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is a story on WattPad, written by
. It is a mixture of the vampire and science fiction genres.
There's a new teacher at Dani Tamari's school - Professor David Cross. What no one knows is that David is really an alien vampire, who's hiding on Earth after killing his father. Meanwhile, a whole load of alien vampires, led by Lady Terror De Mon, are recruiting humans to their cause and murdering Earth's leaders.
Well, that's basically it. Except it... isn't.
Vampiru contains examples of: Above Good and Evil: Phantom sees itself as this. Abusive Parents: David's father. Action Girl / Badass Damsel: Dani. When Ruthven tries to rape her, she picks up a copy of and hits him over the head with it. Repeatedly. Little Dorrit And again, when she's attacked by a werewolf. Adorkable: Dracula, of all people, in Chapter 22. He really has no clue how to handle children... Aerith and Bob: Terror, Nightmare, Grievous, Attykcca, Vlad, Carmilla, Ruthven, Orlok, Abihira, Legina, Angerona, Anahita, Aphrodite, Artemis, Venus, Moon, Phantom, Gadget and... Dani, Edward, David, Lacey, Jackson, Janice, Niall, Celeste, Gareth, Steven, Jack, Biff, Richard and Autumn. Alliterative Name: The entire Avalon clan, with the exception of Venus and Siri. Aloof Dark-Haired Girl: Abihira. Ambiguously Evil: David. Murdering your father, running from the police, killing a random drunk, manipulating a twelve-year-old girl... Enough said. A Nazi by Any Other Name: The way Nightmare tortured a werewolf bears a strong resemblance to some of the methods used by the Gestapo. Animalistic Abomination: The werewolf. Asian and Nerdy: Autumn, the only explicitly Asian character, is a nurse. Gadget, the computer expert, hasn't been described but is probably Northern Irish like most of the characters. Asshole Victim: David's father. Attempted Rape: Ruthven tries this on Dani in chapter 25. Author Appeal: Considering how many works by Charles Dickens are mentioned, the author is apparently a fan of him. Also, her profile lists , Watership Down and Dracula among her favourite books/series. Dani also likes those. Lost in Space Author Avatar: Dani? Big Bad: Terror. Nightmare seems to have taken this role. Bilingual Bonus: Celeste's line in chapter 9: Mangez merde, vous chienne. It means " Eat s***, you bitch". In chapter 35, after Nightmare kills a man, the crowd start yelling "Killer", "Madwoman", and "Someone call the police!" in Romanian. Blackmail: Terror is doing this to some government official on another planet. Blatant Lies: Almost everything David tells Dani. Blondes Are Evil: Nightmare. Bloody Tears: These vampires cry blood instead of water. Breaking And Bloodsucking: In an interesting variant, David was taking Dani back to her house when he drank her blood. Brother-Sister Incest: Between David's parents. Bus Crash: Dani's parents. Calling the Old Man Out: David does this post-humously to his father in chapter 16. Cannot Cross Running Water: Implied by this line:
Narrator: ... [N]ot far away, running water could be heard. That was a most unwelcome sound. [David] didn't know if water on Earth was poisonous, but fear of the deadly water on their own planet was too deeply ingrained in every Vampiruan for them to see it as anything but an enemy. Carmilla: A vampire (possibly) called Carmilla is mentioned in chapter 8.
Narrator: [Grievous] had insisted on bringing Nightmare (which was allowed), and Nightmare had insisted on bringing Carmilla (which was not). As of chapter 11, Carmilla Karnstein is a character who works for Terror. Contrived Coincidence:
As it turned out, the shop they chose (it was the only major shop in the place) was one where Terror had made an arrangement with the shopkeeper to supply them with food. Vlad couldn't help thinking that that was perhaps a bit too coincidental. But then, it wasn't much more coincidental that the woman he fell in love with
just happened to be engaged to his friend
, so he couldn't say anything.
