Web Video / Aldrivers, Devourer of Cos

"Furthermore, even bigger apologies than owed to Thomas Jefferson last time go to Joan Rivers, whom I, for the record, had barely so much as heard of prior to her ERB inclusion."

- Description from ERB YTP: The Birth of Aldrivers, Devourer of Cos

Aldrivers, Devourer of Cos is a YouTube Poop series made of various clips, mostly from Epic Rap Battles of History and spliced dialogue to create a unique story.

Originally "starting" during the George Carlin vs Richard Pryor battle, Joan Rivers decides to eat Bill Cosby alive instead of knocking him out because he was a criminal. Bill warns her not to because it would set her down a path to being a monster but she did not listen and hence, became a power-hungry tyrannical monster who is bent on eating the entire world with powers stronger than anyone could comprehend. Only a Ragtag Bunch of Misfits can save the world but they are running out of time. Can they succeed before Joan devours the entire universe?

First created by a YouTuber, MolemanNineThousand, who created his own rap battles, which can all be found in this playlist, he decided to make his own story. His test run, ERB YTP: Thomas Jefferson Reveals the Truth, Inciting Frederick Douglass to Take Drastic Measures was to see how his audience would react to such content. Seeing it was ok, he proceeded to start the series, the named Aldrivers, Devourer Of Cos. Consisting of eight main chapters plus a bonus installment used to announce the finale after a lengthy hiatus, the series has been completed as of September 2023.

They all can be viewed in this list:

• Prequel Thomas Jefferson Reveals the Truth
• Chapter 1 The Birth of Aldrivers, Devourer of Cos
• Chapter 2 The Rise of Aldrivers, Devourer of Cos
• Chapter 3 A World Gripped in Terror by Aldrivers, Devourer of Cos
• Chapter 4 The Alliance Against Aldrivers, Devourer of Cos
• Chapter 5 All Along the Watchtower to Aldrivers, Devourer of Cos
• Chapter 6 The Hand of Aldrivers, Devourer of Cos
• Chapter 7 (Uncut) The Cult of Aldrivers, Devourer of Cos ^note It was initially split into four parts due to Moleman wanting to show he has worked on the project. The four parts can be viewed below.
  • Chapter 7-1
  • Chapter 7-2
  • Chapter 7-3
  • Chapter 7-4
• Bonus chapter The Apotheosis of Aldrivers, Devourer of Cos ^note Based off its slot in the uncut Chapter 8 video, events of this happened between Chapter 2 and 3
• Chapter 8 (Uncut) The Wrath of Aldrivers, Devourer of Cos ^note Much like Chapter 7, Chapter 8 was released in 6 parts.
  • Chapter 8-1
  • Chapter 8-2
  • Chapter 8-3
  • Chapter 8-4
  • Chapter 8-5
  • Chapter 8-6 (Final episode)

He has also created the scripts which can be found on this list:

• Chapter 1 and 2
• Chapter 3 and 4
• Chapter 5 and 6
• Chapter 7
• Chapter 8

Aldrivers, Devourer Of Cos contains examples of:

