There are subjectives, and then there are these. While you may believe a work fits here, and you might be right, people tend to have rather vocal, differing opinions about this subject. Please keep these off of the work's page.
In the hands of a capable director, Wall Bangers are easy to avoid. These films didn't get so lucky.
Examples of Executive Meddling and Fan Dumb are not Wall Bangers. They should be posted on theirown pages.Examples will be highly subjective. Read at your own risk, and if somebody rants about a show you like, please refrain from making Justifying Edits. If they're wrong, just delete it.
When the protagonists' mother is found, she is found to have the virus. However, she is a partially immune carrier. So the medical staff and the army put her in a room, by herself, no armed guards or anything, where anyone can just walk in and contract the virus. That's right, the most lethal virus in the history of mankind with a kill rate of virtually 100% and an incubation period of seconds had ABSOLUTELY NO ONE guarding a carrier to make sure that it didn't escape into the general population.
Because of the failure to quarantine, the virus gets loose. The army executes a procedure called "Code Red" to combat it. If you're thinking that Code Red is "confining everyone to quarters and shooting anyone on the street or in the halls because anyone who doesn't listen to the curfew must be infected," you're using too much of your brain (more than whoever wrote this movie). No, Code Red consists of herding all the healthy civilians, somewhere around 15,000 of them, into enclosed areas, using weak locks to seal the doors, turning off the lights, leaving them unguarded and defenseless, and then having snipers search the streets for the 4 or 5 infected that are running loose. When one of the infected breaks into one of these dark unguarded enclosed areas, it quickly turns one infected person into 500 infected people. Snipers then try to pick out the infected from the healthy as the crowds burst onto the street. This quickly proves to be ineffective. Then they get the order to kill everyone, including people who are actively hiding, surrendering, attempting to evade gunfire, driving cars — things which it is established that the zombies NEVER DO. Eventually they firebomb and gas the entire population, complete with shots of fake remorse from the higher ups in the operation, as though this was something they didn't want to do, but were forced to by circumstance.
The way they kept the woman was only supposed to be extremely temporary; you could see them talk about it clearly for the first time as the guy broke in. Also bear in mind that it was behind unbreakable glass and only accessible to people with very high-level security clearance (which he had as it was necessary for his job). Not really sure what's meant by the "code red" thing, there was absolutely no time to quarantine people properly, they just did what they could.
Temporary or not, you're kind of missing the point here: the woman had a virus that had wiped out an entire country in just under a month. If you had a vial of something that, if even accidentally opened, could wipe out your entire state or country, in days, would you risk leaving it alone and unguarded for even a second? The statement that there was absolutely no security was incorrect, but given the threat level, the fact that only a keycard and a handful of guards down the hall who didn't even pay attention to anything passing them was the only thing keeping literally the most dangerous thing in the world from escaping into the population was idiotic. So far as Code Red: that was the plan that they had set up in advance. The plan was to put everyone in containment, and try to find any infected. If more people got infected, they bomb the entire city. That wasn't some spur of the moment response they came up with that was THE plan, and it was mentioned several times throughout the film. As stated above, the way they did it was stupid, because with all of those people in an enclosed area, as soon as one infected person breaks in, they've just made 500 more infected people. If they had told everyone to go to their rooms, lock their doors, and don't come out until further notice., there's no guarantee that more people wouldn't have been infected, however if one infected person breaks into a studio apartment filled with 3 people, by definition they can't make 500 infected people in a matter of seconds like they did the way they wound up doing it. They could easily track the infected in the streets, lock down any rooms and floors that were necessary, and pick off the infected at their leisure. Idiot Plot explains this better, as really, a whole lot of stupid stuff was done in this movie, and the above statement that this movie was Wall Banger mixed with Shoot the Shaggy Dog forgot to add in Idiot Plot and Idiot Ball.
They had the woman chained to a bed in a secure cell, which you could only get into with maximum security clearance. As soon as they realized she was infected, the soldiers immediately ran over there to execute her. They had about a 30 second window to do it, and there was apparently no reason to hurry. This still doesn't excuse the rest through.
If the soldiers had been ordered to "shoot suspicious targets", they would have had a bit more freedom to rock 'n' roll, but no obligation to slaughter everyone. They could have possibly saved most of the population.
28 Days Later, for that matter. After narrowly escaping execution at the hands of the soldiers, Jim returns to the house for revenge, and to rescue Hannah and Selena from being raped. So why, why, WHY is Jim's first decision upon getting back to the house to shoot the infected Private Mailer's chain, which kept him from entering the house and killing everybody? Didn't Jim remember that the only way for Mailer to get out of the courtyard is through the doorway which leads into the kitchen area of the house? It seems that Jim thought Mailer could help him kill off the soldiers which were holding the women hostage, but did he EVEN CONSIDER that with an infected, rage-filled person running around the house that Mailer could chew off Selena and Hannah's faces before ever killing one soldier? And if Mailer did infect a couple of soldiers, might they not then try to infect the women?
Jim was just a guy going up against a house filled with trained soldiers. Freeing the infected was by no means a guarantee at success, but it leveled the playing field and raised his odds at complete success from utterly impossible to pretty hopeless.
Mailer provided a distraction for Jim. While the rest of the soldiers were dealing with Mailer, Jim would attempt to rescue the women. It's a desperate ploy, but it's all he's got at this point.
While it can be handwaved under Rule of Cool and Rule of Scary, many aspects of the biological functions of the titular aliens can cause one to bash their cranium against the nearest vertical surface. Among them is how the aliens are able to assimilate the DNA of other species. Genes don't work that way.
Likewise, what happens when the aliens wipe out most (if not all) other living things in the area? Do they just die (If they're bioweapons, this would make sense but also raises more questions)? If not, how would they survive otherwise? Aliens shows them having wiped out (nearly) all the other humans on a colony planet, yet they haven't seemed to resort to cannibalism for survival. Considering their insectoid behavior, this is rather jarring (To elaborate, try to imagine what would happen if you were to isolate a colony of ants in an area with an extremely limited food supply and what would happen if that food were to run out).
A special feature on the Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem DVD tries (key word being "tries") to explain some of the more biologically unsound aspects of the titular monsters. But, these end up raising even more problems, including:
Some Alien tie-in fiction has put forth a theory that the acid is not actually blood, but a separate liquid which is only located in the xenomorph body between layers of skin.
Which would be a fantastic explanation if Alien Resurrection hadn't given clone Ripley red blood that could burn through metal.
It's explained that the aliens being able to "assimilate" the DNA of other species is no different to how parasitic organisms can adapt to different hosts when necessary and that viruses can assimilate the DNA of their hosts. First, adapting to a different host would take several generations to occur (Even via parasites of multi-species hosts). Second, there's a huge difference between a virus (which technically isn't even alive) and a complex organism.
One part of the special states that the Xenomorphs have both an exoskeleton and an endoskeleton. Ok, weird, but not too farfetched. But, then it's stated that the upper part of the body is an exoskeleton and the lower part of the body is an endoskeleton. Not only is this biologically improbable, it's also false since the film Predator 2 has that (in)famous scene that clearly shows an alien skull.
Another head-on-hard-surface inducing moment from the aforementioned special is that the filmmakers involved kept saying that the titular Aliens were rather stupid and had the IQ compared to that of a dog. Not only are many breeds of dog rather smart in real life, but one of the aspects of the Xenomorphs is that they are surprisingly clever (It would be better to compare their intelligence to that of a monkey or some of the more intelligent species of bird rather than a dog).
In what is still considered the most controversial plot twist in the Alien series, the chain of events that startedAlien 3. An egg containing a facehugger was somehow laid by the Alien Queen during the events of the previous film. This raises a number of questions about xeno(morph)biology and series continuity:
How does an egg get laid upside down?
Why did the egg open by itself when eggs were clearly shown to react only to outside movement in the first two films?
How did the facehugger know how to get all the way from the cargo bay to the cryopods?
How can a creature that is bleeding just a little acidic blood cause a big enough fire to evacuate the entire ship?
Didn't the queen detach from her egg sac, which was mostly destroyed by Ripley, before going to the ship? How did she lay it?
Most important: How did Ripley miss the egg in the first place?
Even worse, official sources have tried to clarify this scene over the years, with wildly varying explanations that cause even more problems. The Alien Anthology's Blu-Ray menu for this movie has a schematic that shows the egg is located in the dropship landing strut (even though the location where it hatches looks nothing like a landing strut, and has the ship name emblazoned above what looks to be a girder). Aliens Colonial Marines puts the location of the egg as being in the cryopod chamber (despite the fact, again, that the location in the film looks nothing like where it is in the game - stuck up near the corner of a wall).
The Queen gives birth to another human-alien hybrid who thinks Ripley's its mother.
To further elaborate, the Queen develops an artificial uterus/womb of sorts due to having Ripley's DNA within her. Weird, but OK. Then, she gives birth to a human-sized alien-human hybrid (Known as the "Newborn" by the fandom). A bit unbelievable, but still fine. But, then, for no reason whatsoever, it pretty much punches the face off of the Queen and imprints Ripley as its mother. How...just...How? It doesn't make any biological or practical sense. Yes, some species do imprint on something other than their own species as their parents because that's the first thing they saw. The first thing the Newborn saw, however, was the QUEEN. Notice a problem?
The conclusion. The bullet proof, everything proof, alien is sucked through a one inch hole into space! Air pressure at sea level on earth is a little under fifteen pounds per square inch. In a space ship it would be less since nitrogen is dispensed with (only the oxygen is important), so that hole would have the suction force of a good vacuum cleaner. Even better, since we already seen that Aliens are resistant to Explosive Decompression. But Hybrid is somehow blown into space...
The space station. Conducting bio-warfare experiments on a deep space platform makes perfect sense. It is isolated and there is no danger of anything escaping. Having that station programmed to return to Earth if there has been a malfunction does not, since that brings the biological weapons right where they're not wanted.
In an age where you still need to go to cryosleep to get to mining jobs, this black-ops military experiment ship is just a few hours away from Earth!
Another head-on-wall inducing problem with the Newborn is the same problem with the Cloverfield monster mentioned below. The monster is a baby. Ok, first, since when are Chestbursters (which is what the Newborn essentially is) that big? Second, why is it a fully developed adult humanoid thing instead of a fetus monster? Third, how big would the adult be? Yes, the original script did mention a horrifying mutated monster, but that's the thing. The original concept was a horrifying mutation of the Alien species, not some weird schizophrenic human/alien hybrid.
Likewise, a deleted scene in Alien shows that the Chestbursters eat a lot of food due to their high metabolism so they can develop quickly into adults. The Newborn is about the size of an adult human being. It's metabolism would've been improbably (if not impossibly) high for it to be able to not only grow into an adult, but for it to function at all. In other words, the Newborn should've starved to death only a few hours (if not shorter) after it was born.
Janek walking off to have sex with Vickers, and leaving the comm station unmanned while Fifield and Milburn are still stranded and wandering around an alien structure full of biological agents (which had already been established as killing the beings that originally inhabited the ship). Sure, no man would pass up the opportunity to sleep with Charlize Theron, but did he really have to walk out without letting Pavel or Chance take watch? And, better yet, leave Milburn and Fifield to wander around instead of just directing them to the exit and telling them to stay right there?
When Milburn and Fifield are camping out in the urn room, a creature that looks like a chestburster emerges from the black liquid and rises up in front of them. Both men are understandably freaked out, but Milburn decides it would be a great idea to start petting it, instead of running the other way and not looking back. This leads to the creature breaking Milburn's arm and eventually killing him, while Fifield falls into a pool of the liquid and has his helmet melt into his face. This is after both of them proved to be Genre Savvy by bugging out at the first sign of trouble.
The autodoc only being programmed for use by male patients. The notion of it being calibrated that way is foreshadowing of Weyland's presence onboard the ship, but male and female patients aren't that different biologically, and there was no real reason why it was programmed like that except to hint at a plot twist.
When your abdominal muscles have just been horizontally severed and superficially rejoined with staples shot in though the skin, you're not going even to be able to SIT UP for a long, LONG time, let alone go all Action Girl for the remainder of the third reel.
Vickers and Shaw running in a straight line away from the falling Engineer ship instead of off to the side. Shaw only realizes she can do this because she falls down and decides to start rolling sideways - Vickers has no excuse. Plus, this scene takes place afterVickers narrowly escapes the destruction of the Prometheus and lands on the planet.
The main character, being a sort of diplomat between the humans and the Na'vi who then joins the Na'vi for real, is told by his human bosses that if he can't get the Na'vi to move in three months, the army's going to have to use force. So, just to be clear - it would be in the best interests of both his Na'vi friends and his human bosses to try and strike a deal with the Na'vi people, or at the very least, warn them. Instead, for no reason, he just spends the entire time hanging out with the other Na'vi, enjoying the lush planet and his new athletic body, without ever telling anyone they have to move or die. Then, when the three month deadline is up, he pleads for the humans to hold off the attack. They tell him he has one night to try and evacuate the Na'vi before they come in using force. So, you'd think he'd tell the Na'vi now, right? Wrong. He spends the night fucking the leader's daughter under a sacred tree, never mentioning what's going to happen the following day. Then he gets all angry when it actually does. Nor does he ever apologize to the Na'vi for not only being an agent of their enemies but giving them about an hour's warning when he could have given them three months'.
The hero says of Earth "there's nothing green there anymore". He seems to have forgotten that he fought in Venezuela, which was described earlier as "some mean bush."
That could just be a figure of speech. They tend to die out fairly slowly even if the circumstances that spawned them are no longer pertinent.
Except that Quaritch himself mentions having been involved in jungle combat back on earth, which apparently is still wild and dangerous enough that he felt prepared for Pandora, which turned out to be more vicious.
Grace's guide about Pandora, which Jake shows in one scene and which he already had back on Earth is clearly a huge chunk of good old paper and is treated as disposable as modern books of this kind. Clearly implying paper to still be in use and apparently in large enough supply to be disposable. Likewise the coffin Jake's brother is cremated in is made from cardboard again showing paper to be still widespread enough to be used cheaply.
Batman And Robin
Batman & Robin caused such a huge backlash because of its campiness and disrespect for its source material that people exaggerate its lack of quality. But there are points:
There's also the decision to make Barbara Alfred's niece fresh off the plane from England (as opposed to Jim Gordon's niece or daughter). The problem? Alicia Silverstone didn't use any kind of British accent. No explanation is given. If her character was in Gotham City long enough to pick up an American accent — which wouldn't match her story — then the great detective would have known something was awry.
Ivy gets the shaft again. When fighting Batgirl, she pulls out a knife. She then looks at her reflection in the knife and fixes her hair, which gives Barbara an opportunity to kick her into Ivy's throne, which has then become a man-eating Venus flytrap. What?
Bane is legendarily one of the only villains who has ever scored a serious victory against Batman. Instead of putting Schwarzennegger in the spot, they reduced the character to Dumb Muscleand shoehorned other villains in.
In fact, the film's only redeeming feature is that it kept Mr. Freeze's tragic origin.
Why are high school students allowed to play around with chemicals powerful enough to create small fireworks displays without the supervision of a teacher?
Why does Yasmin have an entire mariachi band living in her house?
Why does the head cheerleader feel the need to wear a tiara?
If Cloe's family is poor, then where does she get the money for all her clothes and the brand new moped that she rides to school? She doesn't have a job.
If Dylan is deaf, then why does he use sign language in only two scenes? More to the point, how can he speak without an accent?
Why didn't Yasmin just tell her friends that Meredith was blackmailing her instead of giving them the cold shoulder?
Why does the entire student body bother with listening to Meredith? Would you listen to some girl, even the principal's daughter, tell you on your first day of school who you can talk to and where you have to sit during lunch?
Sadly, many people would if she were perceived as high-up on the social totem pole. See Mean Girls.
Mean Girls was not a documentary; check the disclaimer at the end of the credits. The wallbanger isn't that some people let her push them around, it's that they all do.
If Yasmin's family is supposed to be Mexican, then why is their Spanish broken?
The Core has a scene in Rome where lightning chases people down the middle of a city street.
The premise. If the Earth's magnetic field fails — and it has many times in Earth's history and will do it again in the near future when it changes polarity — then the atmosphere would ionise through solar winds grating on it and create a new magnetic field, which would protect the Earth from further solar winds and similar things. That whole mission was unnecessary.
The writers thinking that a mass email would be taken seriously.
Considering people forward chain emails to this day, and that various news outlets the world over thought Jeff Goldblum died after falling off of a cliff in New Zealand — word of which originally came from Twitter — that idea isn't unrealistic.
At one point, a protagonist asks why drilling down through the earth's crust would be any more difficult than space travel; a scientist replies, "Because space is empty." Er, no. No, it isn't.
The destruction of the Colosseum by lightning. It's made of marble and concrete, neither of which conduct electricity.
The lightning never produces thunder, only static.
The lighting uses a computer to redirect the entire U.S. power supply to Coney Island.
Some of the character deaths — most notably, Serge's death was pointless and could have been avoided.
Dawn of the Dead remake
The survivors want to leave their safe, fully-stocked mall - which would have canned food, supplies, medical kits, radios, everything they could possibly need - to go to an island in Lake Michigan. They do not know if Steve's boat is still in the marina, if the island exists, if the island is uninfected, if they could even survive on the island, or if they're capable of driving across the city through thousands of zombies. They try anyway. Why? According to the nurse, "I don't wanna die here." Yes, they're leaving a perfect place to survive because the zombies freak them out. The island does exist, but this plan was shown to be flawed...
They all nearly die on the boat because they run out of water and gas. They have hardly any idea how to use a boat. If they had stayed in the mall, then they all could have survived a lot longer. Nice one, morons.
The mall was compromised by some bad decisions. To be fair, the survivors were acutely aware that they couldn't stay in the mall forever, hence their preparations for leaving. Rushing out to rescue one Too Dumb to Live survivor, perhaps. Trusting the Jerkass to keep watch on a critical door that kept the mall secure...
It stated in the commentary and effects featurette that the zombies were demonstrably falling apart. The longer the people remained in the mall, the more the zombies began to collapse on themselves. Before the attempt to reach Andy's gun shop, there hadn't been any security breaches in the mall proper; the only zombies they had to mop up were stragglers in the mall at the start of the incident. Why breach this security because you're disturbed by something that's over? The mall seemed to be well-stocked with food and supplies; why leave this when clearly you're leaving whatever necessities you need and already have in hopes that you'll find somewhere without zombies, without any proof? If the zombies are falling apart, then that is foolhardy; you could just wait till they fall apart completely and then strike out looking for somewhere else.
The scene with the blonde chick, Nicole, and the dog, "Chips". The dog gets out of the mall and proceeds to wander around in the crowd of zombies, who take no notice of it because, apparently, these zombies only attack living humans, as opposed to all living creatures. Chips is not in danger. But Nicole, Chips's adopted owner, steals the getaway truck, crashes it into the gunshop opposite, and has to be rescued by the awesome chess-playing gunshop-owner — who is zombified as a result. Nice going, moron.
They released the dog because they strapped foodpacks onto the dog in order to feed the starving gunshop-owner, Andy. Nicole flips out because the zombies enter the gunshop the same way the dog does.
She goes alone, with no plan and no weapon.
Andy is stuck in his weapon store, which is undoubtedly chock-full of weapons and ammunition. We've seen that he's a skilled marksman. Using his skills and supplies, he should be able to if not get rid of all the zombies in the city, then at least considerably trim down their numbers. Why didn't they try to do that, instead of a game of chess and Kill Waldo?
This is addressed in a bonus feature on the DVD. Andy mentions attempting to kill all the zombies that gathered but "for every one that died, two more showed up, like that hobbit dragon thing.
The Day After Tomorrow
The Day After Tomorrow contains several moments. It never occurs to the survivors in the library that "maybe that tanker floating outside has supplies we can use" until after one of them gets sick! Also, captive-raised wolves crave human flesh...but only freshly killed human meat. Real Life wolves are smart enough to realize that "Frozen corpses all around" translates to "All You Can Eat Buffet!" And then there's running away from cold. They outran a wave of extreme cold and threw more books on the fireplace so that it wouldn't instantly freeze them to death.
Burning books for warmth when they are surrounded by wooden tables, wooden chairs, wooden bookshelves, etc. Books are horrible fuel for a lasting fire; they burn well, but they burn out in a couple of minutes tops.
They stacked the to-be-burned books directly in front of the fireplace, between themselves and the fire. That's just dumb — it blocks the heat flow, and if the fire leapt forward (as real ones occasionally try), it would've set the room on fire.
We also have the kids looking for a working telephone (and finding it!) and almost completely submerging themselves in water that must be just above freezing with absolutely no ill effects. A continuity error has them all dry one scene later in the exact same clothes. They swam around in near-freezing water and then walked around in sopping wet clothing and yet did not freeze to death.
The space station crewmember who at the end said "Wow, the air is so clean!" or something to that effect. Someone should have immediately dope slapped the dipshit, or better yet, tossed his ass out the nearest airlock.
I think my first thought would be "How on earth do we get back there? HUSTON, WHERE ARE YOU?!"
Die Hard films
Die Hard 2: Die Harder has too many errors regarding airplanes to list here. A random example: The inability of the planes to just go to their alternate landing field. Every commercial flight must have in its flight plan an alternate airport it can land at if needed. There was attempted justification with extremely poor weather conditions, but it still didn't work: Baltimore-Washington International is so close to Dulles Airport (where the film's set) that the controllers would certainly realize that something was amiss and take action.
And Washington National, Leesburg Executive and Manassas Regional, and military airfields at Ft. Belvoir, Quantico Marine Corps Base, and Andrews Air Force Base. Finding a runway for an emergency diversion from Dulles is not difficult.
An average jet can still glide up to 150 kilometres without working engines.
Weren't these 'wallbangers' deliberate to avoid creating security holes in real world airports?
Some of them no doubt were. The alternate airport problem, however, isn't.
Die Hard 2 also has the ceramic Glock. No such firearm has ever existed, nor can it exist unless someone invents a springy ceramic small enough to fit into a pistol. This is absurd, and yet it led to real-life misconceptions among lawmakers afraid ceramic guns would flood airports.
Technically, you can use an organic filler in concrete to form a pseudo-ceramic (and still metal-detector-proof) spring, but right now they are at least the size of a car's strut springs. Carbon fiber strips might be able to handle the torque stress... but no guarantees. Oh, and the film was made and set in the early 1990s.
Live Free or Die Hard is one big wallbanger if you know anything about networks and security.
Never mind that! One character is frantically hitting the numpad only to code!
If you know ANYTHING about computers, then that movie is wallbangeriffic. They might as well have given the villain a wand and had him do magick because he wasn't a hacker — he was a fucking WIZARD! Call it 'Die Hard MeetsHarry Potter'!
Example of this villain's wizardry: This fella designed the secret computer to download all the financial info in America (itself a mind-boggling task) when the Internet goes down. How?! With what?
Actually, the only thing CG in the scene where the helicopter gets taken down are it's rotor blades. They threw a real car at it. Same with the scene where John and Matt hide between two cars to avoid a flying one, THEY are digitally inserted into the scene. As for the jet thing...well it looked awesome, right?
Final Destination films
In one scene of Final Destination 2, Clear explains that Alex Browning died by a falling brick. A falling brick. The guy narrowly avoided explosions, electricity, and an oncoming train, for goodness sakes!
Nowhere is it explained how the main protagonist gets the vision(s) of death that kicks off each movie. Usually in fiction, when someone gets a vision of their death out of the blue, it's a sign that they're meant to Screw Destiny and prevent that death from happening (see Early Edition for a prime example). So why is the Grim Reaper being such a spaz over it? Yeah, there's the whole thing with Balancing Death's Books, but what's the point if some cosmic force is trying to unbalance them on purpose? Either Death has no idea that a higher being is trying to screw with his kills, or he is the source of the visions and is just being a dick about it.
In all of the movies, it's established that if you were saved from death by the main protagonist's vision, then you will die unless you "cheat Death" - usually by injecting yourself with a suicide syringe and having your buddy restart your heart shortly afterward. Okay...but in one of the movies, one of the secondary characters tries to take his own life to avoid Death killing him off; he fails, supposedly because Death himself prevents it. What?! First, since Death could prevent someone's suicide, then he can actively interfere with someone's death if he so wishes; so why doesn't he step in and make the "suicide injection" of the protagonist at the end of the movie unrecoverable and truly suicidal? If he just got fooled in the first movie, it would be understandable; but it shouldn't work every single movie. Second, the gun-suicide guy was trying to take his life "out of order" in Death's book, which would be fine if the second movie didn't clearly state that Death had reversed the order of their deaths, which means that Death can change his reaping schedule at a moment's notice. Further proof that he's either messing with the survivors for a laugh or is the most inept Grim Reaper ever devised (even more than the ones from Irregular Webcomic!).
The mortuary scene from the first movie. Setting aside the Wild Mass Guessing that the caretaker could have been Death personified, these kids could have been arrested on the spot for breaking and entering and on suspicion of desecrating the body.
The fourth movie completely kills any logic the franchise had with how "Death's Plan" is supposed to work thanks to one character: Jonathan Grove. he survives the speedway accident, not by avoiding it altogether, but by surviving the incident itself. That's right; he survives being caught in the same accident that the other survivors avoided thanks to the premonition, doing absolutely nothing to try and save himself, not even changing seats. He stayed right where he was, got crushed by falling debris in the same manner he did in the premonition, and survives. In other words, he cheats death by surviving being in the accident that the other survivors avoided entirely. But, of course, since he's a survivor, Death has to kill him in a spectacular way. WHY?! Was Death taking a leak when this guy's time came or something? If he survived independently of the premonition, why have him be killed along with the other survivors, the ones who DID survive due to the premonition?!
You guys missed it: he'd died in the vision because the other characters asked him to change seats. He's the cowboy whose hat was blocking the girls' view, and to be polite, he moved to the base of one of the support columns ... the very one that got smacked by a flying car and triggered the collapse. It's because they'd asked him to move that he got pile-drived into the column, as Death's plan intended. The second time around, he wasn't asked to move because the others were too busy reacting to the lead character's vision, hence he wasn't killed instantly, only injured by the collapse.
If you want a real Wall Banger for the 4th movie, try timing how long the race cars keep smacking into one another on the track. Did the pit crews strip them down so thoroughly for speed that they even took out the brakes?
No mention of 3's stupidity? In the premonition, Kevin's camera falls out of his pocket and wraps around the track. The train hits it, causing it to derail. But after the premonition, Kevin got off. With his camera. So what caused the derailment?
Godzilla makes cars jump in the air with every step as it approaches, but burrows through the subway system unnoticed.
The Army sets a trap with truckloads of fish. When Godzilla comes to eat it, they just gawk. Then their computers fail, so they open fire. Did they lose the script the day before shooting?
They made a semi-realistic-looking monster, no worse than many in modern video games—racing along against a highly unrealistic-looking New York City skyline. If you won't do CGI right in a live-action movie, don't use it!
