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WallBangers: Live Action TV
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"God. I've watched this episode several times now, and I still just wince in pain at this scene every time."
It's kinda hard to " just relax" when something bad happens in a TV show that could easily have been fixed in other ways.
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Star Trek
- Star Trek Voyager
- Famed for notoriously bad episodes, "Voyager" still managed to have one episode in particular so bad that the powers that be noticed. "Threshold
" was that episode. In it, the characters, while attempting to figure out a way to get back to the Alpha Quadrant, break a law of series physics... and "evolve" into newts as a result, and then make out and have baby newts (the moment which caused the page quote). While never formally retconned (except for Tom Paris later saying he never went into transwarp, which he did in this ep), both fans and writers essentially pretend that episode never happened.
- The real problem with this episode was that it occurred before they'd discovered a way to communicate with the Federation. All they had to do at the end was put one volunteer on the transwarp shuttle with the Doctor's newt-mutation-curing hypospray and send him back to Starfleet HQ to tell them what was going on. Instead, the whole transwarp shuttle was ditched and never spoken of again.
- Voyager managed to alienate many longtime Star Trek fans in its pilot by introducing a spacefaring race of desert dwellers who use water as currency because it is so scarce. On planets with oxygen-rich atmospheres. While powering their spacecraft with fusion reactors that run on hydrogen. Did they lose the recipe?
- Probably. Those particular aliens were a pack of phenomenal idiots.
- Another long running wall banger for Voyager was their constant search for deuterium... an isotope of HYDROGEN and one of the most common isotopes in the universe. Research? We don't need no stinkin' research!
- And then there was the infamous Physics-Defying Pickup Truck from "The 37's". Voyager comes across a 1936 pickup truck just floating through outer space. They beam it aboard, and discover that:
- There's still oil in the crankcase, water in the battery & radiator, and gas in the tank.
- It starts right up as soon as someone turns the key in the ignition.
- The lousy AM radio picks up a distress signal through atmospheric interference that none of Voyager's sophisticated communication equipment can pierce.
- As if that weren't bad enough, it turns out that the owner of this brand-spanking-new truck was a poor black sharecropper who (along with a bunch of other people) was abducted from Earth... in 1937. Think about it. That was an age when rural areas still used mules.
- The distress signal was handwaved as being on a frequency that is not monitored by Voyager's sensors unless told to. But why should they? AM radio, at least on this planet, bounces off atmospheric interference. That's why AM radio stations once reached farther than any FM station can, and why AM doesn't sound as good as FM: AM radio waves don't just shoot straight through the atmosphere into space... (Yes, you've been Dan Browned.)
- The episode "Memorial": Not only did Janeway not destroy a grossly unethical memorial that traumatized countless millions, but she also ordered that memorial repaired. At least she put up a warning beacon.
- In "Nothing Human," the Doctor saves B'Elanna's life with the help of a hologram modelled after an infamous Cardassian doctor. The Doctor later decides to delete this hologram, a hologram that appeared just as sentient as the Doctor himself!. The Doctor also deletes all the data that saved B'Elanna's life in the first place, condemning to death anyone who gets into the same situation.
- It was far stupider for B'Elanna to refuse the treatment because of its source. The doctor did the right thing by ignoring her wishes; however, there was no reason to delete the medical information that could be used to save more lives. Sure, the way the information was gotten was terrible, but throwing it away isn't going to help the Bajorans who died.
- Yet another example: in the series finale, they have a future Janeway travel back in time to get Voyager home earlier. (It seems that the death of Seven of Nine in transit is, in hindsight, completely unacceptable to her.) In prior episodes, it was established that, in the future, the Federation monitors time travel and prevents interference in the timeline (the Temporal Prime Directive). Getting the ship home 16 or so years earlier, affecting the lives of possibly trillions of people, including at least two on purpose, should have got their attention.
- She was so hellbent on saving Seven, Chakotay, and Tuvok that she ignored the possibility of saving Carey or other countless dead redshirts.
- An odd episode of Voyager that is otherwise good, "Before and After," features
an elderly Kes somehow rewinding through her life the present Kes having her life flash before her eyes from the wrong direction. Her species only lives to about nine years, so this avoids any major set changes; her species had unexplored mind powers, so precog was never ruled out; and her knowledge of the future leads her to act on it and change it, which is why we don't see most of these events later in the series. Not too bad - no worse than most things involving Mental Time Travel. But it hits wall-bangingly stupid when it becomes clear that Kes apparently married Tom Paris and they had a child together. This child apparently grows up on the Ocampa schedule (read, really fast) and then marries. Who does she marry? Why, Tom Paris's best friend and near-brother, Harry Kim.
- Then there's the deeply racist "Tattoo." Do we have to have Chakotay's Native American heritage rubbed in and given reality this way? It was skewered rather marvelously by SF Debris by tranferring the plot to a Deep Space Nine episode about Sisko, with the aliens helping black culture. It ends with "Offended yet?"
- There's also 'Prey.' Janeway made a decision to get her entire crew killed for absolutely no purpose. Dying to protect 8472 would have been dumb enough; insisting on doing so when they knew that 8472 was going to die no matter what they did is just stupid.
- 'Course: Oblivion'. They suddenly, randomly had Tom and B'Elanna get married; they are meant to be exact duplicates of the real crew, so why the hell would their relationship progress about two years faster that the real Tom and B'Elanna? Ok, they did encounter different situations to the real Voyager, but how would that put them two years ahead? On that note, how did they end up a few weeks ahead of Voyager distance-wise? They have the exact same warp drive, and started out behind the original. Okay, Voyager screws around a lot, stopping to inspect every bit of space dust; but, since the duplicate crew had the same personalities and tendencies, wouldn't they be doing the same thing? But, whatever. Also, the cheap attempt at wrenching some tears out of the audience in the first 15 minutes with B'Elanna's sudden death was just plain nasty. Finding out they were duplicates was interesting, but then they had that go nowhere by having duplicate Janeway with insane stubbornness try to continue for Earth and then give up and have them all die in the end with no real purpose. If the real Voyager had seen them for a few seconds before they disintegrated, leaving them with something to think about, this could have been a decent episode.
- Here's the bigger question - these duplicates were all seen standing outside Voyager at the end of "Demon" on the planet's surface. Even if you manage to say that they just 'forgot' they were duplicates... WHERE THE HELL DID THEY GET THE SHIP?
- "Human Error." How did Seven suddenly go from one episode as her normal love-is-irrelevant self to in love with Chakotay? They never appeared to even like each other as friends. You could count on the fingers of one hand how many times they spoke outside of a professional setting. He didn't approve of Janeway's decision to sever her from the collective, and there was nothing to suggest that he ever changed his mind about that until "Endgame." They also had absolutely ZERO chemistry in 'Natural Law.' One of the most blatant examples of Strangled By The Red String in TV history.
- One of the more wall-banger-y aspects of Voyager only becomes apparent after watching several episodes. They're 70,000 light-years from home, but although one of their shuttles is lost or destroyed in nearly every episode for the first four or five seasons, they never seem to run out. This is eventually fixed (and lampshaded) when the Delta Flyer is created, but - well, that's at least five or six years replicating entire shuttles. (Yes, "Year of Hell" did take an entire year linear time...)
- Star Trek Enterprise:
- Star Trek Enterprise 's credibility was suspect from the moment it became clear that the communicators didn't work as well as the transporters. Working "cell phones" were beyond 22nd-century Starfleet; but disassembling living and non-living matter down to the sub-atomic level, flinging it vast distances, and having it reform perfectly was no problem. Seriously??
- It's a little strange when you consider that many of the big transporter screw-ups happened in later series, when you think Starfleet would have perfected the technology. Maybe this is an overall Trek wallbanger.
- Possibly the worst episode, or rather the second worst episode, of any Star Trek series ever produced (worse than "Spock's Brain" from the original series): the Star Trek Enterprise episode "A Night in Sickbay
". It wasn't just the stupid and overly melodramatic plot or the wooden acting. It went on and on and on, boring as hell, and what exactly was the point?
- The episode Dear Doctor has Captain Archer and Denobulan Dr. Phlox withhold a vital antidote intended for an alien humanoid race dying of a serious disease. They elect to cause genocide because of a set of rules (that is, the Prime Directive) that might be instituted in the future (Archer only just came up with it!) and because a second sentient humanoid race on the planet might be better off if the first race went extinct. Never mind that it lacked common sense; it also made them look like mass murderers.
- Look like??
- The entire premise that the first race was somehow "holding back" the evolution of the second race simply by existing was utter rubbish. It was an unpleasant "the parents must die for the children to reach their full potential" Aesop. But biologists long ago dumped in the trashbin the idea of an "evolutionary plan" which by some unseen hand (*cough*) progresses the evolution of species from a "primitive" stage to its destined glorious pinnacle, with Mankind (especially white people) standing tall at the top of the Great Ladder. (Manifest Destiny, indeed!) The idea is and has long been popular in Sci Fi, but anyone espousing it clearly demonstrates that he doesn't understand what Darwin and modern evolutionary biologists are talking about! Evolution is not some inexorable "progress" to higher levels; nor does "mutation" and genetic drift work like a magic wand.
- The second race had started with ape-like intelligence and had been fostered by the first race. They were getting more intelligent while coexisting with the first race; this was cited by Phlox as "proof" that the second race was trying to fulfill its "genetic destiny" (what?) and the first race was holding them back. It's far more likely that the second race was becoming more intelligent because of coevolution with the first race and their high-tech civilization - they were subtly being bred for it, just as 15,000 years of coevolution of humans has increased canine mean intelligence (compared to wolves). Apes held in captivity to be taught sign languages have been documented to teach sign language to their own children and other apes, both in captivity and after reintroduction to the wild! What kind of pressures to adapt to human presence does hunting and habitat destruction put on chimpanzees?
- Intelligence is an adaptive trait which created science, technology and medicine. But just when the first race would need medicine to survive the pandemic, Dr. Phlox claimed that the pandemic showed that their race was genetically degenerate and they had reached the end of their path and should just lie down and die already. It was all
God's will destiny, bless their souls. WHAT?
- The science shouldn't overshadow the likely genocide.
- If they never wanted to get involved, they shouldn't have gone down there, promised to help, created a cure, and then changed their minds and left only a hint. That was heartless. And then, in 'Observer Effect,' they have the audacity to cry and whine about the Organians sitting back to watch them die!
- The fourth season premiere had the Enterprise become indirectly responsible for creating an alternate Earth populated with evil space Nazis. The entire Temporal Cold War arc is dropped, with little explanation.
- Is this related to the episode in the original series with the planet of evil space Nazis? (If so, someone lived way too long...)
- Nope. Different space Nazis. Mein Kampf is apparently popular in space.
- Then there was the "Terra Nova" episode. The Novans are suspicious of humans because they believe that Earth tried to wipe them out generations ago; it is all solved with the revelation that the Novans are a lost human colony. Except... the Novans would have known perfectly well that they're human; they just wouldn't identify as "Terran" or "Earther".
