Deadpan Snarker: Alucard and Police Girl, but mostly Alucard.
Luke: I am trying to have a serious conversation with you here.
Alucard: Oh, so am I. And I'm failing... and I'm sorry for that. It's just that I'm so agitated, because this blond little shit strolled into my room, destroyed my 70" plasma TV, and is trying to impress me like I'm his alcoholic father.
(Luke and Alucard point their guns directly at each other's head)
Alucard: Be a sport and grab daddy another beer, would you?
Dissimile: In the scene when Police Girl goes into a blood rage Alucard expresses his desire to fuck her had he not been holding out for Integra, and then she gets stabbed withdozens of knives:
"Well, kinda like that, only with less symbolism and more my penis in your vagina."
Everyone Calls Her Police Girl: In this series, Seras (which she pointed out). Her name's even listed as such in the credits.
Godwin's Law / Take That: By proxy. Jan reveals that he was sent by the Nazis to attack the Hellsing Mansion, and dies immediately afterward. Integra, Walter, & Police girl's assumptions? George Lucas, the Miami Heat, and the Mötley Crüe respectively (although Police Girl admits that her's was because of her "vampire hearing").
Guile Heroine: Integra solves her financial difficulties by letting her backers listen to Alucard's brutal dismemberment of Luke Valentine. They're so terrified that they give her the support she needs without any further hassle.
Heroic Comedic Sociopath: Alucard goes above and beyond the call, to the point where it seems that the only reason he's at all better than his enemies is that he can be bribed into not murdering everything he sees.
Jerkass Stu: Despite the comedic tone of the series, it has a surprisingly good deconstruction of this trope. This version of Alucard lacks any sense of true loyalty to Integra and, as a result, can quite literally get away withanythinghe wants in-universe. While people will complain, they won't actually do anything to stop him because nobodycan. Integra shows just how infuriating and hate-inspiring such a character would be on several occasions. On the plus side, she does find ways to use his power to her advantage (see Guile Heroine).
Jerk With A Heart Of Jerk / Troll: Alucard's characterisation can basically be summed up as this, but especially towards Integra. There is no indication that he follows her orders out of any sense of loyalty. Rather, it seems like she's just bribing him not to destroy everything.
Except for the moments where he follows some of Integra's orders. So it's far more likely he's screwing with her. Why bother being bribed to get a 70 inch plasma screen TV anyway when he could go out and get it himself?
"Seriously, there's like forty zombies in here. Just one shot to the head and they explode!" *gunshot* *splat* "It's like House of the Dead. Only, like...a hundred times more cooler!"
One of the only lines he didn't take from the movie was "It's a shame for ya lost yer' head. A careless Vampire who wound up dead, ya wore yer' sin like it's some kinda prize. Too many lies...Too many lies." is a slightly modified set of the opening lyrics to WWE superstar Sheamus' theme song
The heavy implication being that the whole reason HSOD started was because Alucard was 99.9% done with the mission when he left—which gets even more hilarious when you consider that Kohta Hirano is a character in that show based on the Hellsing's mangaka, and sharing the same name.
Unstoppable Rage: Seras goes into one destroying Jan Valentine's ghouls. Integra later calls it a "Blood Rage", implying it's something that all true vampires can do.
We All Live in America: Episode Two mentions that Alucard crashed Integra's father's car into a Dairy Queen, but they have no branches in England.