• Adaptational Heroism: Donald Trump was portrayed as a Hate Sink and Politically Incorrect Villain in his second and far more substantial ERB appearance (although his third appearance, which all of this series' audio until the last part was made before, toned this characterization down considerably); here, he is one of the heroes. An original rap battle made by MolemanNineThousand in 2017 also characterized Trump similarly to this video as a direct response to ERB's treatment of him in 2016.
• Adaptational Villainy:
  • Thomas Jefferson. In both real life and in the ERB canon, Thomas Jefferson was the one who tried stopping the slave trade from continuing when he was Virgina's governor although he was unsuccessful. In this series, he was the one who actually started the slave trade. He was also the one who assassinated the Kennedys and was a self-admitted child rapist.
  • Obviously Joan would never have thought of cannibalism in real life. Even her ERB incarnation only verbally tore into Cosby for a good reason. This version of Joan decides that cannibalism is the way to go and proceeds to become an all-powerful being.
  • Tony Hawk. This person decided to sell out all of humanity to Joan Rivers and become her dragon. Both his real-life and his ERB version are actually somewhat decent people to talk to and are not devil worshippers.
  • Charles Darwin. The real life version and even his ERB incarnation loved his children dearly. In this continuity, he happily mentions to Ash Ketchum (who visibly looks shocked) how he tortured, raped, and ate them. He also was the one who carried out the terrorist attacks on 9/11 by using his semen to melt away the steel beams.
  • For that manner, Ash Ketchum himself qualifies. An All-Loving Hero in canon, he would never join an apocalyptic death cult, and he certainly wouldn’t feed his Pikachu to an unholy monstrosity as a sacrifice.
  • Ronald "Jeremy" McDonald. Whereas in his own series Ronald was just the mascot of McDonalds, this version boast about murdering more people than Bluebeard, was the Boston Strangler, and as Moon Man, was the leader of both the Fourth Reich and the grand wizard of the Ku Klux Klan.
• Agony of the Feet: Joan decides to crush Thor under foot. This backfires because Thor is made of Legos.
• Airborne Aircraft Carrier: Bill O'Reilly's private flying fortress. Don't tell him to share it, that's how he survives.
• Almost Dead Guy: Batman when talking to Ted after Tony Hawk's defeat; signified by a bloody overlay based on those seen when wounded in First-Person Shooter games.
• Animal Mecha: Isaac Newton's huge Tyrannosaurus mecha that's gonna decapitate the completely crazy homicidal maniac Joan Rivers.
• The Antichrist: Isaac Newton calls Joan this.
• Any Last Words?: Both Joan and Tony Hawk ask their victims, George Carlin for the former and Bill S. Preston for the latter, this trope before killing them.
• Apocalypse How: Joan is causing a Class 3a in order to get enough power to trigger a Class X-4.
• Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking:
  • How Thomas Jefferson lists off the American utopia if he wasn't around:
  Thomas Jefferson: Without me, here's a taste of what America would be: No racism, no wars, no disease, no criminal syndicates, no North Korea, no Jake Paul. See?
  • Charles Darwin telling Ash Ketchum the truth about certain media that he wrote, which doesn't count The Origin of Species. Also doubles as a Take That! to all the mentioned material.
  Charles Darwin: bitch I didn't even really write The Origin of Species. I actually wrote The 120 Days of Sodom, The Turner Diaries, Sonichu, and Velma.
  • When Joan Rivers is explaining to Superman on how much more powerful she was than him:
  Joan Rivers: (to Superman) I'm more powerful than you, Goku, Godzilla, Doctor Manhattan and Dora the Explorer combined.
• Badass Crew: Let's see. We have Bill & Ted, a pair of boys who can time travel (with the former dying and the latter become stronger from it), Donald Trump, the Big Good of the crew, Freddie Mercury, a musician who can change his size to become a giant at will, J. R. R. Tolkien, an author with mastery over several weapons and his "hardcore hairy-foot fetish midget ass porn", Batman, one of the best combatants known to the entire world, Julia Child, a Gadgeteer Genius, Mahatma Gandhi, a Badass Pacifist who can Throw Down the Bomblet, Oprah Winfrey, a rare-heroic spymaster with skills equal to that of Sam Fisher, Stan Lee, who has Wolverine's adamantium claws and healing factor, Al Capone, The Don with access to plenty of guns, and Hannibal Lecter, a cannibal and an excellent psychiatrist who proved himself as a true ally by reassuring Batman, who is known to be Properly Paranoid, that he's on their side, not Joan's.