- The finale of the show is a Star Trek The Next Generation episode in disguise, completely ignoring both shows' continuity and characterizations. The worst offender? Trip Tucker blows himself up during a hostage situation. Not once does he think to wait for a security team to arrive (T'Pol alerts everyone to intruders on the ship), nor does he try to stall for time. Instead, he has the aliens knock the captain unconscious and then leads them to a room where he intentionally blows himself up...and for what? (There is an officially licensed Fix Fic out there.)
- Star Trek The Next Generation:
- ...Sometimes, it's amazing that this series even had a chance to be as good as it was in season six with all the rampant WallBangers flying around in season one.
- "The Naked Now" is the supreme Wall Banger episode in the hit-and-miss first season. The inhibition-destroying disease from the original series episode "The Naked Time" hits the Enterprise-D. During the story, Dr. Crusher is somehow unable to recognize a dangerous disease with a known history, nor does she find it in her medical database; but Commander Riker finds it in Kirk's archived Captain's Logs, which are more than 70 years old. This implies that Dr. McCoy and/or Starfleet Medical kept terrible records. And that is nothing when you consider that Data gets drunk off of the molecule! A sentient machine, made (mostly) of metal and plastic with a positronic brain categorically different from our own, gets drunk off of a molecule that itself only causes drunkeness because of its similarity to the alcohol molecule. The whole "Riker found what Doctor Crusher didn't" is nothing compared to that.
- In "Datalore", it's understandable for Lore to be dismissive of Wesley to slip up his disguise. But the crew is dismissive as well, causing Wesley to basically shout it out to them!
- One of the stupidest lines in the whole series: the climax hinges on the crew realising that Lore has replaced Data because Lore can use contractions in his speech, while Data (inexplicably) can't. But when the real Data is returned and Picard asks how he is, he responds "I'm fine, sir"... That was a mistake by the actor, and they either didn't catch it or didn't have time to reshoot. Still pretty 'tarded, though. There are those who consider the mistake a fanfiction-fueling Or Is It? ending, but that's Stockholm Syndrome for you.
- Genesis: an "evolution" disease causes the crew to mutate into various creatures whose blueprints were still in our "junk DNA." Barclay turns into a spider - which shouldn't be in the DNA of anyone with a spine. A cat has kittens while turning into an iguana. A cat that may have once been considered male. Uh........ no.
- Of course, the Spot that was male was a different breed of cat than the Spot in later episodes. Still a wallbanger, since "Data's Day" came in the middle of the series, but a different type.
- They figured out that Spot was female in an episode a couple of months before Genesis...and they found out because she was pregnant. Cat pregnancies don't work that way. Data should have noticed his cat's "in heat" behavior about eight or nine weeks previously.... Do cats normally have four-month-long pregnancies?
- It should be noted that both Threshhold and Genesis were written by Brannon Braga, whose knowledge of evolutionary biology is exceeded only by his knowledge of quantum mechanics.
- Star Trek The Original Series:
- "Spock's Brain". Spock's brain is removed from his body, and his body is hooked up to remote control while the crew of the Enterprise try to get his brain back...
- Rumours abound that the episode (written, under a pseudonym, by the same man who gave us Khan, Klingons and the Prime Directive) was either a practical joke or a deliberate protest against the show's new direction and producer that somehow got made anyway.
- "The Omega Glory." We have a post-apocalyptic war between two primitive societies which threatens to create a second apocalypse. Kirk, being Kirk, takes sides. The side he takes ends up with an "American flag" and an American Constitution through some highly unlikely cultural convergence. And this particular society had an illuminated Bible, which just happened to have a picture of the Devil that looked exactly like Mr. Spock. They never appeared to be anything more than bloodthirsty genocidal thugs, but Kirk still took their side against their Asian-looking rivals.
- "Miri." A planet exactly identical to Earth exists in our galaxy and followed an exactly identical geological and evolutionary history right up until they accidentally create a pandemic that wipes them out. The odds of this happening should have been something like one in something much bigger than Graham's number
- but Spock does say that the odds of this sort of thing happening in the Trek-verse are high. No, the problem is that the planet being an identical copy of Earth has no bearing on the rest of the story; all that was needed was a radio beacon into space and a population biologically close enough to human to pass the killer disease on to humans and half-human Vulcans. In this 'verse, that needn't be that close.
- Star Trek Deep Space Nine
- Let He Who Is Without Sin...: So people who don't believe in free love are Always Chaotic Evil? Or, since Fullerton is lousy at being evil, always jerkasses?
- "Profit and Lace." Quark gets a sex change operation, which in the 24th century apparently involves brain surgery to make the patient start behaving like Betty Crocker.
- "Sons of Mogh": An atypically Jerk Ass Captain Sisko meddles in Worf and Kurn's private affairs by saying Kurn is not allowed to commit assisted suicide, which is perfectly lawful (and, if you've been dishonored, recommended) under Klingon law. This despite both Captain Picard and Captain Janeway having allowed people the choice in the past. That's right, there is canonically an issue about which Sisko is less understanding than Janeway.... For the record, they end up erasing Kurn's memory to get him out of this situation. Killing the body for assisted suicide is illegal, but killing the mind and personality is tolerable?
Doctor Who
- In the Doctor Who Christmas special, "The Christmas Invasion", the Doctor started a health scare which may have led to a leadership challenge and a vote of no confidence for PM Harriet Jones. The reason was that she ordered an alien ship full of slavers to be destroyed. The Doctor has his morals (even when they don't make sense), but it still didn't come off right. Hell, his previous incarnation mentioned that Harriet Jones was supposed to be the guiding light for Britain in the future. She's certainly not going to be any kind of guiding light now that she's become Dalek fodder. Harold Saxon (A.K.A. The Master, the Big Bad of Series 3) replacing Harriet Jones makes this even more of a stupid move.
- The Doctor claims that he can bring down Harriet Jones with just six words: "Don't you think she looks tired?" But the only person he told those six words to was Harriet's aide; the rumor would've had to have spread through that aide. That aide had just witnessed a heated argument between Harriet and the Doctor complete with raised voices. The aide would have to be stupider than Ralph Wiggum to fall for that ploy, or else blinded completely and instantly by Ten's charm. (This wouldn't be the last time Ten won people over with little-to-no warning, but we didn't know then that it would become an established trait...)
- He told Harriet that he would bring her down. It could be a Self Fulfilling Prophecy for her; still stupid, especially for someone who should've created a golden age, but at least not Ralph Wiggum stupid.
- Time Lords are telepathic, and this includes the ability to influence the minds of others. The Doctor was putting his mojo on said aide; Ten is capable of using his telepathy without even thinking.
- Didn't he call her 'the architect of Britain's golden age' in Season 1 of the new series, when he was still Nine? Even if she served as a guiding light after Ten changed things, she sure didn't do that.
- The worst thing about the Doctor's complaining about the destruction of the alien ship was his noting that it was leaving. The aliens had just proven that their word was worthless when their leader attacked the Doctor despite 'surrendering'. If the one had sworn on the blood of his species that they would leave and then immediately tried to kill the man who forced him to swear, who's to say the others would have stood by his word? Earth couldn't take the chance and let them go because they might come back and plan a less direct attack next time, one which would prevent any defence.
- The original script for "Last of the Time Lords" had the Master explicitly saying that it was only because of the Doctor's stunt that he was able to become Prime Minister, which was removed with the idea that being turned into a House Elf and finding out the true identity of the Toclafane was plenty for the Doctor to feel bad about. Russell T. Davies says that he still considers the fact canon, so it's a pity it's not unmistakably canon.
- Considering how many people find both the Doctor being turned into a House Elf and the revelation of the Toclafane to be Wall Bangers, the fact that those were left in and this was left out may be a Wall Banger itself.
- The problem isn't the Doctor's actions. This established that this incarnation can be a merciless, manipulative bastard, and this isn't the last time Ten's been like that by a long shot. The problem is that his rumor could spread so darn QUICKLY. That same evening, Rose is watching a BBC newscast which is already saying that Harriet might face a no confidence vote. Apparently, none of Britain's lawmakers bothered spending Christmas day with their families - they were too busy conferring among themselves to remove the PM from office because some guy they never heard of said she was tired.
- The Daleks In Manhattan/Evolution of the Daleks two-parter has a plot device involving Dalek DNA being transmitted to human corpses through the use of lightning strikes conducted through the Empire State Building — which, even in a series not known for its fidelity to hard science, is more than a little unbelievable. Worse, they claimed that this energy came from gamma radiation. Right, so gamma radiation = lightning, and lightning moves DNA and does a job that would take a dedicated team of geneticists decades to do. And the gamma radiation is supposed to be coming from a solar flare. This sequence takes place at night.
- In a more mundane but still annoying moment, a very young(-looking) man and two women, one of them black, get into the unfinished Empire State Building by posing as "two engineers and an architect." Psychic paper or no, someone in New York in 1930 should have questioned that.
- The real wallbanger in this episode was just how terrible the makeup and acting of the lead bad guy was. A lot can be forgiven if it's cool and atmospheric, but this wasn't.
- Journey's End. Who the hell let Russell near the medicine cabinet?
- Every finale of the current Doctor Who has been a Wall Banger. A futuristic space station that broadcasts homicidal versions of modern game shows and that's a plot by the Daleks? CHECK. An ark containing millions of Daleks who end up fighting ghosts who are really Cybermen? CHECK. The Doctor gaining magical, god-like powers due to everyone chanting his name? CHECK. Two Doctors, one of them half-human, and a half-Time Lord Donna seem almost san-wait, no, they don't; it's completely bonkers. It's sad that the first season finale is probably the most believable one...
- Rusty not only got to the medicine cabinet, but he also fed the characters the same idiot pills he took. Uh, guys, you have not one, but two functional teleport devices. Think they might be helpful?
- Ten getting all prissy at Blue!Ten / 10.5 / Handy (choose whichever you prefer) for blowing up the Daleks. Whatever happened to "no second chances"? The Daleks must be on their fiftieth chance by now. We have been told over and over and over that DALEKS = TEH EVOL. They certainly pose a far greater threat to the universe than, say, giant baby spiders.
- Finally: what happened to Donna. The Reset Button has never been used so cruelly.
- In the classic series, most of the Sixth Doctor's debut adventure 'The Twin Dilemma' suffers from Wall Banger after Wall Banger, from the decision to dress the Doctor in a costume that can be best described as a technicolour nightmare and have him attempt to kill his companion Peri, to the sheer lack of acting skills from the titular twins whenever they're on screen. Some fans had a hard time forgiving Six for trying to kill the person Five had recently died to save.
- Some fans had a hard time forgiving Six for failing to kill the person who caused Five's death.
- Likewise, the Seventh Doctor's debut adventure, 'Time and the Rani', suffers from several Wall Banger moments, including the Rani's brilliant plan to confuse the Doctor... by dressing up and acting like his companion, Mel.
