Wall Bangers: Star Wars

  • The Phantom Menace:
    • Word of God states that the Jedi saw through Amidala and her double's Paper Thin Disguises, but it didn't come across in the film. The "We knew it all along" looks the Jedi were supposed to have at The Reveal looked more like shock, making it look as though they were fooled. This was either caused by faulty direction, faulty acting, or both.
      • Liam Neeson pulled off a rather smug look at that moment. Ewan McGregor looked more like someone mixed up his order at Burger King.
    • Padme as a fourteen-year-old queen (democratically elected) with real executive authority. While it is conceivable that someone could have been elected to the office, and there have been cases of monarchs being elected (usually by other nobles), the idea that the human population of a planet would elect someone at the age of fourteen to act as their leader is more ludicrous than Jar Jar Binks.
      • Padme isn't the only government member. She's basically the five year old child from rule 12 on the Evil Overlord List. Her mistakes and impracticalities would be tempered by advisors and ministers (equally elected, so we may hope). Word Of God says it's tradition for the royalty to be young teenagers, so the government has adapted to fit an impractical ideal head of state.
      • That does however bring up the wallbanger of the truly terrible Dawson Casting that really damages your Willing Suspension of Disbelief. In the Episode 1 Anakin is less than ten years old and looks it; meaning that by the time of the Episode 2 ten years later he looks appropriately late teens/early twenties. Padme on the other hand is meant to be fourteen despite the fact that she looks and acts like a fully developed and mature twenty year old. What the hell? The only way this could possibly work is if she entered the most rapid form of puberty ever witnessed in third grade and then somehow managed to completely stall her ageing in between Episode 1 and 2 so that she looks absolutely no different at twenty eight than she did as fourteen year old girl. Was it really that difficult to cast an actual child actress?
    • At the end of the film, Obi-Wan promises to train Anakin, a proposal the Jedi Council reluctantly accepts. Obi-Wan just finished his apprenticeship, so why don't they arrange for a more experienced teacher? Especially considering that Anakin is most powerful in the force and might be the prophesied saviour of the Jedis and destroyer of the Sith. No wonder all hell breaks loose two movies later.
      • Tradition, and Qui-Gon's dying wish. The council is clearly "watching his career with great interest".
  • Attack of the Clones:
    • Anakin suddenly recalls that for the past ten to fifteen years, his mother has been a slave in the very asshole of the galaxy, and decides that he should probably maybe kind of do something about it. Even if Anakin (as per the Jedi teachings) was discouraged or forbidden from going to see his mother, there was nothing stopping him from sending someone (another Jedi, Padme, etc.) to check in on her from time to time. Or just, you know, buy her out, settle her on Naboo and let her live her life in safety.
    • "I killed them all. And not just the men, but the women, and the children." How come slaughtering an entire Tusken Raider village in a blind rage doesn't grant Anakin a one-way ticket to the Dark Side on the spot?
      • Because the Force, in the films, doesn't work on a Karma Meter. Also, plotplotplotplotplot.
      • Maybe he got a little bit of leeway because of the Always Chaotic Evil nature of the Tuskens?
      • It's strongly implied this is where he first stepped over the line.
      • Could be because there's still at least two people he loves that he would never harm. Slaughtering the tribe that abducted your mother is pretty awful, but understandable- hard to call it out-and-out evil. It's just, you know, ordinary levels of Dark Side. Everybody has that.
      • The above might be easier to swallow had he just said he slaughtered their whole tribe, but he specifically points out the women and children which all out says "I knew there were innocents in that tribe and I killed them anyway" which is pretty evil even if you call it a crime of passion. And saying there's at least two people he would never harm is meaningless (and untrue regardless).
    • Padme had demonstrated, during Episode I, that she is skilled enough to use a blaster properly and hold her own on a shootout. Fine. Later in Episode II, she gets captured by Dooku alongside Obi-Wan and Anakin; all three of them are chained to stone columns and left to be mauled/eaten by some space critters. Fine. Then, out of nowhere, she is perfectly able to: release herself from her chains (something that our Jedi friends didn't, despite all the whole Force-thing). Climb on top of the column. Get her back slashed by a Nexu (imagine a tiger with More Teeth than the Osmond Family) with no significant results. Do a Tarzan-like swing and knock down said Nexu. Jump on the back of a Reek (think a dinosaur/rhino-like thing) from the top of said column with her legs spread. Survive the huge following battle with nothing more than a blaster and some cover from Anakin while trading idiotic quips with him. And, finally, survive a several-meters high fall from a moving ship, again with no visible effects. Basically, they turned a perfectly reasonable Action Girl into one of the most blatant and egregious cases of Plot Armor.
