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This is a list of silly, or Just for Fun wild mass guesses for the series Umineko no Naku Koro ni. More serious entries should go in one of the open pages.Please add new entries to the bottom of the page. Genji is a Genie
The names are only a few letters off,and in a strange way it would make sense. The roulette? His three wishes.
The series is a stealth sequel to Hitherby Dragons
Beato and the Mariage Sorcerie are gods created by Maria, in the same way that Eva-Beatrice is a god born to answer Eva's suffering. Battler ascended as a Hero during the tea party at the end of Legend of the Golden Witch: hence his growing supernatural power and inability to affect real events (the blood of the People of Salt is strong Kinzo's family). And the Monster...
...there is no monster. There's just folks, trying to get by.
The "Pendragon-sama" the Siestas report to is not Arthur, but Arturia Pendragon.
Because why not? There are apparently trillions upon quadrillions upon quintillions upon googleplexes of kakera out there; why couldn't one of them be the Nasuverse?
Umineko = Code Geass
Umineko no Naku Koro ni takes place entirely in the universe of Code Geass. This would explain the names being mostly European even though the series takes place in Japan (excuse me, Area 11). That's really about it. I mean look at the costumes, they look Britannian.
One or more of the characters has a Death Note.
This is all but confirmed in Umineko Hell; who's to say it might not apply to canon? Hell, maybe Beatrice herself has been controlling the deaths through the Death Note all along and is only making Battler think magic might be the cause because she's afraid of what would happen if the note fell into the hands of Battler.
Umineko is actually a romance!
That explains everything. Kihihihihi.
Kyrie:"Fufufu, can great detectives deduce the emotions and feelings between men and women? They can't, right? Figuring out the feelings of the opposite sex is an even more advanced art than exposing the tricks in difficult crime cases. If you ask me, romance novels have much deeper mysteries than masterpiece mystery novels."
'Beatrice' is the name of the smog monster from Lost
All mysteries can be explained by this.
Beatrice is actually a teapot.
Ryukishi07 visited friends in South Korea before writing out the plot
...and while he was there, they showed him this funny American game that's very popular where they live. It has aliens; and guns; and online multiplayer. But the people online are a buncha eleven-year olds, and Ryukishi07 decided to write about his experiences in his next series of VNs.
Kanon is Kannon
Headscratchingly ambiguous gender, vaguely defined magical powers... it's a snap!
Maria is the reincarnation of Mary.
It's stated in Episode 4 that MARIA has the maternal power to give birth to 1 from the sea of 0. That's not exactly subtle is it? Other hints include the cross in her name, the murders in the chapel being dedicated to her, her belief in the guidance of a higher being, and most of all, the rarity of her death. I surmise that being the one chosen to give birth to The Messiah would make her too holy to be touched by Beatrice and the Stakes. Also, perhaps the Eiserne Jungfrau appearing from heaven to execute the hellish forces on Rokkenjima is evidence that God is protecting his "investment".
The whole thing is due to Bernkastel and other witches achieving Medium Awareness and wanting to lash out at Us Bastards.
In the Tanabata side story, when Bernkastel goes to grant a wish, she repeatedly addresses the audience, belittling us and accusing us of wanting to see her twist wishes about horribly and do terrible, horrific things with her magic. This isn't just a You Bastard attack, however: it's her Motive Rant. After the hell all the Rikas were put through in Higurashi, Bernkastel gained Medium Awareness and came to realize that everything that happened was for our amusement. So she can write off her being a Complete Monster as just Pandering to the Base, with the intent of giving us all a massive Heel Realization and sending us into a shared BSOD. And anyone who doesn't go into a BSOD upon the revelation are just proving that Humans Are Bastards.
The real (meta-)reason why everyone's rich...
After the True Ending, Battler goes back to Ancient Rome and becomes Plautus, where he uses the events of the final loop as the basis for The Pot Of Gold. He then becomes meta-Battler somehow, and uses the events of the rest of the series to write the lesser-known (but more accurate) The Aristocrats. Over time, The Aristocrats is corrupted through Memetic Mutation from a fantasy/mystery/romance/whatever about repeated murders and a Big Screwed-Up Family into the joke we all know. Hence the plot reason for all the money; he couldn't call it "The Aristocrats" if it wasn't about aristocrats.
The Siestas are/were/know The Prismriver Sisters
Erika Furudo is a distant descendant of Hercule Poirot
Crime-solving runs in the family. Also, between the arrogance and the talk of "little grey cells", I found it easy to see her as a less amiable relative of Poirot's.
EVA/Eva-Beatrice is AM as a cute girl.
Let's see:
The Golden Butterflies are nanomachines in blood stream reaching the brain.
Kinzo, being a genius in the stock market, invested in nanomachine technology when he learned of his cancer, and secretly had a lab in the other mansion. Beatrice is the codename of the nanomachine project and the nanomachines were set loose by accident. The Golden butterflies illusion are a side effect of the nanomachines attacking the body. The Japanese government sealed of the island to take over the research. The pioneering work set by Kinzo's investment led to the events in the Cowboy Bebop Movie.