- What about Mel herself? After the series tried hard to shake its reputation for being filled with Screaming Girlie stereotypes, we have an annoying, useless character whose personality can be described as "she has a whiny voice and she screams really loud and really often". She's blamed for the waning of Doctor Who in the 1980s more than Colin Baker is.
- Due to cancellation after Season 26, a movie which went mostly in another direction, and the reboot which ignored it (and Jossed some of it), the Cartmel Masterplan to freshen the image of the Doctor to a more mysterious and godlike persona now has all the hard-hitting impact of a Wall Banger. There were better ways of doing it...
- The Sixth Doctor episode "The Two Doctors." Humans are compared to, and treated like, cattle to make a Family Unfriendly Aesop. "Go veggie!"
- "Terror of the Vervoids" came just one season later and had evil mutated plants revolting because they instinctively fear people will eat them. Take That, vegetarians! That'll teach ya to eat grass!
- "Terror of the Vervoids" was interesting until the monsters were revealed. It's like their heads are penises!
- Going back (forward?) to the new series: the ending of "Love and Monsters." Ursula dies bravely; but instead of letting her sacrifice stand, the Doctor brings her back—but only partially, so that she's essentially a face on a slab of concrete. Possibly forever. The biggest problem? This is supposed to be a good thing. Head, meet desk. Almost as bad? The episode hints that Ursula and Elton still have a "love life" of some kind... Squick.
- It's even worse when you remember "The Five Doctors," in which Borusa's terrible punishment for seeking immortality was getting it - by becoming a face on a slab of concrete...
- And a little later in the new series, we're shown how horrible it is to be turned into a Cyberman. How's that worse than being a slab of concrete?
- There is the fan theory that Elton is meant to be an Unreliable Narrator and was driven a bit nutty by losing Ursula so now he's just imagining her as a piece of pavement. Note how we only see her face from his point of view, while his camcorder only sees the back of it... Which means that the Doctor has left Elton to go completely insane in the privacy and comfort of his own home, with a slab of concrete to obsess over. How is that any better?
- "Fear Her" featured, among other things, an alien spaceship that is powered by love. That is refueled by all the love surrounding the Olympics. The Olympics. While Rose exclaims, "Feel the love! feel the love!!." That episode is going to look doubly ridiculous come 2012, when David Tennent doesn't magically show up in the middle of the stadium to light the torch. (Though if he does, that would be kind of cool.) And right after that, the Doctor arbitrarily decides that "a storm is coming," just to end the episode on an ominous note for the season finale. Except that this episode takes place in 2012, and the finale takes place in 2006...so the Doctor can sense a big battle that is about to happen...six years ago.
- The Doctor deactivating Harkness's teleport device/time machine. What's the point of that, besides making it a bit more convenient for Torchwood (the series - the organization would be severely annoyed) by making sure he can't time-travel easily? It's just an act of dickery on the part of the Doctor.
- Also from Torchwood - Jack spent almost twenty centuries suffocating, dying and coming back to life again, but he suffered no permanent psychological damage. The wonders of modern television. And after more than two thousand years of being buried in dirt and exposed to the elements...his clothes are completely intact! It's not like this show has a nudity taboo. (Though we would all miss that Badass Longcoat.)
- Considering he spent those twenty centuries dying and coming back to life willingly in penance for failing to protect his younger brother, one may argue the psychological damage had already been done.
- The spontaneous offscreen transformation of Romana from Mary Tamm into
Princess Astra Mrs. Richard Dawkins Lalla Ward definitely qualifies. Bonus demerits for her then playing with her looks in such a way as to suggest she's wasting valuable regenerations, only to end up back at "Princess Astra.".
- The Toclafane are the last humans. They look like flying beach balls and see no problem with killing off all humanity at the Master's orders. This violates the hopeful spirit of most previous Doctor Who. The Doctor tells other species that Humans Are Special, but this is how we end up?!
- Well, special enough to escape the end of the universe and still hold the Doctor's title of "indomitable." Ah, the beautiful irony.
- SG-1 save the world from total destruction on a regular basis. What is their government's reaction? To complain about costs and suggest shutting the program down. Just to be clear, not to shut down development of a replacement defense, but to shut down the only defense against alien threats.
- When the humans get the technology to build starships, America keeps it to itself even after telling other nations about the Stargate program. America represents a minority of global manufacturing capacity. Spreading the knowledge would mean that Earth would have three or five times as many ships. Apparently, the viewers are supposed to agree that the extinction or enslavement of the human race is preferable to handing advanced technology over to dangerous evil and unstable nations like ... Britain and Canada.
- It got silly when there was a big deal made of finally revealing the Stargate program (well, aside from Russia). Apparently, all the Canadians who work out of Cheyenne Mountain for NORAD never noticed what was happening in the basement.
- This has been addressed in three episodes: one has the Russian General telling a Chinese ambassador that they are waiting for the Americans to iron out the kinks, at which point they will get the plans for none of the R&D. A second has a Russian Daedalus class which promptly gets blown up in the second part of the episode it is introduced in, but still... The third happened in the Atlantis finale when a ship that is probably meant to be Chinese (Tsun Tzu) is said to be engaging the enemy (and doesn't get blown up).
- Stargate Atlantis had a Wall Banger episode by the name of "Sunday". Doctor Beckett moves an explosive device instead of removing people from the scene, and the writers Hand Wave it by stating that the patient "will die if moved"; just after he gets it to the bomb squad but before they can put it into their safe detonator, it goes off. On top of that, the Techno Babble behind the Applied Phlebotinum doesn't even sound plausible, and the "tumor bombs" break the rules set forth for them in the very same episode in which they were introduced. Why? Because they wanted to have a Tonight Someone Dies episode where they kill off a beloved cast member. This proved so unpopular that the producers declared that Beckett was Not Quite Dead and that he would return in a later Story Arc; they even confirmed that he would be the genuine thing, not an illusion or a clone. When the episode, "Kindred", rolled around, however, he turned out to be a clone after all, so...whoops?
- The poor guy's doomed to die, sadly.
- Even worse, that death scene was a carbon copy (well, except for the exploding tumor bullocks instead of a conventional bomb) from a death scene in Greys Anatomy. Not so dramatic anymore if you have seen this before in a Love Dodecahedron Medical Drama.
- What's worse than all of this combined is that Beckett had more than enough time to run away after he gave the bomb to the member of the bomb squad. Instead, he just slowly walks away and is thus dead. So in conclusion, this character, who has to have some intelligence since he made it through medical school, is too dumb to run away when there is a bomb waiting to explode.
- Another kicker: Nobody seems to care at all about the bomb squad guy Beckett handed the bomb-tumor to, even though he had the thing in his hands when it went off.
- The series finale "Enemy At The Gate" also sparked rage among the fans, as many believed it didn't do justice to being the series finale. There are various points where those fans are right. The whole idea of a "super hiveship" is mediocre. This hive was powerful to fend off two earth cruisers (which happened offscreen), probably the strongest known battleships, which made people go "wait, what?". Of course, the ZPM-powered Odyssey was on a "secret mission". Then they throw in the "Wormhole drive" to make Atlantis able to travel to Earth quickly. When Atlantis arrives to battle the ship, you were probably expecting some epic fight. Sorry, to disappoint you, but an Atlantis with three goddamn ZPMs couldn't even win against that hive. The visual effects also were incredibly mediocre, and the pacing felt rushed. This may have been forgivable for a normal episode, but it was the goddamn series finale! Zalenka did specifically say that the power requirements for the wormhole drive were astronomical, so it is possible that the wormhole drive seriously depleted the ZPMs.
- They'd have had plenty of time to do a two-parter if the entire previous episode hadn't been devoted to an alternate reality just to explain how the Wraith got the coordinates to Earth. They wanted to spend an entire episode on that, instead of having time to show the cruisers being defeated and explain some of the other crazy shit from the finale, maybe making it not so rushed??
- Or if the series hadn't been cancelled between the Wraith-on-earth episode and Enemy at the Gate. The writers had originally planned something different, but had to tie together too many loose threads in one episode (while ignoring things like the surviving Asgard).
- Ronon's resurrection is still inexcusable. Way to ruin a dramatic and fitting character send-off in the final episode.
- They chose the lamest way possible to negate Earth's excellent defenses (in the form of the ancient outpost): Randomly having the international community decide they don't want international control of that nasty uber-powerful weapon in Antarctica - after many seasons of political maneuvering and fighting over the fact that the US was hogging all the goodies, and claiming that it was unacceptable for the US to have superweapons when no one else did. And the creation of the IOA. Just so that the chair could be moved to Area 51, where it could be blown up in an additionally lame fashion.
- Stargate SG-1 also has its moments. The worst may be the two-parter "Heroes." The bulk of it is one joke: annoying cameramen who must be rushed out of the way whenever the chevron guy says "Unscheduled offworld activation." This happens over and over and is the primary focus of the two episodes. The B-plot? Just a small matter of another SG team that has been ambushed offworld, with SG-1 needing to rescue them. In the end, a beloved major character is Killed Off For Real... ''offscreen.'' Dropped A Bridge On Him is the understatement of the century.
- That episode is one of the most popular in the series and won a Hugo Award.
- "Heroes" is a brilliant two-parter. It starts off as a light story, then shifts into something much more serious and important. Regarding it as a one-joke show is Completely Missing The Point.
- SG-1: Their resident anthropologist/linguistic geek guy explains that another planet (the Tollan) are ahead of Earth technology-wise because Earth had the Dark Ages and so they are 100-500 years ahead of us. The Dark Ages only affected Western Europe (leaving the Islamic World in a cultural and scientific renaissance, not to mention the Byzantine Empire, or, you know, small places like CHINA).
- This one from Stargate SG 1 is especially bad. Considering the two SG-1 episodes "Thor's Hammer" and "Thor's Chariot" together, the SG-1 team can be considered guilty of negligent genocide. (Yes, the Goa'uld did the killing, but surely SG-1 should have seen that coming.) Come on, folks—-couldn't they have found a better way to get Teal'c out of the labyrinth than destroying the one bit of technology keeping the world safe? The humans could go through both the labyrinth and the stargate at will; they could easily have sent for more help from home, dug him out, and then rebuilt the wall so that any remaining Goa'uld would still have to go through the hammer. Or Stargate Command should have left behind a full set of infantry or something once they destroyed the protection. The characters in the show lampshade this but somehow are never held morally responsible for it.
- Why couldn't Teal'c do a running jump through the thing? Or, if the device paralyzes him, why couldn't the rest of the team just pull him through?
- A few times in Stargate SG-1, the team tries to convince some Jaffa to use the tretonin drug instead of a symbiote, in order to get rid of the Jaffa's dependence on the Goa'uld. Problem is, tretonin is made of ground-up Goa'uld. This is, at best, a temporary solution.
- The Tokra develop a synthetic version at the end of the episode it is introduced in, so really what it does is just make the Jaffa dependant on the Tokra/Earth.