The scientist guy buys a bunch of home pregnancy tests, tests Godzilla, and then finds out Godzilla is pregnant... and is SHOCKED! So SHOCKED because he thought it was male! Even leaving aside that there is no way a human pregnancy test would work on an egg-laying creature, if he didn't at least suspect it was female and maybe pregnant, why was he using the test on the samples? He then declares Godzilla is still male despite being pregnant.
Godzilla went to Big Applesauce in order to SPAWN! Are you kidding?! This runs completely counter to the spawning behavior of just about any real migratory organism. What's irritating is how geographically unrelated New York is to French Polynesia; there is no logical reason for the monster to choose that site as a breeding ground.
Godzilla shows up for only twenty minutes in its own movie.
Ask ANY Physicist what would happen if an animal of Zilla's size were to run. Go ahead, ask. It would not be pretty — for the animal. To be specific, if Zilla were to trip and fall while running, his/its organs would pretty much explode upon impact (Imagine dropping a water balloon filled with red Kool-Aid to the ground to get a good idea of how it'd look) and kill the poor creature instantly. It's one of the main reasons why large animals like elephants, Sauropods, etc. (for the most part) rarely/never run.
The makers of the remake were trying to make a more "realistic" Godzilla. Guys, when the Japanese version of Godzilla (with all its known scientific inaccuracy) has fewer examples of You Fail BiologyandPhysics Forever, than your version, you've got yourself an Epic Fail! Yes, they tried to make their version more realistic than its predecessor and ended up making it LESS realistic.
The infamous "Napalm Breath" scene. Basically, Devlin and Emmerich decided to remove Godzilla's Thermonuclear Breath because they felt it wasn't realistic. However, there's a scene in the movie in which Zilla breathes/roars at several cars causing them to burst into flame. So, um, how did that happen? Seriously, it's never explained in the film what causes the cars to explode. Ok, Mr. Devlin and Mr. Emmerich, if you're going to remove Godzilla's trademark ability, then you also need to do either one of two things. Either-A.) Give us an explanation as to why Zilla's breath causes the cars to explode or B.) completely remove said scene.
Furthermore, the "Napalm Breath" was added due to the fandom wanting Godzilla to have a breath attack. This would've been fine, if it hadn't of caused the wall-banger above and be one in-and-of itself. It's one thing to add/delete aspects of films (YMMV, of course) due to audience reactions (or the studios' request) to said aspects. But these are usually major changes that impact the film in some significant way. This on the other hand? No. Major. Impact. On. The. Plot.
Zilla's diet consists mainly on fish. Zilla is a mutated marine iguana. Marine iguanas are herbivores. Guess what's wrong with this picture.
Zilla is way too front heavy. In Real Life, it would constantly fall flat on its face.
Don't even try to tell us the whole "Baby Zillas" concept doesn't rip off the raptors from Jurassic Park
Zilla is killed by getting tangled in a suspension bridge and hit with missiles. So much for The Juggernaut we all knew it as.
In M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening, this "happening" is caused by plants releasing an airborne chemical so they can protect themselves from humans. This leads to a handful of moments, including a scene in which the main characters try to outrun the wind.
For all the plants to attack at the same time, it would need to be an organized conspiracy, meaning that plants are sentient. Someone in the movie did say they can talk to each other. Oh, and the explanation given by the scientists in the movie?
"It's an act of nature, and we will never fully understand it."
MythBusters dealt with a theory similar to this. It's called Primary Perception, and it essentially states that all living things are sentient and have some sort of empathic and telepathic link to each other. But they did bust it.
Why would competing species of plants gang up to harm humans? That's like deer and wolves teaming up to attack people.
The plants' gases are evidently triggering a "suicide switch" — or rather, a "switch" that drives humans to commit suicide — within the human nervous system. No such switch exists. If it ever had, then Nature would have gotten rid of it long ago — Nature has had thousands of years to develop things that trigger anything that drives one to self-annihilation.
Why would plants stop at humans? Animals have also caused catastrophic environment damage. They could have taken out the feral rabbits of Australia.
Then there's the Family-Unfriendly Aesop this movie presents. Mother Nature starts brainwashing us into committing increasingly gruesome suicides, and we're the bad guys. Worst. Mother. Ever.
This is an environmentalist movie about the dangers of not caring for our planet, but every single human environment was unrealistically pristine. The protagonists flee from nature through rolling green hills and breathtaking fields. Even in the big cities, everything is verdant and unrealistically clean. Does anybody remember seeing ANY trash on the street in either New York or Paris in this film? Emissions are the environment's biggest enemy, so why did they go to so much trouble portraying people rollerblading and biking everywhere? This is the cleanest environment in a movie about pollution ever made. Granted, the event begins near Central Park and Tuileries Garden, but you'd think they could show some smog or something to drive home why the planet suddenly turns mass-murderer.
The planet is evil, that's why it does it. It's an environmental movie where the environment is a Villain Protagonist. And that makes it a Wallbanger.
The main characters realize that the plants are targeting large groups first. What's the next line, not even a minute later? "Stay in groups!" The plants don't need to remove their survival instincts; there's nothing to remove!
King Kong (2005)
King Kong makes off with Ann in the 2005 remake - in the dead of winter. She's wearingonly a flimsy cocktail gown. And then Kong takes her to the top of the Empire State Building. It should have been more than cold enough to kill her all the way up there - especially after he puts her down.
She should probably have been blown off the rooftop by the wind.
Anne doesn't spend the movie screaming in the remake when she's captured by Kong. Say what you want about women's rights and stereotypical gender-specific roles in movies, but she is too calm by half. Heck, she is assertive with Kong a few times when they're in the jungle together.
Hell, anyone, regardless of gender, would scream and cry and soil themselves if grabbed by a giant primate. Anne, by not having normal human reactions to being captured by a giant gorilla, is obviously a sociopath.
Maybe they didn't want hear to scream so much to avoid her becoming a Damsel Scrappy?
The Lord of the Rings
The Two Towers:
So apparently, kids that haven't hit puberty have a better chance at fighting a bunch of Uruks instead of the women of Rohan who and I quote: "learned a long time ago, those without swords can still die upon them." So the right thing to do is send a bunch of old men and kids with little battle experience up to the wall to die, while the women with the knowledge to fight, just sit on their asses in the caves. Right.
It had been established by Eowyn's comments earlier that Rohan had definite gender roles in their society, and as such it wasn't the 'place' for a woman to do the fighting.
This is Truth in Television. Strictly-defined gender divisions have, historically, resulted in plenty of able-bodied, capable women being forced to sit idly by while old men and little boys go die in battle.
Also, why didn't they send the ones that were in the caves out of the mountain pass while the fight was going on? They could have been out of there by morning! Maybe on their way to somewhere safer?!
In this case, they were counting on the walls to keep the enemy out. When the walls failed, they were fighting a running retreat to the hall where they got ready for their last stand. It's only then that they have the time to discuss a Plan B for the women and children.
How could the traitor secretly enter the Matrix on his own to negotiate with Mr. Smith, when the fact that you are incapable of getting out of the Matrix on your own is a very important part of the movie? (Because this is how the traitor can kill the rest of the crew, once they are in the Matrix and he is outside it.) The scene with the in-Matrix negotiation happens in a vacuum - we are not supposed to think of how he got there.
On the "how did the traitor leave" solution, remember, The Matrix can free people of it's own volition. This is how the "first" survivors managed to create Zion. As for everything else...well yeah, it's an Idiot Plot.
How did the Traitor get in?
He called the Agents on the phone and asked for a meeting. Remember, the on-duty operator can reach the in-Matrix phone system.
On the issue of unmonitored goings on in the Matrix, along with Cypher's dealings, how about Bane? If an operator had watched Smith copying over him, surely he would have forcefully unplugged him and killed him? or at the very least not unjacked him from the Matrix until he knew what was going on?
It seemed like Smith was waiting for the transfer to begin before the copying.
Why would the machines use humans as their energy source, and not, say, pigs? And why would the humans be kept in an artificial world, instead of just be asleep?
Originally, the idea behind humans powering machines was that their brains' processing power would be harvested. Human brains are essentially super computers. Squishy, organic super computers that need oxygen and food to survive. This is why the machines were willing to keep them in their little harvest pods. But for the brains to function at a high enough level to power the machines, they would need to be doing something. So the machines created the matrix which gave the humans something to think about and focus on, thus keeping them sufficiently active. This makes a lot more sense than what we ended up getting and was later an idea used really well in Dollhouse, that Joss Whedon show that no one remembers. So why was this concept changed to the stupid one we got in the movie? Because Warner Brothers didn't think that viewers would be able to comprehend the idea of brains being harvested for processing power.
Of course that still would have begged the question of why the machines would keep humans around at all instead of simply using much more advanced mechanical computers but it would have been a better explanation.
The assumption would be that the machines didn't have more advanced mechanical computers. In other words, there remained something about naturally evolved human brains that the machines had not yet managed to comprehend, reverse engineer, replicate and improve, and this something (most likely involving subconscious processes of some sort) was more effective at whatever task the machines wanted the Matrix to do for them than any other alternative the machines had access to.
Humans require feeding, maintenance, a pod full of machinery, and, apparently, enough computing resources to give them a full simulation of reality. All the humans do in return is convert food into low-grade heat. It would be vastly more efficient (and easier) for the machines to take whatever they're feeding to the humans and use it for biofuel.
A possible answer is that Human bodies are used as batteries, which are not power sources, but power storage devices. The power Machines use comes from the same source as Zionites' power: Morpheus even mentions geothermal energy in the first film. As to why the Matrix was created for the Humans in the first place: from the Architect's speech and the Animatrix some have deduced that the Machines are actually keeping humanity in existence, which at the same time maintaining and patrolling it with brutal force, protecting humans from themselves (I, Robot style).
They're apparently feeding them liquefied dead people (which is another wall banger).
Now, to be fair, they never said that was all they fed the human batteries. Perhaps the machines also turned the entire biomass of the planet into coppertop-food, and the corpses are just a little extra recycling in action.
Silly futuristic robot intelligences can't simply launch a large number of solar panel satellites and microwave the energy down to a ground-based collector?
Or even better, the machines could have just launched themselves into orbit. They could have spent eternity roaming the entire solar system at their leisure. Thousands of sci-fi books deal with this topic and the machines would be much better suited to that environment.
If the artificial Matrix world is kept forever "at the pinnacle of your civilization," as Mr. Smith says - an artificial 1990s, before the war with the machines - then how do they reset it? Because obviously time must be moving forward in the Matrix. And unless you want it to replay the machine war and come to an end, you have to start it over - but you have billions of plugged-in humans to deal with. Mr Smith says that humans went crazy and died in the first Matrix version, an unnatural utopia - imagine how crazy they would go after suddenly finding themselves in reset lives.
The machines can erase and alter the memories of people in the Matrix if they want too. That was part of the deal that Cypher made assuming the machines would have actually honored it. Of course that can bring up more head banging when you ask why they don't just do that with the whole lot of potential trouble makers.
They probably reboot the system every couple of years, repeating a rough decade or so ad infinitum. Which goes a long way towards explaining Agent Smith's cabin fever, as he's forced to perform a Sisyphean task over and over again.
A related wallbanger is why the machines chose the pinnacle of human civilization at all? lets say for example that instead of the 1990's the machines picked the 1790's instead. Neo (and all the other pod people) would have no computer skills whatsoever, no cellphones, no heavy artillery and would have absolutely no knowledge of things like Artificial Intelligence and EMP. Good luck taking on an Agent with a single shot flintlock musket.
a) The machines would lose all those advantages too. b) If you can write letters with quill and parchment, they will function the same way as phones for jacking in/out of the matrix. c) If a skilled resistance fighter can get even an inaccurate musket rifle to fire in the direction of an agent, the agent will have to dodge it. That's still a few more seconds with which to sprint away to safety.
Leaving Maggie, the medical officer, all alone in the infirmary with Bane. Result: her entirely avoidable death. Granted, I'll give most of them a pass on not knowing that Bane was possessed by Smith at the time, but still it was painfully obvious that 1) something was terribly wrong with him and 2) it was more than likely he was the one that set off the EMP, dooming his shipmates. While I'm sure Maggie was the sort who could look out for herself under most circumstances, this was one situation where someone should have been there to watch her back; she would still be alive if there had been.
The Architect making it so ridiculously difficult for the One to reach his room on the hidden floor. Think about it this way: If Neo didn't have friends willing and able enough to attack a power plant at the exact same time that he was trying to storm the building or if he couldn't for some reason get his hands on the Keymaker all human and machine life would end. Why not just do what the Oracle did and set up home in a standard apartment block somewhere? Not to mention that no one decided to call off the Agents meaning that the One or his mission-crucial team might actually have been gunned down during any one of these convoluted steps.
Minority Report: In a World where everything from subway trains to billboards routinely scans the eyes of passersby and automatically reports wanted criminals to proper authorities, one would assume that security in the police headquarters would be up to par. But after the Pre-Crime cop John Anderton has been declared a wanted criminal, nobody reprograms the retinal scanners in police headquarters to revoke his access credentials. This allows him to use his removed eyes (that he kept in a bag) to steal the titular MacGuffin, which puts the entire Pre-Crime program into jeopardy. Granted, that glaring lapse in security may have been a Evil Plan by the Big Bad to murder a nosy inspector without Pre-Crime detecting it. But after Anderton has been captured and incarcerated, his wife uses the same security hole again to bust her husband out of jail.
This assumes that Anderton DID break out. Remember that the jailer told him as he was going under, "It's actually kind of a rush. They say you get visions; that your life flashes before your eyes. That all your dreams come true." Considering it's based on a story by Philip K. Dick, it's amazing more people don't think it's All Just a Dream.
It's unlikely to have been a dream. Before he ever goes to prison, Anderton's mentor is revealed to be the mastermind behind everything without his knowledge. This subplot is resolved at the end of the film, meaning that Anderton would be dreaming of a conflict he did not know about. Aside from that, why would he make a "perfect dream" in which a close friend becomes his enemy and dies?
Dream or not, why didn't the security system require the eye-scanner to check for pupillary response to light? Presumably Anderton wasn't the first guy in history to use a dead eye to try and fool a scan.
Cracked pointed out a massive plot hole. A crime goes unknown because the killer murders someone that was already going to be killed. Since it happened in the same way near the same time, the Cops past it off as an "afterthought." The problem here is that whenever a pre-crime happens a ball with the killer's name on it pops up...
It is stated by one character that these "minority reports" are normally disregarded and destroyed. So it is not inconceivable that the balls appearing along with these visions are treated as part of the flaw and similarly discarded.
Except nowhere in the movie do the echoes or visions of previous murders produce balls with the victim's and killer's name on it. This 'echo' should have produced balls that the real echoes did not. Even if all echoes did produce balls, the ball for the killer would have a different name. How exactly could the techs disregard that?
Perhaps the names only appear when the precogs' vision shows faces. Recordings of visions could be subjected to the same identity-scans as are used throughout the film, but both the attackers in the crucial vision wore masks, meaning only the victim's identity could pop up on a ball.
At the end when they broadcast Agatha's vision it does show his face so it's clear the precogs did know it was him.
Besides, seems like that to trigger the alarm and activate the system, the Hive Mind of the precogs must be working - Agatha's afterthought which moves the plot had no impact, but the murders which end up being "broadcast" by all three precogs do.
Why didn't the Big Bad kill the female precogs' mother outside the area the precogs were watching rather than disguise it as an echo? This would have significantly reduced his chances of being caught and didn't require a convoluted scheme.
There's the possibility that they just were too lazy to reprogram their system to no longer accept Anderson's eyes for access. It seemed to have been the first time someone with access like that had been arrested, he was locked up and in some sort of an induced sleep-like state, and no one probably suspected that his wife thought to hold on to one of his bloody eyeballs. Without any sort of precedent like that, it's not impossible that it slipped their minds.
The central premise of the film is that there is only ONE timeline; whatever the precogs see will inevitably happen. Always. Fletcher gives a speech to that effect. Yet, at the end of the movie, one of the precogs says Anderton "can choose" his own future, and chooses one that contradicts the prediction. No one seems to think that unusual, nor mentions it as a possible problem with the Precrime project.
That's not the premise. The premise is, "Whatever the Precogs see will happen, unless someone intervenes." It's pointed out right from the start that Precrime essentially gives fate the middle finger on a daily basis. Anderton, with his foreknowledge of the crime, is essentially his own intervention.
There's also the very premise that, apparently you can be arrested and imprisoned for life, without trial, because a machine says you were going to kill somebody. In Real Life, even attempted murder doesn't warrant a life sentence. Wouldn't something like that warrant more, rather than fewer, safeguards to prevent abuse?
Isn't that kind of the entire point of the story?
The threat of Precrime "going national". In the film, there are exactly three precogs who were created by accident, and whose range appears to be limited to a few miles radius. There's absolutely no way conceivable that Precrime could "go national" with the facts presented in the film.
Unless there was some sort of secret plan to create more precogs. Considering how the original three got their powers, that would be quite nasty.
Maybe there are a bunch more pre-cogs anyway, but they are all haloed, or possibly in lunatic asylums doped to the eyeballs on "liquid cosh?"
And then goes home to plan a Zany Scheme to catch the guy he just let go! Because apparently Christine thinks beating a guy in a duel fair and square is dishonorable, but what they were planning to do during Don Juan Triumphant was not — it's a Zany Scheme that uses Christine as the bait, no less. Way to protect the girl, Raoul. (Note that in the stage version, said scheme is proposed earlier in the plot, and only employed because no better options present themselves.)
Christine spends years under the impression that her father has been coaching her as a ghost. Fair enough, she's a naive young girl. She tells Meg and Meg dismisses it as her imagination. Again, fair enough, that's reasonable for someone to think. Christine is taken away by the "Angel of Music" (who she still believes to be her father's ghost), sees that he has a mannequin of her in a wedding dress, sees his horribly disfigured face, and is frightened by him. She is apparently missing for long enough that people notice and get upset. Then Christine is sent back and doesn't tell anyone. She stays quiet about it until she thinks Raul is in danger, and even then just tells him some vague stuff about the Phantom. Did it not occur to her that if she told some people what happened, there was a better chance of her being safe from the Phantom? Did it not occur to her that there was something a little odd about her "father's spirit" lusting after her and trying to kidnap her? And why doesn't Meg tell anyone what Christine told her, especially when the Phantom's activities became more apparent? Did she not think anyone would care that her best friend was being contacted by what was possibly the Opera Ghost?
I believe the idea is that Christine is conflicted about her feelings towards the Phantom and/or he still has some influence over her. Sadly, neither Joel Schumacher's direction nor Emmy Rossum's acting communicate this very well. As for Meg...well, she really doesn't have much excuse, especially after she found the secret passageway behind the mirror (which is another Wall Banger in and of itself; how stupid would the Phantom have to be to leave the friggin' thing open in the first place?).
The movie also completely misses the point of Carlotta's character. While she's certainly an example of bombastic, over-the-top operatic excess and most likely not as good vocally as she was at the start of her career, she is by no means a bad singer (in fact, her position indicates the exact opposite). The movie pushes her towards Dreadful Musician territory, having staff members plug their ears with cotton when she performs and showing the opera audience vastly preferring Christine. This undermines the managers' entire reason for backing Carlotta to begin with—they're more business minded than artistic (the Phantom even says as much) so naturally they prefer the popular star who will sell more tickets over the unknown kid from Sweden. If demand for Christine was so high, why wouldn't they accommodate it? The actual voice work only makes this more annoying—Margaret Preece at least sounds like someone who's had a few voice lessons, while Emmy Rossum's thin, immature voice sounds unlikely to carry past the first few rows of the Opera auditorium.
Pirates Of The Caribbean films
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End has an absolutely massive Wall Banger regarding the Davy Jones-Beckett subplot. Fans of the films will remember at the end of Dead Man's Chest, Beckett managed to obtain Jones' heart, which he could then use to blackmail Jones into doing pretty much anything he wanted. Surely then, if you were an Evil Overlord capable of blackmailing a supernatural being with some object, you'd keep this object close to you at all times to ensure no one stole it. Why then did Beckett leave the heart in the stupidest place possible: The Flying Fucking Dutchman?!. Perhaps Beckett somehow knew and was banking on his own stupidity being overtaken by Jones's, who not only didn't smell opportunity until about two-and-a-half hours into the film, but seemed 100% against the idea of having the heart on board the ship. Has Jones completely forgotten he's nigh immortal? And that he has his own army of fish people on the ship who could revolt against the soldiers to get the heart? Of course, this would undo Beckett's status as the Big Bad pretty quickly, but that could easily be avoided if Beckett kept the heart on the ship where he was to keep an eye on it!
Come to think of it, he could have simply submerged the damn ship and drowned all the British troops onboard.
Beckett has to have the heart on hand in order to control Davy Jones. This way if Davy Jones or any of his minions tried to overthrow Beckett, the heart would be right there for them to stab, killing Jones and stopping the rebellion in its tracks.
In fact, this is exactly what almost happens when Jones tries to retake the Dutchman (except with cannons). The only wallbanger is that Jones tried it in the first place.
It is established that the Captain of Flying Dutchman, can only go on land once every ten years. This creates a "heart-breaking" problem for Will and Lizzy, seeing as how he can only visit her once every decade. But wait...why can't she come with him on the ship? It's not as if there is anything stopping her from coming aboard (we see other characters do it all the time, even when they are not permitted).
Not only that, but Even if, for some reason, she couldn't come on board the ship, why not simply wade out into the surf a bit?
There's also that scene where the good guys meet with the bad guys on a tiny island to chat. Jones is able to come because someone put buckets of water on the sand. Funny sight gag, but are you seriously telling me that Will and Elizabeth couldn't have found a way to use a trick like that?
The Dutchman submerges a lot. It seems to need to to go to Davey Jones locker, which is where the souls of the dead were seen. Since Will seems to plan on doing the job, he'd be travelling between worlds often. Easy for undead to survive the constant transport. Not so much for a normal human.
What really bothered me (and left several blood smears on my wall) was that according to the internal mythology of the movie, the Flying Dutchman must have a captain. Ok, fair enough. Where exactly does it state that the Captain must keep his heart in a treasure chest? Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Davy Jones have a heart for the first ten years as captain of the Dutchman? The only reason he cut it out was because his girlfriend stood him up; it had nothing to do with being the captain of the Dutchman. There's no reason that Will had to have his heart cut out too.
After the film was released, one of the writers blogged that since Elizabeth waited for Will, his "curse" was broken and he was no longer bound to the Dutchman. If Will isn't performing his duties, who replaces him? Remember the scene from earlier in the movie with all of those miserable lost souls floating in the sea because they had no one to guide them to the afterlife? That's what would happen if the Dutchman had no captain or a captain who ignored his duties. And according to the story, one becomes the new captain by killing the old one and having his own heart cut out. So Will would end up dead anyway. Not much of a happy ending there. For this reason, a lot of fans refuse to accept this explanation as canon.
Will probably had the power to change some of the rules, particular when it comes to succession. Like, say, he could just name his father as the new captain maybe. Just because it worked one way with Davy Jones doesn't mean it's the only way it could work, and for another thing, Jones was mortal once, so there must have been some mechanism for the process before he came about.
It was also implied in the film that Davey wasn't the first Captain of the Dutchman; Tia even outright says he cut out his own heart, never said this was a requirement to be captain but became one after he did it. When Will took control and Elizabeth fulfilled her role in waiting for Will that 'cured' the Dutchman to whatever state it was before Davey hacked out his heart and whatever method was used to pick captains before Jones was put back into effect.
The killing of the Kraken. Every fucking thing about it. First off, you don't spend a whole movie building up this unstoppable monster to KILL IT OFFSCREEN before the next film begins! It's not only dramatically wrong, it makes no sense in the context of the story. The Kraken is a large part of what makes Davy Jones so powerful, because he can send it anywhere to attack anyone on the ocean and it apparently cannot be stopped. Becket's whole plan is to use Jones to control the seas, so why would he remove one of his primary advantages? Without the Kraken, he gets an unusually powerful ship...but a ship that we've seen can be outran and presumably outgunned. It'd be like gaining control of the U.S. Military and demonstrating your authority by having them destroy all their nukes.
From On Stranger Tides, we've got this little bit of bilge: Barbossa as a privateer for the King of England. If you can't see the problem with that, the bad guys for the second and third movies were part of the British Royal Navy, a part that was very anti-pirate and that he helped bring down. I know he's not as free-spirited as Captain Jack is, but c'mon, this is like a mafia hitman becoming a Secret Service agent after previously helping the mob take down the FBI.
I don't recall the British East India Company equaling the Royal Navy...
Technically no, but both the fictional and real life East India company were sanctioned by the King of England for all British trade in the area and put under protection by the British navy against pirates (which Beckett was assigned to the Company to take care of), so the analogy (and wall banger) is still valid.
Well, he certainly didn't bring them down- though he and the other pirates certainly dealt their activities in the Caribbean a serious blow. Plus, halfway through the film, Barbossa admits he's only a privateer out of convenience; he couldn't care less about the Fountain or the orders of the Crown- he just wants to take revenge on Blackbeard. And true to form, as soon as Blackbeard's dead and his ship's been captured Barbossa cheerfully tears up his Letters of Marque and goes back to being a pirate. And another thing, why is this a problem in the first place? Barbossa's hardly one of the heroes, and even they aren't above playing both sides of the fence.
Something quite similar happened in Captain Blood. Dr. Blood ends up as a slave-prisoner in the Caribbean for refusing to violate his Oath by not treating an outlaw. He becomes a successful pirate, is offered a legit job, and takes it. He returns to piracy hours later, and ends up a Governor by the book's end.
At the beginning of the film, the Spanish learn about the existence of the Fountain of Youth and set out to seek it. When they finally do reach it, the leader of the expedition deems the place a "temple of blasphemy", or something to that effect, and orders his men to trash the place. Not once is it hinted that the Spanish sought out the fountain in order to destroy it, and to make matters worse, they collect the chalices used to perform the life-extending ritual, which they, given their mission, should have destroyed the minute they got their hands on them; had they did that, no one could have reached the fountain, let alone perform the ritual. Instead, the Spanish are nothing more than a Deus ex Machina, making their existence in the story, outside of an admittedly good retrieval scene with Jack and Barbossa getting the chalices back, pointless.
In On Stranger Tides, Jack loses his hat towards the beginning. He makes no attempt to recover it. In fact, he doesn't even say anything about it. At all. This is the same hat that, in Dead Man's Chest, was a major plot point, in that it was totally unlike Jack not to turn the entire ship around to retrieve it when it fell overboard. Then, it was totally logical and expected to go get it, but now it doesn't even warrant a throw-away line?
William Birkin's pointless cameo. In theory, he is one of the scientists who take away Alice and the guy who'll become Nemesis in the second film. But he gets no memorable lines, we never see his face, and his name is never used in the film proper. And the whole "G-Virus" storyline is never used here or in the sequel. What was the point?
Why does the team decide to go down there? Why not wait for a few hours to send the two suspicious individuals back to a nice secret torture chamber before sending a nice robot to look around the place? The idiots in charge know what kind of things were being experimented with in those facilities, but they choose to send a very small team in there without even equipping them in Hazmat suits! In the game, a team of crashed special agents made some sense. Here? Not so much.
