Wall Bangers: Friends

"So no one told you life was gonna be this way. There's so many plotholes, you'll bang your head all day."

Friends has multiple wallbangers. As stated on the main trope page for Wall Banger, refrain from making Justifying Edits, and if an entry is based on false information just delete it:
  • The tenth season episode "The One With Ross's Grant", featuring Greg Kinnear as Charlie's ex-boyfriend, Benjamin Hobart. Basically, Hobart is in charge of a committee to decide who gets the grant that Ross is applying for. He attempts to blackmail Ross into breaking up with Charlie (Ross calls him out on as being "crazy", but which he insists is "romantic"). When Ross tells Charlie about this and the two of them go to confront her ex, she agrees that it is romantic, and proceeds to kiss Hobart RIGHT IN FRONT OF ROSS! It's particularly bad since Charlie had been built up for several episodes as ideal for Ross. Hobart is said to have broken up with her (which he explains as due to fear of commitment to her); and it leaves Ross with no dignity whatsoever. It strikes one as a completely contrived incident for the sake of leaving Ross free to be conveniently paired with Rachel at the finale. Even if Ross couldn't do anything about Charlie, one wonders why he failed to report what was a clear violation of ethics on Hobart's part, especially after losing both the grant and his girlfriend. Had he reported this, Ross could possibly have held onto his grant, at least.
  • Monica's Flanderization of her neatness and bossiness hits its peak when acting as Phoebe's wedding planner in "The One With Phoebe's Wedding". She is incessantly rude to Phoebe (amongst other people), cuts off the speeches at the rehearsal dinner midway through to fit her entirely arbitrary timetable, and even changes the vegetarian food to ones with meat, which Pheobe, the bride, can't eat. Phoebe, justifiably, fires Monica and decides to organise the wedding herself. Monica attempts to get her job back, but Phoebe rejects, knowing exactly what will happen, and Monica proceeds to delight in Phoebe's struggles. Hell of a way to treat one of your best friends on what's supposed to be the happiest day of her life.
  • 'The One with the Shark', where Monica walks in on Chandler masturbating to porn; he jumps up and quickly changes the channel to a shark documentary. Despite seeing how he panicked and jumped, it never occurs to Monica that maybe he changed the channel; she honestly believes he gets off to sharks?!
  • The on and off saga of Ross and Rachel. Their arguments were initially quite upsetting to watch and very dramatic, especially in "TO The Morning After" when Rachel finds out Ross slept with Chloe, which takes up a considerable amount of the second half of the episode and is very emotionally charged. However, as the series goes on and the shouting matches get more frequent, the viewer becomes more and more compelled to bash their heads together and tell them in no uncertain terms to shut the ''hell'' up. Especially as much of the arguments began to revolve solely on the "we were on a break/no we weren't" stuff, rather than any of the grievances and arguments that led up to the break.
  • Phoebe manages to out-crazy herself and believes that her dead mother returned as a cat. She refuses to return the cat to its rightful owner, an eight year old little girl. When Ross calls her out on this, she gets mad at him for being "intolerant" of her beliefs! The other characters, while they secretly agree with him, do not support him. And, as if Ross wasn't being humiliated enough, he is forced to apologize to the cat.
  • In "The One With the Birth Mother", Chandler and Monica are mistaken for a doctor and a reverend on some adoption forms when she meets the potential mother of her child. Rather than deciding to correct the mistake, like a sane person would, Monica goes into full-blown Jerk Ass mode and decides to fake being a reverend just so she can get the woman's baby. In the end, Chandler brings Monica around and talks the woman into giving them the baby (showing surprising compassion considering his own character) after she understandably storms out on them for lying, but come on.
  • In "The One Where Heckles Dies", Phoebe repeatedly and consistently denies the Theory of Evolution to Ross, who is a doctor of paleontology and a full-time paleontologist. Ross even brings in fossils to prove it to her, instead Phoebe breaks him down and makes him doubt the theory. As a doctor. Of paleontology. A man that spent several years studying fossils to become a doctor. Of paleontology. Now, Phoebe is an oddball cloudcuckoolander and can be forgiven for not believing in evolution (being as you'd learn it in most tenth-grade science classes and Phoebe never went to school), but to actually deny it, thereby denying Ross's entire work, and disallow him from proving it to her, revealing she said she didn't believe just to get a kick out of making him doubt himself, and then gleefully forget all about it? There's also the fact that, Ross's "arrogant scientist" stereotype aside, it should not be that difficult to acknowledge that an accepted theory might be wrong or incomplete. In fact, it's fundamental to understanding how science works.