- The second season of Heroes seems to be built entirely on a foundation of Wall Bangers and Idiot Balls:
- When West tells Claire that he was abducted by a man with horn-rimmed glasses, the reasonable response would've been for Claire to say "Yeah, that's my dad. He used to work for an evil company that kidnapped people, but now he's a good guy". Instead, she keeps quiet. Likewise, she told him not to come to her home, but was utterly incapable of telling him it was actually dangerous, rather than that she just had overprotective parents. "Don't come if you don't want to be killed or locked up" isn't hard to say, even if she can't explain the details.
- Then there's the Maya storyline, which ended up being a colossal Shaggy Dog Story, as Maya gets shot just before the climax and is only healed in the closing moments. This one may have been caused by the writers' strike.
- Peter being told by Hiro, Matt, and Victoria that Adam was evil but not even reading his mind to check if he wanted to release the world-ending virus instead of destroy it qualifies. Granted, given that Adam's worked with a mind reader before, lived for 400 years, and presumably developed very strong willpower, it's quite possible that he's trained himself to resist all mind reading, but Peter never even tries. Also, Peter trying to open a massive vault with telekinesis and wait for Adam outside as he walks in to destroy it by himself, presumably with his sword, instead of simply phasing through it and destroying it himself. Peter seems to be a walking pile of phlebotinum that is held in check only by his Idiot Ball.
- Another good example of Peter-flavored Wall-Banging: Amnesia-ridden Peter goes to the future with his new Irish girlfriend, promptly loses her there, and returns to the present without her. Granted, he'd have a helluva time finding her; but now, that future's been invalidated, and she's lost in an alternate future forever. And he promptly forgot about her upon his return (as in, within five seconds).
- Wasn't Caitlin infected with the virus? Bringing her back to the present would likely start the viral apocalypse. Then again, he didn't even check.
- One of the apparent main themes of Heroes is that nobody can make a good decision, ever. This is a Wall Banger in itself. About the only decision any character makes that isn't disastrously wrong is "I think I'll have the waffles."
- Claire would somehow be maimed by the waffle iron.
- Season three seems to be nothing but Wall Bangers.
- Sylar's Hunger Retcon.
- In 3x12, "Our Father": After a very touching moment where Hiro receives the catalyst from his dying mother and swears to always protect it, he reunites with Claire. Then Arthur Petrelli shows up from NOWHERE having no way of knowing how they would be there. He proceeds to take the catalyst and Hiro's power, rendering most of the episode meaningless. And that's the second time Arthur does that!.
- Somewhat justified; Arthur DID steal every power Peter had ever absorbed, including time-travel, teleportation and precognition. We had already seen him drawing out future events earlier in the season, so it isn't too much of a jump to suggest that he drew a few more pictures off-camera, figured out what Claire and Hiro were up to and acted accordingly. And we already saw him teleport to go after Hiro the first time... Though this wasn't immediately obvious; this was one of the few times this season when repeating things as if the Viewers Are Morons (how DID Peter survive that fall?) was necessary. That they DIDN'T explain this point is a Wallbanger in itself.
- That justification just makes Arthur Petrelli not doing more with his phenomenal cosmic power all the worse. Seriously, he spent almost the entire volume sitting around doing nothing before they found the Haitian and killed him.
- Episode 3x13. Sylar angsting about HRG and friends turning him evil and throwing a tantrum over the lack of good in the world?
- What's idiotic with Peter that episode is his cooperating with Knox & Flint on their destructive rampage enough to ask Knox to stand guard on Nathan. Peter, you are aware that you are now an accessory before the fact to the attempted murder of your brother and the murder of everybody who didn't get out of that building in time? Of course you're not; you're Peter Petrelli and thus Too Dumb To Live.
- The finale of volume 3 could be infuriating (although the Sylar bits were brilliant). The super-marine, who could have been an interesting character, gets his neck snapped by Knox randomly. It would have been better to have the two super-strength guys have a real knock-down fight scene - that's what super strength is for.
- Perhaps the only meaningful thing that Pinehearst and the Company ever did was create Sylar and let him loose on the world.
- It seems volume four is going to be one of these after another as far as Nathan is concerned; he's turning into Marvel Civil War Tony Stark. At least the show's writers aren't waiting until the storyline is over for everyone else to take turns telling him what an asshole he's being, though.
- Even worse with volume four is the abduction of Hiro. The US government abducted a private Japanese citizen from Japan and held him without trial because they thought he might possibly commit a crime in the future that he is physically unable to commit. This citizen is the head of a major corporation who can afford to get the message out and who should have some pull in Japan.
- The Volume 4 finale delivers just as promised. Big effin' fight scene that takes place almost entirely offscreen? Check. Major character (Nathan Petrelli) getting a bridge dropped on him? Check. And Matt Parkman using his telepathic powers to rewrite Sylar's entire identity to make him think he's Nathan. Yeah, there's just no freaking way that that isn't going to blow up in everyone's faces (especially the writers').
- It's already starting to...
Angel
- Season 3 contains a relatively minor but still vexing one that was even Lampshaded towards the end of the series. Why didn't Wesley tell someone, anyone, about the prophecy that Angel would kill Connor? It's understandable that he didn't tell Angel, but going to Angel's sworn enemy before his own friends... Bang, bang, bang.
- He didn't trust Angel to handle it rationally, Cordelia was off banging the Groosalugg, and he'd already fallen out with Gunn and Fred over the romantic triangle involving them (which was a bit of a Wall Banger itself). Plus, it is a standard rule of Angel that if you think you've ever reached the depths of how fucked up Wes is, you're wrong.
- How about season 4, when they just take the word of the big evil that killing the human enslaving and eating Jasmine was a bad thing, and then they take over Wolfram & Hart?
- Angel himself had a good reason; they gave him a choice between accepting Wolfram and Hart's offer, or having his son kill Cordelia, a mall full of people, and himself. Wesley, Fred, Gunn, and Lorne, however... yeah, dunno what they were thinking.
- Angel accepted the offer unilaterally. Not only did none of the others sign on (Angel signed for all of them), but they were also affected by the memory edit re: Connor until Wesley broke the spell in "Origin". Not very considerate of Angel, but oh well....
- Wolfram and Hart was both powerful and corrupt. Taking charge of the firm could've killed or corrupted Angel's Investigations; but if they had managed to tame it, they would've scored a major blow against the Senior Partners. That's why they decided to take the offer. The Angel gang knew the risk; they even lampshaded it and it became a continuous conflict throughout Season 5. But heroes like them weren't the kind of people who wouldn't take risks.
- Right. Make a Deal With The Devil in hopes of taking down the devils above the one you're making the deal with? The odds of that working are likely worse than that of winning the world record Powerball ticket; and, since it involves accepting a Deal With The Devil, it's not as noble as most long shots.
- The chances weren't greatly in their favor, but the theme of Angel is to continue fighting for redemption and against evil even if, or especially when, you're the underdog. And as for the immorality of making a Deal With The Devil, the Angel gang ultimately just get sick of it and end up trashing Wolfram and Hart's LA headquarters, making the point moot.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
- Buffy example: "Summer's Blood." All through season 5, it was repeatedly stated that Dawn was the Key and that there was something that she could do that no one and nothing else could. Then, at the last moment, it turns out that Buffy can take Dawn's place and die instead of her. Granted, it happens to set up a Heroic Sacrifice (and possibly a Crowning Moment Of Awesome) for Buffy.
But Buffy should have had to sacrifice Dawn or watch her sacrifice herself; it would have been more poignant.
- That particular wall banger was lampshaded by Anya later when she admitted that she never got how the whole "Summer's blood" thing was supposed to work; the scene moved on before anyone could try to explain it. Unfortunately, as much as Joss Whedon loves lampshading and winking at the fans, pointing out the plot hole doesn't make it any less of a plot hole.
- The list of crimes against the series in seasons 6 and 7 was long:
- Tara's death. She was standing in the middle of the room on the second floor. Unless a sniper was framing Warren, that shot was one-in-a-million.
- Worse. The bullet would either have had to materialize in mid-air, or come through the wall and not the window, for that shot to be possible. But we saw the killing from the bullet's POV, so we know neither happened.
- Tara's death being the cause of Willow's Face Heel Turn. Reducing such a beloved character and relationship to a Morality Chain is appalling in itself.
- Xander leaving Anya at the altar. Totally out of character and contrived for the sake of drama.
- Hey, Buffy just came back from the dead! She's back from endless torment in hell (or so we think)! Do we run to her and hug her like we would have in previous seasons, like when Willow was thought to be dead and turned out not to be in "Dopplegangland"? No! We stand there at a safe distance and talk about her like she's not there.
- "From beneath you, it devours."
- Giles suddenly leaves for England, comes back, leaves again, and then comes back... never mind that his reasons for abandoning Buffy are so out of character that the actor himself had issues with it.
- Dawn continues to regress to an annoying child, making everything she says a Wall Banger. How does the entire cast of characters put up with it?
- To drive the point home, by season 7, Dawn's main source of angst was that she wasn't special like Buffy. Special! She had her chance at that!
- Willow hops into bed with the first annoying skank who shows interest in her despite being the character who'd be the least likely to do that and subjects us to their annoying "relationship" for the rest of the season.
- Willow's Anvilicious "magic addiction". This plot line could have been interesting. Instead, it was played for full after-school-special camp, reducing Willow to a painful cliche.
- For some fans of the character, Willow's Face Heel Turn is a horrific Wall Banger and a heartbreaking Character Derailment.
- Buffy and Spike's "love story," in particular the re-structuring of the series to revolve around it.
- The particularly mind-boggling thing about the Buffy and Spike relationship of Season 6 is that Seeing Red, in which Spike is given a Rape the Slayer moment, was contrived by the writers because they thought the fans were starting to like Spike too much. Since they had given him a number of redemption moments in the previous two seasons, this was entirely their fault. Then they rolled a 1 on their Authors Saving Throw. Bang, bang, bang.
- Everyone abandoning Buffy and kicking her out of her own home. What?
- Dawn says, "This is my house too, so you have to leave." Yes, the whiny underaged brat clearly must have as much say as the adult who pays the bills. And everyone in the gang who doesn't live there? Sure, let them have a say in it, too. Honestly, Buffy should have told them that, if they disagreed with her so much, then THEY could leave.
- By that point, they all DID live there.
- Giles and his "act like a general" speches from the last season. When Buffy makes the hard and unpopular decisions regarding Spike, Giles gets on her case for not making the decision that he wanted. But he was the one urging her to take command. If he was serious about it, then he needed to accept her decisions when she took command.
- After two seasons about how our title character is so Cursed With Awesome that she'd rather be dead than have to shoulder it, we're supposed to inspired and moved by her cursing thousands and thousands of other girls with her awesome?
- Even the
vastly overrated universally beloved "One More With Feeling" is not without one. Xander summoned Sweet?
- He thought he was a spirit of singing and music, not a murderous demon. Xander's always been Book Dumb.
- Totally screwing five seasons worth of Character Development for a quick joke? The objection still stands.
- "Doublemeat Palace" achieves wallbanger status for many, not just because the episode is bad, but also because Buffy has to get a job at a fast food restaurant...while Willow is apparently living at her house rent free.