    • This exchange between Anakin and Padme, said during a battle against an overwhelming enemy and with dozens of dead and dying Jedi around them:
    "You call this a diplomatic solution?"
    "No, I call it aggressive negotiations."
    • As pointed out by Mr. Plinkett and Confused Matthew, Padme's rationale for marrying Anakin is wholly unsatisfactory and illogical, given his behavior throughout the film. Even if the audience is to accept that Padme is young and naive, she has witnessed Anakin (in order) making unnecessarily creepy comments towards her, giving her odd and disconcerting looks, rudely interrupting her during important diplomatic negotiations, begging for her to love him, and admitting to slaughtering an entire village of Sand People (including the women and children). Yet, despite all this, she shows no hesitation towards marrying him, even though the evidence against Anakin being a suitable husband is far more than the evidence supporting it.
      • Hell, in the novel she turns off the surveillance system in her apartment, even though she knows she's marked for assassination, just so that this gallant knight doesn't peek in on her while she's asleep.
      • Padmé's rationale for marrying Anakin makes more sense when you look at her character and her tendency to martyr herself to her causes. The Senate can't help her planet? Then she'll go there and fight the Trade Federation herself or die trying. The Queen asks her to serve as Senator but she doesn't really want to? She'll do it anyway because her people need her. Obi-Wan is in trouble in the middle of a hostile planet? Padmé will gladly go after him. The Trade Federation has tried to personally kill her in the past? She's all for re-opening diplomatic channels with them. She's a woman who has defined her life by duty and putting others before herself (at least until she meets Anakin). And Anakin's focus on her (while obsessive) is entirely refreshing for a young woman who has basically defined herself through her job. He cares about her, not her position as a Queen or Senator, but as Padmé-the kind girl who helped him and took care of him. Anakin's comments and looks unsettle her precisely because she's not used to having that type of attention directed at her (nor so intensely). I think the most important thing to remember, though, is that when she tells Anakin to stop (that they can't be together), he does. After the fireplace scene, when she tells him they can't be together (that she won't let him give up his future for her), he backs off and treats her with a professional distance. He calls her Senator and it is she that initiates every romantic action thereafter. The slaughter of the Tuskens, while terrible, is something she likely believes was due wholly to the horrific circumstances surrounding the death of Anakin's mother. Not to mention that Anakin has saved her people and her life; she wants to believe (and has seen evidence) that he is a good person, willing to sacrifice for others. What the Tusken slaughter does do, though, is demonstrate to her that Anakin needs her as a stabilizing influence in his life. He's lost his mother, gone through some trauma, committed crimes, but remains devoted to the Republic and is off to fight in the war. It's not at all inconceivable that she would justify being with him as being good both for him and the Republic. And she's already fallen in love with him by the time the slaughter happens, so it would give her an excuse to be with him, to finally have something for herself while not being "selfish" in doing so. Let's not forget, either, that both are young, with Padme apparently not having had any romantic relationships due to her political career, while Anakin was forbidden them-both are no doubt somewhat naive and likely impetuous. Hell, it's hard to see how much time they even get to spend together after this, given that the Clone Wars break out as well.
    • Speaking of which, the whole "Padme assassination attempt" episode is one humongous Wall Banger from start to finish. The assassin's choice of weapon was a few slow moving insects instead of using the explosivesnote  with a drone to make a quick moving bomb. Once the insects were released the droid simply hovered nearby instead of immediately leaving. When the droid did leave it went straight back to the person who sent it instead of heading off for some place to self destruct and destroy the evidence. Lastly, apparently all the security a political heavyweight who was marked for assassination (and had recently survived another attempt on her life) deserved was an easily cut window and a security camera.
      • And, of course, when Padme is supposed to be in hiding in Naboo she frolics with Anakin in the wide open field where even an average sniper could easily take her out. And why in the world did the Jedi Council think that no one would look for Padme on her home world, let alone her old palace. Gah!
      • Jango would've never thought she could be that stupid. And hey, it worked!
      • They also did go in undercover as refugees.
    • Senator Palpatine claims the Republic has stood for a thousand years. Obi-Wan claims it has stood for a thousand generations. Considering a generation is thirty years, either Palpatine or Obi Wan is twenty nine thousand years out.
      • It's possible that Palpatine was referring to the current Republic (compare to how the French say "The Second Republic" or the "Third." They're on number 5 now), while Kenobi was referring to the Republic as an institution stretching back to the original that has existed in one form or another for those 30,000 years.
      • I suggest you pick up some EU material. This is more or less canon.
      • Google the Ruusan Reformation.