Umineko is an open-source MMORPG in the Higurashi universe.
Witches are mods, and the Game Master is the server admin.
Beato's server, Rokkenjima, was originally an RP-heavy Modern Horror game, but then she decided she wanted to switch to Urban Fantasy. She announced this, and it was generally well-recieved, until Battler started ranting at her about how you can't Genre Shift in mid-story without anything in the plot to indicate that it was coming up. They argued about it on the fora for a while (and a few of the others agreed with him), until Beato tried to shut Battler up by giving him mod priviliges and basically saying "okay, you're so good at this, you tell a story" as well as a sternly-worded lecture on what would happen if he abused his new powers. Naturally, with two authors arguing over which direction the story should take, things started getting weird. Beato recruited Rika to help restore order without having to revert Battler's account, and she brought along a few other characters (including Takano's old character Lambdadelta, now played by Satoko). Beato eventually wound up meeting Battler IRL and they hit it off. After a while, Beato started running out of ideas and got the mods together so that she could figure out an excuse to give someone the admin account.
Rotti Largo is a descendent of the Ushiromiya family.
Hello, rich old villainous man who hates his family for being weak and only wanting his money, extols the values of gold, and wants to punish the woman he loves for getting away from him!
There's no way Kinzo and Rotti aren't related. This makes even more sense if Beatrice actually was Italian; Rotti just reached back to his mother's(?) heritage.
Bernkastel and Lambdadelta are/were/will be Digidestined.
There exists a Digimental of Miracles, and a Digimental of Destiny. Furthermore, every Crest shown corresponds to a Digimental. Therefore, every Digimental in the Digimon anime must have a corresponding Crest. No human could exhibt the traits neccesary to earn the Crest of Miracles or the Crest of Destiny. However, the Witch of Miracles and Witch of Certainty would certainly exhibit those traits. Every Crest shown belongs to a Digidestined.
The End...
...is gonna be a rickroll.
Umineko is one big story created by the Higurashi gang
Certain parts are created by certain characters; Maria related stuff are both Satoko (/Satoshi?) and Rena related and Battler parts are Keiichi related, for example. Kanon having a machete was put in by Rena. It would explain design similarities too, and why the story is so troll at times.
Beatrice is responsible for the Adaptation Decay in the anime.
Because she decided to use a different tactic to both give Battler more hints and screw with his head some more: Show the murders in anime form. The constant Fanservice shots were there to snap up Battler's attention (given that he is something of a pervert), and the contorted facial expressions served to troll him even harder. However, when it came to depicting the scenes developing her and Battler's relationship, she got into "tsun" mode and didn't want too much hints about her real feelings for him given away, so she cut down on any scenes suggesting her feelings for him went beyond that of a "worthy opponent".
The "witches" are literally roleplayers
Really, really bad ones who love to troll, god-mod, and are fighting over who gets to be the spotlight character of the RP. Battler is the poor schmuck who wandered innocently into the forum and ended up getting strung along by all of them; the colored-text battles are him trying to call the "witches" out on their terrible RPing.
Bernkastel did the Final Destination movies.
Admit it, this is exactly something she'd do.
Beatrice in particular adores giving characters verbal smackdowns about their flaws, and their Berserk Button is humans denying that they exist. Kanon and Shannon have similar issues to Aigis and Teddie. There's also an awful lot of butterfly symbolism going down between both franchises.
Battler and Beatrice are just a couple of really drunk friends trying to recall something-or-other.
Each retelling gets increasingly bizarre, with more 'magical' elements and characters added each time.
Okonogi spoke of world peace for a reason.
It turns out that actually Kinzo's epitaph leads not just to the gold, controversial in itself, but also a secret cache of weaponry and multi-national secrets. The Ushiromiya family found them out, and if word got out, World War III would have broken out and caused the collapse of multiple governments of First World Nations all over the planet. Therefore, to keep this from happening, Shkannon, an orphan from Fukuin house (actually a secret plant for training shadow government assassin agents) was assigned with observing the Ushiromiyas and silencing them if things turned bad. Therefore, by killing the Ushiromiyas, the entire world was saved from nuclear fallout. It is for this reason that Beatrice martyred herself as a supernatural witch, as Shkannontrice felt sympathy for the family (especially Battler) and wanted them to die as heroes in service of mankind and it's future.
Umineko no Naku Koro ni is based off of a true story.
Why else would the this is a work of fiction disclaimer be in white instead of red?
Sakutaro and EVA are related
Their themes are a little too related for This Troper. We can only hope we are being trolled, or else that stuffed lion is a greater troll than Fermat.
The Siestas were made in Iceland
Why else would they have the national flag on their arms?
Battler's sin is not finishing Higurashi no Naku Koro ni
12-year-old Battler is reading this book Higurashi no Naku Koro ni (which he namedrops in Ep. 1). Let's pretend it's a choose-your-own adventure book with about a million ways to die and only one Good End. Battler takes this book with him to Rokkenjima to kill time, but gets frustrated with it, rage-quits, and accidentally leaves it lying around somewhere on the island. Because of the falling out with his father, he never returns to retrieve it, and he never contacts anyone on the island to send it back to him. Eventually, he forgets about finishing the series entirely.