- Buffy's "Cookie Dough" speech.
- "Get It Done". Buffy-Stalin calls a young girl who was scared out of her mind and who committed suicide a "weak idiot". We also learn that the Slayer's origins lie in rape. How charmingly sickening.
- Before all of that was Season 4's "Wild at Heart". Veruca the werewolf takes advantage of Oz during his werewolf stage, a time when he has no control over himself or his actions. It is natural for Willow to be upset over the situation; but Buffy treats Oz like the bad guy and acts like he gave Veruca full consent. Not only that, but the entire episode also seemed to have the message that "Men are animals and have no control over their sexuality," which is utter crap even in-universe. And what do you know, Marti Noxon wrote it.
Others
- Out Of Jimmys Head is terrible anyway; that it's a live-action show on Cartoon Network, one that cleared the way for others, is infuriating.
- Mythbusters with their first Viewer's Choice special. The myths were all so easy to test, they could've easily been used as "extra scenes" on the Discovery website.
- The producers of Mythbusters ADMITTED to trying to make sure something is destroyed dramatically in every episode. Because we poor drooling fans can't be happy unless we see a "big boom" every week.
- Sssshhhhh! We're trying to watch the explosions!
- The scientific method is still present. It's just that most of the experimentation gets edited out in favor of Adam hurting himself or things being blown up.
- Landry and Tyra killing a man who had tried to rape Tyra and then dumping the body in the second season premiere of Friday Night Lights. Within minutes, fans were lighting up message boards about how this development completely went against the realistic, intimate portrayal of small town life the show's first season had done so well. It was highly unpopular with critics, also; not one has yet come forward to defend it.
- One episode of My Wife And Kids involves the Kyle women inventing a holiday, "Sweethearts Day", expressly for the purpose of forcing their men to buy them diamonds. Michael gets Jaye pearls when she displays a bad attitude over the phone and encourages the other men to do the same; of course, they don't, and Michael spends the rest of the episode attempting to apologize. What made the episode a Wall Banger was that it made Jaye look completely faultless, ignoring the fact that she invented the whole thing because, as she declared, Michael needed to prove how much he loved her by buying her diamonds — completely ignoring the years of happy marriage and their three children. Quite aside from making Michael look like an idiot for going along with such bullshit, Jaye comes off as an ungrateful materialist, and is held up as the protagonist in the story for it. What an uplifting message for female viewers. And it isn't like he got her feces. Pearls cost money too. Should given her a homemade gift. A liquid home made gift.
- The 1998 Merlin miniseries climaxes with the Good Guys defeating the Evil Queen, who had just fought Merlin to a stalemate in a cool magical battle, by turning their backs and disbelieving. It is set up, but it's still a Missed Moment Of Awesome.
- Serena Southerlyn's reaction to being fired from the Law And Order team:
- Sara Sidle's sudden departure from CSI shortly after she accepted a proposal from Grissom and transferred to another shift so they could be together without jeopardizing their careers - especially since her reasons for leaving (specifically, "ghosts" from her past cropping up since the death of her father) fly in the face of why she hooked up with Grissom (he was a stabilizing point in her life who, for two seasons, helped her greatly).
- Also from CSI, Sara's inability to practice basic survival techniques in the season 8 premiere, even after years as a CSI when she would have either gotten a brief lecture as a part of bonus job training or learned the basics after she encountered someone who died while hiking in the wilderness, like the guy Grissom found while searching for Sara.
- Another one from CSI: using silica as GPS Evidence. You know, the second most common molecule on the planet. It's quartz dust, people!
- CSI New York, the episode centered around Second Life. Sure, the episode had about every inaccurate gaming trope (despite help from the game's developers), but the real Wall Banger was when the perp got away. First of all, she was so desperate to get away, she shot an innocent bystander and then leaped down a garbage chute. Yet, in the shot between those, we see her walking calmly down a flight of stairs at a clipped stride because she's in six-inch heels. Wouldn't she have yanked her footwear off to go faster? Despite that hobbled pace, she still manages to outrun the police, who didn't take that long to see that the bystander was safe. Bad Video Game portrayals in a videogame episode is one thing; the final chase following slasher flick physics is something else.
- Speaking of CSI video game episodes, CSI Miami's 'Urban Hellraisers' episode is incredibly stupid. From the guy playing himself to death to the entirely wrong portrayal of video games to the game company having people commit crimes from the game for advertising: stupidity after stupidity for an hour straight.
- How about CSI's "Fur and Loathing"? Behind Wall Banger Number One: Latex lining for a Fursuit! Yes, latex, which traps heat and moisture in an already extremely warm costume. He'd cook in that thing. Even without latex, everyone in a fursuit (which most con-goers wouldn't be, given that they're expensive and not every furry wants one) would be cooking... even without having sex or making speeches under hot lights. Did the furry con take place in a giant walk-in freezer?
- Kamen Rider Faiz contained a running rivalry between hero Takumi (and his alterego, Kamen Rider Faiz) and Kiba (and his alterego, the Horse Orphenoch). This began as a case of Living With The Villain (even though both are basically nice guys), but soon descended into pure farce. The device used to transform into Faiz was frequently stolen and used by the bad guys just long enough for Kiba to assume that Takumi had done it. Eventually, they each found out who the other was; even then, the rivalry wouldn't stop. At one point, they're trying to make up with each other, but things just get worse because their friends can't be bothered to accurately memorise one simple message. By the fifteenth skirmish between Takumi and Kiba, it starts looking a bit contrived.
- In the show Brainiac Science Abuse: One episode had a viewer mail question, "Will those things that make your bike sound like a motorcycle make it run faster". They did a test of it. When they did the bike run with the motorcycle sound device, the run was faster by the previous run (without the device) by one second. They instantly stated that the device will make your bike run faster. Yeah. Studies include margins of error for a reason...
- They tested the Brown Note and outright lied about the results to make it funnier. They gave up any shadow of being a scientific or educational show right there.
- The X Files season 9 episode "Jump The Shark" (one can only presume the title was meant to be ironic) gave the initial appearance of being a tongue-in-cheek comedy episode centred on fan favourites The Lone Gunmen, only to end up killing off all three of them in the most shamelessly moronic manner imaginable. They quite clearly had enough time to escape between pulling the alarm lever and the emergency doors sealing them in, and yet they didn't even try. And if for some reason that wasn't possible, why would all three of them need to stay behind? And what the hell was the point the bad guys' plan in the first place: killing thousands of people with a virus . . . just for kicks?
- "Audrey Pauley", from the same season, the one where Reyes spends most of the show in a dollhouse. Seems to have been filmed from five completed pages of script. Nor does it help that the villain may as well have the word "EVIL" tattooed on his forehead, yet no one suspects him.
- Even Battlestar Galactica is guilty of this:
- Ronald D. Moore himself admits that the second season episode "Black Market" is a huge Wall Banger, and it has not been referred to since (apart from the death of Fisk).
- Let's just say that if it's a stand-alone episode, then it's almost assuredly a Wall Banger. This goes double if it's a stand-alone in the third season.
- The ultimate stand-alone episode (third season, natch): "The Woman King."
Michael Angeli "Helo" thwarts a racist serial killer doctor who didn't exist before and is never heard from again. Everyone carries a gigantic Bigotry Ball so Helo can be the hero.
- Cylon/human fetal stem cells cure cancer.
- The whole New Caprica debacle as a whole. You do not start suicide-bombing a race who is for all intents and purposes invincible when they, if sufficiently angered, can simply take off and nuke your planet from orbit, that being the only way to be sure. And then there's what happened to the Pegasus.
- Battlestar Galactica's Grand Finale has proved to be the grossest of its Wall Bangers, which were building up throughout the third and fourth seasons. Spoilers ahoy.
- On the trail of a cannibal killer, the third season of Bones ended with the Character Derailment of Zack, in a last-second reveal that he was an apprentice cannibal killer. With no lead-in or explanation whatsoever. The writers admitted they made their decision at random, and it was hastily written in two months before the shooting. Next season, it will be revealed that Booth is an Iraqi transvestite prostitute during the season finale, no doubt.
- Jossed. Booth only had a brain tumor that let him see Stewie from Family Guy, among other problems. There are a few who were furious that an apparent sex scene between Bones and Booth in the finale is somehow half Bones's writing and half Booth's hallucinating in a coma. The producers said it would not be All Just A Dream, but they appear to have used a loophole...
- In a recent episode of The Unit, the Unit is called in to help defuse a hostage situation. Instead of bringing in a team of expert soldiers to clear the building out like expected, they send a few troops to train the local SWAT team in basic room-clearing tactics. When the issue comes up about shooting around hostages, the Unit has the SWAT officers train to deal with this by firing between their moving teammates with live ammunition(!). Then, when the time comes for the assault on the terrorists, the Unit troops (who are supposed to be advising the SWAT team and haven't participated in any of their clearing excercises up until this point) lead the way wearing civilian clothing and armed with pistols when the rest of the SWAT officers are properly armored and armed with submachineguns. Isn't this show supposed to be somewhat realistic?
- Supernatural: In All Hell Breaks Loose, John manages to stroll out of hell, saves Dean from getting shot by Azazel, give his boys an 'I'm proud of you' look, and goes up to heaven in a cheap white light. Nice, if slightly cheesy, right? Wrong. Dean's going to be in hell for a shorter time than he was and suffer PTSD when he gets out; there's no way he should be fine. Sam just gets a stiff nod (which doesn't exactly make up for him being sent for coffee in My Time Of Dying). The boys don't have much to be proud of. Dean gets to commit suicide, Sam's killed a human in cold blood, and Bobby and Ellen got to close the gate while they were pinned to a grave and a tree. They've made clear that John's a terrible father who has messed them up horrifically badly. So you can be forgiven for either feeling completely frustrated or having a bitter taste in your mouth. (This might have been the intention; you can never tell with this show.)
- When it comes to John, there tends to be a lot of (maybe intentional, seeing how they think he's a psychopath) wallbangers. Like Long Distance Caller, for example: Dean had a beautiful revelation that John was an arsehole, and now he's back to "I made that deal 'cos you told me to look after Sam and I'm sorry, please don't be mad at me"; and Sam is completely disbelieving anything his father (or a reasonable facismile thereof) says. Oh John, why are you still fucking up their lives so much?
- Speaking of Long Distance Caller, the Monster Of The Week seemed a tad inconsistent. The Crocotta spends the majority of the episode killing off meat bags by making them commit suicide a safe distance from his lair. But then he randomly decides he can only kill Sammy by stabbing him in person. Ignoring that, there's the very long speech on the evils of modern society (Why Dont Ya Just Shoot Him comes to mind) when he's captured Sam instead of the stabby stabby. The speech makes no sense. None.
- It decided to kill Sam there because Sam physically went after it. Secondly, it was a pretty brief speech on just how cell phones and computers made his hunting easier
- Ghostfacers has a nice one where the after some lovely homophobia ("You gotta be gay for the poor dead intern!" was particularly cringe-inducing), we learn about the awesome power of tote bags to contain the power of magnets. Unless the magnet is taken out of that tote bag, no harm can come to one's sensitive computer and video equipment.