  • Revenge of the Sith:
    • Okay, Anakin...Palpatine out of the blue starts lecturing you on how the Sith and the Jedi are alike. And then he starts talking about a Sith legend. You don't bother to ask him, "Chancelor, how do you know about this story?" Honestly, it takes Palpatine spelling out that he's got "the power of the Dark Side" for you to get that he's a Sith?!?
      • And once you do get that he's a Sith...you don't consider that MAYBE, just maybe...when Palpatine claims the Sith can prevent death—that HE'S LYING?!?
      • And when he runs to the chancellor's office...he takes NO NOTICE of the dead Jedi around him, and ASSUMES that Mace is wrong in saying Palpatine is too dangerous to be left alive...?
    • Yoda grabbing the Idiot Ball with both hands and jumping off a cliff by effectively telling Anakin not to mourn or even miss his loved ones when they pass away. Seriously, the guy has known Anakin for over ten years. He knows that Anakin has a short temper and a rebellious streak that has gotten him into trouble more than once. He knows that Anakin is apparently very powerful. Was it too much effort to say, "Careful around this you must be, young Skywalker; a self-fulfilling prophecy it may become!" Or did Yoda just feel like being a dick for the sake of the plot? Why this is a problem: Yoda's advice is Comically Missing the Point. Anakin comes to him to talk about some visions filled with pain and suffering he had been having lately, not to cry on his shoulder about the death of somebody. If anything, Yoda should have lectured him about the nature of premonitions and how they do not always come true, since "difficult to see, always in motion the future is".
      • Or better yet, just tell the guy: "Death, a part of life it is. Powerful enough to stop it, no one is, not even the Jedi. Know that the dead are at peace with the Force."
      • It's already part of the Jedi Code that "There is no death, there is the Force." Just cite that.
      • Yoda's not 100% at fault here. While he could've been a bit more sensitive, he had no idea who Anakin was talking about. For all he knew, Anakin was talking about Obi-Wan and was just relying on that for his advice. You'd think Anakin would just grow a pair and confess it all to Yoda right then and there, ridding him of his troubles. That was a golden opportunity that he missed completely!
    • "Only the Sith deal in absolutes!" Only the Sith?
      • To make this worse, this statement is said by Obi-Wan. Saying that only Sith Lords speak in absolutes is an absolute itself. Therefore, by his own logic, Obi-Wan is a Sith Lord.
      • While this seems mind-numbingly stupid on the surface, it's actually a bit of Fridge Brilliance to show that the Jedi are so super light that they're on the exact same level as the Sith, only on opposite ends of the spectrum: pure light vs. pure darkness, as opposed to something more balanced.
      • Debatable, unless the Jedi are clearly shown to be just as in the wrong then it's hard to distinguish between unintentional writer's stupidity, and intentional Jedi stupidity. Since no one in the movie points out what he said is an absolute it leans a bit more toward the former as something they just didn't notice in the script.
    • Padme's death. "She's lost the will to live." Apparently, she didn't give a rat's ass about her newborn children. EU material retconned this by saying she died from injuries not discovered when Anakin force choked her (which is only slightly better than the film's explanation), but it still brings the competence of the medical droids into question if she's dying of internal injuries and they conclude that she doesn't care enough to live. The look of pride and joy on her face doesn't help. Likewise, her final words were hardly those of someone who's lost all hope. "There is good in him… I know. I know there is… still…" Yep, totally lost the will to live.
      • It could be argued that, given the circumstances, Padme had to give birth in a place where decent medical droids were unavailable. However, the explanation given in the EU raises further problems. Firstly, why the hell did no one think to question that the droids didn't know why she was dying? You'd have thought Obi-Wan would've at least asked what that was meant to mean, or maybe suggested they try and find a proper reason. Secondly, how come Padme was able to speak clearly enough to name her children if she had tracheal injuries severe enough to kill her?
      • "She's lost the will to live? What's your degree in, Poetry?"
      • It's possible that Padmé may have "willed" herself to die, losing the will to live intentionally in order to protect her children. Fact of the matter is, Anakin had gone completely off the deep end. Padmé knows this=she knows how obsessive he is about her and that he would stop at nothing to find her. What are her choices now? She can't go back to Coruscant, can't go to Naboo, and anyone she hides with would be in danger of discovery. She would have to stay hidden or on the run for the rest of her life (hardly a great environment to raise children in, if she could even keep them). Lucas states in the AOTC deleted scenes commentary that one of the major themes for Padmé's character is that "those who can't adapt die"-Padmé can't adapt. Her role as Senator is essentially over. Her ability to take care of her children and give them a stable home has been destroyed. For example, what would she do if Anakin threatened to attack or kill innocent people unless she showed herself? By dying, though, Padmé could make everyone believe that her children had died with her-giving them the ultimate protection and the ability to live safely in these shadow from the Empire. So she does so. She says it herself in AOTC-she's not afraid to die.