We could probably talk about how incompetent the team was, too. The "Zombie Movie Intelligence Test" note The number of seconds between the first time the protagonists encounter a zombie and the first time they shoot it in the head (x) subtracted from 100. (100-x=Profit). says the protagonists got the lowest score ever at -1100. It took 20 minutes for them to try a headshot. As Cracked put it, the team are such awful shots that they increased the number of zombies. One of their many, many, many missed shots hits the controls on a containment unit, which releases even more zombies into an already crowded room.
When Red Queen tells them zombies can only be killed with headshots, Rain is surprised.
Why did they build that under an inhabited city? It would have been easy to build twenty miles out of town with enough security to make sure that nothing ever escaped. Were the idiots trying to ensure that any security mess-ups would result in a worst case scenario?
Alice being able to beat Nemesis in hand-to-hand combat. Yes, THAT Nemesis.
Nemesis is after STARS members, right? So it kills that one guy, and chases Alice. Then, when it loses track of her, it just leaves. It forgets about Jill, another STARS member in Raccoon City. Then again, if it had gone after Jill, she might have been more important than Alice (a full blown GodModeSue in this film). We certainly couldn't have that.
In Extinction, LJ gets bit and infected, but he doesn't tell anyone. He turns just in time to bite one of the other survivors. But he was Genre Savvy enough to survive the previous movie and the five years between the two.
In Extinction, they throw in a Psuedo-Birkin. Instead of turning into "G", he becomes a talking Tyrant with tentacle powers who is defeated by that laser grid from the first movie. This severely annoys those watching who played the game first.
In the previous movie we're explicitly told and shown that the virus has made the world's water dry up...somehow. So how is there an entire ocean and a rather green Alaska in this movie?
It's worse than that. At the end of the previous movie we see a heavy rainstorm over Tokyo long after the world drying up thing was established. That's right: the writers showed us the whole world drying up and then forgot they did it within the same movie!
Albert Wesker is apparently a redeemed good guy now, the President of what remains of the United States, AND he gives Alice her superhuman powers back after he took them in the last film!
In Spider Man 2, Peter walks away from a man being mugged because he was depowered. These muggers were not supervillains! Even if he couldn't intervene personally, he could at least call the cops, or call somebody to scare the thugs away! That's right, kids, helping people is a work for a designated costumed hero only. Everybody else - don't even bother!
The news that after Spidey's retirement crime rate in New York skyrocketed by 75%. Yes, Police Are Useless, but that's ridiculous!
While it is customary for villains to want heroes unmasked, Fridge Logic suggests that, on average, knowing who the hero is under the mask won't add much info. (Supervillains are rarely average these days.) This cheapens the Heartwarming Moment in the train when two boys tell demasked Peter this:
"Don't worry, we won't tell anybody."
What exactly are they not telling? That Spider-Man is a dark-haired young man? Or are they promising not to shout "hey, it's Spider-Man!" if they happened to see Peter in the street?
This was even a joke in an episode of JLU. Luthor had body swapped into the Flash and while standing in the bathroom trying to figure out what his next move would be, he looked into a mirror and provides this gem: "Well, at least I can learn the Flash's secret identity. *unmasks himself* *beat* I have no idea who this is."
Peter's mutation-induced powers leave him after he starts to doubt whether he should be Spider-Man. They return when he decides that he should. Mutations shouldn't work that way. Even in the magical world of Hollywood genetics, it shouldn't.
"Only Spider-Man can stop Octavius now". Uhm, guys, Ock is still a human under the robotic tentacles. And he doesn't wear body armor. You can still shoot him.
How do they deal with a self-contained thermonuclear reactor, basically a tiny star, that threatens to destroy the city? Octavius sinks it.
Norman Osborn goes nuts because of the Psycho Serum. Makes sense. Harry Osborn goes nuts because..."his father lives in him". How was that last managed?
Green Goblin attacking Spider-Man during the building fire. Way to go, Spider-Sense.
Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male is taken to its ludicrous extreme. When does Peter realize what the black suit is doing to him? No, it's not when he tried to kill Sandman with no remorse whatsoever. It's not when he threw a bomb right back at Harry. It's when he accidentally hit MJ when in a fight with someone else.
Green Goblin's costume. He looks more like an action figure than his action figure.
"Yes, he's wearin' that dumb Power Rangers mask, but he's scarier without it on."
Harry's death: pointless. We quite clearly see earlier in the movie that he can call his board back to him when he gets separated it, he had so many options when Venom was heading towards Pete, he could have a) pushed Venom out of the way, or b) called his board back to him and leave Venom without a weapon and most likely use it to kill Venom after that.
Peter's relationship with Mary Jane hits rock bottom when he winds up missing her play after he's forced to make a slight detour catching some criminals after they run over his bike and nearly ram him, which delays him long enough that by the time he gets to the theater the usher won't let him inside. After this, she's angry at him and Peter attempts to make up some half-assed excuse for why it happened without mentioning anything about him being Spider-Man. The only thing is, he actually does have a reasonable excuse because of what happened, so why doesn't he just say it? Even if he choose to ignore catching the crimials, the fact that they demolished his bike more than likely already delayed too much by that point. Why couldn't he just say "I was heading toward your play, but I was in a car accident because some thieves destroyed my motorbike and nearly killed me. I barely got out of the way in time!" It's the truth, and he doesn't even need to worry about avoiding to mention anything Spider-Man related.
Not to mention how she was angry at him, despite knowing better than anyone how shitty Peter's life is.
Early in the film, the crew discover a positronic signature that matches Data's energy signature. Instead of simply getting on a shuttle and going down to the planet (just as they do in every other TNG episode), Picard, Data and Worf elect to use the "Captain's Yacht" (a luxury shuttle) to go down to the surface, and then inexplicably use a land-based vehicle to travel around to each crash site and retrieve B-4's parts. Instead of the alternative (use the yacht to fly to each site and pick up the pieces), the three crewmen (including the Captain) willingly put themselves in danger by driving an unshielded, exposed (to the elements) vehicle with little carrying capacity, and use it to have a chase scene with aliens sporting similar hardware...why?
Because Patrick Stewart likes off-roading. Seriously.
The justification for this appeared to be that B4 had no real mind of his own. Thing is, he did. Sure, he was less advanced than his brother, but he had a level of sentience. And the thing to remember is, by this point in the franchise, he has an emotions chip. On top of that, during TNG, Data fought for his rights as a sentient being to protect his own mind from being erased - in a widely-regarded and well-known episode, no less. You'd think that would've made him more sympathetic.
Calm down. Data copied his memories into B4 but it's not indicated that he overwrote the android's basic personality.
Actually, in the comic book tie-in/prequel to the new film, Data's consciousness is shown to have completely superseded B4. So ya, Data murdered his disabled brother and stole his body.
As Star Destroyer pointed out, they could've just tried using the Shuttlecraft in lieu of the transporter. Not to mention the independent transporters on them. The other ship is almost within spitting distance.
Nemesis takes place after the end of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. The last we heard of Worf, he left DS9, and Starfleet, to take a position as Federation Ambassador to the Klingon Empire. While it makes sense that he's there for Riker's wedding, it makes no sense that for him to act as a Bridge officer. He's a civilian.
It's even worse than this, because at the time the film is going on, the Federation is fighting an increasingly bloody war. A war that is, in fact, so dire that it authorizes fabricating evidence of a Dominion plot and passing bioweapons material to a potential terrorist just to draw the Romulans into the war. Yet they flinch at collecting a resource that could allow them to win the war without a single further soldier dying? Obviously, whoever made the film didn't bother doing even fifteen minutes worth of research on Deep Space Nine.
"without a single soldier dying?" How do you figure? The radiation, even if it can even be collected and utilised outside of the Briar Patch as easily as the Son'a claim, is not going to bring back people on spaceships that have been destroyed in battle, or people whose planets have been captured and their population decimated by the Dominion. This is the real Wall Banger of the movie for me, the way Dougherty (and, as a result, his supporters overestimate how much of a gamechanger the radiation is for the war effort. They have a better chance of saving billions by leaving the planet intact and negotiating for land on another continent.
No one in the Federation respects the Prime Directive in this film. In the end, it doesn't matter, but until then...
There is a romantic subplot between Will Riker and Deanna Troi. Troi kisses him and expresses distaste for his beard. She says she's never kissed him with a beard before...but she already had at least four times in TNG!
The Ba'Ku were supposed to be the good guys. They hoard a whole planet full of this miraculous material for themselves, and when some of their number suggest that they should share it with other races (and there's certainly enough as there's only a few hundred Ba'Ku on the whole planet) their response is to banish them and doom them to slow degradation of their bodies until their faces have to be held in place by staples.
They're not "hoarding" it, and it's not like they're trying to keep other races from colonising the same planet. Picard says that the Son'a could establish their own colony, but Dougherty says that most of them won't have time. Actually, this is a wall-banger considering how fast they seem to work on Picard and the others.
Also, how did a race of Space Amish pacifists manage to put down and drive out a sect of militant, armed, and technologically advanced people? And even if they could somehow do that, how did they prevent the Son'a from just turning right around and landing somewhere else on the planet? The Ba'ku don't have any technology to stop or even DETECT another settlement within EYESIGHT of their town, much less on the other side of the planet!
The scene with Geordi seeing his first sunrise was brilliant, but given that he was born blind the planet wouldn't have regenerated his optic nerve. It doesn't make sense that this would only be a temporary effect.
It's well-known among the fandom that production was against giving Geordi natural eyesight because they thought it would be a slap in the face to do in fiction what can't be done in real-life for real people. But there-in lies the problem. If they knew they couldn't permanently give Geordi natural eyesight, then they shouldn't have bothered sticking fans with another example of Status Quo Is God.
Oh, here's one: Picard balks at the idea of moving a non-indigenous race to another planet for their protection, due to another "species" claiming it for their own. In the Next Generation episode "The Ensigns of Command", he gleefully and obediently does the very thing he balked at in the movie. In fact, the only protest he makes is to the species who claim the planet for themselves, and that's only to give him more time to get the people already there off. Did no one actually watch that episode before making this movie?
Except that, unlike the Son'a and arguably the Federation, the Shelliak had a legal right to the planet, and unlike the Ba'ku, the colonists were Federation citizens, plus Picard did not resort to any kind of deception to remove the colonists.
Except that the "legal" right is granted entirely by the Federation; the people on the planet had no say at all in the treaty signed with the Shelliak. Likewise, the Ba'ku planet is "legally" in Federation space, because that's what Federation law says. Either way, it's legal because the Federation says it is.
The colony was established after the signing of the treaty when the ship crashlanded there. Regardless of how the colonists felt about leaving their home, they were squatters on someone else's land and had to leave under the treaty.
Yet another one. At the beginning, Dougherty says, "The planet is ours (The Federation's), the technology is their's (The Son'a)". Wait... If the Ba'Ku are living inside Federation space, why don't they have any representation or legal rights? Also, we learn that the Son'a manufactured Ketracel White, the substance used to feed and control the Dominion's Jem'Hadar soldiers, the Federation's enemies! Why would they be doing business with the Son'a in the first place?
Which also leads to the problem that whilst the Son'a are allowed to keep at least three Enterpise-E level warships in the area; the Admiral apparently has a single dinky little scout ship that doesn't seem any stronger than a Runabout. Even if they weren't in league with the Dominion but especially as they are there should be at bare minimum a couple of Excelsior class starships in orbit to protect this revolutionary Federation investment in an area of space where no distress call can penetrate.
How about the Ba'ku fear of technology? There is two reasons why it doesn't add up.
The Ba'ku themselves use technology. Sure it's primitive technology, but it still counts as technology. That makes them a bunch of uptight hypocrites who hates modern machines when they used their machines for their work.
The movie seems to use the "Technology is bad" aesop yet it's broken because they are saved multiple times thanks to technology. The woman who was crushed by rocks? Saved by modern medicine. If it wasn't for the phasers, they could have being killed by the Son'a. Hell, like I said before, they use technology to harvest the crops and open a hole in the lake to help the heroes. It's like the writer can't come up with arguments as to why it's bad to have technology when technology itself have made more help then problems.
The power of the Fountain of Youth radiation is incredibly (almost sloppily) inconsistent. Over a span of about three days it regenerates La Forge's eyes, makes Worf go back through puberty, smooths out Picard's face and firms up Troi's boobs. And yet we're later told that it'll take ten years of normal exposure to begin to reverse the condition of the Son'a. This despite the fact that they actually all seem to be in pretty good condition; not a single damn one of them is apparently exhausted, senile, decrepit, deformed, crippled or in pain. If it wasn't for the stretched skin and these so-called dangerous toxins that Ru'Afo is secreting you wouldn't have a clue there was anything wrong with them at all.
According to Worf, Picard had loaded the Captains Yacht with 7 metric tons of ultritium explosives which converts approximately to 15432 pounds or 7000Kg. Now we never see these explosives in action but considering 1.25 pounds of C4 plastic explosive is enough to demolish a truck; Picard is either packing an arsenal of the Federation's crappiest explosives (which makes no sense) or he was literally planning to unleash an improvised WMD. Oh and needless to say one must also wonder how he thought he was going to single-handedly deploy and transport so much explosive (and why he was bringing all the other guns too for that matter) when the Ba'Ku had already point-blank refused to help defend the town. Remember at no point do we see a single able-bodied adult equip a weapon throughout the entire film so they sure as sure stick to that promise.
Star Trek: Generations isn't a bad movie overall, but it does have one moment at the beginning that's a monumental wall banger. The newly commissioned Enterprise-B is docked in Earth orbit, about to take a maiden tour of the solar system, when they receive a distress signal from a nearby ship. Since the Enterprise isn't combat ready, the captain says to relay the message to the nearest starship, to which he's told that they're the only ship in range. Wait a minute... they're the only ship in range of EARTH?!?
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier doesn't even try to justify this. The Enterprise, with her systems in shambles and half her crew on vacation, is dispatched to a hostage situation with galactic implications simply because Kirk is teh awesome. If Starfleet had sent a ship with a functioning transporter, the movie would've been over almost before it began. * BANG* * BANG* * BANG*
All explained with what an admiral said to Kirk:
Kirk: The Enterprise is a disaster! There must be other ships available?"
Admiral: "Other ships, yes, but no experienced captains."
That only explains why they needed Kirk to go, not why they couldn't just get one of those inexperienced Captains to just pick him up to handle negotiations.
And we saw in the original series that Starfleet is hardly reticent to dispatch a VIP with authority to any ship they please. This is the military. They could pick any ship in the Federation, tell the captain "Hi, you're answering to Kirk now," and it would be done.
Happens again in Star Trek: Into Darkness, the final confrontation between the Enterprise and the Vengeance takes place in Earth's orbit, close enough that the two ships are pulled into the atmosphere when their engines fail. Despite this, nobody seems to notice they're there until the Vengeance crashes into San Francisco.
How about the physics failures? Even if the missile had gone to warp in order to reach the star almost instantaneously (which it didn't, but let's assume it did), it would still take many minutes for its effects to become visible from the surface of the planet. And destroying the star would do nothing to the trajectory of the Nexus: The mass of the star is still there even if you explode the star. You can't just get rid of it. And even if you somehow were able to suddenly annihilate the mass of the star, it would still take minutes for the gravity waves to reach the Nexus: The effect would not be immediate, even though in the movie it's shown as an immediate effect.
Guinan says that it is such a happy place, you can never leave. But she got out of it, and so did the Big Bad. Picard only needs about 10 min before he decides to head out, and Kirk leaves with a moderate amount of arm-twisting. What?
The happiest place for Kirk wouldn't be some passive solar house out in rural Montana; it would be the bridge of the fucking Enterprise! He even says, while in the Nexus, that he regrets leaving the Enterprise. They made it look more like Picard yanks Kirk out of a melancholy phase of retirement than out of the happiest of all possible worlds! He should be exploring new worlds, having all kinds of lengthy conversations with Spock and Bones, and boning all manner of green women, not riding a fucking horse through the woods.
In the Nexus, the "reflex" of Guinan (or however they explained her presence there) tells Picard he can go to any place, any time. So he chooses the moment when the stakes were highest and likelihood of success the lowest, with Kirk as his only possible means of assistance? Why doesn't he travel back a week and simply arrest the bad guy? Or why doesn't Kirk travel back to the Enterprise B, find the younger version of Soren and show him how to modify the deflector so that Soren gets pulled into the Nexus when the energy arc hits the ship?
The defeat of the Enterprise-D, at least in the theatrical cut, is a massive wallbanger. The lynchpin to the Klingons' success is being able to get the Enterprise's current shield frequency. That's all well and good. With it they manage to fire a single torpedo and get a direct hit. Then, the Enterprise crew inexplicably fail to change their shield frequencies (which they've done on several past occasions) and promptly get shot down for their stupidity.
Also, since Picard had explicitly stated that the Klingons were no match for the Enterprise, why didn't Riker try the More Dakka approach, i.e. simply unloading the ship's entire magazine of torpedoes and every phaser strip on the ship into the Klingons? Instead, their response is to run away while firing one phaser strip.
Why didn't Picard just go back to the Enterprise beforehand and kick Dr. Soran into the handiest matter-reclamation bin? Or for that matter, why not just go back farther and save his brother and nephew as well? One of the film's messages is about accepting mortality, but seriously, if you had the ability to save someone you love from an untimely death, would you pass it up?
Technically speaking Picard couldn't do a damn thing to Soran before he blew up the Amigosa star as he actually hadn't done anything wrong before this point and the Federation operates an innocent until proven guilty legal system. It is never stated that simply owning Trilithium is illegal. The Wallbanger in this situation comes when you realize that no matter how silly the Nexus may sound his crew would have believed him and whilst simultaneously sending a subspace message to Earth telling his brother Robert to buy a smoke alarm they could have arrived a few days earlier, waited for Soran to launch the probe, shot it down and then arrested him.
Kirk's promotion at the end of the film. While the Status Quo Is God (and it was completely expected that Kirk would become Captain), it's still a bit ridiculous that a 25 year old man can be promoted to Captain of the Federation flagship.
The plan to destroy a supernova with a black hole. Supernovae CREATE black holes in the first place. And if the supernova manages to destroy a planet in another star system then for this plan to work the event horizon of the black hole would have to be several LIGHT YEARS in radius.
Also, how did Spock run out of time? Even if the supernova's shock wave were traveling at the speed of light, the Romulans would have seen it coming years earlier and been able to predict almost precisely when it would hit. Why didn't they evacuate at least?
The Singularity isn't really a black hole. For one thing, it's apparently two-dimensional.
Your average Federation captain knows the "frequencies" to avoid Earth's defenses. That kind of makes sense, giving a ship's captain the ability to not get shot up by your own defense network. However, these same Federation captains, in no less than two separate instances, have flown over to a hostile enemy ship to "negotiate" with the attackers. Captains, with critical information that would allow an attacker to bypass Earth's defenses, going alone, to a superior enemy's ship after being attacked by them. The Narada ends up getting through Earth's perimeter defenses completely unmolested later in the film.
Easily explained by Nero's evil tendencies. He would quickly and remorselessly destroy several Starfleet ships if he didn't get what he wanted. If the captains didn't go over there, it's possible that he would have blown up the ship, then found another one, rinse and repeat. He definitely doesn't have any qualms with blowing up a planet, and it's doubtful an interplanetary vessel (such as the Kelvin or the Enterprise) would receive as much consideration.
Why did Nero need Earth's defense frequencies anyhow? The Narada had just managed to destroy a flotilla of top-line Federation capital ships with no perceivable damage at all. The only reason is that he's either running out of missiles (it is a mining ship after all, and probably doesn't have all that much military hardware), or doesn't want to risk getting rammed again.
He managed to destroy those ships, manned by cadets, by surprise, not Earth's defense fleet all-up.
"Get him off this ship". Ignoring the fact that Federation starships have always had something called a brig, specifically for the purposes of holding prisoners and insubordinate crewman (ideally so they can be court marshaled later) jettisoning Kirk to this ice planet (which as Mr. Plinket points out, does not exist in Star Trek) would have been a death sentence, effectively making the new version of the Spock character we're made to sympathize with, a murderer. Not one character in the film calls him on this. The only way that planet makes sense is if it's not really orbiting the Vulcan, but rather Spock is "seeing" a psychic impression, like if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
To be fair, Spock puts Kirk within walking distance of a Star Fleet base, and provides him with survival equipment. And McCoydoes call him out. And since we know Spock is compromised, of course he makes an illogical decision.
In Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, we learn that the Klingons, the most dominant and proud warriors the Alpha Quadrant has ever known... equip their military vessels with detailed knowledge concerning Earth marine mammals that have been extinct for 200 years. Huh?
Why not? With data storage as cheap and compact as it is now, never mind what it would be like at Star Trek tech levels, it's easier to just include everything than to sort out what is and isn't worth keeping. Also, Kirk & Company had plenty of time to add Federation databases to the information stored in the Klingon systems.
Besides, they never say that Spock is looking at a database. Odds are that he went and Googled it.
Whilst watching the final three Next Generation films keep one wallbanger in mind that'll keep getting funnier the more you actually think about it: Where does the Enterprise E's Chief Tactical Officer go the moment Worf comes on board? all available evidence would point toward Picard just outright reassigning one of his highest ranking senior officers to allow one of his friends to have a station on the bridge. How would he even justify that in-universe? OK there is that throwaway line in First Contact that Picard needs help at Tactical (probably because of his Borg experience) but during Insurrection and Nemesis? Lt Nobody just isn't that well liked apparently.
Word Of God states that the Jedi saw through Amidala and her double's Paper Thin Disguises, but it didn't come across in the film. The "We knew it all along" looks the Jedi were supposed to have at The Reveal looked more like shock, making it look as though they were fooled. This was either caused by faulty direction, faulty acting, or both.
Liam Neesan pulled off a rather smug look at that moment. Ewan Mc Gregor looked more like someone mixed up his order at Burger King.
Padme as a fourteen-year-old queen (democratically elected) with real executive authority. While it is conceivable that someone could have been elected to the office, and there have been cases of monarchs being elected (usually by other nobles), the idea that the human population of a planet would elect someone at the age of fourteen to act as their leader is more ludicrous than Jar Jar Binks.
Padme isn't the only government member. She's basically the five year old child from rule 12 on the Evil Overlord List. Her mistakes and impracticalities would be tempered by advisors and ministers (equally elected, so we may hope). Word Of God says it's tradition for the royalty to be young teenagers, so the government has adapted to fit an impractical idealist head of state.
At the end of the film, Obi-Wan promises to train Anakin, a proposal the Jedi Council reluctantly accepts. Obi-Wan just finished his apprenticeship, so why don't they arrange for a more experienced teacher? Especially considering that Anakin is most powerful in the force and might be the prophesied saviour of the Jedis and destroyer of the Sith. No wonder all hell breaks loose two movies later.
Tradition, and Qui-Gon's dying wish. The council is clearly "watching his career with great interest".
Anakin suddenly recalls that for the past ten to fifteen years, his mother has been a slave in the very asshole of the galaxy, and decides that he should probably maybe kind of do something about it. Even if Anakin (as per the Jedi teachings) was discouraged or forbidden from going to see his mother, there was nothing stopping him from sending someone (another Jedi, Padme, etc.) to check in on her from time to time.
"I killed them all. And not just the men, but the women, and the children." How come slaughtering an entire Tusken Raider village in a blind rage doesn't grant Anakin a one-way ticket to the Dark Side on the spot?
This exchange between Anakin and Padme, said during a battle against an overwhelming enemy and with dozens of dead and dying Jedi around them:
"You call this a diplomatic solution?"
"No, I call it aggressive negotiations."
As pointed out by Mr. Plinkett and Confused Matthew, Padme's rationale for marrying Anakin is wholly unsatisfactory and illogical, given his behaviour throughout the film. Even if the audience is to accept that Padme is young and naive, she has witnessed Anakin (in order) making unnecessarily creepy comments towards her, giving her odd and disconcerting looks, rudely interrupting her during important diplomatic negotiations, begging for her to love him, and admitting to slaughtering an entire village full of Sand Raiders (including women and children). Yet, despite all this, she shows no hesitation towards marrying him, even though the evidence against Anakin being a suitable husband is far more than the evidence supporting it.
Hell, in the novel she turns off the surveillance system in her apartment, even though she knows she's marked for assassination, just so that this gallant knight doesn't peek on her in her sleep.
Padmé's rationale for marrying Anakin makes more sense when you look at her character and her tendency to martyr herself to her causes. The Senate can't help her planet? Then she'll go there and fight the Trade Federation herself or die trying. The Queen asks her to serve as Senator but she doesn't really want to? She'll do it anyway because her people need her. Obi-Wan is in trouble in the middle of a hostile planet? Padmé will gladly go after him. The Trade Federation has tried to personally kill her in the past? She's all for re-opening diplomatic channels with them. She's a woman who has defined her life by duty and putting others before herself (at least until she meets Anakin). And Anakin's focus on her (while obsessive) is entirely refreshing for a young woman who has basically defined herself through her job. He cares about her, not her position as a Queen or Senator, but as Padmé — the kind girl who helped him and took care of him. Anakin's comments and looks unsettle her precisely because she's not used to having that type of attention directed at her (nor so intensely). I think the most important thing to remember, though, is that when she tells Anakin to stop (that they can't be together), he does. After the fireplace scene, when she tells him they can't be together (that she won't let him give up his future for her), he backs off and treats her with a professional distance. He calls her Senator and it is she that initiates every romantic action thereafter. The slaughter of the Tuskens, while terrible, is something she likely believes was due wholly to the horrific circumstances surrounding the death of Anakin's mother. Not to mention that Anakin has saved her people and her life; she wants to believe (and has seen evidence) that he is a good person, willing to sacrifice for others. What the Tusken slaughter does do, though, is demonstrate to her that Anakin needs her as a stabilizing influence in his life. He's lost his mother, gone through some trauma, committed crimes, but remains devoted to the Republic and is off to fight in the war. It's not at all inconceivable that she would justify being with him as being good both for him and the Republic. And she's already fallen in love with him by the time the slaughter happens, so it would give her an excuse to be with him, to finally have something for herself while not being "selfish" in doing so.
Speaking of which, the whole "Padme assassination attempt" episode is one humongous Wall Banger from start to finish. The assassin's choice of weapon was a few slow moving insects instead of using the explosivesnote which they clearly used at the start of the movie with a drone to make a quick moving bomb. Once the insects were released the droid simply hovered nearby instead of immediately leaving. When the droid did leave it went straight back to the person who sent it instead of heading off for some place to self destruct and destroy evidence. Lastly, apparently all the security a political heavyweight who was marked for assassination deserved was an easily cut window and a security camera.
And of course, when Padme is supposed to be in hiding in Naboo, she frolics with Anakin in the wide open field where even an average sniper could easily take her out. And why in the world did the Jedi Council think that no one would look for Padme in her home world, let alone her old palace. Gah!
Jango would've never thought she could be that stupid. And hey, it worked!