- Dream a Little Dream of Me. The villain became a psychotic killer because he couldn't dream.
- REM sleep holds the psyche together, and the villain had an abusive father. This is not a stretch. If anything's off, it's the fact that he has long-term memory.
- Season 3 in general, Bella in particular.
- After the Wallbangers in Season 3, Season 4 bounced back by producing some of the show's best episodes - until the 10th episode. "Heaven And Hell" had several Series Continuity Errors within the same episode, most notably the idea that angels can't feel or show emotion, despite a large amount of emoting by the actors. Then they decided to include a contrived plotline with "fallen angel" Anna , complete with a schmaltzy Titanic homage. Some are of the opinion that if not for the Tear Jerker Downer Ending, the episode would have been a complete waste. There is plenty of snark to be had, but nothing does it justice like the TWoP recap.
- The "pep talk" at the end of "It's A Terrible Life", where the angel tells Dean to stop whining about his life because he has a cool car and can sleep with hot women. Say what, writers? If you feel like that, then why put so much effort into breaking the cutie in the first place?
- It was meant to get Dean to stop all his Wangsting; his Wangsting is a common complaint against the show. The angel in question lists Dean's many legitimate problems but concludes, 'you have good stuff too, so there's no need to mope all the goddamn time.' He did come down a little hard on the fellow, all the same.
- Now that we know more about Zachariah, that speech gets really chilling.
- Power Rangers has a bad one in the "Operation Overdrive" season. It doesn't affect the plot or derail any characters, but it's so overwhelmingly stupid that it deserves a place here. Tyzonn, the Mercury Ranger, and Crazar, an alien cat beast, are grappling in a desert when Crazar throws a handful of sand in Tyzonn's face, which is currently encased in a helmet with a full faceplate and no visible openings. Tyzonn inexplicably reacts by yelling and clawing at his visor, just as if he had just gotten sand thrown in his eyes, as opposed to having some grains bounce off his helmet. Head, meet wall. What makes this worse is that the beginning of the episode featured Crazar trying to split up the team by trapping Tyzonne in a fantasy that he was still on his home planet with his fiance and had never left - his adventures on Earth and career as a Ranger were nothing more than a hallucination. This is a great idea, except Crazar doesn't remove the morpher, attempt to turn it off, change the volume, or anything like that. The attosecond the other Rangers call for Tyzonne, the whole scenario falls apart. There is a reason Crazar earned the title 'world's dumbest Fear-cat', and her messy destruction later on is thoroughly deserved.
- If you want one that does derail the characters, you want Just Like Me. Ty fanboying Will, Will suddenly being Mr. Teamwork, and Mack acting like a general leading his army (yeah, Red is usually the leader, but nobody put Mack in charge; and for the first half of the season, they made a point of giving everybody a turn to initiate the Transformation Sequence - a typical Red privelege) is all kinds of wrong. For tropers who aren't familiar with Power Rangers, imagine Luke Skywalker circa Return of the Jedi suddenly being Han Solo's biggest fanboy, taking it to a "lovesick puppy" level. Now imagine Han acting like your average character from a 1980s-to-early-1990s cartoon, all about teamwork and The Power Of Friendship, And Knowing Is Half The Battle. Now imagine Lando (post-Heel Face Turn, pre-Generalship) acting like Qui-Gon. And top it off with everybody acting like all this has always been the normal state of affairs. Head, meet wall. Preferably Bruce Kalish's head.
- Quite a lot of Wall Bangers were caused by Adaptation Decay. In one episode of Magiranger, the team mentor learns An Aesop that the time you waste doing nothing but thinking about how to overcome a problem is time that could be spent working to unlock a possible solution, and explicitly states that the moral is not "don't think, just do". In Power Rangers, the lesson becomes "Do things your own way, even if it means disobeying orders and acting reckless." Following this, the mentor immediately drops his own way of fighting in favour of acting just like another character. If that wasn't bad enough, that character fights with a "don't think, just do" philosophy.
- Two key plot points in SPD: Sam the Omega Ranger condenses into a ball of light while in the present (even the real-world reasons for the decision to make him like that are worthy of slamming someone's head through a wall...), and Aisynia's survival. Seriously, Doggie being the Last Of His Kind was cool and all, but why have his wife still alive when Fridge Logic dictates there is no reason for her to be? To wit (and add insult to injury), Emperor Gruum - who has a personal grudge against Doggie - could've used the fact that he has Aisynia under his control as bait to further screw with the Sirian, but he himself doesn't know; the one who does - The Man Behind The Man Omni - has no reason whatsoever to keep her alive after Sirius' destruction, making her survival completely nonsenical...Anyone have an Aspirin?
- In "Return of An Old Friend," both the villains and the rangers consider the villains' theft of the Dragon Dagger (and by extension the Dragon Zord) essential to the villains' plan to make the rangers surrender by kidnapping their parents. That's right - apparently, the rangers would have been willing to leave their parents for dead if they hadn't lost the Dragon Zord.
- There is an episode of Wishbone in which Wishbone is wrongly accused of knocking over trash cans and covering yards with their contents. The culprit is a much larger, more foul-smelling dog (though in the humans' defense, Wishbone is the only character who specifically mentions the smell, so it's possible that only his sensitive nose can detect it). His primary accuser is a female dog catcher who appears married to the idea of "he was there; therefore, he is guilty." The height of the stupidity in that episode is a scene in which Wishbone, chasing after the other dog, passes in front of the porch ... and immediately, the dog catcher steps down, snaps a photo, and says "They always return to the scene of the crime!" The closeup shot of Wishbone, sitting there and staring up at the camera, without any of the garbage visible, is treated as conclusive proof by the other human characters. This is exacerbated by the fact that the tip of the actress's shoe was visible in the shot of the porch as Wishbone passed in front of it. So she only saw Wishbone, and didn't notice the much larger brown dog right in front of him, and didn't even consider the possibility that it might be someone else? It gets better, though — when Wishbone finally catches up with the other dog, and contrives that the humans see it at the same time as a garbage-covered yard ... they automatically point their finger at the larger dog, and Wishbone is cleared of all suspicion. The other dog is guilty, and Wishbone is not, but really ...
- In Walker Texas Ranger, the whole 2-part episode about AIDS. Especially Haley Joel Osment saying, completely deadpan, "Walker told me I have AIDS." At least it made for a great Walker, Texas Ranger Lever.
- Mr. Monk and the Astronaut, on Monk. Civilians are allowed to wander around an air force base and handle live missiles (which aren't left lying around like that) without being shot; one of the Air Force security personnel wields an AK- series rifle, even though the rest hold M4s and AK=whatevers are a Russian type of rifle; Monk runs right behind an active jet engine without being fried... They get pretty much everything else wrong, too.
- But at least it had Burn Notice's Michael Westen as the astronaut. That counts for something.
- High School Musical has plenty, but the Dethroning Moment of Wallbangery has to be when the drama teacher changes the time of the callback audition for no apparent reason other than a couple of students told her to. It doesn't even occur to her to check and see if the other participants might have conflicts. It was subtly suggested that she did it on purpose; she didn't like the other participants much and was convinced they were going to ruin theater forever. But that would be even worse - it would make her petty and vindictive as well as stupid. The only reason the 'other participants' were in that position was because she invited them back. It's not like this was a performance; this was a callback for her to decide who to pick.
- One of the subplots in The West Wing episode "The Women Of Qumar" features C.J's bad reaction upon hearing that the United States is selling arms to Qumar, a Quracian Throw Away Country with a poor record for observing women's human rights. Whilst the overall point that the episode is making - that women in several Middle Eastern countries are subject to outrageously barbaric and inhumane treatment as second-class citizens, and that the United States' record of maintaining relations with these nations means that it shares some degree of complicity in this - is valid, the writers unfortunately choose to stress this point by having C.J behave in an unreasonably immature and unprofessional near-Straw Feminist manner about it to her male colleagues in general and to Toby in particular - who she seems to blame for the treatment of women in this region, despite his sole connection to the arms deal in question being that he informed her that it was happening; he had not displayed any kind of pleasure about or sympathy with what is going on. She gatecrashes a completely unrelated meeting Toby is having with some World War II veterans to beat her drum further about the issue and tells Toby to screw himself before he can not-entirely-unreasonably call out her unprofessional behaviour. And it seems that we are supposed to agree with C.J here, since Toby is a man and therefore directly to blame for what is happening. This all has the effect of less making us consider what effect U.S foreign policy is having on women in developing nations, and more on what an irrational and unlikeable person C.J is. The slightly Narmy ending where C.J wails that "They beat the women!" doesn't help.
- Lost arguably has many of these...But the most common complaint during its first season is the frustration people had about characters not sharing vital information with each other. This is never explained within or outside the show.
- It has not been explained, and probably never will be explained, why, in Season 2, the Others did not capture Jack, Sawyer, Kate and Locke when they had them surrounded and disarmed in The Hunting Party - only to later offer Michael the following deal: "we will give you Walt and a boat if you bring us Jack, Sawyer, Kate and... Hurley." (They only needed Hurley as a messenger.) This is particularly jarring if you consider that, in The Hunting Party, these facts hold:
- Ben had not been captured yet, so they didn't need Michael to rescue him yet.
- Ben was already aware that he had a tumor and needed Jack.
- House, third season, 'Que Sera, Sera.' When Cameron investigated his apartment early in the episode, there was a saxophone, clean and polished and clearly well-used, lying on the couch, an instrument which the patient could have never been able to play if he had had lung cancer in its final stages. Think about it: Cameron's failure here allowed House to make a final misdiagnosis, which will be fatal, and the writers didn't notice.
- The Christmas episode in Season 4. The little girl knows that her mom, when having sex, "used to like being on top, but now she likes to be on her stomach." Okay, so their policy was to keep no secrets from each other, but seriously! Is there no such thing as privacy in that household?
- Yeah, that was creepy, wasn't it? But not as bad as the girl from 'Sex Kills' reminding her dad that he should use a condom. EW! That was just wrong!
- 4th episode of the fifth season. Two words: Wilson returning. His reason (that he had fun around House) somehow seems insufficient.
- Cuddy in The Greater Good. Yes, House is a bastard and was responsible for her having to come back to work (Cameron left the deanhood because she didn't think she had the backbone to deal with House). But forcing him to walk up the stairs, installing a trip-wire in his office doorway, and taking his cane away? She has no idea that he's been having more bad pain days lately - but that's no excuse, especially since we've been told over and over that she gave him his job because she felt horribly guilty for having a hand in crippling him in the first place. This sort of thing could've crippled him further, or (in the case of the tripwire) crippled someone else! What she did was petty, dangerous, and immature.