      • The "cheap knockoff medical droid not knowing what it was talking about" theory is confirmed in the EU.
    • Mace Windu bringing such horrendously incompetent wing men to arrest the Chancellor. Just seeing Jedi Masters fall prey to The Worf Effect, it... Ugh.
      • Worse: Just before, Anakin gives a relatively convincing argument for why he should be around to help Mace and Co. arrest Sidious. Mace's response? "No, Anakin, you stay behind—and if he's a Sith, then I'll trust you." And so, Anakin sulks....
    • Speaking of Palpatine and lightsabers, when did he earn his disdain for lightsabers and start calling them "Jedi weapons"? Apparently the Sith use them, and he used them.
      • They tried to answer this in one of the books: "The Sith grew past the use of lightsabers. But we continue to use them, if only to humiliate the Jedi". Basically rubbing the Jedi's inferiority in their faces.

  • Original Trilogy:
    • Obi-Wan has two decades to consider what he will say to Luke about his father. Does he come up with something true but vague, like "Darth Vader was the downfall of Anakin Skywalker" that will point Luke in the desired direction? No, he says "Darth Vader betrayed and murdered your father", which Luke (very reasonably) considers to be a lie, when the truth comes out. (Of course, this is the result of George Lucas's retcon, but this is why the retcon is really problematic.)
    • Why are Luke and Leia twins? In the films, the familial relationship didn't... do much other than create Squick in Empire and settle a Love Triangle peacefully.
      • Like Darth Vader turning out to be Luke's father, Lucas only decided this between films.
    • In The Empire Strikes Back, Yoda says "Always in motion is the future", the general idea being that Jedi can see possible futures, but these visions are only really reliable within a fairly short period of time... so WHY are the Jedi betting everything on some vague prophecy that might refer to Anakin?
      • This is actually a case of Fridge Brilliance. The prophecy definitely refers to Anakin, as he's the only being purely conceived by the Force. He is, without a doubt, the Chosen One. The question, however, remained: would the Chosen One fulfill the rest of the prophecy, that is, bring balance to the Force? Since the future is always in motion, the Jedi could not be certain that Anakin would fulfill the prophecy. Along with respecting Qui-Gon Jinn's final wishes, this is the main reason the Jedi decided to ignore their reservations and to train Anakin in the ways of the Force, believing that the prophecy would more likely be fulfilled if he was trained in the ways of the Jedi, with tragic results.
      • As has been pointed out here before, this is a case where the Jedi should have been aware of Exact Words and Jedi Truth: Before Anakin became Darth Vader, there were hundreds, if not thousands of Jedi, and maybe what, a handful of Sith? The big question that should have been asked by every Jedi was "do we really want the Force balanced when we're on the good end of the stick right now?"
      • Wordof God is that the Dark Side is itself a form of imbalance.
  • Rationalize it or hand wave it any way you like-the fact that the air vent on the Death Star was open is a Titanic level error. No force field, no deflector shield, not even a sodding steel mesh grate. Just a big wide doorway that leads directly into the heart of the ship that is large enough to fire a missile down. And it's not even as if the canyon that Luke flies through to reach it is even that well defended seeing how easily he dodges the laser fire; if wasn't for the pursuing Tie Fighters he arguably wouldn't have had any significant obstacles at all.
    • The vent did have a deflector shield, which is why the Rebels had to use missiles. "The vent is ray-shielded, so you'll have to use proton torpedoes." "What? That's impossible, even for a computer!"
    • Still no excuse for the shaft Palpatine is thrown down, however.
  • A man called Obi-Wan Kenobi goes into hiding. He goes by the name of Ben Kenobi-on his nemesis' home planet, no less. *Facepalm*
    • Granted, the planet in question is the butt-end of absolute nowhere, he picked the most obscure part of it to live in, and his nemesis really really does not want to go back there.
      • If it's that impossible that he could be tracked there, why bother changing it from Obi-wan at all? And if it's not SOOOOOO impossible that you feel that changing your name would provide some extra level of hiding, he could call himself anything, Ben Smith, Ben Jones. It's either "no one could possibly find me here, so why bother changing even one name" or "if there's the off chance someone could find me here, why bother changing ONLY one name".
    • Gonna guess that Obi-Wan was originally intended as a Jedi name or something that he achieved after becoming a Master and Lucas just forgot to check his notes before doing the prequels.