Senator Palpatine claims the Republic has stood for a thousand years. Obi-Wan claims it has stood for a thousand generations. Considering a generation is thirty years, either Palpatine or Obi Wan is twenty nine thousand years out.
It's possible that Palpatine was referring to the current Republic (compare to how the French say "The Second Republic" or the "Third." They're on number 5 now), while Kenobi was referring to the Republic as an institution stretching back to the original that has existed in one form or another for those 30,000 years.
I suggest you pick up some EU material. This is more or less canon.
Yoda grabbing the Idiot Ball with both hands and jumping off a cliff by effectively telling Anakin not to mourn or even miss his loved ones when they pass away. Seriously, the guy has known Anakin for over ten years. He knows that Anakin has a short temper and a rebellious streak that has gotten him into trouble more than once. He knows that Anakin is apparently very powerful. Was it too much effort to say, "Careful around this you must be, young Skywalker; a self-fulfilling prophecy this may be!" Or did Yoda just feel like being a dick for the sake of the plot? Why this is a problem: Yoda's advice is Comically Missing the Point. Anakin comes to him to talk about some visions filled with pain and suffering he had been having lately, not to cry on his shoulder about the death of somebody. If anything, Yoda should have lectured him about the nature of premonitions and how they do not always come true, since "difficult to see, always in motion the future is".
Or better yet, just tell the guy: "Death, a part of life it is. Powerful enough to stop it, no one is, not even the Jedi. Know that the dead are at peace with the Force."
Yoda's not 100% at fault here. While he could've been a bit more sensitive, he had no idea who Anakin was talking about. For all he knew, Anakin was talking about Obi-Wan and was just relying on that for his advice. You'd think Anakin would just grow a pair and confess it all to Yoda right then and there, ridding him of his troubles. That was a golden opportunity that he missed completely!
"Only the Sith deal in absolutes!" Only the Sith?
To make this worse, this statement is said by Obi Wan. Saying that only Sith Lords speak in absolutes is an absolute itself. Therefore, by his own logic, Obi Wan is a Sith Lord.
While this seems mind-numbingly stupid on the surface, it's actually a bit of Fridge Brilliance to show that the Jedi are so super light that they're on the exact same level as the Sith, only on opposite ends of the spectrum: pure light vs. pure darkness, as opposed to something more balanced.
Padme's death. "She's lost the will to live." Apparently, she didn't give a rat's ass about her newborn children. EU material retconned this by saying she died from injuries not discovered when Anakin force choked her (which is only slightly better than the film's explanation), but it still brings the competence of the medical droids into question if she's dying of internal injuries and they conclude that she doesn't care enough to live. The look of pride and joy on her face doesn't help. Likewise, her final words were hardly those of someone who's lost all hope. "There is good in him… I know. I know there is… still…" Yep, totally lost the will to live.
It could be argued that, given the circumstances, Padme had to give birth in a place where decent medical droids were unavailable. However, the explanation given in the EU raises further problems. Firstly, why the hell did no one think to question that the droids didn't know why she was dying? You'd have thought Obi-Wan would've at least asked what that was meant to mean, or maybe suggested they try and find a proper reason. Secondly, how come Padme was able to speak clearly enough to name her children if she had tracheal injuries severe enough to kill her?
It's possible that Padmé may have "willed" herself to die, losing the will to live intentionally in order to protect her children. Fact of the matter is, Anakin had gone completely off the deep end. Padmé knows this — she knows how obsessive he is about her and that he would stop at nothing to find her. What are her choices now? She can't go back to Coruscant, can't go to Naboo, and anyone she hides with would be in danger of discovery. She would have to stay hidden or on the run for the rest of her life (hardly a great environment to raise children in, if she could even keep them). Lucas states in the AOTC deleted scenes commentary that one of the major themes for Padmé's character is that "those who can't adapt die" — Padmé can't adapt. Her role as Senator is essentially over. Her ability to take care of her children and give them a stable home has been destroyed. For example, what would she do if Anakin threatened to attack or kill innocent people unless she showed herself? By dying, though, Padmé could make everyone believe that her children had died with her — giving them the ultimate protection and the ability to live safely in these shadow from the Empire. So she does so. She says it herself in AOTC — she's not afraid to die.
Mace Windu bringing such horrendously incompetent wingmen to arrest the Chancellor. Just, seeing Jedi Masters fall prey to The Worf Effect, it... Ugh.
Speaking of Palpatine and lightsabers, when did he earn his disdain for lightsabers and start calling them "Jedi weapons"? Apparently the Sith use them, and he used them.
Why are Luke and Leia siblings? In the films, the familial relationship didn't...do much other than create Squick in Empire and settle a Love Triangle peacefully.
In The Empire Strikes Back, Yoda says "Always in motion is the future.", the general idea being that Jedi can see possible futures, but these visions are only really reliable within a fairly short period of time... so WHY are the Jedi betting everything on some vague prophecy that might refer to Anakin?
This is actually a case of Fridge Brilliance. The prophecy definitely refers to Anakin, as he's the only being purely conceived by the Force. He is, without a doubt, the Chosen One. The question, however, remained, would the Chosen One fulfill the rest of the prophecy, that is, bring balance to the Force. Since the future is always in motion, the Jedi could not be certain that Anakin would fulfill the prophecy. Along with respecting Qui-Gon Jinn's final wishes, this is the main reason the Jedi decided to ignore their reservations and to train Anakin in the ways of the Force, believing that the prophecy would more likely be fulfilled if he was trained in the ways of the Jedi, with tragic results.
As has been pointed out here before, this is a case where the Jedi should have been aware of Exact Words and Jedi Truth: Before Anakin became Darth Vader, there were hundreds, if not thousands of Jedi, and maybe what, a handful of Sith? The big question that should have been asked by every Jedi was "do we really want the Force balanced when we're on the good end of the stick right now?"
Word of God is that the Dark Side is itself a form of imbalance
Rationalize it or hand wave it any way you like; the fact that the air vent on the Death Star was open is a Titanic level error. No force field, no deflector shield, not even a sodding steel mesh grate. Just a big wide doorway that leads directly into the heart of the ship that is large enough to fire a missile down. And its not even as if the canyon that Luke flies though to reach it is even that well defended seeing how easily he dodges the laser fire; if wasn't for the pursuing Tie Fighters he arguably wouldn't have had any significant obstacles at all.
The vent did have a deflector shield, which is why the Rebels had to use missiles. "The vent is ray-shielded, so you'll have to use proton torpedoes." "What? That's impossible, even for a computer!"
A man called Obi-Wan Kenobi goes into hiding. He goes by the name of Ben Kenobi.*Facepalm*
The people who refused to use surrogates were a small and vocal minority, and they didn't do so because of financial issues (which no one in the film's universe seemed to have, apparently), but because it was morally questionable. These are the same individuals who have no problem with people actually dying, because at least they aren't using the surrogates anymore. There's also the fact that the leader of these terrorists also just happens to be the inventor of surrogates himself, using a surrogate, to preach the evils of using surrogates
Also, as mentioned above, these people (according to the film, the majority of Americans, maybe even the world) have no financial trouble with getting access to Surrogates, which must cost thousands, maybe even millions of dollars each. The main characters of the film are two cops and a hairdresser. This wouldn't be a problem if they talked about loan programs or payment plans, but they don't.
During Terminator 3, the lead female spends most of the early part of the film trapped in the back of a van yelling at the Arnold-Terminator to let her out. Later in the film, he reveals that he's programmed to do everything she tells him! Except, apparently, let her out. He then goes with them to try to stop Judgment Day when he specifically doesn't want to; his sole reason is that she told him to do it and he had to obey. Then he disobeys her orders again by tricking them into being trapped in a bunker when Judgment Day occurs anyway. If he's programmed to obey her orders, why try to stop Skynet's activation? If he isn't, why not force or trick them both to go to the bunker without wasting time at the military base? None of it makes any sense!
It does if you assume that the T-850 was telling a half truth-Future!Kate was the one who gave him his mission, and part of that mission required him to lie to her in the past so that she's there to give him his mission in the future.
It's just about plausible that Skynet would send back two Terminators. However, Skynet in this new timeline is clearly aware they failed, yet would have to have sent them back anyway. Not to mention the "advanced" Terminator going back to the old endoskeleton design for no apparent reason and violating the "you can't bring weapons" rule (the former ultimately causing her defeat; the T-1000 wouldn't have been split in half, would have had nothing to grab, etc, while the on-board weapons were barely used at all) or the ludicrousness of Skynet simultaneously being a virus loose on the internet and not being connected to it at all. The final payoff (Skynet couldn't be destroyed by thousands of EMPs because it was "software" on unshielded home and business PCs) is eight flavours of fucking stupid.
So... Neo Skynet is a distributed computer program operating on millions of computers world wide. The moment Skynet becomes a sapient entity, it immediately launches a nuclear attack. Whaaaaaa?! Why would it DO that? Skynet is no longer the Minsky brain-in-a-jar classical AI from the Cold War; it's a distributed intelligence! It NEEDS all that power and communications infrastructure and equipment to be functional to survive! In the previous movie it made sense since Skynet was housed in a bunker somewhere in total, but here destroying the world communications and power grid would effectively lobotomize it. So, what... was Skynet's immediate action on waking up to try to commit suicide? And then it decides to wipe out humanity (in a fit of emo rage, I guess)? You'd think this version of Skynet would be smarter and just use its absolute control over the entirety of human military, police, financial, and political information to just conquer humanity without anyone being any the wiser.
How about the T-X "hacking" car engine computers to make them move on their own? This has showed in a couple of other movies too, and it's an extremely stupid Critical Research Failure. An engine computer simply monitors performance and reads data from sensors, and even if it could be hacked, you'd need servo motors attached to the mechanically-driven pedals, gear shift and steering wheel to make the car go on its own.
Almost there though, i.e. Parking Assistants for steering, etc
When the T-800 was reprogrammed to try to kill John Connor, he tries to override the programming. Despite the fact that computers cannot work that way, his system configurations apparently engage "make ridiculous faces" mode when trying to override the programming. The main point of the first two movies is that the terminator cannot feel emotion. Even in the big climax of T-2, he simply says that he understands why humans cry, and that he is incapable of it due to not being able to feel emotion. However, he just apparently just decides to have emotions here.
Well, since strong AI doesn't exist in Real Life, we don't know how such a thing would work. However, it's safe to say that the Terminator CPU must be capable of multitasking, so one possible justification would be that he is running both Resistance and Skynet processes simultaneously, and that both are sending control signals to his robot body while trying to overwrite or delete the other. (Google "core wars" for a real-world example of warring system processes.) If multiple control signals are being sent to hardware at the same time, the results would be unpredictable.
Also, the T-2 terminator DOES seem to build some kind of emotions, what with his unprovoked quipping ("I need a vacation") and capability to apologize. He just can't literally cry (make water leak out of his eyes). So, the T-3 version might have built some semblance of emotion as well.
And if the T-850 has psychology installed, he has a better knowledge of emotions than its predecessors.
In Terminator Salvation is it confirmed that Kyle Reese is John Connor's father, Reese is placed at the top of Skynet's "hit list" and has a squadron of Skynet machines sent after him. He is then captured, brought in, identified as Kyle Reese, father of John Connor, and then used as bait to lure Connor into a trap. WHY? He's going to be his father, kill him, you win. You're a fucking super computer, not Dr. pissing Evil.
Or why every single terminator throws the victim into walls. You have the person in your hands. Grab throat. Squeeze. Mission accomplished.
Or as we see is possible in the very first victim of the series. Punch through chest. Mission accomplished.
Now, I'm no doctor, but I'm fairly certain a heart transplant in tent in the middle of a desert isn't a good idea
In the original film, it's established that the only way anything other than living tissue can be sent back in time is if it's surrounded in living tissue. In the second film, the T-1000 (made entirely out of liquid metal, with no living tissue in sight) is sent back. Maybe they improved the time machine?
The metal is "alive" though, and could be enough to trick the time displacement equipment, or you just cover the T-1000 with bacteria, it's alive, and will transport whatever it covers.
Really, it raises more questions than it answers; if they can cloak the T-1000 in something living in order to send it back, they can also wrap up a few Phased Plasma Rifles, or something else in the BFG class, and send it back with it (or within it). Best advice for the whole series is given at the end of the original film: "A person could go crazy thinking about this."
They also don't send any weapons back with the T-1000, despite the fact that he's made of liquid metal and could conceivably conceal just about any weapon short of a tactical nuke of a cruise-missile.
He's made a shapeshifter so that it's not needed to travel with weapons...
Who was John Connor's original father, because he has to be alive to send his Kyle Reese back the first time.
There is a certain amount of Fridge Brilliance here: We will never know who John Connor's original father was but as long as Sarah was impregnated by someone in the original timeline and he took her name instead of his (happens all the time in real life if the man in question was a deadbeat) it would all have worked out the way it is presented. Remember that even in the current timeline Sarah decided upon the use of her own surname implying that she may already have had some kind of belief that the child takes the woman's name not the man's.
The loop works in the first movie, it's just a case of cause following effect; unfortunately, the required inevitability of John sending Reese back to close the loop rather spoils the "the future is not set" message. It's T2 which messes with this by saying it is possible to stop Judgment Day and therefore that John could potentially be alive despite his father never being sent back in time (it's implied in the comics that John knew Kyle Reese was his father even before he sent him back; in T2, John talks about knowing he sent his real father back in time to die). T3 really doesn't fix this by saying Judgment Day could be postponed, since if that's true presumably Reese would be older when he was sent back, not to mention the question of why the new Skynet (now a totally different entity to the late Cold War-designed Cyberdyne Skynet which commanded pilotless stealth bombers) would still do exactly the same things. It's a case of trying to fix a plot hole only to end up widening it into a plot tunnel.
How does a multistory robot sneak up on a band of humans in the middle of a desert? Was nobody watching? Did it just move THAT fast? Was it a Transformer in disguise?
Speaking of emergency heart surgery, I was wracking my brain trying to think of what kind of trauma would result in the need for a transplant without being immediately fatal. If the heart or major blood vessel was punctured, he would have died within seconds. If the heart was scraped but not actually punctured, no transplant would have been necessary. This is why heart transplants are used for heart failure and congestion rather than injury; No trauma patient lives long enough to get a new one.
The whole way that time travel works in this universe makes no sense. The first and second films establish repeatedly that there is no set future, yet Kyle Reese being sent from the future to become John Connor's father negates this. Okay, so maybe they were wrong in the first and second films, and the future is set. After all, they're functioning on the idea that John Connor has to be the leader of the resistance, so maybe they just don't know how the time loop works. Okay, maybe when Reese got sent back in time and knocked up Sarah, she birthed a different person who, with the influence of Kyle, named him John, and raised him to be a "great military leader" since she thought she was supposed to. After all, up till this point, nothing had happened that made the creation of Skynet impossible. But wait, then they blew up Cyberdyne, and Skynet just gets created later Because Destiny Says So. Huh. So apparently, in the terminator universe, the future is set when it's necessary for the plot / for there to be more movies made.
All these problems go away if you assume multiple timelines. Although the films don't explicitly do so, this was canon in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, where Derek and Jesse come from different futures.
The future can be changed, but there's no way for the humans to change it to give themselves a better outcome. Skynet will take over in every possible future Sarah and Kyle can create and they have got humanity in a loop of doing "pretty good". Sending Kyle back to save Sarah and knock her up with John will keep the humans alive and that's about the best they can do. Variations on this time loop can cause things like a delay in judgement day during the next loop but they can also cause humans to be completely wiped out. So potentially, there exists a form of the time loop where they do manage to defeat skynet, they just have not found it yet.
Alternate theory: the future cannot be changed, but the humans are either too dumb to realise it or too optimistic to acknowledge it. The famous "no fate" quote owes its existence to a stable time loop: John told it to Kyle (saying Sarah told it to him), Kyle told it to Sarah (saying John told it to him), Sarah told it to John (saying Kyle told her John told him it). (For this to work you have to ignore everything after the second film, but hey...)
Only the geologist can identify the substance pouring out of the tar pits. The writers think that we don't know lava when we see it? Or that most people in LA wouldn't?
A scientist who needs a thermometer to realize that the pile of debris right next to her is over 700 degrees Fahrenheit. (For reference, that is hotter than the interior of a self-cleaning oven when it's self-cleaning.)
Our protagonist, at one point, has everyone at a certain intersection place concrete highway dividers in an arch to use the lava's own strength against it...and they set up the arch in the wrong direction. It still works.
The scene in the subway. A man is able to move around in a train car so hot that it's melting around him. It should have been so hot that all the survivors he's rescuing would have been incinerated. Then the stupid man stupidly jumps into lava so he can throw the last survivor past it, stupidly remaining conscious and successfully throwing another grown adult clear, and then stupidly melting just like the Wicked Witch of the West. And it was stupid — did we mention that? Especially the ridiculous idea that people use the subway in Los Angeles.
The premise of the film is that, somehow, an incipient volcano could sneak up on Los Angeles, one of the most geologically monitored areas on the planet, simply because there's a subway line under construction.
There's the arbitrary way the mass of the lava is dealt with. Lava is made of stone. The massive wave of lava should have weighed many tons, but it doesn't push a bus out of its way, which a small river of water can do. Then, arbitrarily, the lava has mass again when the barricade is put up.
Chef: Hey, children, everybody! I'm back! I'm back from Aruba! What the-? [Everyone is pretty much in black-face because of the ash-storm.] Okay! Eeeeeehverybody get into line, so I can whup all your asses!
A very small dog barks at lava slowly filling up the living room.
The noticeable lack of toxic and corrosive gases that usually accompany volcanic eruptions. There's no way that anybody would have been alive that close to the mouth of an erupting volcano.
No one seems to be aware that a volcanic eruption in the middle of Los Angeles would almost certainly result in the city being rendered unlivable for an extended period of time. Definitely months...probably years or decades.
Evacuations should have been the priority rather than trying to "fight" the volcano. The idea is suggested and bluntly rejected by our protagonist. Oh, and he heads the film's local FEMA-equivalent.
X-Men: The Last Stand: Storm expresses Moral Outrage that anyone would want to stop being a mutant when talking to a giant blue freak, a man who is constantly forced to cut his flesh open to use some of his powers, and a girl who is unable to touch anyone, including the man she loves, for fear of killing them. At least Beast does call her out on her bullshit.
Aside from the adamantine claws and skeleton, Wolverine's main power is regeneration. His Healing Factor is the entire effing reason that he has a poisonous metal skeleton - without it, he wouldn't have ever been used for the experiment.
Wolverine's original powers involved bone claws as well as the healing, so adamantium or not, he'd still have to rip holes in his hands to shoot out the claws. The Adamantium skeleton and claws just give him increased durability.
Beast does call her out on that by gently reminding her that not every mutant in the room has her advantage of being able to pass as a normal, attractive human.
Halle Berry: I mean, unless you count being covered in bright blue fur, being unable to touch someone, or having mental powers so uncontrollable that you are a danger to the entire world.
One could argue that Storm was outraged that the "Cure" implied that mutants were suffering from some sort of illness. It still was tactless, though.
While Rogue is indeed the best example of any potential good that could come of it, I think Angel's line from Wolverine and the X-Men sums it up nicely:
"I don't need a cure, father! Because this (takes off coat, revealing wings) IS NOT A DISEASE!
This is even more headache inducing in the first film where Professor X explains to Rogue that the "anonymity" is the mutant's best weapon. Well Jeez Professor that's awfully convenient seeing as how everyone on your team looks perfectly normal, worst any of them have to put up with is a pair of goofy glasses, while everyone on Magneto's team would stand out if you say them from across the street. At night. While they were wearing heavy clothing. Seriously how is the 7 foot tall, fanged, furry Sabretooth supposed to "blend?"
What in blazes was the point of Mystique getting herself captured, only to be busted out by Magneto, shot down defending him, and left nude in the truck for all to see?! She basically got Stuffed into the Fridge. What the hell Ratner?!!
To be fair though, Raven did get what could be considered a Crowning Moment of Awesome. She basically ratted out Magneto and his group to the Authorities, giving them secret information on the campsite they were staying at, which eventually led to the capture of Multiple Man.
Uh, not much of a victory, considering Multiple Man was acting as a decoy for the entire camp they'd been hoping to capture.
And in the Novelization, she is one of the few mutants at the very end who appear to slightly be getting their powers back.
Having Jean kill the love of her life accidentally was bad enough, but did she have to do it offscreen? And no one seems to give a damn that Scott's dead afterward.
Really, X2 had this problem as well, killing off people just for the hell of it. Jean Grey's death in X2 was the most idiotic plot device with the thinnest justification ever. Let's see, there's a mountain of water crashing toward the Blackbird, so Jean decides to go outside, stand in the water's path so she can be conveniently killed, and lift the Blackbird to safety. As opposed to everyone getting out of the Blackbird and her lifting them to safety (cause we can always get another Blackbird, but presumably we can't get another Jean Grey), or better yet, everyone stay in the Blackbird and she can lift it from in the plane (something she can do in the comics, but this is the movie so I guess that's anyone's call). Nobody took even 5 seconds to think about this. Idiot Ball anyone?
Considering how in The Last Stand she gets sad/suicidal when feeling Phoenix is taking over, maybe she thought the "overly powerful phase" which manifested a few times through that movie was something to get rid of.
Apparently Jean wasn't even supposed to die in the original script and she lived at the end of the novelization (which was also based on the original script).
Or Bobby could get out and freeze all that water. And then they could fly off at a nice and leisurely pace. Maybe pop a tape into the deck. Play a few rounds of 20 Questions.
Iceman can "build" a wall of ice, sure. But compare the size of that with that incoming surge! Would be pretty hard.
Actually, considering how difficult it should be to instantly freeze the water vapor in the air into a good foot thick or so wall, freezing liquid water should be considerably easier for him.
Freezing the water, sure, but he can't cancel the kinetic force. They're better off being hit by water than ice.
I'm pretty sure Cyclops's eyebeam things can vaporize water. Nightcrawler could teleport them to safety a few at a time. Storm could generate wind to blow the water away from the plane, or she could lift the plane with a tornado, or lower the temperature outside to subzero so the water would freeze. Her death was a suicide, but definitely an unnecessary one.
Cyclops's eyebeams are concussive force, not heat, at least as far as the source material goes. I believe that would preclude any water vaporization.
To be fair: Nightcrawler has difficulty teleporting more than a few yards by himself, saying nothing about carrying passengers, and teleporting multiple people in a short span of time has been known to leave him in a borderline comatose state in the comics. Storm and Iceman probably could have done something though, especially since they are two of the most powerful (omega level) mutants.
None of this changes the fact that if Jean could stop the water from outside the plane, she could've stopped it from inside too.
The plane wallbanger is actually lampshaded. During his talk with Professor X, Wolverine can't understand why she left the plane when there was another way, so even he seems to think he death was entirely unnecessary. This carries with it the implication that Jean's stupidity is actually a conscious decision to let herself be hit with the water, for whatever reason.
In his X2 commentary Bryan Singer admitted that Storm or Iceman could have easily saved the X-Men and the Blackbird from the wall of oncoming water, but decided to have Jean die while saving the X-Men because Jean always dies in the comics and it would be the dramatic death the film needed.
Does anyone buy that mutants would suddenly be accepted by the rest of human society and not actively hunted down after an army of them attack soldiers, show just one can move the entire golden gate bridge and another that can create a massive vortex of sheer vaporizing power? Honestly? Just because one group of mutants fought another group of mutants, all mutants are good until proven otherwise?
This was acknowledged in one scene, in which the president tells Beast that he's trying to do his best to keep things smooth, but that he worries about how the world will survive with mutants "who can lift cities with their minds".
3 was just one long Wallbanger. Magneto simply abandoning a close friend who incidentally knows all of his plans? Maybe he'd treat her as needing to be cured of not being a mutant, but simply leaving her there was ludicrously out of character.
Except that it was apparently deliberate. Mystique was "abandoned" so that she could turn state's evidence on Magneto by revealing the location of his secret base... his FAKE secret base, inhabited entirely by Multiple Man.... keeping the military busy while he assembled his army elsewhere. Presumably she VOLUNTEERED for this gambit.
For that matter, Magneto not giving half a shit that his oldest friend, the person dearest to him in all the world, got killed right in front of him. This was apparently Derailing Magneto: The Movie.
And then there's the whole idea of the mobile prisons. This was apparently Executive Meddling (the Alcatraz sequence was supposed to be the jailbreak, but Magneto moving the Golden Gate was the big effect shot, so it got shunted illogically to the end of the movie and the script made approximately three times as idiotic to compensate) but this doesn't excuse the utter stupidity of trying to keep someone away from Magneto by putting them in a convoy of poorly defended metal things, or the logistics of keeping a convoy of vehicles in constant motion.
And then there's the Alcatraz scene itself. Soooooo, let's get this straight: Magneto has lifted the Golden Gate Bridge. Magneto wants to kill someone in an exposed cell on the top floor of the complex. Magneto for some reason doesn't think to either drop the bridge on the building or just crush the whole reinforced concrete structure using its own rebars. Idiot Ball, anyone?
Possibly he was aware that the cure was itself a mutant and was hoping to recruit/kidnap it for his own purposes rather than kill it? Wouldn't be the first time Magneto was better-informed than anyone else in the series, or putting mutant life on the level most real-world humans put human life even when it's an ostensible enemy. Notice how the only x-man he really beats on much is wolverine, whose entire deal is being able to take said beating easily. And how his betrayal of his mutant cohort as mentioned above was actually a fake that the film implies the main characters were stupid to fall for.
When I first saw this in middles school I couldn't figure out how Porcupine Man showed up to kill Dr. Rao after falling off a building. Catching it agian on TV I decided there must be tow characters with porcupine powers. I'll leave it up to you to decide which explanation is stupider.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The final villain is Deadpool. Yes, Deadpool. Oh, and he can now shoot concussive force blasts(!) from his eyes and teleport without a device, and his katanas are retractable just like Wolverine's claws (which led fans to call him Barakapool).
The next question: didn't his new wristanas look a bit longer than his forearms were? So he can't have had them fully sheathed and bent his arms at the same time?
Lady Deathstrike's claws were significantly longer than her fingers, likely the same deal.
Yes, but wouldn't her claws be able to go past the wrist?
I remember looking at the X2 website a long time ago, and I remember this opening animation of LD's claws coming out as segments. It's silly but maybe that's how she can move her fingers; the claws are only in her fingertips.
Also, his mouth was stitched shut. Yes, that's right, The Merc With the Mouth was gagged. Unleash Nerd Rage!
The Stinger shows the mouth is free again for random babbling in the spin-off.
And then there's the whole Adamantium bullets thing. Ok, so you've got bullets that can kill/memory wipe Wolverine (somehow) and you don't think of giving them to Agent Zero. You know, the guy who could hit him from a mile away blindfolded! I mean, maybe Stryker wanted to do it personally, but it's a stupid thing not to do.
No, you just need to lubricate the bullets to minimize damage to the barrel. Armour piercing rounds are made from in tungsten and that's much harder than the barrel's steel.