- Kutner committing suicide. The producers and writers, and Kal Penn, were setting themselves up for a no-win situation: they tried to do it without any foreshadowing whatsoever, including no clear immediate cause. It was made worse because, with proper acting, there could have been clear foreshadowing for the viewers. The actor in question was leaving for a political job at the White House, and everyone involved liked the idea that there was no foreshadowing and no answer that anyone could spot, as often happens in real life. Total cop out, even so.
- What's worse, "no foreshadowing" didn't work because of forgotten canon. He was always reckless: he set Greta on fire in 'The Right Stuff', and he electrocuted himself with the defibrillator in 'Mirror Mirror.' Also, the guy in "Mirror, Mirror" picked up on some masochism in him. He was an outcast at school. It's implied that he didn't have a social life or friends the supplementary material doesn't count. He was constantly taken advantage of because of his kind nature; House did it to him countless times, most notably in 'It's A Wonderful Lie,' and Taub did it in 'Locked In.' He had his parents murdered in cold blood right in front of him when he was 6 years old, for God's sake! He also seemed least affected by Amber's death. He just stared blankly at her instead of saying a real goodbye, and he was later shown eating cereal in front of the TV, and there was also a scene somewhere in season 5 when he was discussing suicide with Taub and he said something like, 'Wouldn't you do it if you were burning at the stake and someone handed you a gun?' Though he also claimed that he himself would never do it. <sigh> Ok, there's nothing to concretely say he was depressed (though Wilson didn't seem that way either, and we find out he's on anti-depressants in 'Resignation'), suffering from PTSD, etc.; but it's clear from early on that he was messed up. Seriously, how much did we know about him? He had more mystery to him than Thirteen because he was Out Of Focus so often. Clearly, his cheery exterior was just that; it hid something else. There was something a little off about him.
- It's stated explicitly that nobody suspected that Kutner would kill himself and no one ever noticed anything; yet there were signs. The above list was not comprehensive.
- The last fifteen minutes of "Under My Skin" violate the workings of medicine as previously demonstrated on the show, and also what little dignity Cuddy has. (Possibly Wilson's character as well, because he isn't there.) Fortunately, the producers had an explanation all prepared, which they unveiled at the end of the season finale. But, since we had no indication beforehand that we were looking at a two-parter, many of us were furious for a week or so. And the explanation was a little too explanatory...
- Life On Mars, American vs., "Things to Do in New York City when You're Thinking You're Dead." Or does the equivalent British episode also introduce a paint gun from left field? If it were a literal Deus Ex Machina, it wouldn't be here, but it's played like a step in an unspoken Xanatos Gambit of Sam's.
- Okay, it's explained now, but ouch! The ending of the US version of Life On Mars counts. The finale episode was awesome until the last five minutes, when the writers pull an All Just A Dream (or rather, All Just a Matrix) ending on us and leave it uncertain how much of what we got invested in meant anything. It's full of incredibly lame puns to boot - some of which the characters know are lame. Still, it's a lovely Voodoo Shark because it explains all possible previous Wallbangers.
- The ending of the UK Life On Mars counts as a Wall-Banger when you find out that you're supposed to consider it a happy ending. Should we be happy to see Sam so deluded and unhappy with his life that he would fall to a painful death just so he could get back to a fantasy? Especially since he had spent the last fifteen episodes whining about how he wanted to go home? This is not the way to manage a Friend Or Idol decision.
- Home Improvement, towards the end, when the eldest son has to make a Friend Or Idol Decision between going to college straight out of High School and accepting an offer to play pro soccer in England. Everyone acts as though the former was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and the latter could wait four years. If anything, the opposite is true.
- Seinfeld, "The Dealership". George's candy bar subplot makes no freaking sense. In the first place, all of the peripheral characters in the story are laboring under the impression that Twix candy bars contain coconut. This running gag would make sense if this was a common misconception, but it isn't- not even close. It's just a bunch of characters believing an incorrect fact for no identifiable reason. In the second place, George lets himself get all worked up because he can't seem to get his hands on a Twix. A bit extreme, but believable- he is the Costanza, after all. But then the story jumps completely off the rails when he tries to figure out who took his candy bar by arranging a "candy lineup" consisting of all Twix bars. Um, so when he was just hungry, he can't get a candy bar to save his life, but now that revenge is his goal, he can obtain all the Twix he needs? George would definitely do this, but how is he able to?
- In Century City, there was this episode where the main characters were defending a guy from being sued because he had made a couple's Gattaca Baby gay. More specifically, he kept in the kid's genetic predisposition toward homosexuality despite the couple's desire to have heterosexual kids and lied to them about it. They later find out that he had done this multiple times. His agenda was that, because so many people who use this treatment want grandkids, they typically don't want to have homosexual kids. The lawyers manage to convince the jury that the attempt to remove gay people like this was like genocide, and they also convince the jury that the plaintiffs should be awarded about 1$. Good intentions, supposedly, but there are several factors that seriously undermine the whole premise:
- : He's providing a service; if they're paying for something and he's not intentionally not delivering, then he's scamming people.
- : It's an expensive procedure, and so people who can't afford it can still replenish the homosexual population without his intervention.
- : Why don't the gay people hire surrogate parents or use artificial wombs (provided they exist) to make their own gay babies?
- On All My Children, the writers retconned Erica Kane's abortion (which occurred right after Roe v. Wade) by saying that the ob/gyn who performed the procedure saved the fetus by implanting it in his infertile wife. Who then carried it to term and gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Even putting aside the sheer absurdity of such a procedure being performed in the mid 1970's, it retconned out of existence one of the show's signature and most groundbreaking stories.
- Among many, MANY, examples found on 7th Heaven - one of the most troubling occurs in Season 6 when Mary returns to Glenoak following her banishment to Buffalo, New York. Annie welcomes her back with open arms as "the prodigal daughter," even offering her the apartment above the garage. When Matt, Lucy, Simon and Ruthie all raise the legitimate, reasonable concern that maybe Mary hasn't changed for the better and is taking advantage of Annie's kindness. Annie responds by banishing all four of them to the (unfinished) garage apartment, refusing to care for them at all until they apoligize to her and Mary. It's a week before they do. Keep in mind, both Simon and Ruthie are minors (which makes this a matter for Child Protective Services). Eric does nothing at all to put a halt to this act of child abuse at the hands of his insane wife.
- Friends has multiple examples, but one of the most striking is the 10th seaseon episode with Greg Kinnear as Charlie's ex-boyfriend. Basically, he is in charge of a committee to decide who gets a grant that Ross is applying for, and he attempts to blackmail Ross into breaking up with Charlie (which Ross calls him out on as being "crazy", but which he insists is "romantic"). When Ross tells Charlie about this and the two of them go to confront her ex, she agrees that it is romantic, and proceeds to leave Ross for her crazy ex-boyfriend, and starts kissing him RIGHT IN FRONT OF ROSS! It's particularly bad because Charlie had been built up for several episodes as ideal for Ross; her ex is said to have broken up with her (which he explains as being due to a fear of committing to her); and it leaves Ross with no dignity whatsoever. It strikes one as a completely contrived incident for the sake of leaving Ross free to be conveniently paired with Rachel at the finale. This also falls squarely into What An Idiot territory: one wonders why Ross failed to report what was a clear violation of ethics on the part of Kinnear, especially after losing both the grant and his girlfriend. There probably wasn't anything he could have done about Charlie; but if he'd reported Kinnear's behavior, he could possibly have held onto his grant.
- 'The One with the Shark', where Monica walks in on Chandler masturbating to porn; he jumps up and quickly changes the channel to a shark documentary. Despite seeing how he panicked and jumped, it never occurs to Monica that maybe he changed the channel; she honestly believes he gets off to sharks! Whaaa?
- In the first-season finale of Farscape, the crew of Moya inadvertently allow their mortal enemy Krais to steal Moya's baby spaceship (don't ask), with Aeryn earlier having given him a tour of the ship's interior. Krais has broken his word, killed his second in command despite her obvious and illogical loyalty towards him, and thrown his career in the bin to get revenge on Crichton for killing his brother despite his knowing it was an accident. But they still let him walk around Moya as much as he wants and then act surprised when he screws them over once again.
- No, no: Crais spent most of his first stay onboard Moya in a prison cell or under guard. They were largely surprised because he'd chosen to steal a ship that's not mature enough to go to hyperspace, which is suicidal, considering that the new mortal enemy was patrolling the area in a massive battleship - one of the reasons he had to return to help the crew again in the next episode.
- Yes, it was suicidal, but why is that surprising? This is Crais. Crais already had a history of malicious idiocy, including trying to kill Crichton in circumstances that would end up making Maldis, a being that lives off misery and death, more powerful. Despite there being every likelihood Maldis would kill Crais afterward. They let Crais out of his cell and then stopped even watching what the maniac was doing.
- Several moments in the seventh season of Two Pints of Lager & A Packet of Crisps count as Wall Bangers, including the incredibly forced relationship between Gaz and Janet. These two did indeed sleep together a couple of seasons back, but it was firmly established that it was a one-time thing; they both regretted it immensely afterwards, and they felt nothing romantic for each other - it was purely a moment of lust brought on by the two of them feeling lonely. It is also established that they feel no attraction towards each other afterwards (aside from Gaz being his usual pervy self). It also severely damaged Gaz's relationship with Donna, but they later reconcile after they realise just how much they love each other. The affair is rarely mentioned from that point onward (aside from the whole "who-is-the-father-of-Janet's-baby" dilemma). Until the seventh season, that is. Cue the Wall Banger when, pretty much immediately after the funeral of Jonny, Janet's husband, who is killed off-screen, Gaz and Janet start feeling attracted towards each other again, completely out of the blue. Gaz and Donna get married, but their relationship fizzles out, also pretty much out of the blue, and then Gaz and Janet suddenly realise that they are in love with each other, sleep together again, and, instead of reacting furiously like she did the first time around, Donna just accepts the whole thing. The relationship does work, and is a major plot point (two-thirds of a triangle), once it's forced into existence; but still...
- 2008 revival of Knight Rider. Pilot movie? Not bad. Could've done without the nanites; then again, turning KITT's CPU off disables the nanites. Then the series itself starts ... with the worst misuse of fire ever, capped by a person who inserted the key to an unbreakable code into his own DNA. "Genes don't work that way!!" KITT is armed in this series, but he steadfastly does not use his bevy of guns even when they would be useful. Apparently, having events proceed in a logical fashion is less a concern of the writers as padding out 60 minutes' worth of Shelby Cobra commercial - which is why the show didn't get canceled after four episodes.
- New BBC series of Robin Hood. Specifically, the Series 2 finale. Can you say Character Derailment?
- To be even more specific, the S2 finale is one awful, inexplicable decision after another. Out of nowhere, Marian decides to kill the sheriff in cold blood. Instead of immediately executing her for this, the sheriff drags her along on a covert mission to assassinate the king. Robin travels all the way to the Holy Land for just this one episode, and it only takes him five minutes to get there. King Richard turns out to be a complete imbecile who condemms Robin and his men to exposure in the desert after he takes the word of a shifty-eyed Saracen spy that Robin has come to kill him. Popular guest-star Carter returns only to be killed off in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment. The sheriff shoots the king with an arrow but doesn't make sure the job is done before galloping away. And then…IT happens. A weaponless Marian runs up to Guy and, for no reason at all, starts shouting: "I could never marry you! I love Robin Hood!" Guy responds by running her through with his sword.