Chapter 35, When In Rome... Literally!, takes this to extremes. Dani, David, Nightmare, Grievous, and Abihira all end up in Rome. Costume Porn: Nightmare's outfit in chapter 37 is described in considerable detail. Crash into Hello: Dani first meets David when she crashes into him. Crows And Ravens: David takes the shape of a raven in chapter 29, freaking out the InGEN team. Dangerously Genre Savvy: Terror, apparently. Dark-Skinned Blonde: Nightmare, from a vampire's point of view. Daywalking Vampire: David. Deadpan Snarker:
David: If you're quite finished daydreaming, Miss Tamari, it may interest you to know that school is offically finished for the day. Dani can be quite snarky, too, especially when dealing with her subconsciousness. Anahita, too. "What an idiot you are", indeed. Dracula. Abihira. Death Glare: Quite a few characters are described as giving other characters glares of this sort. Did Not Get the Girl: In the references to Dracula's past, he was in love with an unnamed woman (although it's easy to deduce from the text that it's Mina). Obviously, he didn't get her. Disposable Sex Worker: Mentioned:
David's thoughts: The only humans likely to be up at this time were drunks or whores. Neither would be missed, and killing one would be doing humanity a favour. There were only two problems: humans tended to notice the deaths of even the lowest of the low, and he had no wish to drink blood poisoned with alcohol or disease. Dissonant Serenity: Nightmare wonders why Dracula was so upset... after she had just tortured and murdered a werewolf. While . licking blood off her hands Distressed Damsel: Dani and Celeste. Dracula: A character named Vlad Dracula works for Terror. Whether he's the original one or the original one's son (implied) is currently unknown. Chapter 14 says there were two Draculas. Easily Forgiven: David, to some degree. Yes, he killed his father, but Jackson and Lacey (and, apparently, the author) think he was quite justified in his actions. He is forced to stay on Earth to help clear up the mess he's partly responsible for, though. Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: David is described as having white skin and dark brown hair. And he is definitely eerie. Abihira. Pale-skinned: check. Dark hair: check. Eerie: check. Embarrassing Middle Name: Steven Sherlock Brown. These seem to be required by the Avalon clan, as demonstrated by Venus's full name: Venus Lorelei Het-Heru Reva Eileithyia Tara Psyche Avalon. What was her mother thinking? Evil Counterpart: Abihira for David. Exactly What It Says on the Tin / In Which a Trope Is Described: Flash Step: David crosses a room thirty metres wide in five seconds. Foreshadowing: In chapter 4, Dani stays up late watching , and has nightmares about it that turn into images of herself and David. Dracula While Dani is being held prisoner in Castle Dracula, she hears someone mentioning locations in Rome. Guess where the latest chapters are taking place? Freudian Excuse: David was abused by his father. This probably doesn't excuse everything he does. Freudian Threat: Abihira gives Dracula one in chapter 14.
Abihira: Lay a finger on me without my express permission, and I'll cut it off. Along with other parts. Funetik Aksent: O'Hara and Orlok. Fun with Acronyms: Inter- Galactic Emergency Network. Fur Against Fang: Vampires seem to hate werewolves. Getting Crap Past the Radar: Half-Human Hybrid: Celeste is half-human, half-werewolf, and turns into a werewolf. Hot for Teacher: Gareth says that most of the girls have crushes on David. Whether or not this lasts after they have to sit through one of his classes isn't mentioned. Word of God says Dani and David will not have a romantic relationship. Thankfully. Identical Grandson: According to Terror, Abihira greatly resembles her mother. Identical Stranger: Dani looks slightly like Mina. Jerkass: Why, hello, David! And he pales in comparison to certain other characters - Dracula, for instance, is annoyed when Nightmare killed a werewolf... because she made a mess of the floor. Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Dracula. Sort of. His interactions with Dani in Chapter 22 are somewhere between this trope and Adorkable. Lack of Empathy: David. Lemony Narrator: Phantom has quite a dry sense of humour. He/she/it even stops narrating in chapter 24 to snark at the reader! Lesbian Werewolf: Celeste. Literal Cliffhanger: A variant at the end of chapter 36. Loads and Loads of Characters: Not a cast of thousands, or even a hundred, but there are a lot of major characters and named background characters. Looks Like Orlok: Orlok, obviously. Loophole Abuse: Used by Dani to justify going outside during dinner time. Madden Into Misanthropy: Dani is heading this way after her parents' deaths. Manipulative Bastard: David. Massive Numbered Siblings: Common among vampire families, apparently. Meaningful Name: Terror De Mon, and her children Nightmare and Grievous (her other child, Attykcca, is an Odd Name Out). Gadget is the InGEN team's computer expert. Men Don't Cry: Averted with Dracula in chapter 14, when he cries for Mina. He's embarrassed about it later. Mood Whiplash: Chapter 14 goes from Celeste reflecting that she's going to be , to Dracula and Abihira snarking at each other. burned alive Mythology Gag: Anyone who's read will under stand who "Baron Vordenburg" is. Carmilla There are also references to ; for instance, Drac complaining that the woman he fell in love with Dracula to be engaged to his friend. just happened Name's the Same: This InGEN ( Inter-Galactic Emergency Network) has nothing to do with the one from . Jurassic Park Names to Run Away From Really Fast / Awesome Mc Cool Name: Lady Terror De Mon, Nightmare De Mon, Grievous De Mon, Abihira Rah, David Cross. Narrative Profanity Filter: In chapter 22, one character tells another to light a "freaking" candle. As the narrator comments afterward, "freaking" was not the word used. The Narrator: Phantom. Narrator All Along: Phantom. No Name Given / Only Known by Their Nickname: We don't know what David's real name is yet. Maybe it's Lucius. That's what his subconsciousness called him. Chapter 16 reveals that it is Lucius. Gadget is always called Gadget. Noodle Incident:
Boone: Sir, we've picked something up on the monitor.