And it's not as if his skull was vaporized/replaced by molten adamantium 30 minutes earlier with no harmful side effects. Oh wait...
Even more to the point: bullets do not work that way! Bullets have to be made from soft metal or they don't catch the rifling in the barrel, won't spin, and will fire like a musket, even from a sniper rifle.
The bullets are probably an adamantium penetrator jacketed in something softer, like copper or cupronickel. The same kind of thing that jackets an FMJ round. That's how they make armour piercing bullets now.
Stryker has a revolver. This revolver has a six-bullet capacity. He fires all six bullets at Wolverine, causing the amnesia present in the later films. Then, seconds later, Stryker points the gun at Kayla, preparing to blast her away, and she mind-controls him to point the gun at himself. But it's an empty gun, making what would be a tense moment (if you hadn't seen X2) into one that's kind of funny.
What I simply don't get is how does an adamantium bullet penetrate a skull coated WITH THE SAME MATERIAL?! It would have made sense if he had shot him through the eyes or up the nose, which has been shown in the comics, or even if Wolverine had slowly lost his memory as a side effect of the bonding process. But somehow the toughest material in the universe is able to penetrate itself.
Well, diamonds can cut each other. Maybe the same principle would work for Adamantium.
You can't * cut* something with something else made of the same material, but you can penetrate a sheet of one material with a projectile of the same material, as long as it has enough mass and kinetic energy. Actually, it's more like tearing through the sheet rather than penetrating it outright, but the end result is the same, it goes through. In this case, the sheet would be Wolverine's skull. After all, lead bullets can penetrate steel plates even if lead is softer than steel.
Given enough kinetic force, you are right. But Adamantium is stated to be impenetrable, so it should be at least much more strong than any real world alloy. You should not be able to break it with a bullet, not even an adamantium one, more than steel arrows fired by a bow could penetrate a tank. Stryker should have used some sort of juiced-up rifle to keep some tenue verosimility.
Continuing from this line of thought — shooting an adamantium skull with an adamantium bullet only causes a little dint that makes you lose your memory, but you can cut a guy's adamantium neck off with adamantium claws? A bullet would travel somewhat faster than a roundhouse, one would have thought.
Deadpool didn't have adamantium in his skeleton. The one doc points out they haven't done the grafting yet when Striker wants him activated.
Oh, and Deadpool has this CONTINUOUSLY FIRING broad-range eyebeams that can destroy entire concrete structures (that you discover after his death), but doesn't think to just leave them on the whole time he's fighting Sabretooth and Wolverine? It's almost as if the movie gave Deadpool too much power and the script relies on continuing Deus ex Machina to resolve the fight in the designated hero's favour.
The entire Gambit scene is a giant Wall Banger. Gambit hates Creed. Logan shows up and tells him he's going to kill Creed. Remy suspects Logan is working with him and attacks. Creed randomly shows up for no apparent reason and fights with Logan. Gambit then, after seeing Creed (a man he knows is his enemy) fighting Logan (a man he only suspects to be his enemy only because of his possible affiliation WITH CREED) decides to attack Logan and allow Creed to escape. And then he displays random Spider-Man agility. And Logan takes out a fire escape in a manner befitting Looney Tunes. THEN, Gambit declares "You really DO want to kill him!" and decides to help Logan after all. One imagines how an idiot of this magnitude escaped the island.
Nobody ever said that jacket was one-of-a-kind. Just because Logan lost his memories doesn't necessarily mean his taste in jackets has to change.
The same female character getting fridged twice for the sake of Wolverine's "character development".
The most baffling part of his girlfriend's "death" to anyone familiar with the comics (or the first 3 movies...or the cartoon) is that one of Wolverine's PRIMARY powers is his sense of smell, how the HELL did he not realise that the blood covering his girlfriend wasn't hers? Not to mention he's pretty damn good at figuring out if someone is really dead from yards away; in a recent comic he enters a large research facility that he'd never been in before and is able to discern that there is a "female, dead" somewhere within...and THAT was a girl he didn't know and therefore was unfamiliar with her scent.
Or heck, why he didn't notice that there weren't large gashes all over her body? Seriously, for that much blood to be all over a corpse, one would imagine that the wounds would be visible.
Let's pretend for a moment that Wolverine's super senses weren't enough to realize she wasn't really dead. Why didn't he take her to a hospital? It would've taken a doctor five minutes to realize she had no wounds and she was, in fact, alive.
If Wolvie thinks she's dead, getting her to a hospital isn't going to do much. Also, Wolverine's a major rage case. He finds his lover dead, he's not going to be thinking anything other than "Kill the SOB who did it."
Okay, seriously people, are Wolverine's brother Victor Creed and Sabretooth from the X-Men Trilogy meant to be the same character or not? Or have they just adapted to film the same character twice?
To be fair, Victor Creed is never called Sabretooth in Wolverine's movie. And Sabretooth never gives his real name in the first X-Men.
Magneto was working with a machine that triggered mutations. That probably includes secondary mutations. The Professor said it apparently had no effect on mutants.
Wolverine is named after a small, vicious animal. Sabretooth is named after one of the largest cats that ever lived. In the comics and cartoons, Wolverine is a short, hairy guy, and Sabretooth is gigantic, and calls Wolverine "shorty" all the time. In the original X-Men movie, Wolverine is too damn tall, but at least Tyler Mane's Sabretooth is even larger. So what do we do for the prequel? We recast Sabretooth as Liev Schreiber, who is in fact shorter than Hugh Jackman. So Wolverine is now taller than Sabretooth, thus ruining the entire dynamic between the two characters. That's like making Sam Gamgee physically larger than Shelob.
There's a dramatic, important moment where Wolverine's girlfriend tells him the story of why Kuekuatsu, the Wolverine, howls at the moon. Except if she was in touch with her First Nations heritage enough to tell such a story off the top of her head, she would almost certainly be aware that A WOLVERINE IS NOT A WOLF. Wolverines aren't even canines. They're mustelids, like otters and weasels.
Actually, according to IMDB, Schreiber is half an inch taller than Jackman. Of course this makes them about equal.
One assumes Stryker eventually subjected him to a LOT of genetic testing.
Wolverine's girlfriend turns out to have the ability to mind-control anyone through physical contact. We find this out in a climactic scene where she tearfully confesses that she's been playing Logan in order to get the evil general to release her sister. Said general is very much within arm's reach. How hard would it been, over the years of their 'working together,' to just get a hand on him?
To the movie's credit, she said that Stryker was always very careful. Still doesn't justify the plot hole.
Stryker had a large number of mutants locked up, almost all of which had been kidnapped, were quite powerful, and would have loved to hurt him badly. Chances are, he took a good many precautions and prep work to keep himself safe in case a mutant did try to off him.
How the hell could Wolverine block Deadpool's eyebeams with his claws? Yes, adamantium is incredibly durable, but why didn't the eyebeams go through the gaps between the claws?
Not only that, but just because you block something doesn't mean it's harmless. You can block a missile with a suit of armor, but that doesn't mean you're going to stand there unharmed. The real question is how was Wolverine just standing there without being thrown a mile away?
This is Wolverine, people. He's just that awesome.
The fact that he had fairly large hunks of metal tearing the already formed neural pathways in his brain apart and suffers severe amnesia as a result isn't too hard to believe if you take into account that Logan's healing factor probably didn't have an exact map of the original pathways handy when it started reconstruction, but then try to factor in the fact that he never seems to have had those bullets removed. So...how does that work out? He just walks around with big honking bullets in his gray matter like it's no big deal? For that matter, his healing factor has never been seen to include the adamantium so how does he even heal that? Without someone like Magneto on hand to a) remove the bullets for him and b) reshape the adamantium in his skull in order to fix the gaping holes there's not a lot he can do there.
It is actually possible for an ordinary, non-mutant human to live a full, healthy life with a bullet lodged in the brain. It's not common, and it's unheard of for them not to suffer SOME negative consequences (change in personality, et cetera), but it's not impossible.
X-Men 2: There were nozzles in Magneto's prison cell that give out highly effective knock-out gas. That's reasonable, nah, brilliant in its simplicity and usefulness. In fact, every time there is a similar premise (a chamber where they need to prevent somebody from entering and/or leaving) but without a knock-out gas dispenser installed, it leaves me screaming: "You idiots, why didn't you install a knock-out gas dispenser?" Then Magneto attempts escape...and the gas is not used at all!!!
For a start, the guards didn't know he was making a successful escape attempt until he shattered the walls of his cell- the same walls that keep the gas in. Magneto takes about a minute or two to actually pass out when the nozzles are first used, and that's because the cell is small enough for the gas to build up to effective levels quickly. Once the walls are broken down, not only is the gas pumping into a much larger space (assuming the nozzles still work), but Magneto isn't waiting around to see what happens next. Ergo, the gas is pretty much useless unless the cell walls are intact.
For a start he killed a guard. Rather slowly and in a manner clearly indicating presence of metal. If that's not a reason enough to start pumping in the gas, I don't know what is (please, don't say they didn't have video surveillance in his cell, have mercy for the wall). And the gas is NOT useless, because, even if Magneto breaks out, you can still flood the whole building with gas!
While the first point is valid (holy shit he's killing the guy slowly and horribly! Why aren't we doing anything!) the second fails because it still takes time to flood the area with enough gas to make it work.
Maybe they don't have video surveillance in his cell because the cameras would necessarily 1)be placed in line-of-sight from him and 2)contain metal circuitry. That said, if they can't use cameras they ought to have a guard stationed at a watch post 24/7.
Also ... gas? Given how dangerous Magneto is and how hard it would be to stop any potential escape, his cell should be sitting on a very large quantity of plastic explosive that can be detonated from anywhere in the building.
X-Men: First Class. The mutants have just saved the world from the Omnicidal Maniac and prevented the Third World War, so the gratefulhumanity (ok, the US and USSR leaders), as a token of appreciation, decides to wipe them out with Macross Missile Massacre. Magneto stops the missiles and then directs them back at the battleships that fired them. Xavier, naturally tries to dissuade him from this act of cruelty by reminding Eric that there are thousands of sailors on the ships who were...Just Following Orders. He says this to Eric. The Holocaust survivor. *Facepalm*
According to someone on the Fridge page, Charles relies on his psychic powers to persuade people. Without them as a crutch, and with no time to think about it, he says precisely the wrong thing to Eric.
Why didn't Charles mind control Azazel into teleporting Erik back to the mansion or something?
Young Eric witnesses his mother shot right before his eyes by the Big Bad, and lets loose his powers in shock and hate against... the two hapless mooks standing behind him. Why didn't Eric just kill the person who killed his mother who is also sitting right in front of him?
Probably because the man in question could absorb all energy (including kinetic, we'd assume - nullifying all projectiles). Let's not forget that he had to be telekinetically frozen before he could finally be killed.
How, and with what control? He couldn't even really turn his powers on consciously yet; the two mooks died due to misfortune rather than intent. And even if he tried, it *still* wouldn't have done anything to Shaw.
Other Films, A-M
A.I.: Artificial Intelligence. Most of the movie is okay; then there's the ending. He discovers he isn't unique and seems to commit suicide by falling into the water. The End. WAIT, no, he gets rescued, but then he finds a Blue Fairy statue in the bottom of the sea and stays there forever wishing to be a real boy. The End. WAIT, no, a bunch of futuristic robots find him and say that he's very special and the last trace of intelligence left on the planet. The End. WAIT, a holographic blue fairy comes to him and says he can never be a real boy. The End. WAIT, but they can bring back his mother for one day and celebrate his birthday. The End. WAIT, then the mother dies. The End.
The above description of the end is executed perfectly here.
Angels and Demons. In the very beginning, the thief who steals the antimatter from CERN uses the torn out eye of the priest/doctor to open the retinal lock to the lab which contains the antimatter. But the doctor was inside the lab at the time. How did he get inside the lab to kill the doc and steal the eye which he used as the key to get inside the lab?
The assassin starting an unnecessary gun battle with the policemen trying to save the third cardinal from being burned, instead of just leaving.
Apparently, NASA has the same opinion and sometimes shows it to managers to see how many errors they can spot.
Awake: Putting aside the film makers very shaky research concerning Anaesthesia Awareness that among other things doesn't happen nearly as often as the opening crawl makes out; there is the villains absolutely incompetent assassination plan. Put simply their plan of injecting poison into the donor heart would have failed about a day later during the autopsy - an autopsy that is guaranteed due to the surgeon in question facing four malpractice suits and the patient's rich and powerful mother being on first name terms with one of the best and highest ranked surgeons in the country. There is also the fact Jessica Alba's character (the leader of the assassins) decided against little things to cover her tracks such as leaving fingerprints in restricted areas and, after going to the trouble of changing her identity, attempts this murder in the exact same hospital she worked in as a nurse; even going as far as to leave a photograph of herself in a nurse's uniform on the wall. Incidentally the mother committing suicide using blood thinning pills to allow her to give up her heart after Hayden Christensen's death? would have severely damaged it to the point his original defective heart probably would have been better so good job there.
Back to the Future: The infamous problem with the Delorean reaching 88 miles per hour at the end of the second film which results in Doc being catapulted back to 1885. Now Word Of God has it that the lightning strike caused the car to spin at such velocity that it hit the required speed - the reasoning for the otherwise unexplainable flame trails leaving a 99 shaped trail after it disappears. Thing is... this is the perfect example of someone trying to solve a wallbanger by creating a wallbanger of equal size. If the Delorean spun at 88 miles per hour in mid-air and its stated in dialogue that the lightning strike shorted out the flying circuits there is no way in hell the Doc wouldn't have met a horrific fiery death crashing head first into the ground. Remember also that he wasn't even wearing a seat belt; an action that in real life kills people if they crash at 40 let alone 88.
Also, Doc and Marty cannot go back to the original future to stop Biff because the timeline has split. Uh, so how did Biff do it then? You know, when he brought the car back?
In Battle for Terra, we are introduced to a species of alien that can fly... or is that hover? The film never really can decide which. The whole race has multiple flying craft that would seem to suggest they just hover, yet in one scene, an alien saved a human being by flying hundreds of feet down to catch him, and then hundreds of feet back. Then why, when she fell out of a spacecraft while returning to her planet in a later scene, did she plummet all those feet to the ground?
Battlefield Earth is full of Wall Bangers. One that stands out is how the Psychlos have had 1000 years to strip mine Earth for gold, and didn't notice Fort Knox.
Additionally the 'science' is just plain awful. How exactly they managed to avoid nuking themselves before they knew what it would do is a mystery.
The biggest wallbanger in the movie is the fact that the Psychlos have somehow, in over a thousand years, never decided to try to use the "man animals" as slave labor. Travolta's character brags that the Psychlo military defeated the combined militaries of Earth in a day. This means they were aware that the "man animals" had a military, meaning they are intelligent. Furthermore, who the fuck do they think built all those ruins all over the place? The "man animals" obviously are intelligent, even if you can't understand them (because you never used the machine that instantly makes them understand you), so NO, the idea that the "man animals" could never be trained to mine your gold for you is not a valid one.
It isn't even made clear in the movie exactly why they've kept humans around for over the past thousand years. They just seem to keep a few dozen of them in pens for no apparent reason.
There's also the problem of how the man animals discover jet aircraft that have been sitting around for a few hundred years, but are still somehow fully functional and the man animals learn to fly them in just a few days.
All this is made more frustrating if you've read the book, in which these aren't so much problems that are explained/addressed as not problems in the first place. Men are used (and bred) as slaves on a regular basis, and also exist as essentially wildlife that are hunted for sport outside the mountains. They're not regarded as intelligent enough to mine gold because the plains people suffer birth defects from residual radiation and inbreeding including mental retardation, where the mountain tribe the protagonist came from was shielded from fallout. Fort Knox was overlooked because they find gold via geology, not asking the natives, and it doesn't sit in an area geologically likely to produce gold. Most importantly they know damned well what radiation does to their atmosphere and invest a lot of technology and manpower into making sure none of it comes through the portals... which is why the fusion bombs, which aren't radioactive until their detonation, get through... essentially, they still underestimate humanity, but for much more plausible reasons, as their system is actually pretty secure as-is.
A little more Ryan Reynolds: Blade: Trinity. Combat playlist. Why not just go in wearing a blindfold?
Also from Blade: Trinity. Blade can beat up vampires, for he is a half-vampire superman. Fair enough. Ryan Reynolds can't beat up vampires despite looking even bigger and stronger than Blade, being a former vampire (and therefore older than he looks) and knowing martial arts. So why the hell can Jessica Biel kick them around the room with awkward-looking roundhouse kicks?
They also make a big deal about Blade being hunted by the authorities, yet after he escapes from jail he's whoppin' Familiars in broad daylight! Subtle.
Don't forget how Blade is framed for murdering a Familiar disguised as a vampire, even though in the first film it's established Blade can distinguish the subtle nuances between humans and vampires. * headdesk*
Being fair, that was a familiar deliberately set up by vampires to be mistaken for a vampire. Cues can be faked.
Disney's Blank Check. The main character's whole family is pretty much always on his back, scolding him for being lazy because he isn't trying to get a job or make money in any way. The kid is about seven years old. These people expect a seven-year-old to become an entrepreneur?!
That's assuming people didn't already find fault with the plot for its piling of ridiculous circumstance after circumstance onto the main character (his brothers bully him, his first check gets stolen, his birthday is a washout, and he has his bike run over by the film's villain) or the notion that anyone in their right mind would clear a $1,000,000 check deposited by a kid who says he's an assistant to a big computer tycoon. Plus, an undercover FBI agent takes him at his word that his boss is a legitimate person, and willingly goes on a date with him. Then she kisses him at the end, before promising that she'll go on a date with him when he turns 17. NOOOOOO!!!
Let's not forget the scene where the parents ground the main character for wrecking his bike (a car ran over it) rather than praising God that it was not their son that got wrecked.
Keep in mind the obvious... the main character gets a million dollars. Now, no one is saying that's not a lot of money, but it's nowhere near enough for all the cool looking stuff he gets in the movie, including a freaking CASTLE with built in water slide, virtual reality like video games, gokarts, a limo with driver and well, enough stuff to make many real life billionaires look modest.
To be (somewhat) fair, he is more likely ten or eleven rather than seven. Despite this, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that he is too young to legally work in 'any' job, or at least any job that would appease his father.
When one of the characters asks the kid why the person he's working for is sending a kid to buy all this stuff for him he answered by telling him how his "boss" never had a childhood and is doing all this stuff now because he's rich. How exactly does this answer the question?
Tell any real adult that an eccentric millionaire who refuses to show himself is palling around with a ten year old boy, buying him expensive toys, and employing him under mysterious circumstances that the boy seems hesitant to clarify, and they will freak out. It's a wonder the cops weren't called as soon as he explained the arrangement.
The Brave One has Jodie Foster taking revenge for her horrible beating and the death of her fiancee at the hands of a group of thugs by gunning down criminal types that so much as threaten her. She becomes close friends with the lead detective in her case, but he is also tracking down the one responsible for the recent shootings. He begins to realize that it is her, and steels himself against the idea of arresting her as he gathers evidence. Then he gets a copy of the cell phone recording one of the thugs made when they were beating Foster and her fiancee, and turns on a dime to help her. What the hell? He knew what had happened to her and sympathized, but the movie made it clear that he wasn't going to allow that to prevent him from bringing her in for murder. How does he go from saying to her that he would have to bring in a criminal, even if it was a loved one, to actively helping her commit and cover up a murder!? He even has her shoot him in the arm to make it look like he had shot the perp in self-defense. Absolutely ridiculous, the whole ending.
In Breach, what possible reason could the FBI have for not telling O'Neill that he was really investigating a man suspected of treason? They weren't trying to surprise the audience; everyone already knew about the real life events and the movie even starts by showing the news of Hanssen's arrest. They don't even use the clichéd line 'he'd have seen right through you', they just expect the audience to ignore the lack of logic. In real life the FBI certainly didn't do anything so stupid.
Doubly so, because their weddings were only on the same day and at different times. The flimsy Hand Wave this gets is that Liv is fed up with having shared everything with Emma for her entire life and wants a wedding day that's all to herself. So much for their friends forever bit.
Then there's Liv having her bachelorette party the day before an important meeting.
In Bruce Almighty, God allows Bruce to accidentally kill, injure, and render homeless hundreds of innocent South East Asians, just to teach him a lesson. Even if this really happens, we don't necessarily want to see it in secular fiction.
No, he didn't. He explicitly states to Bruce when Bruce finally asks for help, "That wasn't the world, that was New York, between 15th and 20th," or something to that effect. The 'effects' to the world were there only to make sure Bruce learned his lesson. Bruce didn't affect anything but his own life, really.
Not true. When Bruce asks for help, it's because of all the prayers, and the PRAYERS are just from the Buffalo area. Bruce pulling the fucking moon out of its normal orbit has some knock-on effect.
It seemed more like God was telling Bruce the only time he helped was when dealing with the thugs.
The huge Wall Banger in the movie is that with the power of God, you can stop time and operate normally within it, catching up on every prayer in femtoseconds, figuring out consequences, etc.
Money says Bruce still didn't have the patience for that.
And an even bigger Wall Banger: Why is Bruce getting prayers at all? People pray to God, not whoever has his powers. Apparently, a whole bunch of people in Boston have their prayers, which are supposed to be personal conversations which they entrust to an all-knowing, loving Being, shared against their knowledge with, and allocated to, some selfish idiot.
Let's take it a step further - God tells Bruce he'd better get on with answering those prayers like it's his job or something. He puts it even more bluntly in the sequel (with a cute Double Entendre while disguised as a waiter): "I have a lot of people to serve." Since when did God exist to serve people?
Yeah, because God never flooded the shit out of something before...
Or that He promised to never do it again afterwards. Oh, wait, that's exactly what He did, so THIS is the biggest Wall Banger of all! Although "The Flood was a love story, because all those people on the Ark, they stood for each other."
He didn't cause the flood, the corrupt politician did by making a faulty dam and it's clear he's not the kind of guy to just snap his fingers to fix every problem (otherwise there would never be anything bad ever). Really it's more like that dam was going to break and he forced Evan to make an escape vessel for everyone so they could survive, learning a lesson was just a perk he anticipated (he could have forced anyone to make the ark but chose someone who'd learn from it).
It seems likely that in the first case, God hit a Reset Button to undo all the damage Bruce did and in the sequel, he prevented massive damage beyond a bunch of stuff getting wet. Although, this doesn't justify any of it, as surely there's a better way to teach Bruce than to let him accidentally wipe out cities and a better way to teach Evan than to terrify the shit out of all of Washington DC.
Additionally, there's the crater of a Plot Hole regarding the very premise. Granted, the whole "2 of every animal" part is key to the original story, but that doesn't explain why exotic animals (like lions and elephants) came all the way from freaking Africa when the flood only took place in Washington D.C., America.
It also makes Evan's story to the public more interesting/believable. Building a giant boat is one thing, but some how getting all those animals makes for a good news story that people want to see and puts them in position to run to the ark when they see a wall of water. The whole plan falls apart if people decided to ignore Evan and stay at home so the animals are magically summoned to get their attention with how outlandish it is.
The Butterfly Effect spends much of the film setting up its "time travel" rules, namely that when Evan travels back to his own past and changes something, only he can remember the alternate timelines, and from the perspective of everyone else the events had always taken place that way. This internal consistency is then promptly thrown out of the window in a scene where, finding himself the target of prison rapists, Evan convinces a fellow prisoner to help him by briefly travelling back to his childhood and scarring the palms of his hands so that "stigmata" spontaneously appear before the prisoner's eyes. Not only does this break the established continuity rules, but it also makes a mockery of the film's entire premise, that even minor changes to the past can drastically change the course of one's life; we are now meant to accept that while all the other changes Evan made sent his life down wildly different paths, deliberately driving spikes through both his hands (in the middle of a classroom, no less) didn't change anything beyond giving him scars.
This is less of a wallbanger than it appears on its face. In an earlier scene, Evan discovers that the effects of injuries that occur exactly at the end of a flashback carry over into his current timeline on his current body. The prisoner didn't see the scars form, because from his perspective they were always present, what he saw was the scars suddenly became fresh wounds on Evan's palms. Still a wallbanger in the sense that this idea of things from the flashbacks coming through to the present is applied inconsistently throughout the movie.
Disney's Chicken Little (as opposed to the original aesop) ran about 30 minutes too long due to a Wall Banger halfway through the movie: originally CL is ostracized by the entire town after alarming it to a threat that sounds incredulous, that of a piece of the sky literally falling on his head, which isn't helped when he cannot find the evidence to present to the angry townspeople. A year later, CL is finally starting to live this down, when said "piece of the sky" hits him in the head again. He calls up his friends, but doesn't tell his father, because he doesn't want his father to be disappointed in him again, even going out of the way to hide the evidence from his father to avoid looking crazy. HELLO! Can you say "vindication?" The entire plot of the movie was that nobody believed CL because of the crazy, unsubstantiated things he would say. Now he has hard evidence of his claims in his hand. Wouldn't this be the perfect time for him to say "Look, I'm not crazy, here's the same thing that fell on me a year ago, and this is how it managed to look invisible last time?"
Considering that it took a bit of time for his dad to start to accept his advice even after aliens were invading and he had an alien baby with him, one has to wonder if showing the evidence would have helped all that much anyway...
Cloverfield: When the dudes are finally picked up by helicopters near the end of the movie, which direction do you think the rescue choppers would take? The most logical direction would be to simply fly in a straight line AWAY from the 'creature' (as it seems the other chopper does). Is this what they do? No, of course they take a flight path that almost CIRCLES the monster (so much so that Hud can just lean over and film it!), so that when the monster is hit by missiles from the Stealth Bombers flying overhead (causing a premature celebration of the monsters death), all it has to do is REACH UP and knock the helicopter out of the sky, dooming everyone in the chopper and wasting an entire movie of emotional investment devoted to the rescue of these dumbasses.
The only possible explanation for the flight path was to ensure that the helicopter didn't collide with another chopper or get in the path of the falling bombs.
The fact that the monster is a baby. This raises so many biological impossibilities that even the most unrealistic aspects of a cheesy Godzilla movie look like a well-researched documentary in comparison.
Not to mention the ridiculous concept of how large (unless it goes through metamorphosis instead) the adult would have to be in comparison. Infants grow very quickly their first few days/weeks of life. If the monster is a baby, there is no way it would have enough food to sustain itself much less provide the energy to grow any larger (or form a cocoon or whatnot).
In Con Air, Nicolas Cage's character, an Army Ranger kills a drunk who attacked him and his wife while he is in full uniform. Not only does his idiot attorney counsel him to plead guilty to involuntary manslaughter despite it being an open and shut case of self-defense, the judge decides to ignore the plea-bargain and give the maximum sentence because Army training made him a lethal weapon.
The second part is illegal, while a Judge could throw out a plea bargain they would have to throw out the plea as well.
This was a glorified barfight, how does Cage end up in a federal prison? The Feds would have no jurisdiction in this situation, it's strictly a local case and it should have been handled by a state court.