• Berserk Button: Though he doesn't like being called "poo-poo with a face", insult the deaths of his people, and Gandhi will bust nukes (plural) up in your butt.
• Big Bad: Joan Rivers. She wants to devour everything on not just the Earth but the universe as well.
• Big Damn Heroes: Tory returns along with reinforcement to help the remaining crew once Joan goes into her One-Winged Angel form. Earlier, Ted was this for the group against Napoleon Bonermight with Napoleon almost winning against the group.
• Big "SHUT UP!": Freddie Mercury to Donald Trump and Oprah Winfrey to stop their bickering.
• Black-and-White Morality: Joan Rivers is an Omnicidal Maniac and must be destroyed at all costs along with all her followers, making anyone and everyone willing to stand against them a hero by default.
• Black Comedy: This series is rife with this trope. For starters, Wendy being the one who orchestrated 9/11.
• Black Dude Dies First: Gandhi, one of the Token Minority alongside Oprah Winfrey, is the first one killed by Joan Rivers after he attempted to detonated his entire arsenal all at once.
• Boom, Headshot!: Subverted. Alexander Hamilton attempts this trope on Joan with his gun from Supernatural but his bad aim means he misses his shot.
• Break Them by Talking: Joan does this to J. R. R. Tolkien and Moon Man.
• Butt-Monkey: Tory just can't get a break from the other heroes as they don't give him any respect despite him organizing the resistance to stop Joan.
• Cannibalism Superpower: Joan's powers are apparently derived from consuming celebrities in particular; after her very first kill, she already declares herself to be "more powerful than Goku, Superman and Steve Urkel put together".
• Canon Foreigner: A few characters never featured in ERB have minor speaking parts, most notably C.S. Lewis and Jimi Hendrix.
• Chekhov's Gun: During her introduction scene, Julia Child shares a "tip" for how to make a bomb out of a Pokémon ball, which seems like a throwaway joke until she much later uses this exact tactic against Ash Ketchum himself.
• Chekhov's Gunman: C. S. Lewis, or rather Super Mecha Death Lewis, who is mentioned several times by J.R.R. Tolkien before showing up after Caitlyn Jenner denies his presence.
• Cluster F-Bomb: Several, most notably from Ted: "Oh, for the love of actual, literal, genuine shit piss fuck cunt cocksucking motherfucking tits fart turd twat niggers Barbara Streisand!"
• Cold-Blooded Torture: Donald Trump says in rather graphic detail what he wants to happen to R. Kelly.
• Composite Character:
  • Mahatma Gandhi seems to take cues from both his real-life version and his Civilization version.
  • Batman, in this case from ERB's "Batman vs Sherlock Holmes", also takes cues from other Batman media such as The Dark Knight Trilogy and Batman: Arkham Origins.
  • Ted, after going through a Traumatic Superpower Awakening of losing Bill, gains the power of Neo from The Matrix and John Wick from John Wick (with footages from the films being used as well). Later on, he also tells Joan that he's somehow also John Constantine. Justified as Ted was portrayed by Keanu Reeves, who also portrayed those three characters.
  • Moon Man and Ronald McDonald are separate characters in the McDonald's canon. In this series, Moon Man is Ronald's alter-ego.
• Conflict Killer: Joan's campaign is enough to bring various characters who would otherwise be enemies, such as Donald Trump and Oprah and Batman and Hannibal Lecter, together on the same side.
• Cruel and Unusual Death:
  • Tony Hawk inflicts this on Batman by sticking his dick through his head and pumping inside. It was enough to put Batman to near death and in constant pain even after Ted interrupted him by shooting out his remaining good eye, forcing Ted to Mercy Kill Batman.
  • Walt Disney get kicked into a pit and then shredded into a bloody smear, much like how Syndrome went in The Incredibles.
  • Joan Rivers, once she got her monstrous body returned back to normal by Robin Williams and then subsequently got shot by Al Capone, she proceeds to rip her own body apart and tear out her own heart to eat it.
• Death as Comedy: Stan Lee is going to put Joan out to pasture like Tony Stark.