  • Carol's treatment of Ross through the end of her marriage is a little reprehensible considering she cheated on him while they were still married, but the main Wall Banger in her actions for the first season was when she decided, without consulting the father, that the baby was going to share a last name with her new lover and, most importantly, not with Ross. It's not like Ross was a sperm donor here; he was the father, the baby was conceived while they were still married, and they supposedly loved each other but for the fact that she liked boobies. The fact that he learned the naming decision when they corrected him in his assumption that the child would have Geller for a last name rather than them telling him outright makes it look like they were deliberately trying to cut him out of the decision process.
  • In TOW the Cake, Monica and Chandler want to go away together but Ross and Rachel insist they stay for Emma's birthday party. Isn't that unbelievably thoughtless given Monica and Chandler have recently discovered they can't have children? (And are starting the incredibly stressful adoption process). Clearly they want to get some space to deal with it and 'reconnect emotionally' as Monica put it. (Infertility puts a strain on even the strongest marriages). Did Ross and Rachel not think 'hey, maybe we shouldn't rub the fact that we had a baby without even trying into our best friends faces?' Do R&R even care how painful the party would be for them? Of course not. Especially jarring because despite Ross and Rachel's protests, there's absolutely no need for the party to take place on her actual birthday. What would they have done if her birthday was on a Monday - forced everyone to skip work? They could have just moved the party to Sunday and given Chandler and Monica time to go to Vermont and then come back home in time.
  • Phoebe breaking up with Gary in "TOW the Ball": not so much in that she would dump a guy who'd shoot a bird as the fact that he did it in the first place. He'd been dating Phoebe for long enough to know she's an animal lover (and earlier in the episode, Monica told him she even gets upset when flowers die), and it was unlikely that an otherwise dutiful and conscientious police officer would suddenly fire a gun out of his window for such an arbitrary reason. It was a damn stupid way to engineer the break-up; a five episode relationship that ended in five seconds.
  • In a third season episode, Ross berates the entire fashion industry: "A hundred million people went to see a movie about what I do. I wonder how many people would go see a movie called Jurassic Parka." Okay, so The Devil Wears Prada hadn't come out yet, but is that really how he measures the importance of a career/industry/lecture? Sure, there aren't many movies about fashion, but the fashion industry DECIDES WHAT CLOTHES HE WEARS. Yes, it was in the heat of the moment while insulting Rachel, but the fashion industry isn't just runway models and gossiping about clothes, it determines what styles, colors, and fabrics get used for all of the clothing he goes shopping for. It's not like Ross' job literally involves dinosaurs running around a park either.
  • My respect for Ross declined steadily over the seasons, but I really started to hate him in "The One With the Male Nanny". Basically, Ross and Rachel hire a male nanny named Sandy (played by Freddy Prinze, Jr.). Sandy is an awesome nanny. He's great with Emma, helps around the house (or at least cooks), and is really sweet and personable. Yet, Ross just can't get over having a man take care of his child ("He's too sensitive.") Ross considers himself an educated, intellectual, worldly and modern man, and we're supposed to believe that he can't get over a man taking—excellent—care of his child? It pissed me off. And that wasn't the only thing that ticked me off about the episode. The whole situation with Ross' reaction to Sandy and subsequent admission of discomfort around male sensitivity tiptoed into BLAM Episode territory (even to the point of mentioning details about his childhood that aren't consistent with anything we've seen in the past), since it was never an issue before or after the episode...which essentially reduces the idea of men in non-traditional roles to a large joke. Oh, and one more thing: the vast majority of women can't be penis models for strictly biological reasons, not because society has ruled it non-gender appropriate. I admit that Joey isn't the best source for sound argument, what with all the moo points. Perhaps this female Soldier is extra sensitive to gender role storylines, but even before I joined the service it really bugged me.