- On the DVD commentary, Richard Armitage (who plays Guy) apologises to the audience for the complete stupidity of this episode and reveals that he fought the writers' decision for it to happen.
- There are Wall Bangers galore throughout the third season, culminating in the tenth episode, in which Robin's father (who has never been spoken of before and was presumed dead by both Robin and the audience) drugs both Robin and Guy with blow-darts as all three of them just happen to come across each other in the forest. He then tells the men the story of their past, revealing that he fathered a son with Gisbourne's mother. This infant was called Archer because of an arrowhead-shaped birthmark on his chest and was fostered away in secret. Robin's father is only now revealing himself and this information because Archer is about to be executed in York. He wants them to team up to save him. Why would Gisbourne care about any of this? (Does he look like the sort of fella who'd care about a half-brother?) Why would Robin need Gisbourne's help? And why on earth would Robin agree to team up with the man who brutally murdered his wife? No one knows, least of all the writers.
- In an episode of The Famous Jett Jackson, Jett goes to his first day of school. (He was previously home-schooled because he was a highly-paid television teen actor). Long story short, he makes friends with a guy who used to be the popular kid in school until Jett came. The old popular kid wants Jett out of the way, and so he forms a half-assed revenge scheme. His plan is to frame Jett for stealing Jett's own cell phone, which a teacher had confisticated earlier. Not only is this beyond stupid, but it also works; Jett gets "caught" and is suspended, all before lunch. WTF!?! Even the character questions the sheer idiocy of his crime to his father later, in a montage scene.
- In a late-season episode of M*A*S*H, "The Joker Is Wild," BJ, tired of hearing of the prankster exploits of Trapper, sets Hawkeye up in a major way. Problems abound:
- Trapper was never a solo prankster and was Hawkeye's second banana. And neither of them could have pulled off their greatest stunts without Radar.
- Pierce is undone by the 'joke that is never pulled'. Cool, except it was supposed to be BJ's physical prank that got him. No eggs in helmet, no victory.
- BJ pulled this off with the aid of almost everyone, including his old friend who just happened to visit. Not a solo prank.
- Potter is also in on it. All in good fun, except his Chief Surgeon is now exhausted and has slept out in a field with no cover from shell or sniper fire, protected only against BJ's prank. This, from a man who ripped Pierce those few times he wasn't on the ball for surgery, in a place where, lull or cluster shelling, massive amounts of wounded can arrive at any time.
- Smallville's finale for Season 8. Bangers galore:
- Clark Kent. He attempts to dictate terms to Oliver about what the Justice League of America is; he tries to kick Oliver out for murdering Lex when he's not even a member of the JLA; he tells Chloe off for trying to protect him (though maybe he had reason for that - see below) and abandons her at or after Jimmy's funeral. He also trusts the man who put a kryptonite dart in his shoulder and trusts his coworkers so much that he leaves his TIME-TRAVELING RING ON HIS DESK. He experienced the whole Linda Lake thing, and yet he does this. He also loses his faith in humanity because "a human killed Jimmy," even though Davis isn't human and is barely even Kryptonian in the classic sense.
- Chloe Sullivan. She ends up looking wishy-washy; she's shown to have feelings for Clark, Jimmy and Davis; she eventually settles on doing everything for Clark, caring for and wanting to save Davis, and never having left Jimmy.
- Another wall-banger in this episode was that Chloe, having brought about the death of her husband and the disappearance of her cousin as a direct result of harbouring a serial killer because she had feelings for him — deliberately sabotaged every one of Clark's plans to bring him to justice, claimed that it was for his 'protection' but never explains how, and then claimed when she unleashed Doomsday that it was 'exactly' what Clark wanted. Not only was she not punished at all, and not only did she show no contrition whatsoever, but she allowed Clark to take the blame for the events which she canonically brought about. The premise of this episode included that none of the events in it would have happened if Chloe had died earlier in the season). That was frustrating.
- Davis Bloome. Prior to the finale, he's portrayed as not wanting to kill; he only killed to suppress the Superpowered Evil Side that would kill thousands more. He already exhausted the option of suicide. After being separated from Doomsday, he murders Jimmy in a jealous rage because Chloe lied to him. The actor himself had a problem with the scene, and told the writers so. Doomsday doesn't get away scot-free; the wimpy fight ends with Clark burying Doomsday under the earth, despite the death anvils Clark had been getting and Doomsday's reputation.
- Jimmy Olsen. Or rather, Henry Olsen, as a retcon surpassing even Veritas rears its head. After being on drugs for so long that he steals money in his most recent appearance, he's suddenly fine and well-adjusted. Not only that, but despite his need to steal money and his reconciliation with Chloe not coming until later, he also has enough money, somehow, to buy and pay bills on a beautiful gigantic loft that is somewhat anviliciously referred to as the Watchtower. And he is first killed by Davis and then revealed to be the older brother of the Jimmy Olsen fans recognize in an effort to realign the show with the mythos they've ignored for seven seasons. Never mind that we've never seen this younger brother - his own ex-wife hasn't met him prior to his funeral - and his horrible home life (also shoehorned in last-minute) should have suggested that, at least when he was sober, he wouldn't allow his younger brother to be left alone with his dad.
- Oliver Queen and the Justice League of America. Apparently, the JLA is a-okay with murder; they accept Oliver's murder of Lex without incident. Then they help Oliver trick Clark into coming to rescue Chloe and shoot him with Kryptonite. Then they assumed that they could somehow kill Doomsday with a bow and arrow, super-speed, and a high-pitched scream. Further, Dinah, under the username "Black Canary," sends emails and an audio clip of her voice to Clark at his work computer, which is known to be monitored; it's not immediately apparent what's wrong here, buyt when you remember Dinah's and Clark's professions (famous radio show personality and newspaper reporter, respectively)... While Tess may have known Dinah's identity, others probably did not; and the clip was somewhat loud.
- Lois Lane. While Lois hasn't always been portrayed as exceptionally intelligent, she drops to a new low by chewing Clark out for not searching for Chloe when she herself is also sitting at work. After seeing Clark writing a letter (which she sees for at least an instant), she is in no way suspicious of Clark when he disappears and the Retter Business Bureau calls her to publish his letter. She then puts on a time-traveling ring for no good reason, without knowing to whom it belongs or what it does.
- Tess Mercer. Even though she knows that both Clark and Davis are Kryptonian and have a motive to steal her orb, she questions Lois about the break-in. This could be forgiven because she's seen Lois (or someone she believed to be Lois, but who was Faora) kill a man and use super strength and perhaps speed. But Lois has no motive for stealing the orb, and she certainly displays no great strength or speed in her fight against Tess. Tess also ignores her minion's report that the vault containing the orb was blasted open from the inside.
- Further, the aforementioned fight between Clark and Doomsday that had been teased for the entire season and heralded as the biggest challenge Clark would face by both Jor-El and Rokk lasted under two minutes and was released ahead of time in a Director's Cut. It's no surprise that Smallville was moved to the Friday Night Death Slot for S9.
- Babylon 5. The Lumati. Aliens whose equivalent of a signature in a deal is having sex with the other party. Even if the other party is, you know, of a different species.
- During Desperate Housewives' otherwise fine season finale:
- Lynette's husband wants to go back to university to study Chinese. Lynette disapproves. She gets a phone message from the dean that reschedules Tom's entrance exam for the next day. Instead of deleting it, she takes her husband out to get drunk. When they get home, one of the older sons plays the phone messages...and one of them is the message from the dean. Lynette is devious enough to get her husband drunk, but not smart enough to delete the phone message.
- And then there's Susan, who has had her fair share of wallbanging moments, but her Dethroning Moment of Wallbangery is this: A now-psychotic David Williams tells Susan to get out of the car and says he'll let her son, MJ, go after her. Does she see right through his bluff, grab MJ, and run? Nope. She thinks he's serious. She discovers that he was bluffing just as she is being tied to the telephone pole. And now...*bang* *bang* *bang*
- Spike TV's Deadliest Warrior usually has at least one of these per episode, partly because one weapon is extremely overrated or underrated, partly because the weapons are the only factors that decide the battle, ignoring tactics, physical capabilities, etc. The most annoying one was probably the Mafia vs. Yakuza episode, where everyone made a big deal out of the Mafia guy breaking someone's spine with a baseball bat. The Yakuza guy pointed out that the typical Yakuza would be trained in martial arts and could do that without a weapon. This would seem like smack talk...but they show a clip of him doing just that to a human analogue. Naturally, this was totally ignored when the final battle was calculated. Apparently, because some martial arts moves don't use a weapon, they can't have any effect on the battle.
- The new show on A&E, The Cleaner, features a main character who FORCES people to go into rehab. Problem is that people only get clean when they admit that they have hit rock bottom and are willing to get help. If you apply Fridge Logic, those that the main character "helps" will likely just wind up being tortured by withdrawal symptoms before going back to the drugs.
- It gets worse. The Cleaner is a Reality Show. This is a real person forcing real drug addicts into rehab. There has been speculation that the fella is a Karma Houdini - that is, he's kidnapping people and getting away with it.
- The Cleaner is not a reality show. It is (supposedly) based on a true story, but they're not going around with a camera filming some guy doing this.
- On Wings, Joe the Butt Monkey/Doormat suffers a moment that even his wishy-washy nature can't fully account for. His and Brian's mother returns years after she abandoned them, having finished serving prison time for embezzlement. Brian is mostly just happy to see her; Joe, much less so. She casually ascribes this to Joe being 'tight-cheeked, even in the womb'. Later, Joe calls her out, saying his uptight nature came from having to take care of Brian and their addled father when she left. She responds that she is 'just a lousy mother,' and she is forgiven. So, to review: It is all right to spring up unannounced after two decades, deride a child you abandoned, and then squirm out of being responsible for the thing you derided them for by merely admitting your painfully obvious deficiencies as a parent. Yeah, Joe could stand to man up a degree or two, but the writers forced him to carry an Idiot Ball here.
- On Nickelodeon's show Keenan And Kel, there was an episode where Keenan discovers that Kel has a genuine talent for painting when seeing his work at the local Rec Center - so much that an elderly man requests that Kel take part in an Art Auction at his manor. Keenan, smelling an opportunity to make money, makes Kel paint until the day of the auction. While at the auction, the elderly man comes up to Kel and says that "(he's) always been his favorite artist since he was a child." It's then that Keenan realizes that the old guy is talking about the artist Carl Krimble (Kel's name is Kel Kimble); he then tells that old man that he's made a mistake. Instead of apologizing, the elderly man goes into a fit and accuses Keenan and Kel of scamming him. Everyone then acts like Keenan and Kel were trying to scam the old man. And it's all played for laughs.
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