Stan Lee: Oh shit, Infinity War too soon? Well, I don't give a crap!

• Despair Event Horizon:
  • Batman goes through one as his sidekick Robin, faithful butler Alfred, and Morgan Freeman all got eaten by Joan, helpless to save them. Fortunately, Julia Child appears with a weapon specifically designed to repel the slime that Joan grants to her followers to help encourage Batman to keep up the fight.
  • Anyone who joined the Church of the Tupperware went through this, hoping to get the apocalypse over with.
• Discontinuity Nod: Nice Peter Vs. EpicLloyd 2, which the creator of these videos despises, is not used at all throughout the entire series.
• Dive Under the Explosion: To escape Joan Rivers, some people made like Sebastian and went deep beneath the seas living in a yellow submarine.
• Does Not Like Spam: Who knew Joan Rivers hated haggis?
• The Dragon: Tony Hawk. He's the dude who sold out humanity to Joan for "extreme sexual powers".
• Driven to Suicide:
  • The reason people are joining the Church of the Tupperware is to get the end of mankind over with with minimal suffering.
  • When Joan revealed to Ronald McDonalds once he reveals he was also Moon Man that ripping off Ray technically made him black, he realized with horror that he was the leader of the very group that targeted his kind and proceeds to hang himself.
• Dying Declaration of Hate: In response to Joan Rivers's request for his last words, George Carlin tells her: "Screw you, you man-eating cunt; you'll never be a god! Your sex jokes are as funny as Amy Schumer raping Adam Sandler with a strap-on in a concentration camp! You call yourself a dark lord? You couldn't even conquer a man who comes from a higher ground!"
• Eldritch Abomination: Joan Rivers becomes more and more powerful and horrific the more people she consumes.
• Eleventy Zillion: Trump proposes to "stab (Joan's) bleeding asscrack" into roughly this many pieces.
• Enemy Mine: How bad was Joan? Both the North and the South from The American Civil War put aside their differences to take her down.
• Even Evil Has Standards:
  • Al Capone, The Don who was associated with various murders, is implied to be a Father to His Men (and hookers). He willingly teams up with the heroes to get back on Joan for eating them. His charitable contributions during The Great Depression are also mentioned.
  • Hannibal Lecter, a cannibalistic and a Wicked Cultured Serial Killer, thinks that Joan Rivers went overboard on the former and willingly joins to stop her. This is particularly notable as he himself was cited by Joan as an inspiration for her initial attack on Cosby, which he does not take kindly to. He also wouldn't do something as offensive as Blackface; that was Barack Obama's actual flesh.
  • As a comical example, Napoleon Bonermight, a complete villain with no redeeming qualities, holds this sentiment against "the pig who made Animal Farm his bitch".
  • Thanos, the titan who sought the Infinity Gems to wipe out half of all life in the universe in order to please Death herself, shows his disapproval towards Joan Rivers's final motive of consuming the entire universe before attempting to use them to disintegrate Joan Rivers. Sadly for the universe, Joan already took them away from him.
• Evil All Along: Joan Rivers. She didn't eat Bill Cosby to punish him; she was an even worse rapist. In fact, she understood what she was starting because it was always her plan to devour the world ever since she was born.
• Evil Versus Oblivion: Al Capone can't run an intricate criminal syndicate if there's no more people left in the world. Walt Disney holds the same sentiment against Joan Rivers too.
• Eye Scream: Tony Hawk inflicts this on Bill by sticking his big dick into his eye shortly before killing him. Ted pays him back in kind by shooting out both his eyes separately.
• "Facing the Bullets" One-Liner: Super Mecha Death Lewis' last words. "OXFORD INKLINGS FOREVER, FUCKERS!"
