- "Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shit castle. The prince was a douchebag. But then, one winter's night, an old bitch came into the castle, and as punishment, transformed him into a hideous fag."—The opening narration
Beauty and the Beastiality
- Department of Redundancy Department: "Every last inch of me's covered in Gaston! (Gaston tears his shirt open, revealing his chest to be covered in ... himself).
Le Fou: Gaston!
- "No one says 'Gaston' to Gaston!"
- Disproportionate Retribution: Because Belle won't come for dinner, the Beast destroys the White House.
- Famous Last Words: As Gaston is plummeting to his death:Gaston: "I use antlers in all of my DECORATING!"
- Gag Penis: "No one's dick's as incrediibly thick as Gaston!"Billy Mays: Not anymore.
- Gainax Ending: "Hail! Hail Doofania!"
- Genius Ditz: Gaston is apparently good at factoring.
- Take ThatBeast: Show me the girl.(mirror shows the opening sequence to Jonas)Beast: (enraged) WHAT!?