  • A throwaway moment where Rachel actually seems to hold Chandler in disdain for knowing the meaning of the word "apothecary." Clearly this basic fact is only something a complete loser would know! The show assumes its viewers are dumb and is afraid to speak above their heads, but further, it actually takes pot shots at anyone with an IQ above 100. Compounding this is the fact that Rachel asks what an apothecary is (rhetorically) and then acts pissy at getting an answer. Did she not expect anyone to know? Was she looking only for confirmation that no one else is better informed than she? It's a dumb moment that represents everything wrong with the anti-intellectualism of the characters.
  • I love pre-marriage Chandler/Monica, but his break up episode with Kathy really rubs me the wrong way. It was a lovely little arc, they were really good together and up until that point she was as sweet and dorky as he was (her speech in the box episode melts me), but in this one she's suddenly doing sex scene plays, he accuses her of cheating based on a really dumb theory and when he finally realizes how stupid it was, it turns out she cheated just because he accused her of it. The show had a big problem with Derailing Love Interests, and the fact the ep ends on a lazy 'on a break' joke says it all.
  • For me, there are two MAJOR Ross/Rachel wallbangers, both of which I'm actually offended by:
    • Their subplot in "The One With Joey's New Girlfriend." That is totally NOT how people behave after any kind of breakup. The writers basically disregarded all the serious, grown-up matters that led to them breaking up and reduced Ross and Rachel to two quabbling middle schoolers for no reason other than to mine a few laughs out of their justifiably strained relationship. One of the few plots in the whole series I just can't bring myself to ever watch again, because it's not only incredibly awful but also downright offensive in the context of Ross and Rachel's relationship.
    • Ross not getting the annulment and then lying to Rachel about it. Honestly, I consider that worse than sleeping with Chloe. Because it didn't just show that Ross was an untrustworthy boyfriend. It showed that he was an untrustworthy person in general. Sleeping with Chloe might've destroyed his relationship with Rachel. But making her think they're still married would've likely destroyed her whole life, since that misunderstand would've eventually gotten her into major legal trouble, etc. But the show just shrugged it off as an "Oh Ross!" moment and didn't even seem to realize the seriousness of what he did.
  • The dog subplot in TOW Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs really rubs me the wrong way, not quite enough to piss me off, but give me a feeling of disgust nonetheless. Chandler reveals an unpopular opinion, and the friends react to him as if he's committed a crime. Wh, what? Do these people not know about the Great Dog/Cat War of 1674? There are quite a few people in the world who don't like dogs, and they seem to be acting as if he's the only person with this opinion. I'm glad they aren't exactly forcing him to like dogs or anything, but the fact that they don't seem to be able to accept him for this makes it just as bad. The following scene isn't much better, either. Chandler says that either the dog goes or he goes, and the friends (as well as his wife) don't take one second to think about it. They don't even go "Aw, come on, Chandler! We didn't mean it!", as if they would actually be perfectly fine exiling him from the apartment until he changed his opinion. Even that little scoff at the end, which I assume was supposed to paint him as the "bad guy" only makes me more sympathetic for him, like he trusted his friends (and his wife, again), only for them to have let him down.
  • In TOW Ross is Fine, there's Chandler and Monica's subplot where they meet with a couple who also adopted. What's the first thing Chandler does? Makes a crack at the couple having problems with being infertile. He immediately shuts up after realizing what he said, but the fact that he thought something like that would be funny to kid about for even a second, especially when it's something he and Monica are going through, still came off like a real dick move.
  • It's a small one, but Pete taking Monica to Italy to buy pizza is truly ridiculous. Regardless of how fast his check-in, take-off etc is, by about the 6th hour of the flight she'd be exhausted, starving, and pretty pissed off. On top of that, by the time they got to Rome, taking into account time zones etc, it'd be about 5am. That's not a romantic date, that's a trainwreck.
  • Ross' Tenure: Are we really supposed to believe that just a few years after going on a forced sabbatical after having a meltdown over a sandwich, Ross gets tenure? Is that even remotely plausible? We have also seen that hes a terrible teacher (dates a student, and later in the seasons, he talks about his bad evaluations), and bad researcher (My last two papers were widely discredited.). Combine that with his tantrum, who would give this person tenure?