• Freudian Excuse Denial: When Alexander Hamilton supposes Joan's evil is a result of her unexpectedly becoming drunk on dark power beyond human comprehension after the understandable initial killing of Bill Cosby, she states that such was always her plan and that she was an even worse rapist than him to begin with, playing on the Exact Words of her ERB-canonical statement that "The men that I slept with only wished they were unconscious".
• Fusion Dance: Napoleon Bonermight forms this way, visualized in the vein of Dragon Ball while verbally referencing Steven Universe.
• Gag Penis: Tony Hawk has one, and Napoleon Bonermight has five; both characters' monstrous genitals are furthermore on full display throughout almost the entirety of their screentimes.
• Godhood Seeker: This is what Joan wants to achieve by eating the world and gaining all those powers.
• Greater-Scope Paragon:
  • George Carlin: He's the one who sent both Bill & Ted to get help in stopping Joan, although he does not live to see the help arrive.
  • Elon Musk. He's the one who determined where Joan ended up (the North Pole in her Castle of Darkness). However, he could only broadcast his knowledge on the live Fox newscast before Joan ate him.
• Groin Attack: The series uses them throughout.
  • Joan's favorite method of inflicting pain is by biting off the dick. If Elon's reaction is anything, it's not pleasant. Joan even said that it was best for the men to be unconscious.
  • Tony Hawk does this twice to Ted.
  • In Chapter 7, Ted shoots at Napoleon Bonermight's groin to negate his attack.
  • In chapter 8:
    • J. R. R. Tolkien gets his manhood ripped out by Joan.
    • Bob Ross accidentally tears out his own groin, which causes Picasso to facepalm at him.
• Heroic Sacrifice:
  • Super Mecha Death Lewis taking the full force of Napoleon Bonermight's diamond-corroding acid sperm blast to save everyone else therefrom.
  • Subverted for chapter 8 regarding Gandhi, who tried to blow himself up to take down Joan but Joan disabled all his explosives before he could do so.
• Idiot Hero: Ted, who fails to discern Batman's obviously fatal wounds as such, miscalculates the value of 6+6, and falls for a ridiculous story about him being a piece of poop that came to life.
• Immune to Bullets: As Barack Obama found out, a bullet can't stump the Trump.
• In Spite of a Nail: Even though Fredrick Douglass aborted Thomas Jefferson, the guy who killed the Kennedys (no joke), Donald Trump reveals that the Kennedys were still shot.
  • Despite having been president and memorialized on Mount Rushmore in Jefferson's place, Alexander Hamilton's history seems to have played out otherwise similarly to real life, including his death in a duel with Aaron Burr.
• In Their Own Image: The image of Joan's buttcheeks.
• The Juggernaut: Napoleon Bonermight. The heroes' attacks do nothing to stop him, causing him to just shrug them off as he easily defeats them. It takes the arrival of Ted (who at this point has the powers of both Neo and John Wick) to put an end to him and even then, Ted only barely managed to defeat him by rapidly punching Napoleon's pressure-points.
• Jumping Off the Slippery Slope: Joan killing Bill Cosby would be borderline-justifiable, if only she'd stopped there. Instead, she eats him alive and then immediately declares her intention to become "the one dark lord to rule them all in the universe" through further acts of cannibalism, and things only get worse from there. Ultimately the idea that the extent of her atrocities was initially unplanned is subverted per Freudian Excuse Denial above.
• Mind Rape: Joan does this to Trump twice to make his head explode: First by showing him thirty thousand pictures of George Bush's dick at the same time, and then by showing him the entire "Offended" page of Encyclopedia Dramatica. It doesn't work. So, she just eats him.
• Monster Clown: Ronald "Jeremy" McDonald: A worse domestic abuser than Bill Cosby with more skeletons in his closet than Bluebeard. The fact that he's secretly Moon Man, Commander of the Fourth Reich and Grand Wizard of the Triple K Mafia, also helps.