Constantine, the less than loyal adaptation of Hellblazer, makes a big deal about following Catholic dogma. In particular, it's about the title character's inability to go to heaven because of his suicide attempt and his attempts to redeem himself by battling the minions of Hell. Constantine knows Catholic dogma is true but does not believe all of it, and that makes him a bit of an Idiot Hero. Did it never occur to him to go to confession, or was he just unwilling to admit he was wrong? This one was so obvious that Roger Ebert pointed it out in his review:
"Three Our Fathers, three Hail Marys, and he's outta there."
Given that Constantine went to the point of directly asking the archangel Gabriel what it would take to earn forgiveness for his suicide, and she answered him 'Nothing, you're doomed', we really can't blame the guy. Sure, (s)he was probably lying, but he didn't know that. When an archangel tells you its hopeless, you can't exactly go over his/her/its head by visiting the local parish priest.
The film does have a fundamental misunderstanding about Roman Catholic Dogma as regards suicide. A successful suicide is considered an unforgivable sin because, by definition, if it's successful, you can't confess it. But Constantine's suicide wasn't successful; he was revived, therefore penance and forgiveness is possible. Out of character, given the large chip on his shoulder re: the Church, but possible.
CSA The Confederate States Of America in its entirety. The Confederacy conquers the Union (no) by winning at Gettysburg (no) with British and French assistance (no) in the form of ground troops (not even in the most die-hard secessionists' wet dreams). The Confederacy then goes to burn down New York and Boston, America's best and largest ports, even though the only reason Britain and France had any sympathy to the CSA was as a result of the cotton trade; yet, the Republican Party somehow endures when you'd assume they would have been put down as abolitionist subversives. Slavery continues into the 21st century. The American middle class, indeed, practically the whole modern world, turns out nearly identical to our own despite the massive changes to the political and economic landscape. The (all-white) Confederate Army conquers all of Latin America and eventually parts of the Middle East, and the Europeans are cool with that. White people are essentially the devil incarnate who like slavery just For the Evulz. Einstein gets his own slave hacienda. American (that is, white) culture is sterile, whereas Canadian culture (influenced by its large free black population) is the trendsetter; in this film, ethnic diversity is an absolute necessity for any form of cultural development, and any population that has ethnic diversity will develop automatically.
The slavery bit is particularly irritating. In real life, by the time the Civil War broke out, slaves were extremely expensive (importation of slaves from Africa was banned in the early 1800s, thus limiting supply; an adult male slave could go for $400 on the low end), meaning slavery was the province entirely of the rich. As a result, even among those who were against abolition, support for slavery began to ebb as time went on, the working class viewing it as yet another privilege the wealthy had they never would; once the Emancipation Proclamation came out, Confederate morale collapsed, the soldiers famously coming to view the conflict as "a rich man's war and a poor man's fight". Many historians believe that had the Confederacy won, slavery would not have lasted indefinitely; before the Civil War, Lincoln had drafted plans for gradual and compensated cessation of slavery, which had received approval from Southern members of his cabinet, and it is not impossible to believe similar plans would happen in a successful CSA. In this movie, however, the CSA is basically Slaveryland - slaves are used for every possible purpose, slaves are sold on a site similar to eBay, and the only reason the Confederates don't approve of the Nazis is because they kill the Jews rather than enslave them. Talk about The Theme Park Version!
Dantes Peak is sometimes praised for being more scientific than its opponentVolcano, but it jumps between being terribly inconsistent with the effects of a volcanic eruption or ignoring them outright. The lake near Ruth's cabin becomes acidic and starts corroding their boat, yet somehow leaves the fish (dead, but whole) floating on the surface. Then Ruth jumps into the lake and pushes their boat to the pier - but they were almost there anyway, and were even moving faster than before by wrapping up their arms to paddle. And an elderly woman isn't exactly as acid-resistant as a metal boat. Then she ignores her family, who are trying to help her out of the water, and slowly wades up onto the shore. Of course, none of them would've been in that situation if Ruth had listened to the evacuation warnings in the first place, or if she and the children (who somehow drove a rescue vehicle up to her cabin during the eruption) hadn't put off evacuating later to go after her dog. The dog that the family was completely willing to sacrifice if it hadn't been able to jump into their jeep at the end.
Oh, and they're driving the jeep through a lava flow, but aside from the tires bursting into flames, this has no ill effects. Finally, the family gets stuck in a collapsed tunnel, but are able to use the experimental drone the doctor had brought along to contact help. However, they aren't rescued until a few days later, because apparently the scientists didn't think a distress signal being given off by their expensive prototype in a disaster area was worth noticing. And the characters have no difficulty breathing on the mountainside, even when they're walking through a forest where all the trees have been coated with volcanic ash!
Matt Murdock fights Elektra for absolutely no reason at all despite having just met her, having no idea that she has any martial arts ability, in a playground just off a main street, in broad daylight, sans costumes, in front of 50+ kids, and they are both supposed to have secret identities!
And she also attacks him without knowing of his martial arts ability, but she does already know he's blind. What a bitch!
Well, actually, there can be some justification there. Matt goes after her to try and learn her name, and likely picked up from the way she moved and reacted, that she knew how to handle herself in a fight. She on the other hand, has just had an apparently blind guy follow her, watch her movements as though he could see, and react like a martial artist when she attempts to handlock him. By this time each has ascertained that the other can fight, and isn't afraid to do so, so they were probably very interested to see just what the other can do. Matt was sure he'd be fine, and Electra was sure that she'd be able to pull her punches to prevent the 'blind' guy (who from her point of view may have been faking it) from getting hurt.
Plus, blind or not, Matt was acting like a creep. She was just trying to show him (in the least harmful way possible) that he needs to leave her the fuck alone.
Elektra's dad is killed because even though he KNOWS he's a target (having been reliably informed just ten minutes before by the Kingpin), when his limo plows into a roadblock, he does precisely what a target shouldn't do and gets out of the bulletproof car, turns around to face the direction his assassin is approaching from, and stands upright, right next to the car for the next five minutes to see if Bullseye really can hit him while fighting Daredevil (which of course he does, with DD's billy club, right in the heart), when any sane target would stay low and get behind some cover (or maybe hightail it while one's nominated assassin is otherwise occupied). May be also an example of an Idiot Ball.
Might be justified by the fact that he's just been in a car crash, and understandably disoriented.
The fact that in the movie, apparently when Daredevil went blind and gained his extrasensory powers, the moviemakers also decided that it gave him superhuman jumping powers as well.
Actually that goes back to the comics: the fact that he's an excellent gymnast is due to the bones in his ears related to maintaining balance. Still questionable, but you can blame Stan Lee for that one.
The ending of the The Dark Knight is a Wallbanger to this Troper. First off, why exactly is it such a huge deal that the district attorney went "bad" (bad meaning he killed some mobsters with blood on their hands)? Except maybe the President of the United States, I don't think any politician could have that many people viewing them as a shining beacon of hope (that good exists, apparently). For that matter, does anyone reading this even know who their District Attorney is? Thanks to voter apathy, most people don't. Furthermore, how exactly does saying Batman did it work? Surely Gordon couldn't pull that off alone. The cop that Two Face spared, the Joker, and Coleman Reese (the Wayne Industries guy who found out Batman's identity and probably knew Bruce couldn't have been off killing the mobsters) all know what actually happened. The murders will be investigated, and there will probably be plenty of DNA at the crime scenes, given Dent's condition at the time. And when people see what Dent looked like, they'll compare that to the crime scene evidence I just mentioned.
Nobody reading this lives in Gotham City, where psychopaths and mobsters run around leaving corpses and destruction in their wake on a nightly basis. I think Gotham would value another person who helps put the crooks away just a bit more than the rest of the world.
For the first point, it mentioned in the movie that if Dent was revealed to have become a homicidal vigilante, at the very least, the gambit that they pulled off to put large numbers of mafia goons behind bars would be overturned. As for the testimony of the others, the Joker is hardly a reliable witness to say the least, Reese only knows that Bruce Wayne is Batman (presumably, he wouldn't know about the whole Thou Shalt Not Kill thing), and Ramirez would probably want to keep the members of the mob in jail as opposed to making the crime rate skyrocket.
I have to take issue with the person who disputes the impact that Harvey Dent would have on Gotham. It is not the case that people as a rule will be apathetic about politics and their civic leaders. A lot of people are apathetic about politics because they've heard of the corruption of past politicians like Richard Nixon. Given the corrupt environment that is Gotham, hearing that a politician kidnapped and murdered anyone would contribute to an ongoing public apathy at the least. A cursory look at history shows that an apathetic public correlates very strongly with a corrupt culture. Therefore, if the public began to put faith in Harvey Dent's efforts to clean up the city of Gotham, hearing about his rampage would lead to public disaffection.
I have to add: the assumption that the police would fully investigate the murders committed by Harvey Dent is not good. Jim Gordon, the Gotham City's Police Commissioner, would be the one who decided how much effort the police would put into investigating the murders committed by Dent. The movie points this out. Batman tells Gordon to call in Batman as the suspect for the murders. Therefore, Gordon has already led the police to chase the wrong person. This was deliberately done and spelled out. Police tend to trust one another when investigating any crime. Since Gordon was a more honest officer than many of his predecessors, his subordinates would have more reason to trust his word. Furthermore, earlier in the film, the public had already started turning against Batman, declaring that Batman should turn himself in to stop the Joker. Then Batman beats up an entire swat team. Thus, the public opinion regarding Batman turned negative, enough of the police saw Batman beat up other officers and held him indirectly responsible for the deaths of their fellow officers, and Gordon's word all led to the public's willingness to accept Batman's guilt. Not everyone would have to believe that Batman was guilty for there to exist a prevailing sense of Batman's guilt. The Dark Knight Rises depicts this through the character of John Blake.
The aftermath of the nuclear bomb at the end of The Dark Knight Rises. Hiroshima, Nakasaki and Chernobyl are still heavily irradiated (the latter to the point of being completely uninhabitable) after over 50 years. Gotham had a nuclear warhead detonated less than 10 miles away from its shores, and its perfectly fine.
To be fair That was a thermonuclear device, which is unlikely to produce fallout, to say nothing that given Gotham's position on what is almost certainly the Atlantic Ocean, it seems more likely the fallout will drift harmlessly out to sea, if it has any. That said Since it's a fusion reactor, it should have just fizzled out instead of exploded leaving Bane with a lot of egg on his mask.
Couple of points here. First off, Chernobyl was not caused by a nuclear explosion. It was the result of a catastrophic reactor meltdown. Second, they detonated a fusion reactor. Fusion reactions do not produce radioactive fallout. At all.
Thirdly, while Hiroshima and Nagasaki were heavily damaged by the a-bombs, they're not still heavily irradiated. The radiation levels there are no more than the amount of radiation in the atmosphere as a result of above ground atomic bomb tests. In addition, the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki were 90% dud.
The Dark Knight Saga seriously presses the extent of Gotham's idiocy regarding Batman's real identity. The conclusion of The Dark Knight has Batman disappearing, and Bruce Wayne concurrently becomes a hermit in his own mansion. Eight years pass up to The Dark Knight Rises, and not long after Bruce Wayne makes a comeback (including a very conspicuous public appearance), Batman suddenly appears and starts fighting crime.Taken to the extreme in the ending, as after Batman is believed to be dead Bruce Wayne is given a burial right afterwards.
There were roughly five years between the disappearance of Bruce Wayne and Batman - the two returning at the same time would be chalked up to coincidence, and as for Bruce Wayne's "death", the riots and assaults against the wealthy members of society would explain that.
The notion that the public ought to know that Bruce Wayne is Batman is not correct. When people make such a statement, they are forgetting about the concept of dramatic irony. With dramatic irony, the outside observer, i.e., the reader, or the person watching the film, knows what the inhabitants of the fictional world, in this case, Gotham, do not know. Even if citizens of Gotham City believe Bruce Wayne is Batman, they don't have the means to substantiate the claim. In reality, people don't know much about celebrities or the wealthy. We don't know their comings and goings. We may learn about one aspect of a celebrity's life but we don't know everything about that actor or politician. Likewise, in Gotham City, people as a whole wouldn't just assume that Bruce Wayne is Batman. Bruce Wayne wasn't the only wealthy person in the Nolanverse. From the average person's perspective, there would be no reason to think Bruce Wayne was Batman.
Rachel was Bruce's best friend for decades, and in the first half of Dark Knight was starting to become a pretty cool character. She is then killed in the stupidest, most pointless way imaginable. In Dark Knight Rises, what mention does she get? Bruce has sex with Talia seconds after looking at her picture, and then later says "Rachel died knowing we had planned to be together." GAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!
Deep Impact was supposed to be serious, which might make its inaccuracies worse. For instance, the four nuclear devices causing a clean cut in the comet (as shown in a graphic in the movie) is impossible on several levels.
The part where is crosses from stupid to insulting is the fact that the shuttle was powered by an Orion drive! This particular machine uses nuclear bombs for fuel, and produces nuclear blasts as its exhaust. Point the tailpipe at the thing and hit the gas. You'll at least whittle it down while on the way to Earth.
Dragon Ball Evolution. For example, calling energy attacks Airbending, how pathetic the final fight was, Roshi's decision to wait until dark to get out of Yamcha's hole, despite the fact that they were on a tight timeframe... it just goes on and on.
And the writers picked the worst possible time to stay true to the source material: over the course of the movie, both Roshi and Goku's grandfather are killed. At the end, the heroes use the Dragon Balls to resurrect Roshi... but not Goku's grandfather. Yes, this is parallel to the end of the original Piccolo Saga, but in that universe, Goku's grandfather had been dead for years and had already expressed contentment in being dead. In this movie, he died a violent, unexpected death, and he still doesn't get to come back with Roshi.
To say nothing of any other people Piccolo killed to get the Dragon Balls he had. They were people who most likely didn't know WHY they were killed, as it's implied people don't know the purpose of the Dragon Balls.
During their fight, Goku tries to tell Roshi that he isn't a thief (despite sneaking into the house in search of a Dragon Ball). Then at the moment when Roshi stops fighting and stands and looks at him, Goku promptly launches his own attack. Way to peacefully end the fight, kid.
Why exactly didn't Piccolo take Gohan with him or at least make sure he was dead? Instead of torturing the information about where the Dragon Ball was or snapping Gohan's neck he simply crushes the building, leaving Gohan still alive to give one last message to Goku.
So after Gohan died Goku just buried him and left? In the movie, he's supposedly a modern teenager brought up in a lawful society. Shouldn't Goku's first action be to call the police? The police could be easily forgiven if they had come to the conclusion that Goku was responsible.
Elizabeth is bursting with Hollywood History. First the Duke of Norfolk called her "Princess Elizabeth." Sure, she's the Queen's sister, it makes sense...except when you remember that Elizabeth was stripped of her legitimacy years earlier and was never called anything but the Lady Elizabeth until she herself became Queen. Then after she became Queen came scenes of her having sex with her childhood best friend, Robert Dudley. The sex itself gets a pass because historians to this day can't agree on whether they did or not, but if they did, the affair was extremely discreet — not carried on in a room with an audience chamber for her ladies to watch them. Finally, her secretary William Cecil calls her out on the affair and drops the bombshell that Dudley is in fact married, which the film's Elizabeth heard with shock and horror. The real Elizabeth? She was a guest at the wedding.
As far as William Cecil, he remained one of Elizabeth's closest advisors until his death twenty years later. Making him "Lord Burghley" was not a retirement gift, it was a title to match his office.
Two things are drive up the wall and crash through. One: The mother on her deathbed telling Ella never to tell anyone about her curse. Really!? Not ever? Not even when she's grown up and presumably able and expected to make her own decisions? Not even if or when she wants to marry? Even worse is that Ella using loophole abuse and her mother countering it is shown in the film, so the mother has to be smarter than that. As fairytale deathbed 'help' goes, it stinks.
Two: The medieval setting does not justify Ella not being given the order to never trust or obey people who are trying to hurt her or others, with an 'except for the family and Mandy' qualifier. (That due to Ella's ability to use exact words.) Being wary of and not listening to strangers is something four-year-olds are taught. A child who could not protest once ordered would be in an even greater amount of danger.
Three: This one's a film-only example, admittedly, since this was handled better in the book. Ella has been given an order to kill the prince, so to prevent this she chains herself up. Then, the fairy who gave Ella the obedience curse in the first place shows up, and Ella confronts the fairy over the harm she caused. How does the fairy respond? By telling Ella not to blame the fairy for her problems, and then setting Ella free to kill the prince as a "favor!" To be blunt, however, the fairy isgoddamn responsible for the obedience curse! She cast the curse, and severely narrowed Ella's range of actions as a result. She was the one shifting blame for her negative actions, and she deliberately gave Ella an opportunity to commit murder, to boot! And the viewers were supposed to agree with the fairy?! The book handles this much better, since in the book, the fairy actually does feel guilty about the curse she cast, since she had good intentions for casting it but was misguided.
Equilibrium. Gun Kata. The concept of how it operates is unrealistic, stupid, and just plain wrong. Being able to statistically predict your opponents' positions in a gunfight and then also statistically predict where they will shoot to allow you to dodge their bullets (because, you know, there's no such thing as adjusting one's aim) is retarded; how did this make the film? It would have been better if they hadn't bothered coming up with it and said the Clerics can dodge bullets because they're just that Bad Ass. Instead, Kurt Wimmer tried to bypass Willing Suspension of Disbelief and Rule of Cool by providing an explanation, when those two things are all that keep physics-defying stunts from looking stupid rather than awesome.
At the beginning of the film, they show the Mona Lisa being burned so that even the Lowest Common Denominator knows the government is against all art. The Mona Lisa is about a tenth of the size of the painting in the film and is painted on wood, not canvas — and yet, when they take out the Instant-Art-Verifier, it confirms that it's real. Fridge Logic bonus: Why does it matter? Wasn't the point to destroy anything that could evoke emotions?
Event Horizon: The fact that no one at NASA or the NSA could recognize, let alone translate a few words of Latin.
In the Jet Li movie Fearless, set in the early 20th century, he fights the representatives of four nations. An English boxer, a Spanish swordmaster, a Japanese judoka, and a German... spear fighter? This is the 20th century. When Germany modernised its military, it modernised. Besides which, there is no art of one-on-one spear-fighting; the pike was always a formation weapon.
Except that there is, and all the "research" you have to do is watch the special feature on the DVD. The actor playing the role of the spear-wielding man is himself a champion and student of the regional art. Not invented, student of. Therefore, the art exists, because otherwise he would have nothing to study. QED. Also, the Japanese fighter is not a judoka. Judo has no striking or weapon techniques. What he studied was (at least) karate, and the correct term for a practitioner is a "karateka".
The Spear Fighter claims proudly that the Germans were some of the first to invent a Spear Kata. There were martial techniques in Europe just as there were in the Orient, though many were left abandoned as guns came into play. Because explosions are cool. Lately, there's been something of a resurgence in these arts from old manuals.
How about the premise, that the main character can get sex from hot women anytime he wants and giving it up is a challenge? When women hear about his decision to abstain and want him even more.
To make things worse, most churches that observe Lent teach that Sundays are exempt, and people who gave up things are allowed to partake in those things on Sundays.
Good Luck Chuck is a pretty loathsome movie from start to finish, but it saves its biggest wallbanger to nail those who soldiered through to the end: Chuck (Dane Cook) has broken up with Cam (Jessica Alba), and realizes that the only way to get her back and keep her is to find the goth girl who cursed him originally. After finding her (now a pregnant housewife and mother), she tells Chuck that the curse can't be lifted, but if he was meant to be with a woman, the curse won't work. After the Race for Your Love, Airport-flavor climax, Chuck and Cam reunite, and we cut to Anisha (the goth girl)... removing a pin from a Chuck voodoo doll and putting it away - completely negating the "True Love Conquers All" message.
Maybe it's a subversion.
How in the hell can Michael Meyers avoid being sought by a huge manhunt? Most authorities seem apathetic and indifferent towards hunting him down.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, but your serial-killer brother escaped a couple of days ago, and he probably knows where you are. Thought you'd like to know. What, police? Oh, no need to bother them, I'm sure you can just call us when you see him kthx bye."
It finally happened in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, in which a posse gets together to kill Michael Meyers after he kills everyone at the Haddonfield Police Headquarters. Michael does manage to kill several vigilantes, but he is eventually "killed" when a whole mob of them empty everything they've got into him. It's about one-and-a-half movies late, but still...
In Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, Myers is revealed to have survived the mob shooting and fell through a mine shaft and ended up on the floor of a hermit's shack where he became comatose before reviving next Halloween and killing the hermit. This, of course, means that Myers laid on the floor of this shack for a year and the hermit did absolutely nothing about it. He didn't inform paramedics or cops, he didn't get rid of the body, or even move the body out of the shack. If a movie character was ever Too Dumb to Live, this hermit was it.
John Carpenter has consistently said that Michael Myers is not a physical creature capable of being killed, but the visual personification of unbridled evil. That is, while you can see him and he can do things to you, he's not actually there physically, and can appear and disappear as it sees fit. But then, the cops don't know that...
High Tension / Haute Tension is an enjoyable thriller about a college student named Marie trying to rescue her best friend Alexia, whom she's in love with, from a deranged killer. She was highly sympathetic, she kicks the killer's arse, and - Oh, wait a minute! Cliche Twist Ending time! Marie is a Psycho Lesbian with Multiple Personality Disorder. A killer is she. The twist leaves about 40 different plot holes and invalidates most of the movie. It doesn't even try to explain the split personality, so the only reason appears to be "'cause she's a lesbian."
Then how about this: Marie looks to be about 90 pounds soaking wet. How does someone so tiny manage to overpower a grown man and snap his head off with a gigantic hutch like it was made of porcelain?
Even if we accept this, we run into some major problems. In her own flashback, she reveals herself as the killer, a fact that she isn't supposed to know about. Hell, she was apparently foreshadowing the twist in her own narrative. She would also be explaining scenes in which she was not present, including the cops witnessing the killer and Marie as separate people.
Home Alone: Harry and Marv's vendetta against Kevin in the second film. The exact words Harry uses at the start are One big score. We will get ourselves some phony passports and hightail it to some foreign country in other words they are going to commit one last job so they can evade the authorities and retire. Trying to murder a boy is slightly counter-intuitive to that goal somewhat. Yes he put you in prison and knocked out one of your teeth but guess what? You would have got away absolutely blissfully clean from your robbery of Duncans Toy Chest if you had just showed some modesty and left the kid alone.
Although, Kevin DID take their picture while they were robbing the store, so they'd naturally want to get those pictures from him before he alerts the cops. But then again, why NOT alert the cops instead of putting Harry and Marv through another Death Trap. And knowing that Kevin is apparently an engineering prodigy with his propensity for traps, Marv and Harry could've just went, Screw This, I'm Outta Here.
Let's not forget that the shark follows her there, as if it knows exactly where she's going. Somehow, it's able to get there in a matter of days. What? Did Bruce discover warp drive?
In fact, the shark is implied to be smart - so smart that it knows and accounts for things it should have no way of knowing. For example, it is pretty evident that the shark not only killed Sean, but ambushed him. Ken Begg's review had a particular bone to pick with this very frank example of Gambit Roulette.
The creeper from Jeepers Creepers slaughters an entire police precinct, but there's no major development of law enforcement in the sequel looking for this creature. Or at least no developments that follow the Rule of Perception.
The sequel even had a conversation heard over a police scanner about two abduction reports that sounded "out there".
The previous posts have apparently forgotten that the sequel takes place at least 20 or 30 years before the original. There's no way they would change the way the precinct is run for something that happens in the future. So your walls can rest easy.
The sequel takes place in the same week as the first. The end of the movie is 23 years after the rest of the movie, but that's all. The lack of police is most definitely a Wall Banger, even if the highway both movies were set around were massive (which was repeatedly mentioned). Then again, he wiped out almost the entire precinct, right? Who would be left to start a state-wide manhunt from a mostly unmanned police station in the middle of no where only 4 days later?
Federal Agents for one. There would be a small army looking for that creature in less than 4 days. Killing a whole police precinct is a VERY BIG DEAL, no matter how rural the area. Surviving policemen saw the thing as well. There's just no excuse as to why there isn't a sizable force combing the highways and skies.
Considering its a 23 year gap, maybe there was a massive search for some creepy serial killer who slaughtered the police. The investigation could have lasted years and never have noticed a strange looking scarecrow, which is pretty much what the creeper is when he's sleeping.
Accept there wasn't a 20+ year gap after the first film. The time skip doesn't happen till the creeper gets caught by that guy and his son.
Here's one good question. If the farmer got his hands on the Creeper while it was in its stasis/hibernation, why tie it to your wall and wait for it to wake up to try and kill it? Why not just have the thing cremated or something similar? It's practically immortal, but come on.
The Lo-Teks fight their enemies with crossbows and falling cars, in accordance with their low technology values. They also hijack satellite television signals to broadcast their own messages globally and use a cyborg dolphin to hack into human brains.
To be fair, the same contradiction occurs in the short story ("barbaric" tooth implants from dobermans?), where it's Lampshaded by Johnny.
Johnny points a gun at J-Bone and demands J-Bone tells him who he is. J-Bone immediately tells Johnny (a total stranger to the character at this time... who could be anybody... and who is pointing a gun at him) that he is the leader of the underground resistance that fights the corporations, and then J-Bone points to where his base of operations is. In a bit of Fridge Brilliance, however, this particular act of stupidity eventually does lead to all of the resistance movement's enemies finding out the location of their headquarters from Johnny.
Shinji's molecuwire whip can cut through anything you can think of... except for a chain-link gate for some reason.
One of Ralfi's bodyguards helps Shinji chase down Johnny and Jane after Shinji killed Ralfi. Why would she want to help the person who killed her own employer and the person she was supposed to bodyguard? Your guess is as good as mine.
Knowing. The ending: so a freak solar flare destroys the Earth, but don't worry - angelic aliens saved a bunch of kids so they can start the human race over on another planet. Never mind that the aliens knew about the flare fifty years earlier and never bothered to warn anyone who wasn't special. Never mind they probably could have taken millions aboard their spaceships and yet deemed less than 1% of the whole human race worthy of survival; which may cause one to wonder what gave them the right to decide to begin with. Also, within a few generations, those kids' descendants will be mad inbred.
You could've just put the whole movie in. Highlights include running directly into the flaming wreckage of a recently-crashed plane.
On the point of them knowing so far in advance they obviously had the time to help move people away if space on the ship was the issue.
Speaking of knowing in advance, why did they entrust the prophecies to a mentally unstable little girl who would allow them to be locked away for the next fifty years, only to be unearthed far too late to be of any use? Why not a scientist who would not only know how to decode them but also work with the aliens to rescue as many people as possible instead of just two per ship?
Also, the idea that any kind of solar flare could literally incinerate the Earth. Even a massive solar flare wouldn't do much more than hose up any electronics. That's a disaster scenario in itself, though obviously not as cool as the surface of the planet being consumed in a massive inferno. Hollywood Science, indeed.
We've also got the aliens choosing two pre-pubescent kids who, while certainly intelligent, probably don't have the skills to survive on their own and therefore probably wouldn't survive until puberty. I hope those other ships contained a few doctors, teachers, childcare experts or at least experienced adults.