Meanwhile, poor little Rika Furude has a bit of a problem on her hands: her master suddenly just... stopped playing/reading. She has no hope of reaching that one good end now - she'll just be killed in the same ways over and over.
Eventually, something very unlikely occurs and Rika manages to reach that single good end by herself and becomes Bernkastel, the Witch of Miracles because of it. She's not happy though. Most pieces aren't after being abandoned by their master to be repeatedly killed for no rhyme or reason.
Bernkastel decides that she can only be satisfied with revenge. The next time Battler returns to Rokkenjima, she's going to make him experience the same hell she had to go through...
The reason Bernkastel is evil...
Is because she saw Rika's horrible performance in the Higurashi English dub. So horrible was the attempt at Nii-pah that it caused her to hate all reality.
The Ushiromiya gold...
... used to belong to the Knox family. Dlanor will solve the epitaph to reclaim it, then have the gold moved to a high-security fort.
Santa Claus will save everyone.
The 8th game is being released at the end of December, and Beato and Bern talked an awful lot about him at the end of Episode 2. Frankly, I wouldn't be too surprised.
Sebastian is one of the goat butlers.
Ronove taught him everything.
Featherine isn't Hanyuu, Dlanor is.
Have we ever seen the inquisitor without her hat? She adopted a new verbal tic to stay hidden and covered up her horns.
Beatrice isn't a witch, she's from the Moon Tribe.
A Trickster Mentor who leads the protagonist to the end of a journey through riddles and various amounts of taunting, a subverted Redemption Equals Death, tragic backstory including being responsible(?) for a massacre, Hair of Gold. Sounds awfully familiar.
Maria's father is Ganondorf.
Orange hair, both of them are slightly unhinged, and then you see the family resemblance in this video. The true reason Battler avoids family conferences.
It's Lion's fault for being a butt-pincher. Battler got tired of it, so he stopped showing up.
Why are there only 17 people?
Because Furudo Erika is a Complete Monster.
Everything's going to be okay.
Someone will solve the epitaph, no one will die, nothing's going to explode, and.... *sniff...*
The whole Rokkenjima massacre incidents are just a cover-up.
Flandre Scarlet escaped from the basement, and got a little rowdy. As a fellow witch/magician, Beatrice owed Patchouli a favor, so she covered the whole thing up. And the whole detective motif? Flandre's theme: U.N. Owen was her?.
It's all a bad dream.
"Ugh... I'm never eating mackerel before bed ever again."
Is this the real life?
Click
Dlanor is from Gensokyo.
She's a relatively young-looking girl who wears a somewhat-frilly outfit and a Nice Hat, and she has her very own meme ("DIE THE DEATH! etc.")
Beatrice used to be Inoue Orihime.
Her powers have grown to the point she has trascended humanity. Observe:
Shannon is infected with the Hinamizawa Syndrome.
We now know that the outfits of the Siesta Sisters, wich are oddly similar to the Angel Mort outfits, were originally designed by Shannon. So where did Shannon came up with the design? Where else but at Angel Mort, Okinomiya, itself, where she went on vacation at some point. And we know that hanging around Hinamizawa is enough to get you infected...
Willard is Chuck Norris.
Both exude an aura of untempered badassery.
Genji is an ex-spy and/or a scret agent
He can trow knifes with a perfect aim! he is like james bond!!
All 18 people on the island entered a small room together and suffocated, the whole thing is a Dying Dream.
Personally, I think they all died because they suffocated.
With that much boobage in the house, it wouldn't be impossible, especially if all 18 people (that's 10 oversized boobs) squished together in a room. The oxygen that wasn't pushed out of the room by the bouncers would be used up very quickly. That's why Battler is always oogling at the girls breasts; was the last thing he saw. This also explains Beatrice's huge tatas.
Bernkastel is GLaDOS.
Makes more sense when you remember that Lambdadelta's a cake.
Beatrice is Lady Gaga ]]
Think about it.
Gaap is a bisexual
Willard H. Wright was once Aragaki Shinjiro.
Bernkastel is actually a Puella Magi Madoka Magica witch
(MJAOR SPOILERS for PMMM and When They Cry) Why? Because Rika's a magical girl, that's why! Beatrice is just continuing the game because she secretly likes Battler.
And she thinks that he's cute when he's thinking or angry and stuff.
The red truth proves that red does makes thing go faster.
Well, the truth must be said in red, right? And it has been proven!
The United States will release Umineko
This equation proves a popular theory
If we reference the unused Knox's Fifth and play the game of Umineko after the manner of Chinese Chess, we can gather that at least Kanon and Lion are the same person. The piece Pao (translation: cannon, is also sometimes referred to as simply "cannon") does not show up in the traditional English game. Another name for the Pao or Cannon is the Rook Lion, sometimes abbreviated to Rion. Rion = Lion with Japanese phonetics. Therefore, Rion (Lion) = Cannon (Kanon)!
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