• My Death Is Just the Beginning: Stan Lee tells Joan that when he dies, every character that he's ever written will avenge him, like the Notorious B.I.G. And yes: That is a motherfucking JoJo reference.
• My Friends... and Zoidberg: Stan Lee greets the heroes. And Trump.
• Neck Snap: How Ted deals with Tony. It doesn't kill him though, forcing Ted to shut Tony up and kill him properly.
• Neutral No Longer: Gandhi was fighting the caste system in India as a pacifist, but thanks to Joan Rivers, India is a hole in the face of the Earth and 1.3 billion of his people are dead. So now, he's actively resisting the end of the world because he hates Joan more than Martin Luther hated the Jews.
• Nonstandard Character Design: Or non-standard voicing in this case. All dialogue in the series is constructed from that of ERB and related videos by its creators, with the exceptions of Isaac Newton and Gandhi, both of whom use unrelated voice clips from the celebrities who portrayed them in ERB, "Weird Al" Yankovic and Keegan-Michael Key respectively.
• Not-So-Imaginary Friend: C.S. Lewis.
• N-Word Privileges: The cursed word appears several times, but never as an insult toward a black person, which is the creator's personal policy on considering its use acceptable. A bit from ERB where Donald Trump attempts to say the word in an explicitly racist fashion in a Curse Cut Short moment is edited to make him complete the sentence with "criminals" instead, which Barack Obama responds to by using the actual word toward Trump.
• Oh, Crap!: Plenty of them.
  • It starts with Fredrick Douglass realizing how much of a monster Thomas Jefferson was.
  • Chapter 1 has this reaction from both Richard Pryor and George Carlin from seeing how evil Joan was from eating Bill Cosby. Later on, both Bill and Ted were shocked to see their mentor George Carlin AKA Rufus get eaten by Joan.
  • Chapter 2 has Sir Isaac Newton give two of these. Once when he saw his friend Bill Nye get eaten, and another one when he realized Joan was no longer a human.
  • Chapter 3 has two:
    • Mark Zuckerberg upon realizing he was next to get eaten after Joan ate Elon Musk.
    • When Donald Trump realized that both Bill and Ted were right in saying that Joan was eating everyone.
  • Chapter 6 has Tony Hawk having this trope when he realized that Ted was going to kill him despite being more powerful than Ted.
  • Chapter 7:
    • Caitlyn Jenner when she realized C.S. Lewis was real under his form, Super Mecha Death Lewis.
    • Ash Ketchum upon realizing Julia Child managed to a do a switcheroo with his Charizard's pokéball with the booby-trapped version and decapitate its head.
    • Austin Powers when he first saw his mecha suit's defenses breached by its forcefield's weakness, laser beams and then when he realized Al Capone was going to kill him despite pleading for mercy.
    • Barack Obama when he realized Donald Trump managed to pull out a No, You attack on him, causing his gun to fire at his own head, killing him.
    • Donald Trump himself gets this when he realized Wendy could be more vicious than he could be on Twitter.
    • Wendy herself in turn has this reaction upon seeing that Mahatma Gandhi managed to overpower her.
    • George R. R. Martin when Julia Child gave him an Ass Shove with a frag grenade in his butt.
    • Freddie Mercury and J.R.R. Tolkien has this when they realize that Napoleon Bonermight was much more powerful than them. They just have an even bigger one when even Super Mecha Death Lewis's attacks did nothing to him.
    • Napoleon Bonermight gives a quick one upon realizing Ted unleashed a fast fatal attack on him Fist of the North Star-style.
• Omnicidal Maniac: Joan describes her ultimate goal as being to "devour everybody in the world, extinguishing mankind, then kill God to become the new supreme master of reality".
• Personal Dictionary: When Thomas Jefferson threatens to bury Frederick Douglass with diarrhea from his genocidal ass, the phrase "genocidal ass" is given two definitions:

1. A buttocks and/or anus belonging to a person who has committed acts of genocide.

("Take your genocidal ass off of my bridge")

2. A buttocks and/or anus that is specifically, physically utilized as an instrument with which acts of genocide are performed.

("I'll bury you with diarrhea from my genocidal ass")

• Prequel: ERB YTP: Thomas Jefferson Reveals the Truth, Inciting Frederick Douglass to Take Drastic Measures. Word of God has stated that because Doctor Who is in prison offscreen, he is unable to time-travel to stop Joan with said powers.
• Pre-Mortem One-Liner: There are many throughout the series:

Fredrick Douglass: (to Jane Randolph Jefferson, though it was directed at Thomas Jefferson as a fetus) This ain't rape baby. I mean I'm literally gonna fire a bullet right up your vagina.
Joan Rivers: (to Bill Cosby) I've already made up my mind, so beg all you want, but you'll still fucking get eaten; in fact, I'm about to rip your sweaty ballsack out through your slimy asshole with my teeth, put 'em in my mouth, and swallow at Christmas time like SNL!
Joan Rivers: (to George Carlin) Oh, shut up and just die already!
Joan Rivers: (to Sir Issac Newton. Played With in that she actually was going to eat Bill Nye, not Issac Newton) Well, not before I make your buddy over here the second Bill in my tummy; I doubt you're gonna enjoy watching the guy Bill Nye die, but that's just too bad!
Issac Newton: (to Joan Rivers) I got you now, you scum of the Earth; your head is right in my laser sights, and my automatic laser weapon target's locked to blow your brain to mush…!^note Subverted, as she actually survives the Boom, Headshot! laser attack. She then delivers one below.
Joan Rivers: (to Sir Issac Newton) Yes, it's true: at this point, I'm like something out of Resident Evil, but scarier; You're trying to battle with the new capital G O single D! I'm gonna enjoy devouring your heart, and you ought to know: this will not be over quickly.
Joan Rivers: (to Elon Musk) Nice try, dope-smoking frog-face, but at this point, running me over with your self-driving truck couldn't keep my infinite number of razor-sharp teeth from sinking into your flesh, so let me end you real slow and painful like I was Joan Rivers, because honestly, at this point, no one else in history compares to my sheer monstrous cruelty: you're going to wish you were unconscious when I bite your dick off piece by tiny little piece!
Tony Hawk: (to The heroic Badass Crew) That's right; it's time to have some fun, and by "fun", I mean "committing mass murder", so which of you fools is gonna catch 99 bullets to the brain right off the bat?... Believe me: this will hurt a lot less than getting melted, so call this mercy!^note Subverted Trope. Tony meant to kill the group after saying it but with the exception of Bill, who was still alive after being gunned down, the rest of the group survives unscathed due to Batman's riot shield.
Tony Hawk: (to Bill) It's time to die, kid. Let me say something first: what I'm about to do to your stupid little eye socket… I'm gonna enjoy it very, very much! Any last words?
Tony Hawk: (to The heroic Badass Crew) …That's one ugly dog put down, and now it's time to clean house. You think you're protected with that tiny shield? Let's see how good it is at keeping this away from your flesh: Ooh…^note Subverted, as Batman manages to use the repellent that Julia designed to divert the attack.
Tony Hawk: (to Batman) Hiya, Wayne!… And buh-bye, Wayne! You used to have guts, but now you're disemboweled, so it's time to finish this bitch like I finished all the others! … Time to die, Bruce… It's gonna really, really, really hurt. My cock will burrow in your ear, through your brains, and out the other ear!^note Downplayed Trope. He did intend to kill Batman after saying it but Ted doesn't let him have the chance. However, he did enough damage to put Batman to the verge of death.
Ted: (to Tony Hawk) It's over, Hawk; I've got your throat! Nine hundred degree neck-twist!^note Subverted, as Tony is revealed to still be alive after that Neck Snap.
Ted: (to Tony Hawk) Oooooh, actually, you know, I'm glad you're still alive, so I can fix that properly like this…!
Freddie Jupiter: (to Slaves of the Church of the Tupperware) Mama, I confess: I'm about to kill a whole lot of men with my oversized bare hands!
Tolkien: (to Slaves of the Church of the Tupperware) Take that! Keep lining up, you cocksuckers!
Tolkien: (to Slaves of the Church of the Tupperware) C. S. Lewis and I were just discussing how all of you pieces of shit shall not stop us from passing through your asses like diarrhea and to your horrible master in the top tower!
C.S. Lewis: (to Caitlyn Jenner) FUCKERS!
Hannibal: (to Slaves of the Church of the Tupperware) I'm the bon vivant of violence; a licensed psychiatrist who dines on highest society to the sound of violins, but these maniacs are the lowest society anyone's ever seen, so instead, I dine on their stupid assholes to the sound of CrazyBus!
Julia Child: (to Ash Ketchum) Indeed; you've done fucked with the wrong chef! Now eat shit and die, bitch!
Mahatma Gandhi: to (Wendy) Kentucky Fried Chicken sends their regards, BITCH!^note Subverted, as Wendy instantly turns up alive although charred from the radiation blast.
Mahatma Gandhi: to (Wendy) Query; where's the beef? Answer: Nowhere.
Julia Child: (To George R. R. Martin) When it comes to destroying you, there's one F-word: frag grenade up the butt!
C.S. Lewis: (to Napoleon Bonermight) How dare you say that kind of shit; everyone knows that God is a lion! For worshipping Joan, you must die, so eat plasma, fucker!^note Subverted, as Napoleon is revealed to be unscathed by the attack.
Ted: (to Napoleon Bonermight) You Are Already Dead.
Joan Rivers: (to Gandhi) Hahahahahaha, you getting ate up! You should've battled me on Ramadan, but actually, even on Ramadan, you'd still fucking get ate up, because I respect no religions except for my own, and now let me end you like Māui in Māori mythology; look it up!
Joan Rivers: (to Donald Trump) Oh, I'm inhuman, alright, but I ain't horny; I'm hungry: for you, Donald Trump! You're fired!
Joan Rivers: (to Markiplier)Oooh, what's that; a yummy wild Markiplier? Don't mind if I do!