This film is only kind of worth mentioning because it watched as one big scientology metaphor.
Not even remotely scientology, though, pretty much standard Christian, complete with Professor Doctor Nick Cage espousing Intelligent Design and a child-only Rapture at the very end. Also, solar flares don't fucking work that way.
At one point, Cage's son starts receiving messages about new disasters, when, in less than 24 hours, the surface of the Earth is going to be reduced to a smoldering crisp. What was the point of that?!
George Romero's Land of the Dead ends on a big one. After the (somewhat sympathetic) zombie Big Daddy appears to the Dead Reckoning crew, one of the crew members moves to fire at him and his horde until Riley stops her saying, "They're just looking for a place to go, just like us." Never mind that a Zombie Apocalypse just destroyed more than 99% of the world's population (leaving them with plenty of places to "go") or that Big Daddy's forces just decimated one of the last bastions of human civilization on the planet.
Romero speaks frequently about the "evolution" of the zombies from film to film. In the original, they just wanted food. In Dawn, they just want to shop and eat people. In Day, it's revealed their need to eat is purely instinctual, and they can get by just fine without eating. Land shows the zombies becoming aware of their abilities (you don't need to breathe underwater when you're already dead) and trying to live their unlives (Big Daddy tends to his service station, the band plays on in the gazebo) until the humans show up to bring unwelcome discomfort. They retaliate, not out of need for food, but because of lack of respect for their boundaries. The dead were clearly the victors in the man vs. zombie war.
The military's reaction to the invading horde. Don't they teach these people to aim for the head? It takes that one soldier in the beginning so much ammo to kill one immobile zombie you wonder if she can see straight. One guard, safe in a watchtower, looks down, sees the zombies surrounding the tower, and jumps down, getting eaten almost instantly.
They do not teach these people to aim for the head. They teach them to aim for the larger target, that being the chest. Alas, that only works for living creatures.
The movie takes place several years after zombies have become a fact of every day life. They see zombies every day, and every survivor by now knows that you have to shoot them in the head. If they're not teaching soldiers to shoot for the head at this point, that's just Too Dumb to Live.
You'd think that the military would have enough guns to deal with stuff like this, they should have at least hundreds of well armed soldiers armed with assault rifles, backed up with machine guns, tanks, helicopters etc. They should be able to handle a horde of thousands of unarmed walking corpses with nothing but the shirts their wearing.
In Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie) is searching for the second of two halves that make up The Eye of The Illuminati. She has already found one half in a secret storage room in her house, left by her father. Soon after, she is forced to chase members of the Illuminati across the globe for the better part of the film and stop them from using the talisman to find a time-altering device. Lara could have saved a lot of time had she destroyed her half of the key in the first place. That way, the Illuminati would have been denied the device forever. Or, better yet, if her father had destroyed that half when he realized what it was capable of uncovering. Like father, like daughter.
The Last Airbender had a lot, but everyone knows this one: The Earthbenders. On the show they were being held captive on a metal oil rig, far from any earth they could control. In the film, they were held captive in a hole in the ground. There was nothing whatsoever to stop them fighting back (Aang even points this out). What, were they on the honor system?
An even bigger Wallbanger is that the Fire Benders needed FIRE to use their ability. The only source of fire is an iddy biddy torch in the center of the camp. A torch sitting on a very flimsy stand. To top it off, apparently the Earth benders also had a weapons cache nearby.
This is even worse when you consider that at a few points, Zuko firebends without a source of fire anyway. At one point, he does this underwater.
When the Firebenders show up at the North Pole, they're told to put out all the torches in town so they can't weaponize them. When the Firebenders reach land, it doesn't look like they bothered doing this, as pretty much every torch is still lit. Either have the characters be Too Dumb to Live to not do anything about the fire or Genre Savvy enough to come up with the plan and execute it. The middle ground should not be to be smart enough to come up with the plan and then too stupid to actually do it.
A rather awful one shows up when they're discussing Aang's reasons for running away. It was changed from not wanting to deal with the responsibilities of being an Avatar to a rule that Avatar's aren't allowed families. Shyamalan, were you aware that Zuko and Azula are descendants of the previous Avatar, Roku? For that matter, why would a child raised by monks find that rule to be so horrific?
In the movie, there was no Koizilla, which might have been able to save the movie if it had been rendered in otherwise fairly good 3D. Instead, the fire nation's navy is scared off by Aang, or as he's called in this movie, Ong, creating a massive wave, in which no one dies. Also Zhao, instead of being killed in the wave, is drowned by four nameless waterbenders after putting up virtually no offense.
The movie tends to treat the female characters pretty badly. Everything a female character does is either completely removed or is done by a male. For instance, in the cartoon, Yue decides all on her own that her Heroic Sacrifice in becoming the Moon Spirit is the only way to fix the damage Zhao did. In the movie, Iroh basically tells her to do it. Considering that the plotline of Yue and Sokka "becoming fast friends" was completely summarized instead of shown, it basically reduced Yue to a Living Prop with funny hair.
Speaking of Yue's "funny hair", did noone notice that Yue looked like a giant penis? Did none of the staff look at this scene while in production and think "you know, Yue kind of looks like a penis in this shot. Maybe we should do something about her hairstyle or how it's shot so it doesn't look like we have a giant white erection sitting in the scene."
While all of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is somewhat off, the inclusion of Tom Sawyer as a young man stands out. The movie is set in 1899. The original Tom Sawyer was a young teen in pre-Civil War Missouri; the latest that "Huck Finn" could have been set was early 1861. Assuming Tom was 14 in '61, he would have been 52 years old at the time of the LXG movie.
Maybe it was Tom Sawyer Jr. in the film?
They only really added Tom to the movie to appeal to American audiences. Of course, that's why films withnoAmericansdo so badly!
Dorian Gray being an immortal who can only die if he sees his own picture. No. No. No.
The fact that it, until recently, seems to have been hanging on his wall, only adds more questions.
And also the fact that if he hadn't ever seen it for himself, how would he know for sure that it was aging for him? It seems like the scriptwriters just skimmed the original novel but missed the point; it makes a lot more sense as Wilde wrote it, that Dorian could look at the picture but simply found it unpleasant to do so.
The fact that it would have been just as effective, fit with the original story, AND MAKE SENSE if they changed it so that he died if the picture was destroyed. (A kick through the canvas would do it quite nicely.
The Little Mermaid has the scene where King Triton destroys the grotto. I know it's supposed to be an important plot point, but makes him look like a villain and it dampens and darkens an otherwise good musical movie.
In the film version of Lost in Space, the mutated spider version of Dr. Smith at one point says, "Within these eggsacks lives a monster race of SPIIIDERS!" So... the venom from space spiders not only causes humans to transform into mutant spider creatures, they also change the victim's gender?
They're nonhumanoid aliens, there's no reason to assume they even have a gender. Even if they do, a female spider-alien isn't that much further from a male human than a male spider-alien is.
How's about "Joey"'s decision to blow up the enemy ship. Yes, it was a good idea. When you're right next to it? Not so much. He's the moron responsible for their predicament in the fourth act.
In the movie, how exactly did they manage to end up in the exact same location as the Proteus? They could have been sent literally anywhere in the universe and as we find out any time in the universe and they just happen to go there? For that matter why was a rescue ship sent out to find them when they could literally be anywhere in the universe?
Better question: with planet Earth on the verge of a complete ecological collapse that would doom all life on it, who really has the time to search the entire universe for a single ship carrying one family? Shouldn't all resources have been diverted to completing the hypergate? For that matter, how are 3 scientists, 2 kids, a pilot and a robot going to build the hypergate that we see in Earth orbit, especially since we never once hear that the Jupiter 2 is carying equipment of any kind?
The Well-Intentioned Extremist in The Lost World: Jurassic Park is an eco-activist who's so much against the exploitation of the free-range dinosaurs that he sabotages the capture-team's equipment and gets a lot of people killed. Somehow, the fact that these dinosaurs are introduced species, and are no doubt wreaking havoc with the island's own indigenous ecosystem, never crosses his mind (or anyone else's). And it's doubtful that there's any place on Earth that they could be introduced to, since all these dinosaurs have been dead for tens (if not hundreds) of millions of years. But what the heck, who's going to miss another pristine neotropical rainforest?
Mein Führer - the truly truest Truth about Adolf Hitler. Plot: Hitler is too depressed to speak, so a Jewish acting coach (in fact, the same one who taught Hitler how to be a great orator) is called in to tutor him. While the general idea was good (another movie like Life Is Beautiful, or The Producers, or The Great Dictator, by a Jewish director - why not?), as was casting German comedian Helge Schneider as Hitler, the finished movie indecisively changes from parody to serious and back. Besides, the premise breaks Willing Suspension of Disbelief: Why should the biggest antisemite in history hire a Jewish acting coach, and why should a Jew willingly help a big antisemite?
First, he probably helped Hitler because he was afraid of being deported. Second, the thing about Hitler hiring Jews is truth in television. His mother's doctor, Eduard Bloch, was a Jew, and decades after her death, Hitler offered him protection until he emigrated to the United States.
In fact, in real life, when he was called out on one of several incidents of revisionism of the Judaism of a person or artistic work he happened to like, a frustrated Hitler replied, "I decide who is a Jew!" He was never particularly consistent about this point historically, so what is portrayed in the movie isn't really out of character; Hitler himself was just a hypocrite as well as a mass-murdering monster.
In the Swedish movie version of the second book from The Millennium Trilogy, a character near the end is incapacitated in the middle of the night, and buried alive. Morning rolls around and you assume this character to be dead, until the shot pans to around where they were buried, and you see them digging their way out despite having been buried alive for hours without oxygen. What. This isn't counting the multiple gunshots said character sustained just shortly before being buried either...
To be fair, the book says that the position the character fell into the grave allowed free space, thus providing enough air. Not bleeding to death from gunshot wounds is another matter entirely.
The Miracle on 34th Street remake's conclusion. The original made some sense: the post office informally decided to recognize Kris Kringle as Santa Claus, and the court formally decided to agree with the decision. The remake plays hell with the federal legal system. The "logic" is that "'In God We Trust' is on the dollar bill; therefore, the US agrees God exists; therefore this man must be Santa Claus". Not only is it a very long stretch of reasoning, but it tears apart all sorts of things. The court has just officially recognized Christianity as a state-sponsored religion and officially recognized the citizenship of two of its deities (or its main deity and a related demigod). Not only that, but the court's ruling opens the door for everyone claiming to be the Easter Bunny or Vishnu or Xenu to be officially recognized by the state as religious entities - totally breaking apart the separation of church and state and setting an insane precedent where the state recognizes supernaturally religious entities which may or may not exist as possessing a factual existence.
The resultant ending, out of context, sounded more like in argument for atheism than anything; a kind of If Jesus then Santa.
If you want to get technical, the proof went like this: 1) The U.S. government puts its trust in God based on the faith of its people 2) The people of New York have put their faith in Kris being Santa (as evidenced by that "we believe" montage) 3) Therefore, the State of New York can recognize Kris as Santa
In fairness, the real legal system has produced its own share of such Wall Bangers. There was a 1991 Supreme Court case which basically acknowledged the existence of ghosts.
Well, not exactly. What the court said was that since the seller of the house had been publicizing the house as haunted all over the place, and then conveniently forgetting to mention that to prospective buyers, that the people who started to buy the house that did not want it upon learning about said reputation should get their deposit back.
The alternative, keeping Kris in care for the mentally insane, would have been even worse for public morale, especially since the U.S court system does allow bending the law for certain cases. The judge jumped on this as a way out of making a call he and everyone else really wanted to avoid, while not leaving an opening for those who did want good ol' Kris put away to object (since they were the minority). Now, how Kris got there in the remake is even more infuriating: he basically turned himself in after clobbering someone, and he deliberately failed a psych test. <thunk>
What do you mean, in the remake? In the original, he clubs someone and then deliberately fails a psych eval as well ("I told them Calvin Coolidge was the first president.") The real Wall Banger in both movies is the entire "Is he or isn't he Santa Claus" is a specious argument, ESPECIALLY if the new version is in fact set in the real now. Instead of arguing whether or not Santa exists (something the prosecutor should have called Kris's lawyer out on) the state had to show he was not only mentally unstable but a real and present danger to others. It should not have, in either movie, taken much testimony to show that both 'victims' were intentionally or unintentionally provoking him, and Kris could easily have passed a genuine evaluation. The judge only had to say the court found he acted under severe emotional distress, was not mentally ill in a way that posed a clear danger to others, and was not a candidate for involuntary committal. At that point, if the prosecution wanted him locked away, they'd have to file criminal charges. There's no granting of dubious legal opinion to the postal service, no practical begging of any random atheist to help file an appeal and turn it into a case about state and church and at the bare minimum waste a lot of a higher court's time having to throw everything out, just a basic "He's unlikely to harm anyone else, request for committal denied, everybody go home."
Arguably the biggest wallbanger here is one that, whilst every Santa Claus themed movie based in the real world always makes it at some point, here it becomes a plot hole that derails the entire film - just postpone his trial until Christmas day. If they really have Santa locked up in a cell than there will be no presents sitting under the kiddies trees come Christmas morning. The problem comes when you realize why the script writers cannot use this completely logical and perfectly common sense approach: The small fact as to who these parents think is magically filling their houses with gifts every year. Because in order for this story to work in the way it is presented this universe has to be one in which Kris has retired and the only gifts are given by parents otherwise their scepticism that there isn't a Santa comes off as bizarre. Even if this isn't the case shouldn't there have been a time when he actually was delivering presents to homes? An event that should have been meticulously documented in official records across the world?
Mission: Impossible III: Hunt's first reaction to hearing his wife was taken was to run away from his own company. If he'd gone along quietly, then he probably wouldn't have been tied up in a Hannibal Lecter mask, and he could have explained the situation to the people who could help him resolve it. Instead of having the rest of his team become fugitives to help him, he could have gone ahead with the full support of the spy network. Almost the whole rest of the movie could have played out the same way. Talk about Fake Difficulty.
Because people act so logically when they hear their loved ones are in danger. Not to mention The Mole inside the organization who was manipulating Ethan into looking guilty, so the Agency wouldn't be able to figure out what was going on.
And keep in mind the context. Hunt runs to the hospital because he realizes his wife is in danger. Why is his wife in danger? Because the Big Bad's Mooks just staged a commando operation on American soil, with at least one civilian wounded. Why did they need to do that? Because Ethan captured the Big Bad. How? By leading an unauthorized kidnapping operation despite his Obstructive Bureaucrat boss telling him explicitly not to. He would be in trouble even without the terrorism his op resulted in.
Mission: Impossible 2's supreme Wall Banger occurs when Ethan infiltrates "Claw Island", Sean Ambrose's headquarters. He blows open a door leading to the room where Ambrose and the CEO of a pharmaceutical company are making a deal, and walks by, daring Ambrose to come out and face him. Ambrose sends his lieutenant, Hugh, and a fight scene commences between Hunt and Hugh that ends with both of them diving out of the way of a grenade. Hugh pulls a mute Hunt into the room a minute or two later, and comments to Ambrose that he thinks Hunt's jaw is broken. Ambrose ends up "shooting" Hunt to death, but then discovers that it's Hugh wearing a facemask of Hunt. How did Hunt have time to create a facemask of himself in that short a time, and where is the equipment he needed for the process?
Even more ridiculously, Ambrose had previously fooled two other people by showing up wearing a facemask of Hunt. And yet it didn't even occur to him that Hunt might have been doing the exact same thing? Apparently not. Given how Genre Savvy Ambrose proved to be earlier in the film - and the bit where he'd worked for the IMF before going rogue - the only way this makes sense is if he'd been repeatedly concussed with the Idiot Ball in the interim.
Only plausible explanation: Hunt had the mask with him all along. (If so, then his plans are damn complex...) He should have taken more masks of himself. The possibilities of making Mooks look like you are endless. It makes you wonder what else Hunt had in his surprisingly lightweight arsenal.
Given that Hunt killed countless mooks before and after, wouldn't it have been smart to eliminate the most dangerous enemy right then?
John Woo, if you switch the tyres on the bikes, don't show them in a closeup. What might be a simple goof turns ridiculous.
Making sense is not The Mummy Trilogy's strong point. But a real wall banger came in The Mummy Returns. So there are these guys who want to dig up Imhotep, right? And it's very explicitly Ardeth Bey's job to stop people from raising Imhotep. He says in the first movie that it even justifies killing innocent people, let alone people who are deliberately trying to raise Imhotep. So maybe he wasn't able to stop them from digging him up because oh noes, reincarnated Anck-Su-Namun is with them and she's a royal bitch who throws snakes at people. But he goes all the way to England, to the British Museum, comes in when the ritual is not actually over, has a line of sight to the person performing the ritual and doesn't even try to shoot him. He just stands there with Rick until Imhotep is brought back to life. Of course, someone else would had to have taken over or there'd be no movie, but how is it in character for him to not do everything in his power—especially a very obvious thing—to keep Imhotep dead?
Evie was being held prisoner during the ritual to bring back Imhotep. While Ardeth might not have cared about killing her to stop Imhotep in the first movie, now they were friends and he didn't want her dead. Having her armed husband standing right next to him probably helped convince him that doing something to endanger Evie was pretty stupid.
Another one that questions the competence and capability of Ardeth Bey AKA the Guardian of the Lost City. Right at the start of the first film he avoids gunning down a helpless retreating Rick because, and I quote, The desert will get him. YOUR JOB and sole purpose in life is to stop the planet destroying monster from escaping this secret magical city. Just because it was unlikely Rick would have survived the trek across the desert to the nearest city without supplies doesn't mean he couldn't. As a direct result of this decision Rick escapes and leads one half of an expedition that frees the monster under his care. Speaking of which; why didn't he kill Benny? Surely he must have left his hiding place and returned to civilization on foot at some point? Did Ardeth just decide the desert would get him too?
The fact that there is no Mummy whatsoever in the third film despite still being called The Mummy.
Other Films, N-Z
The Neverending Story 3. There is so much to complain about here, but what stuck out most was the Character Derailment of the Fantasians, Falkor and the Rockbiter in particular. Falkor was a noble bastion of wisdom in the original film. Here, he's a dim-witted coward. The Rockbiter was changed to the Rockchewer (WHY?!) and now lives on what appears to be the Dinosaurs set with his curler-and-apron-wearing wife, and his son who sounds like he's sniffing helium on the sly. And he rides a tricycle. While singing Born To Be Wild. The makers of this movie clearly neither watched the first two films nor read the original book.
Then there's the horrifically Hand WavedIdiot Plot. The reason why Bastian can't just use the AURYN the moment he comes back to the real world and end the conflict at the first possible moment? Because the Empress told him "no". It's a little more complicated than that (the Fantasians that went with Bastian were separated and if he uses it, the new Fantasia would lack them, but even then, Bastian serves up his fix to that problem and yet he's still refuted) but this Idiot Plot is what winds up becoming a very stupid and wall bangable moment, since this makes people like the bitchy stepsister and the antagonists all the more rootable, since they actually do something compared to Bastian.
In New Jack City, drug lord Nino Brown, in a last ditch effort to save his own hide, fingers one of his lieutenants as the real head of the Cash Money Brothers and promises that if he goes down, he's dragging a lot of people with him. Apparently, the D.A. on the case left her brain at home; not only does she take Nino (who they KNOW was responsible for several high profile murders, including a cop) at his word, but she also cuts him a deal on the spot for five years in return for testimony. The idea that the D.A. would even consider this deal was insulting enough; when we find out that this was all just to set up Nino's Karmic Death, it leaves a bad taste all around.
It should be noted that Darryl Whiting, the Boston drug lord Nino was based on, tried the same thing during his trial. Neither the prosecutor nor the jury bought it: he got life.
9 was a good movie; however, some major plot points were contrived as hell to justify having a story. Namely, the instructions to using the soul transference talisman. 5 people get killed in 9's quest to go back to the room he should have stayed in and examined in the first place to find his purpose. Then we're treated to a detailed cinematic of the origin of the machine that destroyed the world, and how 9 must stop it. Wonderful, but wouldn't it have been simpler to just write it down, and put it in 9's chest. "Take this here, press this, this, and this, remaining world is saved, no muss, no fuss." Everyone proceeds to rock out to Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
Could be partly justified as the Scientist did just have pieces of his soul sucked out, which, as it being his life source, probably made him tired, therefore more stupid. Though why he didn't think of that before, however . . .
9 only left the room without bothering to search it because he overheard 2 moving around outside. Can you really claim the Scientist was stupid for not anticipating that one of just ten mobile entities left on the entire planet would come strolling by that particular window, at precisely the wrong moment?
Why does the original robot need the scientist's soul to be brought back? The scientist specifically state that "the robot lacked the human soul." Thus, said robot wouldn't have had the little slot for the talisman in the first place, meaning once it was dead, it was dead. No real sense here.
When the Machine was first built, it was clear that it had no slot. However, in the Scientist's study, some plans with a design of a slot with the talisman in it was seen. Maybe the Scientist realized his mistake and built a slot for it in its body, not knowing that it was too late and that the souls wouldn't actually be absorbed into the Machine, and would just be stuck in the talisman.
As we see at the ending, the souls released into the sky cause it to rain small souls. It is entirely possible that some of the automatons had to die to allow the souls to multiply, and thus for any remaining automatons to build new ones.
Paparazzi has one of the biggest wallbangers of all time. The protagonist decides to start murdering paparazzi because they had caused a car crash that left his son in a coma, and the movie plays this off as totally acceptable Pay Evil unto Evil. Whatever. The absolutely unacceptable Dethroning Moment of Suck comes when the protagonist plants a bloody baseball bat in the final man's house, completely throwing the detective off of his trail even though he had overwhelming evidence that the actor was the murderer. Apparently, the idea that the actor could plant evidence never occurred to the detective, and despite the fact that evidence placed him at the scene of every other murder, he crosses him off of the suspect list and arrests the fourth paparazzi photographer.
Micah in Paranormal Activity is quite possibly the physical embodiment of this trope. The psychic at the beginning of the movie tells Micah to not antagonize the demon; what does he do? He antagonizes it almost every night that something happens. The psychic tells Micah to, under any circumstances, never, ever use a Ouija board to communicate with the demon because doing so would invite the demon into their home; what does he do? He borrows a Ouija board. The situation becomes progressively worse as time passes; does Micah listen to Katie and call a demonologist? Hell no; he thinks he can solve the problem himself. Once the demon has already dragged Katie out of her bed in the middle of the night, Micah decides that they should leave the house and stay in a hotel. He's about to leave, until, suddenly, Katie forgoes the notion and tells him to stay in the house for the night, despite the fact that she's been absolutely terrified the last week. Guess what happens in the middle of the night? Possessed-Katie kills Micah.
This, and the fact Micah only started taking this seriously when Katie got physically hurt. Until then, the demon was just full of parlor tricks. It fascinated him more than scared him. He wanted to solve everything by himself, because he thought he could outsmart it. He couldn't, and was a giant Batman-Gambit on the demon's part. He was fucking with Micah the entire time.
I actually attributed it to Micah being a skeptic to many things paranormal. This is why a lot of what he does can be argued that he's using the scientific method.
For people who study WWII history, another one is the statement that "P-40's can't outrun Zeroes. We'll have to outfly them!" Problem is, this is near when Americans were dogfighting Zeroes for the first time. The powers that be didn't know what they were capable of yet. Why should our leads?
The above Fridge Logic is unintentionally mitigated by the fact that the pilot's statement is completely wrong. The P-40 had a higher max speed than the Zero (both in level flight and while diving), but was less maneuverable. A horizontal dogfight is the worst possible tactic in this situation.
The aviators of the Imperial Japanese Navy at Pearl Harbor were among the most experienced fighter pilots in the world at the start of World War II. Most of the American fighter pilots were complacent at best. (This is averted with the leads of the movie, who have had other flying experience, but two pilots flying demonstrably inferior aircraft against the cream of the IJN requires a massive suspension of disbelief). The skill level of American pilots relative to Japanese pilots wouldn't level out until later in the war because the Japanese didn't rotate their best pilots into training billets periodically the way the Americans did. As the war went on, the Americans got better as the Japanese got worse.
Early on in the movie there is a scene the supposedly takes place at Mitchell Field on Long Island (it is now a shopping mall). Problem... there is a mountain in the distance.
The complete omission of the likes of Kenneth Taylor and George Welch. During the attack, Taylor, Welch, and a handful of others managed to get into the air and did whatever they could to fight back. In this movie, Rafe and Danny are the only ones to do so. (It's been said that Rafe and Danny were - at least in this part - supposed to be based on Taylor and Welch.) Having any fictional characters taking part in real-life events is nothing new to movies, but them being the only ones to perform a noteworthy act that real people did? Ridiculous and insulting. It stinks of a desperate attempt to make Rafe and Danny look like heroes and at the expense of real-life heroes. Unsurprisingly, Kenneth Taylor was quoted as denouncing the movie.
Rafe tells Danny that he volunteered to fly with Eagle Squadron in England. The problem with that? It was impossible for American military pilots to volunteer for military service in England prior to Pearl Harbor. If Rafe were going to fly with Eagle Squadron, he would have had to: resign his commision, travel to either Canada or England, renounce his American citizenship and become a British subject, then he could be admitted to Eagle Squadron. And he sure as hell wouldn't be flying with the US Army Air Corps a few months later after all that hassle!
Pet Sematary 2 never specifically explains what happened to Louis and Rachel Creed.
The resurrected baby in the original ruined the movie. Even if he is evil, how is he smart enough to plot murder? How is he strong and skilled enough to be any match for his victims, both of whom were awake and alert when he killed them? How did he carry his mother's body into the attic and hang her from there?
The book makes it clearer that he's not just an evil version of himself, he's possessed by evil spirits from the woods. So yeah, more intelligence, and presumably strength. The first draft of the screenplay made this clearer as well, being written by King himself.
By that logic, maybe the cat should have started killing people, too.
The cat did start killing people. It never got past one though.
The sequel completely ruins the let-the-dead-be-dead moral of the first book. Not only that, did they follow the first movie? Did the resurrected sheriff go on a violent rampage? No, he actually acts quite normal, if not for being rather disgusting at some parts. Not only that, but when Jeff resurrects his dead mother, she and the sheriff seem to be under Jeff's command. Did Mary Lambert even pay attention to the plot of the first movie? That. Doesn't. Happen. The zombies do not act civilized or anything. They're wrong. You spent a whole movie/book explaining that.
Planet of the Apes was a great movie, with a surprising understanding, love, and respect of science. But there was an inconsistency early on: Taylor says that he will travel 500 years into the future, then 2,000. We then see displays saying both 500 and 2,000 years. What?
The Polar Express: The film gave us the name of the poor boy, Billy, but the credits still show him as "Lonely Boy"?!?
In the Prince Caspian movie, the attack on the castle, start to finish. Peter deciding it was a good plan, Caspian's men agreeing to it, Caspian getting sidetracked by sudden vengeance on Miraz, Peter and Susan getting sidetracked by Caspian, not securing the gate before attacking guards, going on with the attack after the castle garrison was alerted... There is a reason that "storming the castle" didn't get past the discussion stage in the book.