Jackson: What is it this time? Another passenger plane that happens to have gone off schedule somehow? Another secret government test? Not So Different: Abihira says she and David are this. And she might be right. Not What It Looks Like: Terror walks in on Abihira and Dracula in bed. It isn't what it looks like, honest! No Periods, Period: Averted. Dani goes on her period and as a result awakens David's hunger and indirectly causes the death of a drunk. Oireland: Northern Ireland, but the sterotypes are averted. The characters do not speak with silly Funetik Aksents and do not behave in a stereotypically "Irish" way. This might have something to do with the fact that the author lives in Northern Ireland. One Steve Limit: Averted. Steven Brown and Stephen West have the same name (though spelled differently). There are two Richards: Dani's brother, and Richard Boone. Only Known by Their Nickname: Gadget's real name has never been revealed. Only Sane Woman: Lacey. Open Secret: One has to wonder if Dani is the only character who doesn't know what David is. Orlok: Appears in chapter 14. Our Vampires Are Different: These vampires: Our Werewolves Are Different: We don't know enough about Celeste and her mother to know what rules these ones follow, but considering it's science fiction... Our Zombies Are Different: Nightmare's army. Made from aborted babies. Overly-Long Name: See above. Pun-Based Title: Chapter 34, "When In Rome... Literally!", in which the main characters and three villains end up in Rome. Chapter 36, "In Which The Catacombs Are A Nightmare", which is a pun on Nightmare being (sort of) in the Catacombs of Rome. Chapter 37, "Seeing Red". Nightmare's clothes are red, and her explanation of her plans makes David, Dani, and possibly Abihira see red. Punny Name: Possibly unintentional, but David's alias is David Cross. Traditional vampires are afraid of crosses. Celeste's mother is called Moon. Put on a Bus: Most of the characters in Northern Ireland now that the main storyline's moved to Romania. Ruthven: A character named Ruthven is mentioned several times. Considering Carmilla and Dracula are characters, there's a good chance it's that one. As of chapter 14, he's a character who works for Terror.
Narrator: This whole thing had the look of one of Ruthven's "cause Dracula unnecessary discomfort" plans. Same-Sex Triplets: The Messina triplets. Schedule Slip: Good grief, where to begin. It started in August 2012 and has been updated very irregularly since then. Schoolgirl Lesbians: Celeste and her never-seen girlfriend, Aingeal. Self-Made Orphan: No mention is made of David's mother, but he killed his father. And doesn't regret it. Shipper on Deck: Gareth's teasing in chapter 3 implies that he ships Dani/David. Which, if you think about it, is really weird... Ship Tease: Abihira/Dracula. Drac's interested in her, even if she insists she doesn't like him. Carmilla refers to their arguments as "lover's quarrels". And a shopkeeper says they make a cute couple. And then there was that little matter of sharing a bed... And then there's Dani/David, which is hinted at several times but especially in chapter 35. Hopefully Ship Sinking still applies and the author's just messing with the reader's head... Shout-Out: Single-Target Sexuality: Abihira "There-is-only-one-man-I-want" Rah. Spot of Tea: Lacey. Strong Family Resemblance: Between Abihira and her mother. Take That: Talking to the Dead: David to his father. Tall, Dark and Snarky: David. The Voice: Dani frequently argues with her subconsciousness. David does at times, too. It hasn't yet been explained if a character's subconsciousness is another character entirely... or someone else speaking into their mind. Chapter 20 implies that either Dani has an over-active imagination, or her subconsciousness is another character, who likes being called Phantom. And the ending of chapter 21 implies that not only is Phantom another character, but a villainous character. Those Two Villains: Carmilla and Ruthven. Possibly. íThree Amigos!: Dani, Steven, Gareth. This Is Reality: Used at least once when Dani is a prisoner in Castle Dracula. Titled After the Song / Refrain from Assuming: Chapter 38, ""Crazy" Is, I Believe, The Medical Term", gets its title from a line in an Icon For Hire song, "Iodine". Title Drop: "Vampiru" is the name of the planet David is from, so obviously. Token Minority: Most of the characters are Northern Irish or aliens, so Akiko "Autumn" Tsukiyama stands out a bit because (going by her name) she's Japanese. Too Dumb to Live: Dani. She tells Edward about InGEN, after promising not to tell anyone. And then Edward apparently told Terror. Trash of the Titans: Edward's room, which "could charitably be called a mess". Trickster Triplets: The Messina triplets, apparently. Undeathly Pallor: Common among vampires, apparently. Vampire Vords: Orlok. Villain Episode: Chapters 11 and 14. Villains Out Shopping: Literally out shopping, in the aptly-titled " Shopping Trip", chapter 14. Vampires From Outer Space World of Snark