• Present-Day Past: Wendy’s Twitter post is posted on 9/11 where she announced she was behind the plane attacks on the World Trade Center towers. However, Twitter was invented in 2006.
• Punch-Clock Hero: Stan Lee's here to save the world for about the hundred millionth time.
• Race Against the Clock: The heroes don't have much time to stop Joan from eating everyone.
• Remember the New Guy?: Subverted. Since Thomas Jefferson was erased from existence, the face that replaced him on Mount Rushmore was Alexander Hamilton.
• Religion of Evil: The Church of the Tupperware.
• Ret-Gone: The Doctor helps Fredrick Douglass go back in time to prevent Thomas Jefferson from being born.
• Sacrificial Lamb: Bill S. Preston, who is largely Out of Focus throughout most of the setup and dies early in the first major battle against Tony Hawk.
• Sacrificial Lion: Batman, who dies at the end of said sequence after managing to put up a considerable fight and inspiring Ted to continue fighting on with his last words.
• Series Continuity Error: In Chapter 7, one of the many minions of Joan Rivers who got gunned down was Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and yet in Chapter 8, he shows up as one of the reinforcements to defeat Joan Rivers. Moleman would acknowledge this error here and rewrote "Mozart"'s previous appearance as an Identical Stranger named "Blozart".
• Suicide Dare: Joan tells Ronald McDonald/‘Moon Man’ to kill himself when he admits to being a Neo-Nazi.
• This Cannot Be!: Joan's reaction to the appearance of Robin Williams.
• To Create a Playground for Evil: Joan wants to make a new rewritten universe where people only exist to be livestock devoured like they were scraps off her plate by the time they're age five.
• Token Evil Teammate:
  • Al Capone and Hannibal Lecter for the main team.
  • Ronald McDonald for the B-team; see Monster Clown above.
  • George Washington for the Rushmore gang, who as a result of Thomas Jefferson's erasure is the only slave owner among the four.
• The Triple:
  • Eating Bill Cosby made Joan Rivers feel more powerful than Goku, Superman and Steve Urkel put together.
  • Elon Musk wants a strike force composed of the world's greatest champions such as Tony Stark, James Bond, and David the Gnome.
• Unexplained Recovery: ERB's actual battles take place in a narrative vacuum, but can reasonably be interpreted as facilitated through some form of afterlife and/or time-travel. Warping them all together into a feature-length narrative with apocalyptic stakes and evidently set in the present day, however, renders the presence of long-dead individuals as this trope, with several people's actual deaths even specifically referenced as past events. Robin Williams lampshades this near the end when Joan (who herself died around the same time in reality) calls it out in regards to him.
• Vagina Dentata: Something that a real woman can do. Actually, only Joan can do it, but it's not her fault that the other women failed at growing teeth.
• Verbal Tic: Joan often says "At this point", and Tolkien says "C.S. Lewis and I were just discussing".
• Villain Respect: Al Capone respects Walt Disney for how he runs his empire, saying that Walt ran his better than he himself ever could.
• We Hardly Knew Ye:
  • Elon's rap opponent, Mark Zuckerberg, shows up after Elon got eaten. He screams out how he knows he's screwed and the screen cuts soon after that. It's implied that Joan also ate him.
  • Markiplier shows up right after Donald Trump gets eaten by Joan Rivers, makes a one-liner and is then eaten by her.
• Wendigo: Joan Rivers is essentially an extreme version of this with her increasingly inhuman cannibalism-perpetuated evolution. At one point, she's even depicted with the body of an advanced, three-headed form from Fallout 76.
• You Are Already Dead: Napoleon Bonermight's death is a direct recreation of the trope namer, complete with the line itself.
• You Monster!: This is what Fredrick thinks of Thomas Jefferson upon hearing about his actions.

Fredrick Douglass: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I HAD IT WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKING EVIL RACIST MOTHERFUCKER!

• Your Head A-Splode: This happens to Austin Powers, Wendy, and Napoleon Bonermight (with the former two via a Boom, Headshot!).
• Your Mom: Trump, at a loss for a plan, jokes about feeding "your mother" to Joan in hopes that she'd "never finish", which Ted objects to despite admitting Bill's mom to be an "ugly hag", only for Trump to specify that he wasn't talking about Bill's mom.
• You're Insane!: Bill Nye wants to know who would ever worship someone as insane as Joan Rivers.

---