Near the climax of this film, Caspian has Peter challenge Miraz to a duel. Peter defeats him but then decides not to kill him, instead offering his life to Caspian. In a move which is supposed to represent his maturing, Caspian also decides not to kill him - which leaves the way open for Sopesian to stab Miraz with one of Susan's arrows, cry treachery, and force a huge battle between the Telmarines and the Old Narnians. Since Caspian is a Telmarine who is on the side of the Old Narnians, this could have been a no-win situation for him in the long run; one of Peter or Caspian killing Miraz would've been more sensible. (The book doesn't have this situation - the henchman kills Miraz and cries treachery before the one-on-one between Miraz and Peter has finished, and so Caspian doesn't bear any responsibility there.)
There is also the end, after the dust has settled, where Prince Caspian returns triumphant to his kingdom... after having slaughtered the town guards several days previous. Not unheard of in movies, but the townspeople are practically throwing a party before their husbands/neighbors are even cold in the ground. Then again, both sides are.
The Susan/Caspian pairing. Need I say more? Well, for the purpose of the page, I obviously do: firstly, it's a classic example of Romantic Plot Tumor; secondly, it's rather creepy if you think about it, because Susan has been to Narnia more than a thousand years before Caspian was even born; thirdly (arguably), it makes Caspian look a bit douchey when he's chasing after a hot star chick in the next movie like nothing ever happened; fourthly, it looks very depressing in retrospective, because the final book in the Narnia cycle reveals that Susan will never come back to Narnia; besides, it's completely unnecessary from the dramatic point of view - the book was dramatic enough without that; and last, but definitely not the least, - the mighty King and Queen, the saviors of Narnia behave like generic starstruck teenagers.
The curse for The Princess and the Frog. Prince gets turned into frog, and requires a kiss from a princess to undo the spell. Okay, classic curse conditions and consistent with original story, thus far. Prince kisses lead female, thinking she's a princess...and she gets turned into a frog, as a result. Um...what? Where in the hell did they say that the spell was designed to turn the kisser into a frog, if she wasn't a princess? Interesting twist, but why the funky conditions for a botched spell breaking? There's no explanation to why this happens, and it doesn't seem like Dr. Facillier intended this to happen, so why did it? To further compound things, after Dr. Facilier is defeated, our heroes are stuck as frogs until the prince kisses a princess, but somehow the "non-princess turns into frog" clause gets nullified, since him kissing the former Mardi Gras Princess didn't turn her into a frog. The hell? Why would there be No Ontological Inertia with only part of the spell, but not the entire thing? It can't be because the spell is broken; it wasn't, at least not from Facillier's reaction to it (and, considering the bargain he's making with it, he should know for damn sure if it was broken), so in classic fairy tale cliche, his defeat should nullify the spell in its entirety, right? Even if we can forgive the ridiculousness of the fact that breaking the spell normally requires an insulting amount of technicalities (ie. kissing the temporary princess of the Mardi Gras celebration, and eventually by kissing our heroine, made a princess via marriage, that "non-princess turns into frog" clause is just stupid and handled poorly.
In the David Mamet film Redbelt, the ersatz UFC portrayed in the film decides to use a marketing gimmick in which, before every bout, each fighter picks a colored marble from a bowl to determine who will fight with one arm tied behind his back, which basically ensures that he will lose. Ignoring that MMA seems to have no safety regulations in the film's world - this gimmick would defeat the whole point of the competition, reducing it to luck. Imagine if the Superbowl coin toss determined which team could only field five players to the other team's eleven. No one would bother watching. On top of that, it turns out that the masked bearer of the marbles is (surprise!) a stage magician who rigs which fighter gets the handicap, thus deliberately fixing each fight. The fixes would be so obvious that they would never get past even the dimmest bookie.
Normally, Remember Me would have been quickly forgotten after its release; the only real hook that it had was that it was a romance movie starring Robert "Edward Cullen" Pattinson. The ending, however, made it truly a moment of complete stupidity. The ending features Pattinson's character going to the World Trade Center where his father works and getting killed in the 9/11 attacks. Audiences were mostly angry at this ending because it not only came out of nowhere just to have a surprising ending, but because it was fricking offensive.
Regardless of how many years have passed, it's still the mother and father of all modern-day emotional cheap shots. It was a fanfic cliche for years before they filmed it.
It's not even so much that it's too soon, but that literally nothing about the movie hinted at this fact at all. It just came right out of nowhere and is just a very stupid ending. And to be blunt, arguing that ten years after 9/11 is no longer too soon is a little stupid. It's that kind of thing where, at least in the country where it happened, will probably always be something of a sore spot, even if it isn't completely Too Soon.
Even if you were to grant it as no longer being Too Soon, trying to sucker punch the audience like would still be a stupid ending no matter how far into the future this movie could have been filmed and released.
In Repo Men, there are repeated references to people who have multiple artiforg kidneys, or one artificial kidney and one natural. But thousands of real-life organ donors and recipients are thriving with a single kidney, so why would anyone shell out a fortune for a second artiforg kidney — or risk winding up on Remy's collection list — if they already have one (real or otherwise) that works?
Single kidneys resort to hyperfiltration to compensate the missing one. This stress is not healthy for the organ, and in the long term can mean renal failure, (particularly if it's not in a prime state to begin with). Thus, in a way, buying a second kidney might be money saving in the long run. It's not unseen to have people with more than one kidney graft.
Repo Men is a diverse and impressive collection of Wall Bangers that at times seems almost intentional. First of all, where is this taking place? And why can people only hide in a city filled with Repo Men, as opposed to somewhere far off in the country. Why doesn't anyone own a gun? Even if they are illegal to own in the future, a lot of these people are living on the fringes of society anyway. If I work for someone and their broken defibrillator destroys my heart (why did it destroy his heart?) I'd expect my medical bills to be paid, as well as a generous settlement for my pain and emotional distress, or at least for them to not perform the organ replacement without my approval. But worst of all was that despite all of this the film still has entertaining sequences where Jude Law beats people with hammers, Forrest Whitaker finds redemption, and the bitch ex-wife gets knocked unconscious by Jude Law's son. They have a satisfying if somewhat sappy ending where the evil corporation is taken down and everyone's happy on the beach and then Retcons all of it! As it turns out, Jude Law had been hooked up to a simulation of his own personal fantasy and the second half of the movie was All Just a Dream Why? Did someone think anyone would leave this film happy with such a ridiculously ludicrous plot twist?
Rise of the Planet of the Apes is pretty much kicked off by a massive plot hole that just gets more ludicrous the more one thinks about it: How did no one notice that Bright Eyes had a baby? Even if you can swallow that dozens of scientists and professionals (including one brought in specifically for his expertise with primates) missed the pregnant ape, they were doing drug testing. One of the first things - if not the first thing - you do when testing experimental drugs is to do a full physical work-up on your test subjects; both to establish a physical baseline to compare effects to, and to make sure your subjects don't have any conditions that could skew the results of testing. One would think pregnancy would be one of the things you look for.
Another skullslammer: Will (the main human character) considers ALZ-112 a failure because his father eventually developed resistance to it and his Alzheimer's came back with a vengeance. "Eventually" in this case, is seven years. A drug that could not only stop Alzheimer's in its track but make the patient's brain functions better than new for years? The company that made such a drug could name their price.note current Alzheimer's drugs can only slow the disease down. And Will abandons it because it wasn't permanent. What an Idiot!
The worst wallbanger in this film is a simple case of mathematics. Now not everyone reading this is a math whiz, but try to follow along anyway: a few hundred enhanced apes declare war on a few billion humans. And the humans have automatic weapons and helicopter gunships and tanks and bombs. Even if the apes were able to inflict 100:1 casualties (100 dead humans for each dead ape), they would lose through simple attrition long before the last human was conquered.
That is because, as is implied at both the end of the film and more or less stated in the original series, that the more aggressive ALZ-112 goes on to become a global pandemic and wipes out most of humanity, leaving whatever is left to be enslaved by the apes.
Tommy Wiseau's The Room. Lisa is cheating on Johnny with his friend, Mark. When she throws Johnny a birthday party, everyone goes up to the roof at some point, and Lisa gets the brilliant idea to make out with Mark right there on the couch. With dozens of people just outside, including the guy she's cheating on, who could walk in at any second.
Numerous parts can be chalked up to this, like the throwaway scene where the characters throw around a football; not only does the scene fail to advance the plot, the characters are throwing the ball wearing suitsfor no fricking reason whatsoever.
This is The Room we are talking about—it's "Wallbanger: The Movie".
From The Film of the BookThe Scarlet Letter starring Demi Moore, Mituba and the Native Americans saving the leads. The film was almost glorifying slavery with the devoted, submissive black woman who literally could not speak. And never mind all the serious crap the Native Americans went through - it seemed their only purpose here was to cause tension and eventually save the three white 'heroes'.
And then Hester Prynne walked out onto the scaffold...with a golden letter stitched to her chest.
Quoth Demi Moore:
"Well, hardly anyone has read the book!"
She clearly went to a very different High School than the majority of people in her generation...
Not to mention that Mituba's name is blatantly Tituba from The Crucible with one letter changed. "Hey, about this lone female slave we've decided to insert into the story about white Puritans in colonial Massachusetts — what kind of name would a character like that have?" "I don't know, but whatever you settle on, make sure not to put any thought into it. We want to be crystal clear about her status as a completely dehumanized stock character."
Sex and the City: The Movie. Why the fuck didn't Carrie just go back to the wedding and marry Big? He had thirty seconds of doubt, immediately realized he was being a prick and turned back, and she treats it like he stood her up at the altar. The wedding hadn't even begun yet, and having cold feet is so common it's its own trope. Made a billion times worse because she has Heroic BSOD about it in Mexico (Samantha has to spoon feed her at one point to get her to eat anything) and doesn't really get over it for the better part of a year. And no one treats this as overreacting. Jerkass Sueahoy.
Especially since she was wearing blue Manolo Blahnik shoes.
The implication that Miranda's one stressed-out, angry, off-the-cuff remark to Big about how marriage sucks, somehow contributed to him getting cold feet. I'm sorry, how old is Big?
For me, the entire premise of the film's ending is a wallbanger. Sex and the City was supposed to be about female empowerment and liberation, and yet Carrie forgives Big for standing her up at the altar. It's okay, because he just needed a bit of reassurance! Like a child! So it's completely okay that he broke her heart and humiliated her in front of half of New York. When they do finally end up getting married, it's in a depressingly small, unglamorous ceremony - the direct opposite of everything her party-, style- and society-obsessed character would want. And this is supposed to be a happy ending?? We're supposed to find this thrilling romantic? Jesus.
The assertion that "Sex and the City was supposed to be about female empowerment and liberation" when the entire series has been nothing but female gender stereotype after female gender stereotype gives me a headache.
Oscar's plan to steal the Vanderville gem collection in Short Circuit 2 is nonsensical:
He's a bank teller at the bank the jewels are stored in. He has access to a computer scam artist. Hasn't this guy ever heard of embezzlement? He and his computer flunky could swipe ten times the worth of the jewels that way. Instead, he has the guy tunneling under the vault to get to the jewels, which is convoluted and time-consuming.
He plans to smuggle them out of the country in plastic dinosaurs. Even his lackies question the idea, and with reason:
Hard rocks + plastic container = tons of loud rattling that would tip off customs.
Loud rattling + hard rocks = scratched up and damaged rocks. Yes, risk damaging the goods before you can sell them, risk devaluing them beyond a reasonable price drop. Good one, Oscar.
There's also the issue with Ben in the second movie:
First of all, the SAINT project he worked on was a top-secret military project. Wouldn't he get in trouble for selling toy versions of the robots, even if the project itself went belly-up?
Why in the bloody hell is he selling toys on a street corner?! It's shown, when Fred tries selling off Johnny 5, that Ben's name is well-known in the cybernetics circuit, to the point where he'd no doubt be hired by them on the spot, had he actually applied. What, did the events of the first movie so taint his view of working for corporations that he thought working for himself was the safest bet? Apparently not, because in the unreleased third movie, he mopes about not being cut out to be a salesman and eventually gets a job at a California university's space division.
Word Of God, however, does not explain how water is described as anti-alien by Shyamalan's own Author Avatar and is instrumental in pushing the aliens off Earth entirely. . The surface of the planet is 75% water, not to mention water literally falls from the sky (precipitation). Plus there is moisture in the air of this planet. All the white puffy clouds are water vapor The atmosphere contains water. Whatever you are, if water melts you, then going anywhere near a planet with so much water is suicidal.
Not to mention running apparently unscathed through a cornfield in the middle of the night, which any farm kid can tell you would leave you soaked in dew on the other end.
And if it's all holy water — how did they drive the aliens out of countries that don't believe in holy water?
Earlier in the movie, the son picks up a book from his local bookstore about aliens and uses that to predict that the aliens aren't going to launch huge conventional attacks on the planet for fear of nuclear retaliation. Even ignoring that they are treating a book on a hypothetical alien invasion that was probably written by a hack as the best source of advice — how can anyone be sure that these aliens couldn't counter a nuclear weapon?
Pretty sure that was explained as "aliens" wouldn't be personally threatened by the nukes, but the use of nukes would do so much damage to the planet that they'd no longer have any use for it.
In Silent Hill, they genderbend Harry and then needlessly insert another male character because there were now too many chicks. Are men somehow not capable of being nurturing, loving Action Dads who would go to hell and back for their daughters? Did they think that Harry, a complete stranger, proving a better parent than Cheryl's biological mother would raise too many Unfortunate Implications? ARGH!
An interview with the director about this only adds to the wall banging. He explained that he reworked Harry as Rose because, in his view, Harry was acting like a mother and a woman (he was clearly afraid of the situation but overcoming it to rescue Cheryl); he thinks that the audience would never accept a male lead who's not an action hero. That the original game, with its non-stereotypical treatment of Harry as an ordinary father, was a big enough hit that it led to an ongoing series and to the movie he's directing apparently never crossed his mind.
Back to Cheryl's biological mother: her Character Derailment in the film was, for lack of a more sensitive term, completely fucking retarded. One of the nastiest characters from the game series got turned into a saintly old woman just so the filmmakers could take yet another tired, overwrought cheap shot at organized religion. You know, the sort that stopped being daring or edgy years ago.
Besides the idiocy of character changes, why would Rose ever bring Cheryl to Silent Hill? Two things are made very clear very early on in the movie. The first is that Cheryl is in no condition to be going on long trips anywhere without easy access to expert medical care, and the second is that everyone knows how dangerous Silent Hill is. They don't know about the who hell dimension thing but they do clearly know that the town had to be evacuated because of dangerous coal fires that are still burning years later. What sane parent would ever bring their child to the town?
The Korean movie Singles. One of the main characters has a one night stand with her male friend and ends up pregnant. She decides to keep the baby but for no reason at all, refuses to tell her friend that he will have a son or daughter, going so far as to plead with her female friend not to tell him. This is despite the fact that he is a caring person, is responsible, and is wealthy. Meanwhile, she has a low paying job, is known to be flighty and disorganized, and doesn't seem capable of raising a baby on her own. Obviously, the two characters don't have to get married or even live with each other but if a person is going to raise a child, it's always a good idea to get support from a father who would obviously be willing. That's to say nothing of the fact that the man was her friend and it just comes off as mean spirited not to tell him he has a child. This is all played up as if it's a happy ending somehow.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger film The 6th Day centres around the premise that the main villain is trying to achieve immortality by legalizing human cloning; a procedure we witness several times from both himself, his henchmen and our lead... so far, so good. The problem comes when you realize the fact that he is copying rather than downloading his mind as proven by his botched cloning procedure in the final battle. In other words he is murdering, kidnapping and committing major fraud in order to grant himself the appearance of immortality. Sure it has obvious advantages when it comes to replacing your Redshirts (although one must be forced to wonder what they ultimately thought about this procedure) or secretly cloning a sports star who you have invested serious capital in but when it comes to your ultimate goal of living forever in perfect health it becomes fairly counter-intuitive when all you are actually doing is a simple Copy and Paste.
A Sound of Thunder, the film, has time travel physics and biology so wonky that they obviously didn't care. In no particular order:
The death (and subsequent removal) of one butterfly somehow affects the evolution of all multi-cellular life from then on, when this butterfly absolutely would have died in the volcanic eruption that always happens five minutes after the trip ends.
The Delayed Ripple Effect comes in waves which only alter a particular form of life, starting with the things that evolved first and ending with humans. Evolution does not work that way no matter how you try to rationalize it.
The waves effect life and only life; all the things humans have built remain untouched even after humans get zapped by the final wave.
The waves are shown to occur in more than just the present when the protagonist is sent back to the old west by mistake. Surely the man-eating spiders, super-baboons, psychotropic vines, and myriad of other human-killing life caused by the time waves would have wiped out our isolated ancestors and any attempts at civilization long before reaching the present.
The big attraction of the time travel safari is that you can go back in time and kill a dinosaur. No, wait, that's wrong. It's not a dinosaur, it's the same dinosaur. This practically invalidates the entire film. If you can go back to the same point in time, a theoretically infinite number of times, and never encounter previous versions of yourself doing the exact same thing, then you cannot possibly be intruding on your own personal timeline. This must be a nearly identical, parallel timeline, one which cannot have any effect on your present because you can't go back and see yourself at the exact same point. Except at the end of the film, where you totally can.
Space Cowboys: Hawk (Tommy Lee Jones) staying behind instead of Frank (Eastwood) is a ridiculous decision bordering on suicidal for the rest of the crew. Why? because with Roger injured Hawk is their only remaining pilot. Remember the scene earlier in the film where he effortlessly landed the simulated shuttle with the guidance computer switched off? Frank only manages the same trick through pure luck rather than skill. The whole crew needed Hawk. Eastwood should have taken a command decision and sacrificed someone else. The fact Hawk only had eight months to live from his cancer and wanted to die in space is irrelevant.
The Strangers is chock-full of wallbangers! First, we have the leading lady being terrified by nothing more than knocks; then the boyfriend arrives, sees her almost in shock, and doesn't believe her. THEN the best friend arrives after a while and sees destruction; his own windshield is destroyed, loud music comes from the house... His answer? Call the police? No, that's too easy. Go inside and get killed? You got it... Then the house has been easily broken into and the guy... tells his girlfriend to stay there while he goes to call for help on the radio. What a trio of morons.
To expand on the last one, the couple had a shotgun and some ammo; the three villains had an axe and two knives. The couple had holed up in the bedroom with the shotgun facing the only entrance, and so it was game over in the short term because there was no way for the villains to come in without getting shot. The guy decided to go for the radio, which is fair enough — if they just stayed, there would still be the problem of eventually falling asleep. But going on his own was a bad idea for both of them. If Liv Tyler had gone with him, she could have helped him keep an eye out for the villains, and made sure they didn't sneak up on him and grab the gun. Instead, she was left a sitting duck — alone, with no weapon and with the villains almost certainly knowing her location. That they didn't kill her there and then was most likely just because they were doing all this For the Evulz and didn't want the fun to end yet.
The shotgun is a good point. If you have a gun and the bad guys don't, you can just walk out to the street and keep right on walking until you get somewhere safe.
To make matters worse, this movie has a "based on true events" tag, but the way the story unfolds, there's no way that even the best detectives could have come up with that level of detail, especially with details like the masks.
Clark Kent? Who's that? The film features Clark maybe 5 minutes. In addition, no one, repeat NO ONE seems to notice or care that Clark Kent and Superman disappeared and reappeared at the same time. Not even Lois who in Superman II was obsessed with proving Clark = Superman.
Lex Luthor is released at the beginning of the film (offscreen) because Superman failed to show up to Lex's appeal hearing. The only problem is that Superman had (by the time the movie begins) already been gone for close to 5 years. What kind of court relies on the testimony of a superhero who hasn't been seen by anyone in years? And when did an appeals court suddenly require witnesses to come forward?
For those who don't know civil procedure, just about all the evidence seen by an appeals court was already introduced at the trial level, and new evidence is actually inadmissible except under extraordinary circumstances after the initial trial.
After deciding to sneak aboard Lex Luthor's boat to find out what caused the blackout in Metropolis, Lois Lane not only takes her child along with her, but doesn't bother to take her cell phone in case she's in danger. What an Idiot.
Thom Holbrook wrote an essay pointing out that Superman is dumber than a bag of hammers in Returns.
The big inspiration for Superman Returns is when Superman and Lois had sex, what if he got her pregnant? Thus the need for him to be gone five years so that he could return to discover he has a son. That also means that, clearly, Superman left before he knew Lois was pregnant, we can assume he left shortly after Superman II. Really shortly. He's Superman. He would be able to see Lois was pregnant very early on with his vision. Lets say he leaves… two months after the end of Superman II. So in Superman II he painfully learns that he must put the needs of Earth ahead of his own personal desires. He apologizes to the President for being away so long (he was gone maybe a week or two) and that he won't let him down again. Then two months later he leaves Earth without telling anyone on a personal five year long wild goose chase. He also leaves without covering his bases. He doesn't secure the dangerous tech in his Fortress of Solitude. He doesn't make sure his departure won't result in Lex Luthor's release from jail. He doesn't even apparently warn the President he's leaving. His actions fly in the face of everything he learned in Superman II and everything he swore to do. Dumb as a bag of hammers.
The whole scene where Superman saves the boy at Niagara Falls is several bangers for the price of one:
First, there's the obvious fact that both the boy and his mom are each firmly holding an Idiot Ball. The boy playing on the opposite side of the rails looks like he should be more than old enough to know better. And the mom? She just glances at him when he's fooling off risking his life and says "oh yeah honey, that's nice.". Horrible parental supervision is an understatement.
The reason Lois begins suspecting Clark is Superman is not only because she sees him while Clark isn't in the area, but because she wonders why he would suddenly show up in the middle of Niagara Falls of all places. Excuse me, but didn't Superman just save you up in Paris just a little while ago? And wasn't he seen in California before that (ie, Superman I)? Why would it be any more shocking that he also shows up in Niagara Falls?
Clark gets his own idiotic moment when Lois tells him what happened and he plays dumb, saying that he didn't see Superman in the area at all. Considering that he was supposed to be outside at a refreshment stand where everyone in the area could clearly have seen him fly away even if they didn't view the rescue beforehand, couldn't he have said something like "Oh yeah Lois, I saw him fly away while I was getting the hotdogs! What was he doing?" Nope, instead he pretends to be the one person in the entire area not to notice his alterego even though the only way that could happen was if you were blind. Yeah, that doesn't sound suspicious at all Clark.
Suspect Zero. While the movie is worth a rental just to see Aaron Eckhart and Ben Kingsley, they expect us to believe that the so-called "Suspect Zero" was able to abduct and kill hundreds of children, dumping them thousands of miles apart, without getting caught because his methods had specific MO. Putting aside the question of why no one ever tracked him down with traditional methods of investigation, this suspect drove the same 18-wheeler the entire time, abducted only children, transported them around in the truck, tortured them all, and apparently had dozens buried under rather obvious mounds of dirt on his private property.
The Thirty Days Of Night sequel starts the same way as the first film, with no investigation into what happened to the small town. They just rebuilt and went on with their lives. Man, those people are stubborn.
The Apocalypse scenario in the 2002 film version of The Time Machine. It had the world be devastated when the nuclear excavation charges used for a moon colony shifted the Moon out of orbit. The Moon is not some little asteroid that can be shifted around with a few nuclear blasts; it's a world with an appreciable fraction of Earth's mass. The energy requirements to shift the orbit of something like that are enormous, more than the entire present nuclear stockpile of the world, even using the most unrealistically large assumptions. The Bad Astronomer once guesstimated it to be a similar order of magnitude to the atomisation energy of the moon.
Later in the film, Jeremy Irons' character, the head of an underground cannibalistic race, is hanging out of the time machine with only his hands inside the time traveling bubble. Guy Pierce starts to travel forward in time very quickly. Thus, he ages quickly (from Guy Pierce's viewpoint inside the fast-time-traveling bubble) except for his hands inside the time machine.... No, no, no! He would have lost sensation in his hands due to a complete difference in timestreams and let go, or else he would have died of thirst within a couple of days from his perspective, or else he would have had his hands cut off and then fallen to his death, since nobody can see the time machine while it's time-travelling (according to events earlier in the film)..
The trailer for 2012 begins by proclaiming the Maya to be "the world's oldest civilization." So we already know that they don't know their history.
Of course, this whole film is based on one huge honking Critical Research Failure. For those not yet aware: THE MAYA NEVER EQUATED THE END OF THEIR CALENDAR WITH THE END OF THE WORLD.
Though the trailer plays up the Mayan angle a fair bit, the film itself forgets about it fairly quickly (I think there are two throwaway lines along the lines of, "And the Maya knew all along. Bastards!"). The utter fail here is that the world is ending because of neutrino interactions. However, once they show the neutrino detector boiling, it becomes So Bad, It's Good.
Seriously though, what the fuck does "the Neutrinos have mutated" mean? And how are Neutrinos (You know, the particles whose defining feature is that they don't interact with matter) supposed to cause earthquakes, tidal waves, magnetic field reversals, etc. etc. etc.? And how is it possible for the Himalayas to flood? And how did Charlie know about the super Top Secret information about the disaster? And how did Gordon manage to pull off all those stunts with BASIC FLIGHT TRAINING? And why did anyone think that only saving the rich, famous, and influential people was a good idea? And why...you know what, that movie had wallbangers basically every second.
The last one is actually addressed directly in the movie: nobody thought saving the rich, famous and influential was the best plan. However, they needed all that money and influence in order to complete the Arc project, and couldn't very well turn around afterwards and go "So, guys, thanks for the umpteen billion dollars, but now you guys have to stay behind while we sail away to prosperity. Byesies!"
In The Vampire's Assistant, Crepsley arranges for Darren's apparent death by breaking the kid's neck and tossing him off the roof. He promises to "fix" the broken neck later. But in most states, an autopsy is legally mandated if a healthy person dies unexpectedly. Even if it's apparent that the kid died in an accidental fall, the M.E. has to check the body for possible contributing factors, such as alcohol or drug use. Darren should've had his guts on a scale and his brain in a bowl, which is more than the film's vampires can recover from.
Adaptation Induced Plot Hole. The novel is set somewhere in the UK, or (given the real Darren Shan's background) Ireland. It doesn't matter what states have what autopsy rules, as Darren isn't American.
In the 2005 version of The War of the Worlds, the alien tripods emerge from underground rather than arriving from space. The assumption is that the invaders had hidden their vehicles in various locations on Earth, long before anyone was living there. But if these same aliens visited Earth in prehistoric times, why didn't they subjugate humanity's ancestors way back when, instead of waiting until we became advanced enough to actually put up a fight? How did thousands of buried tripods go unnoticed by miners, seismologists, and spelunkers, and undisturbed by earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, and landslides, for all of human history? And most of all, why didn't the aliens know that Earth's native microbes were lethal, if they'd been here already?